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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 12:45pm
Her rotten friend was probably jealous of the love and success the girl had and planted bad seeds.

It almost happened to me, I had a ratchet friend from  ages 11 to 16 that would try to influence me to do bad stuff. She is a year older than i am and was always out with a boy or at a ratchet party with older people.

 Her mom was heavy into drugs and she lived with her grandmother, but her grandmother wasnt very motherly and kind of left her to grow up herself. She doesnt know who her real father is and always had to watch her younger siblings.

 Meanwhile I always was a star student, minded my manner with my parents (in public Tongue) and adults loved me. My dad was severely against me hanging out with her but my mom was friends with her grandmother so naturally we did spend a significant amount of time together.

She would constantly try to make me feel uncool or like a lame b/c i wouldnt do the stuff she did like go on chat rooms and pretend to be older than she was and talk dirty to random guys on the internet.

She ended up having a baby at 16, didnt stay with the father. Dropped out of HS. I think she finished her GED not too long ago but she's moved several times to different places still living the ratchet life.

My dad and other people close to us during that time could see that she was jealous of what I had and were right to warn me of how she was.

Did your friend monitor the crowd she hangs out with?


Edited by eanaj5 - Jan 07 2013 at 12:46pm
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mzmee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mzmee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 12:47pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


what about her other friends? do any of them have babies?
I remember one of her friends she told us about that was pregnant in the 9th grade. She told us that she transferred to another school because her grades dropped too bad. When she told us about her she stated how she called her every now and then to check up on her.
 
I really don't see many of her friends from her school. Because I'm so busy, my only time to kick back is when it's girls night.
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mzmee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mzmee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 12:49pm
Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

Sometimes clinics give discounts if they're low-income and there are local funds people can call.  Medicaid doesn't cover it.  A lot of private insurance do cover it, but many people are afraid of it showing up for the policy holder, so they come up with the cash on their own and pay out of pocket.  If her parents have given her a lot of things, students will pawn or sell stuff their parents won't miss.    
Thanks Jas. I swear I was lost. I know I remember mom telling my sister (it's her friend, originally) that she had to give them insurance info and she called up to the school. So they have all of their insurance info on file already. All the student has to do is go to the clinic and state what they need???
 
I don't like the sound of this.
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ceme View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ceme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 12:53pm
This kind of reminds me of a situation my brother had when he was 17.
Parents talked and talked with him. They found out that talk is cheap. Action was needed.
 
Sometimes as parents we need to got to the extreme and just cut your losses and move.
 
A new environment can do wonders.
I would also cut out all that extra curricular activity because those are privileges. She must earn that back.
Instead have her do volunteer work at shelters for women or try and help out at an orphanage.
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 12:59pm
Originally posted by ceme ceme wrote:

This kind of reminds me of a situation my brother had when he was 17.
Parents talked and talked with him. They found out that talk is cheap. Action was needed.
 
Sometimes as parents we need to got to the extreme and just cut your losses and move.
 
A new environment can do wonders.
I would also cut out all that extra curricular activity because those are privileges. She must earn that back.
Instead have her do volunteer work at shelters for women or try and help out at an orphanage.

all good ideas. or involve her in a girls group at a church if they are religious, or maybe a big brothers big sisters program? idk if she's too old for it though.

Whatever the case she needs to know that she is still loved and accepted by her family regardless. People lie and hide things out of fear. She needs to feel safe in-spite of her mistakes.

I think mom should speak with her father and their pastor if they have one and come up with a plan of action from there, keeping in mind that the goal is to come to an understanding of what has happened and not to make her feel attacked, judged or embarrassed.
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JasmineE02 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JasmineE02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 1:01pm
Mzmee, sort of.  It all varies state to state.  Only some states require either consent or notification of either one or both parents.  Because there are a lot of minors out there in situations that are less than ideal, they can do a judicial bypass.  They go before a judge and state their case about why they feel they're mature enough to make the decision.  Very rarely are these denied, but it happens.  I'm not sure what state you're in, but the Guttmacher website gives breakdowns of laws surrounding abortion. 

The main reason many states have decided against requiring minors to inform their parents is for their safety.  For every supportive parent, there's another who will beat and kick out a pregnant teen.  It's sad that kids from supportive families don't always go to their parents with these problems, but the state wants to avoid child abuse when possible.  Abortion and teen pregnancy can make parents do cruel things. 


Edited by JasmineE02 - Jan 07 2013 at 1:02pm
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PRnena View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PRnena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 2:48pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:


Originally posted by PRnena PRnena wrote:

Sorry suga lol. I'm just saying. Depo isn't the best bet. No birth control is 100% fool proof. It all depends on body chemistry


Unfortunately there's only so much you can do to prevent these things from happening. I'm a teenager myself and I know that If she is really determined she will find a way.


I don't think Mirena is recommended for teenagers... I know when I was in HS they recommeded it to the girls that had severe cramps from menstrual. Everyone is different.

This is a tuff one OP. I would take thin hair and a thick boneded body from Depo over a baby while in highschool. Plus she already has STD's. Someone needs to inform the school so those nasty little slim fit jeaned boys don't spread it to all the girls in the school.


I'm 19 and my doctor said mirena is best because its low hormone and very effective and has less side effects. Getting mirena next month. :D. I've been on birth control since 13
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 3:12pm
I wouldn't do anything BHM would appreciate/approve of, so.....

Good luck MzM! Hug 

*leaves*

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ladybird0724 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 3:47pm
Originally posted by PRnena PRnena wrote:

Depo can further worsen depression and has a lot of negative side effects. And the worst thing is once injected it takes up to 3 months to get out of your system. If anything , try mirena or nuvaring. I'm just saying   


yes...that's what happened to me.

idk if they would put a teen on mirena, it's more recommended for women who have already had a child. also, mirena is having a lot of legal issues, but there hasn't been a recall for it.

yes, no BC is 100% safe or effective, but I think pills are the safest are the way to go for teens

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MinnyMiss16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 5:23pm
I wish I could help you, but I cant. I was the goodie two shoes in high school and saw many friends going down the wrong path. I tried to talk to them about their issues and help them out, but it didnt work. Many of them are exactly who I thought they would be come . I wish I could help, but somethings must have happened in her life for her to feel that she has to be so self destructive and many people I know do not come back from it. I would seek therapy man smh..
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