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smaison View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote smaison Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:34pm
last year i had a bottle full of pills; sitting in my apartment all alone, crying, and as i was about to take them, my phone rang. it was actually a call from a bhm member who no longer frequents here. we ended up talking for about an hour and that person ended up telling me how much i meant to them and how much they appreciate me being there for them without even knowing what i was about to do. and that shocked me because like you i didn't really think people thought of me that way. i know i'm not the worst daughter/sister/friend/cousin, etc in the world but i didn't think that i touched ppl like that and hearing that really made me feel so much better, like yes i matter. after we got off the phone i didn't take the pills but i knew my "high" at the moment was temporary. i needed to find a way to keep feeling this way. 

there was a lot going on in my life at the time. yes i was successful in so many ways but i was also very lonely and have been dealing with depression for a very long time. no one ever stops to ask me if im ok; everyone comes to me for something but no one ever offers because to them i look like i had everything under control. i guess i came to the conclusion that i have a hand in my happiness and instead of trying to be perfect all the time and have a perfect life i should stop and smell the roses, and laugh, and dance, and joke, and eat good food, not be afraid to look like a fool, tell people no, etc. i do the weirdest shyt now; like go to a restaurant and get up and dance if they play a song i like and i'm sure people are looking at me funny but idgaf because i'm battling my own demons that they know nothing about and i'm trying to survive. i can't say this works all the time but its almost been a year and i do feel much brighter. 

the thing about depression is that it never truly goes away so i'm preparing myself for the next hit, this time though i feel like i have learned more coping skills to help me deal with it when the time comes. 

hugs to you my dear. 
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Senior Detective View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:36pm
Smaison & every one else
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alynxx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote alynxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:39pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

last year i had a bottle full of pills; sitting in my apartment all alone, crying, and as i was about to take them, my phone rang. it was actually a call from a bhm member who no longer frequents here. we ended up talking for about an hour and that person ended up telling me how much i meant to them and how much they appreciate me being there for them without even knowing what i was about to do. and that shocked me because like you i didn't really think people thought of me that way. i know i'm not the worst daughter/sister/friend/cousin, etc in the world but i didn't think that i touched ppl like that and hearing that really made me feel so much better, like yes i matter. after we got off the phone i didn't take the pills but i knew my "high" at the moment was temporary. i needed to find a way to keep feeling this way. 

there was a lot going on in my life at the time. yes i was successful in so many ways but i was also very lonely and have been dealing with depression for a very long time. no one ever stops to ask me if im ok; everyone comes to me for something but no one ever offers because to them i look like i had everything under control. i guess i came to the conclusion that i have a hand in my happiness and instead of trying to be perfect all the time and have a perfect life i should stop and smell the roses, and laugh, and dance, and joke, and eat good food, not be afraid to look like a fool, tell people no, etc. i do the weirdest shyt now; like go to a restaurant and get up and dance if they play a song i like and i'm sure people are looking at me funny but idgaf because i'm battling my own demons that they know nothing about and i'm trying to survive. i can't say this works all the time but its almost been a year and i do feel much brighter. 

the thing about depression is that it never truly goes away so i'm preparing myself for the next hit, this time though i feel like i have learned more coping skills to help me deal with it when the time comes. 

hugs to you my dear. 


Hug

You are not alone dear...glad you came thru.

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HaitianDiva64 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HaitianDiva64 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:40pm
oh wow
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:41pm
Wow, that was touching Smaison.  I agree.
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 5:02pm
Originally posted by HaitianDiva64 HaitianDiva64 wrote:

derri beautiful.
 
and lady ice I got your text i'm just hold up at work and can't really check my phone.... thanks love.
 
 
hi, mod *waves*
glad youre okay. 

this thread was nice..folks getting things off their chest. theres alot of smack being talked on this site..but it was nice everyone came through and looked out for each other here. you have to remember everyday you wake up you have a purpose. sometimes your head is so clogged up from troubles of everyday life that you forget youre alive for a reason. dont wanna sound all sappy. but its the truth.Embarrassed




i might have said that before...i think so...lol i just did my own repost. but i mean it though.
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alynxx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote alynxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 5:29pm


I am really touched at the way everyone on this forum comes together when there is a crisis with someone on the board. If anyone is in London that needs someone to talk to cos they are feeling down my pm box is open. Hug


Edited by alynxx - Feb 01 2014 at 8:05pm
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Nitty0102 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Nitty0102 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 16 2014 at 6:42am
Alynxx I might just hold you to that xxx

Xxx    
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