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GoodGirlGoneGr8 
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 24 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 64930
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 Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 9:22am |
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You're loved, HD...and your life is a beautiful thing, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Is there anyone, even a member here that you can reach out to for support?
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Princess Grace
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 10 2011
Location: On Your Mind
Status: Offline
Points: 137556
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 9:33am |
No, my family needs me to tell them that buying Gucci bags at purse parties is a cardinal sin  .
On a serious note, if you need to talk you can pm me I hardly ever sleep and even though I post a bunch of foolery I have a bunch of sense and I wont save anything you said to have a gotcha moment in a thread.
I promise you it will get better 
Edited by Princess Grace - Jan 23 2014 at 9:37am
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hauteshellbi
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 10 2010
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 61149
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 9:42am |
 hugs for you op
honestly yes the only person that would really miss me is my mom and i would never put my mom through that...i love her way too much, thats really the only reason i didn't.
And my mom kinda picked up that i was unhappy so we got a dog, we love him sooo much...he gets love like a newborn baby  but he seriously he helped me 100%
It took a couple years but I'm better now!
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india100
Platinum Member
Joined: Feb 19 2008
Location: in God's hand
Status: Offline
Points: 156058
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:01am |
You are welcome to contact me day or night if you would like to vent . Your life is worth living . Please call a hotline and go to the Emergency room . Flush all meds . I know simply from your post you are a strong black woman . Prayers and positive thoughts .
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is hard with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem pointless that you must not quit
Edited by india100 - Jan 23 2014 at 10:02am
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Ming
Elite Member
Joined: May 25 2009
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 23839
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:01am |
I wrote an entire story but nothing I say about me or why you shouldn't, etc. will change how you feel about you, so It'll get better
Edited by Ming - Jan 23 2014 at 10:03am
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Cream1970
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 09 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 37285
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:24am |
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No, never.
I guess it's because I'm no stranger to poverty, financial instability, life threatening disease, losing a loved one, etc.
I've been thru brief periods in which it felt that my world was crumbling down on me; lost my job unexpectedly less than a year after purchasing a house and new vehicle, bf unexpectedly broke up with me during that time, faced foreclosure and vehicle repossession, all at the same time.
Broke, jobless, facing losing my house and truck. I was pretty depressed.
But my mother reminded me, "What's good doesn't always stay good, but what's bad doesn't always stay bad, either."
She has yet to be wrong.
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purpulicious01
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 07 2005
Location: أمريكا
Status: Offline
Points: 33049
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:59am |
 HaitianDiva64 wrote:
I love you lqdies. I'm. Not gonna lie, i had a pocket full of pills ready before i made this post. |
Please call 1-800-273-8255 , the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
There is a stigma against suicide and depression, so many feel embarrassed to reach out/get help, but its nothing to be ashamed about.
I've never thought about suicide personally, but I've been trained on and do work with Suicide Prevention in my city. Many people consider attempting suicide because they feel that they haven't nothing to live for, and that's never true. Even if you don't realize it, you have something to live for.
Please call the above number. If you want to, you can PM me, or any one on BHM you feel comfortable speaking to.
Edited by purpulicious01 - Jan 23 2014 at 11:00am
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petiteone29
Elite Member
Joined: Jan 02 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 51528
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:08am |
nekamarie83 wrote:
No. And if there's one thing I'd wish, it would be that people wouldn't use the word "selfish" in relation to suicide (ideation/action).
I hate that people can't be allowed to feel and express those feelings of death, dispair, depression, not wanting to be here without society (as a general being) wanting to guilt trip, fix, shame, ignore and/or minimize said feelings due to their embarrassment, morals, religion, ignorance, discomfort etc. |
Totally agree. My bestie is going through this with her brother who has been depressed every since he left the military. He has been having suicidal thoughts lately and he checked himself into the hospital. My bestie is pissed at him for being selfish and refuses to visit him. I told her to go see him. He needs love and support and not condemnation. Suicide isn't about being selfish. Feeling so sad to the point where you want to end your life isn't selfish to me. Despair is a terrible feeling for any human being.
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petiteone29
Elite Member
Joined: Jan 02 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 51528
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:09am |
To you OP
And anyone else feeling this way.
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noneyons
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 04 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 87160
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Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:38am |
I went through a rough patch about 5 years ago where I would spend most my days thinking about how I could go through with it without feeling pain or permanently crippling myself. I couldn't figure out a guaranteed way of making that happening so I'm still here.
You mentioned that you feel like you need to make a difference in life to feel worth. May I suggest that you walk through the valley in all your pain while giving a few hours out of the week volunteering to help sick or homeless children/elderly people?
You might not feel you have anything to offer but by giving a little of your time to someone else in need, you magnify your purpose. A lot of times the people you help will inspire you as well.
Put the pills down, babygirl. You are a beautiful, intelligent, funny woman who has everything to live for.
Life can be a real nasty ass bytch but I'm all about standing toe to toe with that bytch in defiance and not letting that trick get the best of me Give that bytch the finger and tell her, "I aint going no damn where! Matter fact, I'ma do everything in my power to laugh in the face of your bullsh*t antics and prove you a liar!"
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