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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:23am
Originally posted by mzmee mzmee wrote:

I have a question for you guys and want to wonder how you would handle this situation if you were the parent/family member. But I have to give a long ass backstory first.Cry
 
My sisters, cousins and I (along with some of their friends) all have teenage daughters and once a week or every other Friday or Saturday we all get together and have a girls night. We either go to the show, mall, out to eat or chill at one of our homes and talk. Pretty much a bonding experience.
 
We've been doing this for maybe 2 or 3 years with our daughters. It's been good; the teens call us all auntie or 2nd momma and each other sisters/cousins and we've bonded a lot. We talk about boys, sex, school, employment, life lessons, teen pregnancy and us grown women shared our own experiences as well.
 
The Situation:
 
One of my Bond Sisters stated to us a few weeks ago how her daughter has become very withdrawn. She doesn't really participate in our activities (it's like it's being forced upon her judging from body language), she keeps her face in her phone, and doesn't talk to us or any of the girls anymore.
 
She also stated that on Thursday her youngest daughter found the teen's cell phone and there was a picture of her in there naked that she sent to a few boys. There were texts back and forth from one of her female friends telling her how she doesn't have to talk about anything to us; her mom doesn't know what's best for her therefore she is unable to dictate where and how she should spend her time. In these texts, it was discovered that she was pregnant and got an abortion and the boy she was seeing broke up with her because she told him she was pregnant. There was another text between her and another boy where they talked about all the sex acts they had done OUTSIDE AROUND THE SCHOOL. How they f@cked outside after school and before she went to cheerleading practice (about 45 minute timespan from school let out until cheerleading practice). It was so much sh!t my ears were bleeding when she told me.
 
I kind of felt bad because I couldn't really offer any advice to her. I'm completely shocked. I KNOW our daughters have their own lives, they're independent young ladies (teenage girls). This is just too damn extreme. It's like all the time we spent bonding, they giving their feedback (intelligently at that) and she was/is one of the leaders of the girls. How would you handle this?? Mom is LIVID!!! I really feel for her. The girl just made 16 and we all threw her a bomb ass sweet 16 last month.Cry
 
 
Sorry for the long ass post.
 
But how would you handle this. AND NO, I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER WON'T DO. THE DAUGHTER IN THE OP IS YOUR HYPOTHETICAL DAUGHTERTongue!!! NOW...
 
 


I don't even know. I think my heart would be broken to know she was going through all of that on her own. I would definitely approach her about it and I would be the mom to go and talk to the mom of the boy. I would put her on birth control and just have a serious talk with her. Then I would disable picture messaging on her cell phone. This is why I want to have boys only hahaha



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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:23am
depo can also thin hair on black women....and make you fat.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PRnena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:24am
Sorry suga lol. I'm just saying. Depo isn't the best bet. No birth control is 100% fool proof. It all depends on body chemistry


Unfortunately there's only so much you can do to prevent these things from happening. I'm a teenager myself and I know that If she is really determined she will find a way.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote kkscottdale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:25am
DEPO is the DEVIL.

I have heard nothing positive about that drug. Try mirena or something else other than pills or that shot.

I would rather be abstinent than go on depo.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mzmee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:28am
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

Originally posted by mzmee mzmee wrote:

None of them are on pills. Some of the girls can't remember left from right. lmao
 
The first thing I said was DON'T TELL HER!!! She'll become a master at hiding EVERYTHING!!!
 
Great advice!!!Clap

That's why its recommended they all go on DEPO plus it helps with cramps and no periods. THEY NEED THIS. The poor girl is depressed. Check her computer history. She probably already did Google search on the STD's. I thought some forms of herpes were curable...no?
 
They're on BC just not pill form. I couldn't remember a pill and I sure as heck wouldn't depend on a teenager to.
 
With Herpes you can control the outbreaks with meds, you always have the disease.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:32am
Originally posted by PRnena PRnena wrote:

Sorry suga lol. I'm just saying. Depo isn't the best bet. No birth control is 100% fool proof. It all depends on body chemistry


Unfortunately there's only so much you can do to prevent these things from happening. I'm a teenager myself and I know that If she is really determined she will find a way.


I don't think Mirena is recommended for teenagers... I know when I was in HS they recommeded it to the girls that had severe cramps from menstrual. Everyone is different.

This is a tuff one OP. I would take thin hair and a thick boneded body from Depo over a baby while in highschool. Plus she already has STD's. Someone needs to inform the school so those nasty little slim fit jeaned boys don't spread it to all the girls in the school.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Naturalchick30 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:32am
Omg how old is this girl???
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Prazol60 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:32am
I wouldn't give her direct advice just in case whatever happens backfires. But her daughter needs help. She needs professional help. Maybe your daughter could drop some hints to this girl that she should go talk to somebody if they are close. If not, then you can be there for your friend as a shoulder to lean on.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tasty0619 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:33am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

damn teenage girl with involved parents still getting into mess? who is there hope for?

exactly!! on the outside it seems she has the ideal upbringing. I guess we're used to seeing this behavior when something is wrong, but nothing seems wrong. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2013 at 11:35am
Do you think it would be beneficial to have one of her peers (a girlfriend, sister, etc.) try to get through to her?
 
I know at 16, I wasn't trying to hear anything my mom had to say. However, with my peers, I was all ears. I didn't always take their advice, but I felt they understood better than my mom did.
 
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