Texts From Straight White Boys

Here is one of my weird messages from okcupid (from a black guy)



Now would you look at that..you done popped up in my matches. I know right, sh*t is crazy! If I were you I would celebrate this momentous occasion. Make sure you do it like rick james though..IT'S A CELEBRATION!!!!!!! (DAVE CHAPELLE VOICE)

Now that we have gotten the sarcasm out the way it's get to the nitty gritty of things

Now. I could write a resume (though I really don't want to ) Tell you all about me. Like I'm sixteen and applying for my first minimum wage job. Chill..... it's online dating. That's just suicide and probably the LAST thing you want to read.

Now, I could just go on my cop flow( I have been paying attention to law & order) and list out interrogation questions and ask you generic sh*t like what you do for fun?( I don't like cops..soo uh no) Then there is always the option of going philosophical and ask something deep... hmmm something like. "So where are you from?" You'd swoon, realizing that I care about where you are from and thus 'where you're coming from'. You'd get all frantic over my charm?...HAHAHA SIKE!!

OOOOORRRRRRRRR...... I could just delete all of this sh*t and type "Hey sweetheart, how ya doing? Saw your profile. Ur fine as hell girl ...goddamn!!! can I get ya numba!!" I heard that it has a high success rate. (oh the lies!) I mean, that's what everyone does right? So it MUST work! Shouldn't it?

Rather lets just go in a different direction entirely. I am honestly intrigued by your profile, and think it could be nothing short of marvelous to find out more about you. You know, talk, converse, chat it up and get answer to those basic questions:

"Is she a total basket case in
hiding?"
"Will I fall asleep sitting next
to her when we hang out?"
and don't forget...
"Is she just a guy with fake
pictures, pretending to be a
girl?!?!?"

Now how about we start an little interaction ! Sound good? Dope!!! Lets get creative...

WE'RE GOING ON A ROADTRIP!!!! To any destination , whether it's a place you always wanted to go or some place that interests you....doesn't matter your the captain of this voyage...so captain where are we going to go and why ?



I didn't reply back lmaoo It was too much goin on there

A legendary Poet once said ...... and I quote ....

Who the hell thinks writing an essay as a greeting is going to work, though?

Can you imagine doing that to someone in real life? They're going to gradually back up and walk away!

Stuff like this makes me chuckle.

I can't believe men that are like that online actually have real friends and lives.

lol i wanted to see what it was like too wonder…