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Topic Closed[Stood Up: UPDATE] What Would You Do?

 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [Stood Up: UPDATE] What Would You Do?
    Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 4:23am
Alright, so Dec. 29, I got into a relationship with a friend
I've known for two years. I've always known him to be a
very polite, attractive, honest, loyal and nice guy though
emotionally distant in general. Hey, he's a Capricorn! LOL

The thing is though, we're long distance. We live cities apart. We planned a trip to Little Tokyo with him and his friends. Now prior to the trip, I would ask him how things are gonna go and how they will be going to Little Tokyo. He would basically tell me he's not entirely sure yet due to vital information being in the hands of his friends and them not getting back to him on it.

Come this past Saturday, I'm on my way to Little Tokyo. I took the Metrolink train to come. When I finally reach the station, I call him and ask where he is. He says he and his friends are about to leave and they will be taking the bus. I ask him if they can come to the station because I didn't know my way to Little Tokyo on my own and he agrees to do so. A few minutes pass by and I decide to call him again to plan a meeting place for us to get together and he tells me they're already at Little Tokyo!

So at this point, I'm confused (and rather annoyed since had I not called, I probably would have been waiting for a ride to never come) and asking what happened to them going to the station to meet me and he tells me they actually got a ride. I ask if their ride can come and help a girl out, but he told me their ride already left. Great. I decide I'll try to find a way to Little Tokyo on my own and hopefully find them there! I took the metro to Little Tokyo and as I was about to get off, I called his phone to let him know I'm there and wanted to plan a place to meet him and his friends.

No answers. A couple of calls go by and by the third call, it goes straight to his message! So I'm thinking, "Did this dude just turn his phone off on me knowing damn well I'm coming?!" So now I'm getting worried and calling hoping to hear "beeeeeep beeeeep," but instead immediately getting "Your call could not be completed blah blah blah."

Now I'm officially mad and begin looking for him and his friends. Two hours pass by and no luck. By this time I'm very upset and begin to cry out of frustration and eventually give up going home depressed.


I finally get home by nighttime and sent him a long private message/rant about how I seriously did not appreciate how today went, how it was utter bullshit and a waste of my time and money, how careless he handled it, and wtf happened to his phone (I assumed his phone actually died, but the night before, he actually ended our nightly conversation by saying his phone is dying. So his phone dying in the early afternoon sounded fishy! Female rage is a mother), and if that's how he's always going to be in our relationship, he should let me know so I should just leave and save ourselves from unnecessary stress.

We eventually worked it out. I'm not gonna lie, I felt like ending the relationship because it's so new and yet big bullshit like this occurred. At the same time, we're still new and I have the tendency to dump people unnecessarily so I at least wanted to give him another chance because I can't expect him to be perfect. But I did let him know that if crap like this happens again, I'm gone.


My question to you is, even though I already made my decision,
 how would you handle it and why?



UPDATE:
Ladies, I have some news that seriously changed everything..
He and I just got off the phone. We had our normal conversation but then I brought up the incident not as a bad reminder but just as a "I hope we don't go through that again." He then lets me know that he actually wanted to write down my number on his arm just in case his phone died but forgot to. As cute as that sounds, it had no effect on me. It could have easily been a lie. But then he told me he was actually looking for me and headed to the station I was at. Problem was, he didn't remember the way to the station and tried to go there by walking. He went alone without his friends looking for me while I was looking for him in Little Tokyo.

So while we're on the phone, he tells me to go on FB to see the pics of him and his friends at Little Tokyo. I was still skeptical, so seeing proof was no problem to me.
All of the pics taken in the daytime didn't have him in it. All of the ones in the night did. At first I thought he probably took the pics which was why he wasn't in the daytime ones.

But then I remembered, I
saw this same group of people. I just never knew they were his friends! I saw them multiple times throughout the time I was looking for him/being miserable and he was never there. I though they were just strangers.. Cry

He's not the type to ditch his friends at all.

I asked him, "why didn't you tell me this earlier?" and he said because it didn't matter.
*Sigh* That's so typical of him to count minor details as insignificant.. But upon hearing this and realizing that I saw his friends constantly, I immediately felt guilty.

Also, he hasn't been able to find his charger so he's been using his mother's so that's how by Monday, we were able to call each other again.



Edited by Midna - Jan 12 2011 at 4:02am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 5:44am

So what was his excuse?

I'm sorry but it's a little early in the relationship for f*ck ups. I think this is a clue on how his going to be like in your relationship. Very unreliable. Didn't seem to care about your feelings and totally ignored what you said about meeting you at the station. Then mysteriously his not answering his phone. Hmm

I think you should end it honestly.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 5:55am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Alright, so Dec. 29, I got into a relationship with a friend
I've known for two years. I've always known him to be a
very polite, attractive, honest, loyal and nice guy though
emotionally distant in general. Hey, he's a Capricorn! LOL

The thing is though, we're long distance. We live cities apart. We planned a trip to Little Tokyo with him and his friends. Now prior to the trip, I would ask him how things are gonna go and how they will be going to Little Tokyo. He would basically tell me he's not entirely sure yet due to vital information being in the hands of his friends and them not getting back to him on it.

Come this past Saturday, I'm on my way to Little Tokyo. I took the Metrolink train to come. When I finally reach the station, I call him and ask where he is. He says he and his friends are about to leave and they will be taking the bus. I ask him if they can come to the station because I didn't know my way to Little Tokyo on my own and he agrees to do so. A few minutes pass by and I decide to call him again to plan a meeting place for us to get together and he tells me they're already at Little Tokyo!

