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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (8) Thanks(8)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2014 at 12:04pm
Yes I have seriously considered it.

Depression is difficult to bear and to get rid of.
But mental illness is more common than we realize, partially due to the very nature of the mind.
If a person goes to the doctor and says, I hear voices in my head, they would be referred to a psychiatrist, though the doctor too hears voices in his/her head. The voice of doubt, the voice of condemnation, the voice of bitterness. And so, we are all mentally ill in some degree.

The mind is a powerful tool, and it's purpose is to find and fix problems. We seek problems out through our minds, and we analyze them, label them, and file them away. Then we take them out, reanalyze them, and box them away. Wash rinse repeat. Essentially, we are not using our minds, our minds are using us! We have become slaves to our minds...slaves to seeking out a circumstance that has already happened to us, replaying it, analyzing, labeling it, and stamping that label to ourselves.

That time my father left our family and never looked back made me feel abandonned and unimportant. I must not be worth much. Worthless woman I am.
My man cheated on me and left me, why must everyone think I am so worthless? What about me makes me worthless? Is it my complexion? My poverty? My education level? My boring personality? I remeber that time in class when I made a joke and no one laughed, and Tasha rolled her eyes and made an L with her fingers and everyone laughed at that. She had a fun personality and I didn't. I've been lame since I was a kid. Was I born with a wack personality?

This is how the mind works. These are the kind of things the voice inside says. We get lost in them (because the mind is in control, and not we ourselves) and because of this mental dysfunction, we have become mentally ill. Depressed, suicidal...etc.
We essentially think too much. our minds want an identity...albeit a negative one, because at least a negative thought can be identified as such.
But what are we outside of our thoughts? Do we cease to be when we cease to think? 'I think, therefore I am'. Descartes thought himself profound when he said this, but is it actually accurate?


Lol...

Edited by Derri - Jan 31 2014 at 12:32pm
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AmyAmyAmy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmyAmyAmy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2014 at 1:02pm
^^Deep
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RachelRegina View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote RachelRegina Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Yes I have seriously considered it.

Depression is difficult to bear and to get rid of.
But mental illness is more common than we realize, partially due to the very nature of the mind.
If a person goes to the doctor and says, I hear voices in my head, they would be referred to a psychiatrist, though the doctor too hears voices in his/her head. The voice of doubt, the voice of condemnation, the voice of bitterness. And so, we are all mentally ill in some degree.

The mind is a powerful tool, and it's purpose is to find and fix problems. We seek problems out through our minds, and we analyze them, label them, and file them away. Then we take them out, reanalyze them, and box them away. Wash rinse repeat. Essentially, we are not using our minds, our minds are using us! We have become slaves to our minds...slaves to seeking out a circumstance that has already happened to us, replaying it, analyzing, labeling it, and stamping that label to ourselves.

That time my father left our family and never looked back made me feel abandonned and unimportant. I must not be worth much. Worthless woman I am.
My man cheated on me and left me, why must everyone think I am so worthless? What about me makes me worthless? Is it my complexion? My poverty? My education level? My boring personality? I remeber that time in class when I made a joke and no one laughed, and Tasha rolled her eyes and made an L with her fingers and everyone laughed at that. She had a fun personality and I didn't. I've been lame since I was a kid. Was I born with a wack personality?

This is how the mind works. These are the kind of things the voice inside says. We get lost in them (because the mind is in control, and not we ourselves) and because of this mental dysfunction, we have become mentally ill. Depressed, suicidal...etc.
We essentially think too much. our minds want an identity...albeit a negative one, because at least a negative thought can be identified as such.
But what are we outside of our thoughts? Do we cease to be when we cease to think? 'I think, therefore I am'. Descartes thought himself profound when he said this, but is it actually accurate?


Lol...


This was deep and in most ways i can relate to what you wrote. i've always been an unhappy person esp. an unhappy child.
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BHMModerator5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote BHMModerator5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:07pm
Hi HD,

We have all been somewhere at sometime in our life. You have an online family here and some I am sure you can contact over the phone. Just keep in mind if it is that serious seek professional help.

If you need another person to vent or chat with I am always here, again not a professional but I am told I am a great listener. Sometimes that is all you need.

You are not in this alone all you need is prayer and support. I am going through a few things myself, we all have our ups and downs and how we get through it prepares us for the great things that are to come.

My prayers to you.

Hugs sweetheart.
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:16pm
hugs and prayers to everyone who has been there. it's a dark place, but you can make it out
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:31pm
I wouldn't have guessed you had been there, HD.  You're all-around wonderful person.  I hope you get through it!

And yes, I have been there.  I agree with the others who say it can be a lifelong battle.  I felt it since I was a child; without a purpose and unwanted; unloved.  I seriously thought I was God's mistake (when I was a believer) and that the world would be a better place without me because I wasn't good enough.  What stopped me was wanting to live despite the pain and never wanting to say I gave up.  I thought, I want to be worth something someday; I want things to change and I wanted my life to be worth more than that.  Some days it's hard, I'll cry and fall into despair but no matter what, I know I must keep living.  Learning new things help me and accomplishing goals I set.
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:36pm
my 10 year old nephew is going through it. of course my sis is coming to me cuz i know it all too well. but what do you tell a parent or a child?
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:50pm
The scenarios of how the mind works in my post aren't situations from my real life, I just made up examples of how carried away we get by our thoughts. How we analyze and go back in the past to find examples that might confirm the self image we are trying to create for ourselves.

My depression came from home sickness. North America was a big adjustment for me becauae of the age that I moved here.

To be honest, the whole thing is flawed. It really can be a life long battle because the mind is completely equipped to keep running 'the story of me' forever. The way out is finding out who this 'me' is.

But we're getting our idea of who 'me' is from others. If 'me' is inside, why do I look for me on the outside?

ETA: Depression can go away. I am absolutely no longer depressed, after having been depressed for several long and hard years. Being depressed was the best thing that happened to me...in hindsight, of course.


Edited by Derri - Feb 01 2014 at 4:39pm
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mrshairdo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:03pm
this may seem corny but OP have you ever tried affirmations??
this helped me when i was going through it (and I do agree it is a life long thing that you need to work on)

this is what I would do: I recorded 15-20 minutes of me repeating over and over positive things I needed to hear and positive things I wanted to happen. I would listen to it about 3 times a day. First thing in the morning as I woke up, last thing before bed and a random time during the day. 

The mind is a very powerful tool and if you can reach down to the thoughts you carry deep within your subconscious, you might be able to change those negative roots that affect how you think.

Just a suggestion, I wish u the best Hug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote HaitianDiva64 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 4:04pm
derri beautiful.
 
and lady ice I got your text i'm just hold up at work and can't really check my phone.... thanks love.
 
 
hi, mod *waves*
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