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mzmee 
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 Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 10:43am |
 sugabanana wrote:
My hypothetical daughter/s:
I would take her and all the other girls straight to the doctor for DEPO shots STAT!!!. I don't trust the pills and teenage girls forget to take them. We need her going to college and not standing in line for Similac. I'm not asking any questions because teenagers lie and cry at the same damn time.
My next move after the shot has been administered is to start talking. She may want to open up after a while if mom continues to probe. Mom has to be a friend at this point and not a mama.
Convo starts: Baby girl I know you gotta a boyfriend or someone your "talking to" (do they still use this term) I did in HS. Anyways I know you got a BF and I want us to have a relationship where we can be open. I'm always here for you. If you're having sex I need you to wrap it up. I don't care how good he looks, what he promises and how good he is. Wrap it up!! I need you focused and not out here trying to destroy your future getting pregnant. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me then go to aunty (TiTi) or one of your younger aunties and feel free to talk to them.
Mama should not absolutely NOT tell her that you saw the conversations on her phone. That will lbe the beginning of deleting text before coming home. HTH's
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None of them are on pills. Some of the girls can't remember left from right. lmao
The first thing I said was DON'T TELL HER!!! She'll become a master at hiding EVERYTHING!!!
Great advice!!! 
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mzmee
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 10:49am |
Qualified wrote:
Sh!t!!! Thats a trifecta for yo ass. Chlamydia, The Herps, and an abortion... Im speechless. And Im sure your friend feels helpless. What do you do when you've done all you can and your child still goes awry??? It truly takes a village, and before this little girl becomes "Another Black Girl Lost," yall are going to have to pull together even stronger, and even tighter and see to it, that she realizes that she has people that truly love her. That you all (both the adults and the peers) want the best for her, and are not going to judge her but instead empower her with the understanding that she only has one body, and protecting it needs to be paramount. Its but for God's grace that she scathed away with Herpes and not AIDS (though I wouldnt want any of it)... I dont want her to develop thoughts that she's worthless because she has something incurable, so it important to keep that girl and her family lifted in prayer and hope for the best. |
One thing that worries me is this: If the teen has it so mom can't/won't know with the clinic she can still do this when mom takes her to the dr. She hasn't told her about what she found, daughter doesn't know mom knows about her current condition. We told her to hold up on the confrontation.
The Dr. will ask the child (>13) if it's okay that the parent be present during the exam. I remember they did this with my daughter and I stared through her soul.
Did I mention I hate teenagers??
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sugabanana
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:00am |
mzmee wrote:
sugabanana wrote:
My hypothetical daughter/s:
I would take her and all the other girls straight to the doctor for DEPO shots STAT!!!. I don't trust the pills and teenage girls forget to take them. We need her going to college and not standing in line for Similac. I'm not asking any questions because teenagers lie and cry at the same damn time.
My next move after the shot has been administered is to start talking. She may want to open up after a while if mom continues to probe. Mom has to be a friend at this point and not a mama.
Convo starts: Baby girl I know you gotta a boyfriend or someone your "talking to" (do they still use this term) I did in HS. Anyways I know you got a BF and I want us to have a relationship where we can be open. I'm always here for you. If you're having sex I need you to wrap it up. I don't care how good he looks, what he promises and how good he is. Wrap it up!! I need you focused and not out here trying to destroy your future getting pregnant. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me then go to aunty (TiTi) or one of your younger aunties and feel free to talk to them.
Mama should not absolutely NOT tell her that you saw the conversations on her phone. That will lbe the beginning of deleting text before coming home. HTH's
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None of them are on pills. Some of the girls can't remember left from right. lmao
The first thing I said was DON'T TELL HER!!! She'll become a master at hiding EVERYTHING!!!
Great advice!!! |
That's why its recommended they all go on DEPO plus it helps with cramps and no periods. THEY NEED THIS. The poor girl is depressed. Check her computer history. She probably already did Google search on the STD's. I thought some forms of herpes were curable...no?
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Lhdc2011
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:16am |
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Sigh... I'd want her out of my home because she's done too much and will only stop under her own terms. She's not willing to communicate and if she does, it's probably lies. I never know what to say when someone hypothetically has it all but is still not enough to keep them acting right. Take the phone away or get her a cell phone where u can only dial 911 or something.