So at this point, I'm confused (and rather annoyed since had I not called, I probably would have been waiting for a ride to never come) and asking what happened to them going to the station to meet me and he tells me they actually got a ride. I ask if their ride can come and help a girl out, but he told me their ride already left. Great. I decide I'll try to find a way to Little Tokyo on my own and hopefully find them there! I took the metro to Little Tokyo and as I was about to get off, I called his phone to let him know I'm there and wanted to plan a place to meet him and his friends.

No answers. A couple of calls go by and by the third call, it goes straight to his message! So I'm thinking, "Did this dude just turn his phone off on me knowing damn well I'm coming?!" So now I'm getting worried and calling hoping to hear "beeeeeep beeeeep," but instead immediately getting "Your call could not be completed blah blah blah."

Now I'm officially mad and begin looking for him and his friends. Two hours pass by and no luck. By this time I'm very upset and begin to cry out of frustration and eventually give up going home depressed.


I finally get home by nighttime and sent him a long private message/rant about how I seriously did not appreciate how today went, how it was utter bullshit and a waste of my time and money, how careless he handled it, and wtf happened to his phone (I assumed his phone actually died, but the night before, he actually ended our nightly conversation by saying his phone is dying. So his phone dying in the early afternoon sounded fishy! Female rage is a mother), and if that's how he's always going to be in our relationship, he should let me know so I should just leave and save ourselves from unnecessary stress.

We eventually worked it out. I'm not gonna lie, I felt like ending the relationship because it's so new and yet big bullshit like this occurred. At the same time, we're still new and I have the tendency to dump people unnecessarily so I at least wanted to give him another chance because I can't expect him to be perfect. But I did let him know that if crap like this happens again, I'm gone.


My question to you is, even though I already made my decision,
 how would you handle it and why?

The bolded lets me know that he is selfish, immature, inconsiderate, childish, & too attached to his friends.  The italicized lets me know that he is irresponsible, untrustworthy, A LIAR, and basically a no good niggga.  His phone did NOT DIE!!  Even if it did, he has 3 friends he was with, did all 3 of their phones die too???  GTFOH!   Plz forget about this loser

Edited by Bunnyahh - Jan 10 2011 at 6:00am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 5:57am
^^^^ Preach ClapClap
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:09am
Erm...lady please lose his number!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:15am
wow unbelievable...and you forgave him??? he clearly didn't want you to be there...maybe he's spending time with someone else?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:15am
You both sound pretty young.

To be honest, I get the vibe that the relationship is pretty one sided, your side.  If he cared about going anywhere with you, he would've made the effort to make sure that you were there.

I agree with officially breaking it off.  It's not worth it.

How I would've handled the situation?  I would've taken the train back home since I was at the train station anyway.  I do not know how to get to little Tokyo and he didn't even suggest that he wait somewhere for me to meet it.  That would've showed me just how much he cared.  In fact, he not even divulging specific information about the trip would've subtly told me that he was going with his friends and not with me.  His excuses for not doing so were lame IMO.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:15am
I would definitely assume those qualities in him had I not known him for so long, but the problem is he and I have history. And this move he pulled seeeriously contradicts his usual qualities. I'm not thinking everything I know of him is a farce because two years of that is too much work! But at the same time, where the hell did this crap come from? A week and 5 days into the relationship? Major cool points deduction! Ermm

Now I was also thinking, "well why didn't he have his friends just call me?" But then I thought, he probably didn't memorize my number. I asked him this, and he did confirm he doesn't know my number by memory just yet. I'm not mad about that, I don't even know his number by memory! So his phone dying prevented communication. That still does not excuse his earlier carelessness and I let him know that. I mean hell, he let me know the night before that his phone was dying, but when it's actually important, he doesn't tell me. His phone was still off long after I got home that night and he told me through his Wii that his charger is currently MIA. So the phone is still off. No bueno.

Like I said, I already asked him if this is what our relationship is going to consist of. He said no, but I'm just going see if my trust and respect for him can be gained back. I'll let him earn it back. He showed plenty of regret, but I want to see genuity through his actions, not words.

Also, I let him know to make up for my shittastic day, I'll be taking my own friends to Little Tokyo to have some fun (I NEED IT!) but I didn't bother to invite him. He seemed sad, but I don't care~
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:22am
Originally posted by candies candies wrote:

You both sound pretty young.

To be honest, I get the vibe that the relationship is pretty one sided, your side.  If he cared about going anywhere with you, he would've made the effort to make sure that you were there.

I agree with officially breaking it off.  It's not worth it.

How I would've handled the situation?  I would've taken the train back home since I was at the train station anyway.  I do not know how to get to little Tokyo and he didn't even suggest that he wait somewhere for me to meet it.  That would've showed me just how much he cared.  In fact, he not even divulging specific information about the trip would've subtly told me that he was going with his friends and not with me.  His excuses for not doing so were lame IMO.


I'm 19, he's 21.
Oh I knew from the start it was with friends, he invited me to come so we could all meet and have a good time. And yes, his excuses WERE lame. The guy I usually knew definitely wasn't the guy I was trying to meet that day!

I care for him and all, but he's not very experienced in relationships at all. Dead If anything, he rarely pursues them due to past heartbreaks and chicks cheating. Meh.

I don't want to be making excuses for him, but I'm just going to be nice and give one more chance. As I said before, if any stupid crap like this happens again, I'm gone. We did have a good heart to heart talk after I calmed down.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2011 at 6:29am
he left you stranded some place u were not use to going, something could have happened. no one i mean no one piced you up.  is that the type of man you want?  i can barely read that story, bc you gave him way to much credit
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