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slimmacee23 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 1:00pm
Anyone else have that 1 person that you wonder about, sometimes? 

There's this 1 guy who I've been hanging out with for about 3 years, now. At first, we were just cool as hell-- but after hanging out throughout the years I began to really like him. We never dated because we were both always taken at the wrong time... Like when I had a boyfriend, he would be single. When he had a girlfriend, I would be single. We would only get together and chill if we were going through it with our S/O (but just as friends). Throughout our whole friendship/lustship/whatever we only went all the way once, when we were both single (i was single for months)- but we stopped talking after that and we both got back into a relationship. 

A few months ago, we actually both were going through it with our boo's so we hang out, and actually talk about "us". He was telling me how he wishes things were different, how I'm his escape, that he never wants me to stop coming around, and that he'll always chase me but won't do all the chasing. We kissed and held each other tight, it was really intense. 

but as usual, we make up with our exes....  Confused  sometimes i think about maybe i should have given it a shot with this guy... we have so much in common. 

anyone else have stories of "that 1 person".. ? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 5:22pm
No, I've never been on that position .. though I know a girl that was. (They got together but it ended baddly).
 
IMO if there is something 'there' he should have made a real move .. then and there, especailly since you both agree that your getting together is always ill-timed. What's he waiting for?
 
Instead you cuddle and kiss a bit and then he tells you ... you he will always come back to you? What? After the next relationship fails .. he will come back to you? And he tells you he won't always be doing the chasing? So he expects YOU to chase him? If you want him ... you DEFINTELY cannot chase him! Nooooo that will mess up the balance of power.  I don't know why he told you that.
 
Something ain't right here.
 
I think he just likes to keep you in the back drawer in some way ... so that if everything else falls through (and he is actually predicting that IT WILL fall through with other women HINT. HINT!) he can always come back .. to you. The fallback girl.Disapprove This is CERTAINLY a powerless situation for you to be in!
 
I sense the prelude to a 'cheating' situation ... on the horizon. (shrugs) Just feels like it. Like he will up suddenly and announce he is getting married (but still be thinking you and him will get together .. ahh one day). That's just a fun game he is playing. It's nice to have someone mooning after you...
 
IMO ... I would make a sincere go at your current relationship and JUST be friends with this back door kind of guy. Put this guy aside romantically because I think he wants to have his cake .. and eat it to. When he sees that you are not gonna chase him (DUH!) he has to make a grown up decision.
 
So if he DOES have a sincere interest in you, he will stop seeing that other women  ..step up like a man .. and make an honest effort with you in a real relationship. 
 
It's that simple. (don't fool yourself into believing that it's too complicated for that to happen!)


Edited by Printer_Ink - Sep 23 2013 at 5:44pm
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 04 2013 at 8:45am
Sounds like it was just never meant to be....




Edited by Beauty620 - Oct 04 2013 at 8:46am
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 21 2013 at 4:17pm
No; I honestly think it is unhealthy to be holding out for that 1 person, or to always have that particular person in the back of your mind, regardless of your single or "in a relationship" status.
Most people who live this way have a distorted idea of who that person is and fantasize that the person is everything they want........when most likely they are not (because if they were, they would be together).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 5:13am
You and that dude are not meant to be.

I know the wishful-thinking and mystery is there, but you two are clearly backups for each other because neither of you like each other enough to pursue.

As for me, I think I'm a very selfish person because I don't really wonder about others in relation to my heart. But that just keeps me at peace so I won't call it a bad thing. :D
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslandSuga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 6:28am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

No; I honestly think it is unhealthy to be holding out for that 1 person, or to always have that particular person in the back of your mind, regardless of your single or "in a relationship" status.
Most people who live this way have a distorted idea of who that person is and fantasize that the person is everything they want........when most likely they are not (because if they were, they would be together).


I'm like that with one of my friends. But I know he and I will never work out. As much as I like him as my friend and I still have some residual feelings for him, I wouldn't want to be with him because he flirts too much considering he has a girlfriend.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 10:11pm
Sounds like you want to make it happen, but he doesn't and you think that it is just bad timing. He is searching for something better and if that never comes along then he will settle for you...Maybe if he can get a feel for what life will be without being able to run back to you he may or may not realize you are the one. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kavita000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2013 at 5:54am
Yeah.. You should have but things are quite different now. Don't spoil what you really have. I think it's the time to let these feelings go.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2013 at 8:07am
Originally posted by IslandSuga IslandSuga wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

No; I honestly think it is unhealthy to be holding out for that 1 person, or to always have that particular person in the back of your mind, regardless of your single or "in a relationship" status.
Most people who live this way have a distorted idea of who that person is and fantasize that the person is everything they want........when most likely they are not (because if they were, they would be together).


I'm like that with one of my friends. But I know he and I will never work out. As much as I like him as my friend and I still have some residual feelings for him, I wouldn't want to be with him because he flirts too much considering he has a girlfriend.
 
IMO any guy that flirts too much period whether or not he has a girlfriend .. is a dog in my book. He will flirt with women such that your friends see so he's making a fool out of you when you have to keep telling people 'it doesn't mean anything'.
 
I dated a guy like this ONCE .. never again. I will not be in the company of a guy .. that can't keep his eyes or his conversation away other women. Dog. Will make a fool out of you eventually.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote iWorship_BlackGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 19 2013 at 2:36pm

So why is it when you both were single he didn't try to make you his main thing? He already got the coochie... So he is winning.

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