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Taylor Swift Rolodex

 
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_leah View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:33am
LOLCry -- So, like, who's a bigger ho, her or Kim K.. (By BHM standards of course) 

Joe Jonas

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? Summer 2008
I thought he was gay?: Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: + 1 year (Jonas is 23)
Corresponding song: Forever and Always
Hidden message:
(every Swift track carries withIN it a hidden mesSAge, spelled out via letter capitalizatioNs In The lYric notes)
"IF YOU PLAY THESE GAMES, WE'RE BOTH GOING TO LOSE"
Sample lyric: Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest / That made you run and hide like a scared little boy?
Rebuttal: "It's flattering. It's always nice to hear their side of the story." (Swift alleges he broke up with her in a 27-second phonecall.)

John Mayer

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? 2009
I thought he was gay? Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: + 13 years (Mayer is 35)
Corresponding song: Dear John
Hidden message: "I LOVED YOU FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY"
Sample lyric: Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with? / Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
Rebuttal: "I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bullsh*t."

Taylor Lautner

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? 2009
I thought he was gay? Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: - 2 years (Lautner is 20)
Corresponding song: Back to December
Hidden message: "TAY"
Sample lyric: I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
Rebuttal: Polite applause.

Cory Monteith

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? 2010
I thought he was gay? Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: + 8 years (Monteith is 30)
Corresponding song: Too boring to warrant one. Here's Cory Monteith performing "Losing My Religion" from Glee.
Hidden message: "MURDER MURDER MURDER"
Sample lyric: That's me in the spotlight / Losing my religion
Rebuttal: Being boring.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? 2010
I thought he was gay? Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: + 9 years (Gyllenhaal is 31)
Corresponding song: Red
Hidden message: "SAG" (Swift and Gyllenhaal are both Sagittarians. Also he's in the Screen Actors Guild. Also he and Maggie have saggy puppy dog eyes.)
Sample lyric: Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer
Rebuttal: A deafening, disapproving silence.

Men She Met While She Was Paying Them to Appear in Her Music Videos

Who? Lucas Till, Toby Hemingway, This Mother
When did they date? 2009-Apocalypse
Where did they meet? Set of "You Belong With Me"; set of "Mine"; set of I Knew You Were Trouble"
Age difference: +0 to 7 years (Ages 22-29)
Corresponding song: Mine
Hidden message: TOBY
Sample lyric: Flash forward and we're taking on the world together / And there's a drawer of my things at your place.
Rebuttal: Fading into obscurity.

Conor Kennedy

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? Summer 2012
I thought he was gay? Might be a rumor Jessica P. spread in homeroom. We haven't heard that.
Age difference: - 4 years (Kennedy is 18)
Corresponding song: Everything Has Changed
Hidden message: " HYANNIS PORT"
Sample lyric: And all I've seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind
Rebuttal: Skipped the first annual Kennedy Family Celebration of Taylor Swift.

Robert F. Kennedy

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date: The 1945-era OtherWorld she visits when she dreams
I thought he was gay? Unlikely.
Age difference: + 65 (Kennedy would be 87 today)
Corresponding song: Starlight
Hidden message: FOR ETHEL
Sample lyric: I met Bobby on the boardwalk, summer of '45
Rebuttal: Sponsored the first annual Kennedy Family Celebration of Taylor Swift

Harry Styles

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? Spring, Autumn 2012
I thought he was gay? You might thinking of the other One Direction guy. Harry's taste generally run to British entertainment hosts (TV or radio) in their 30s. He recently helped break up a marriage, by having an affair with a 32-year-old woman when he was just 17.
Age difference: - 4 years (Styles is 18)
Corresponding song: I Knew You Were Trouble
Hidden message: "WHEN YOU SAW ME DANCING"
Sample lyric: A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be
Rebuttal: Reappeared 9 months after their first break-up with Taylor's baby. "I thought you should meet your son."

Johnny Depp? At Some Point, Probably, Right?

Whom Has Taylor Swift Dated: A Brief History of All The Men in the UniverseWhen did they date? Future date TBD
I thought he was gay? Correct. (Probably.)
Age difference: + 27 years (Depp is 49, timeless)
Corresponding song: Necklaces and Cravats
Hidden message: "EDWARD TAYLORHANDS"
Sample lyric: I met Johnny on the boardwalk, summer of '45
Rebuttal: "Taylor in Perpetuity" tattoo altered to read "Taylor is Perp"

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*Belle*Femme* View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote *Belle*Femme* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:43am
lol white folks sure know how to be obsessed with dumb ish. 
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_leah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (13) Thanks(13)   Quote _leah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:49am
Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

lol white folks sure know how to be obsessed with dumb ish. 

Sort of like how people on here are obsessed with Kim, Bey, Rih.. etc
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote SWEETBREAD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:54am
In the BHM Manual.........if you have a real career and work hard unlike Kim K via sex tape................then you young and  living your life.Ouch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote freedom76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:56am
ROFL @ John Kennedy and Johnny Depp.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote *Belle*Femme* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 8:58am
Originally posted by _leah _leah wrote:

Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

lol white folks sure know how to be obsessed with dumb ish. 

Sort of like how people on here are obsessed with Kim, Bey, Rih.. etc
precisely.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babyk94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 9:00am
Originally posted by _leah _leah wrote:


Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

lol white folks sure know how to be obsessed with dumb ish. 


Sort of like how people on here are obsessed with Kim, Bey, Rih.. etc
True
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:14am
Blah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (12) Thanks(12)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:19am
a black woman would be a heaux @ guy number 2. taylor swift is just having fun and being young.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Aerie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:20am
I loved this. 

I think Taylor's a bigger ho than Kim K. for her numbers and messiness with relationships ending. 
We all know that most singers who write music will use a breakup for a line or two, or a whole song. But this dumb broad broadcasts the whole thing, and tries to shame the other party. Even with the Kanye West thing, btch held on for a whole damn year to perform her song at the next awards and stuck him in her song. Seriously? Grow up and stop being a child. 

Kim K's only been with what...3 guys? Over the last 4 years. One she married, which was a epic fail but still. Yeah, she had a sex tape, but that's personal, not like she hoed out on playboy. 

Taylor's 22 with what, at least 9 celebrity guys we know of under her belt already? None of these guys have even accomplished that since breaking up/ending things with her! 
Plus her market is young girls, not exactly a great dating role model. 
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