It may be obv that I'm not a parent based on my reply lol
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PRnena
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:20am |
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Depo can further worsen depression and has a lot of negative side effects. And the worst thing is once injected it takes up to 3 months to get out of your system. If anything , try mirena or nuvaring. I'm just saying
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khivey
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:23am |
mzmee wrote:
I have a question for you guys and want to wonder how you would handle this situation if you were the parent/family member. But I have to give a long ass backstory first.
My sisters, cousins and I (along with some of their friends) all have teenage daughters and once a week or every other Friday or Saturday we all get together and have a girls night. We either go to the show, mall, out to eat or chill at one of our homes and talk. Pretty much a bonding experience.
We've been doing this for maybe 2 or 3 years with our daughters. It's been good; the teens call us all auntie or 2nd momma and each other sisters/cousins and we've bonded a lot. We talk about boys, sex, school, employment, life lessons, teen pregnancy and us grown women shared our own experiences as well.
The Situation:
One of my Bond Sisters stated to us a few weeks ago how her daughter has become very withdrawn. She doesn't really participate in our activities (it's like it's being forced upon her judging from body language), she keeps her face in her phone, and doesn't talk to us or any of the girls anymore.
She also stated that on Thursday her youngest daughter found the teen's cell phone and there was a picture of her in there naked that she sent to a few boys. There were texts back and forth from one of her female friends telling her how she doesn't have to talk about anything to us; her mom doesn't know what's best for her therefore she is unable to dictate where and how she should spend her time. In these texts, it was discovered that she was pregnant and got an abortion and the boy she was seeing broke up with her because she told him she was pregnant. There was another text between her and another boy where they talked about all the sex acts they had done OUTSIDE AROUND THE SCHOOL. How they f@cked outside after school and before she went to cheerleading practice (about 45 minute timespan from school let out until cheerleading practice). It was so much sh!t my ears were bleeding when she told me.
I kind of felt bad because I couldn't really offer any advice to her. I'm completely shocked. I KNOW our daughters have their own lives, they're independent young ladies (teenage girls). This is just too damn extreme. It's like all the time we spent bonding, they giving their feedback (intelligently at that) and she was/is one of the leaders of the girls. How would you handle this?? Mom is LIVID!!! I really feel for her. The girl just made 16 and we all threw her a bomb ass sweet 16 last month.
Sorry for the long ass post.
But how would you handle this. AND NO, I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER WON'T DO. THE DAUGHTER IN THE OP IS YOUR HYPOTHETICAL DAUGHTER  !!! NOW...
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I don't even know. I think my heart would be broken to know she was going through all of that on her own. I would definitely approach her about it and I would be the mom to go and talk to the mom of the boy. I would put her on birth control and just have a serious talk with her. Then I would disable picture messaging on her cell phone. This is why I want to have boys only hahaha
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EPITOME
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:23am |
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depo can also thin hair on black women....and make you fat.
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PRnena
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:24am |
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Sorry suga lol. I'm just saying. Depo isn't the best bet. No birth control is 100% fool proof. It all depends on body chemistry
Unfortunately there's only so much you can do to prevent these things from happening. I'm a teenager myself and I know that If she is really determined she will find a way.
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kkscottdale
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:25am |
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DEPO is the DEVIL.
I have heard nothing positive about that drug. Try mirena or something else other than pills or that shot.
I would rather be abstinent than go on depo.
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mzmee
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Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:28am |
sugabanana wrote:
mzmee wrote:
None of them are on pills. Some of the girls can't remember left from right. lmao
The first thing I said was DON'T TELL HER!!! She'll become a master at hiding EVERYTHING!!!
Great advice!!! |
That's why its recommended they all go on DEPO plus it helps with cramps and no periods. THEY NEED THIS. The poor girl is depressed. Check her computer history. She probably already did Google search on the STD's. I thought some forms of herpes were curable...no?
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They're on BC just not pill form. I couldn't remember a pill and I sure as heck wouldn't depend on a teenager to.
With Herpes you can control the outbreaks with meds, you always have the disease.
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