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NuAttitude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NuAttitude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:36pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

i would be crush if i was rejected sexually. i am a very sexual person and that's one way i feel real close to my s.o. 
that's why i test drive before i buy. i don't want to be in a situation where i am rejecting you or you're rejecting me. 




Exactly.  Saving it for marriage is a serious gamble.

My friend going thru this right now....she was celibate when she met her now-husband and they stayed celibate till marriage....her sex drive is nonexistent and he wants some everyday,so she calls me saying "hes selfish"....i fought the urge to remind her she called me a heathen for daring to tell her she better make sure they are sexually compatible b4 marriage as she threw bible verses in my face....oh well
(In Aunt Esther's voice....you old heathenLOL)Evil SmileWink
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NuAttitude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NuAttitude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:37pm
Originally posted by iSMILE13 iSMILE13 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wonder how the women would feel if the men were acting like this.....Id step out.....Im not even ton lie.....
this has happened to me before....I couldn't do it. I bounced...
I'd step out too!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 6:05pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 6:17pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

My ex used to always say she 'felt gross', and i never quite knew what the hell that meant. It wasn't in regards to sex, just in general. We'd be at the beach sitting in the sun and she'd look at her skin and say she felt gross. *shrugs* I should have asked.


I've had a discussion about this in a women's support group. It seemed like "I feel gross" (that phrase in particular) was a catch all for feeling ugly/uncomfortable in intimate situations. That even if individually you love yourself and how you look, once you're at the mercy of the judgment of another human you're intimate with all those internalized messages we receive as women about imperfections (stretchmarks, fat, wrong shape, too little boobs, less than flawless skin, etc.) come out as "I feel gross" with an underlying thought of well dude, you couldn't and shouldn't want me.

Though obvi, can't speak for your so. Just throwing it out there.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:04pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

this old gem

http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=302622&PN=1&title=im-in-a-sexless-marriage


*gets a cup of cider to sip n read*



(oh, I started that thread! lol)
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PurplePhase View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:06pm
I'm thanking in that thread like it's new lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:08pm
I'm team wife.

Your wife has been busy with life and hasn't been in the mood for sex. What have you done to get her mind off of her problems? Why do you feel like she owes you sex just because you asked?

Why the childish spreadsheet?

Obviously they had been compatible for some years and this just recently became a problem. People need to realize that marriage is suppose to be a permanent thing and you just don't quit on it because you were horny for a month. Learn to "self-love" and work on it until things get back to where they were.

I can't believe the entitlement people have. "How dare you not sex me when I want it and as often as I want it! I'm gonna go find someone else!" Sounds like manipulation to me.

This may be the reason why I'll be single forever. He won't miss his wife because they aren't having sex as often as he'd like? The only reason he values her presence is the potential for sex? I can't wrap my head around this life some of yall live.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:10pm
Afro, I see you mentioned the 'can't have frequent sex unless you don't have a job' theories in that Sexless Marriage thread too. Do you have a link for the thread where that was discussed, or do you need Diane to find it for you ? lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:15pm
I think it's bigger than just being rejected for sex...you're not communicating your wants and needs.  Feeling gross...that sh*t would get old with me fast.  If my SO is going through something then he needs to tell me like look, I'm stressed, I'm overworked right now, we probably won't be having much sex, but we are good and it will pass...or tell me what I'm doing wrong.  People are married but still coochiefooting around issues like theyre boyfriend and girlfriend. 

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:19pm
Originally posted by Samoneisthebest Samoneisthebest wrote:

I'm team wife.

Your wife has been busy with life and hasn't been in the mood for sex. What have you done to get her mind off of her problems? Why do you feel like she owes you sex just because you asked?

Why the childish spreadsheet?

Obviously they had been compatible for some years and this just recently became a problem. People need to realize that marriage is suppose to be a permanent thing and you just don't quit on it because you were horny for a month. Learn to "self-love" and work on it until things get back to where they were.

I can't believe the entitlement people have. "How dare you not sex me when I want it and as often as I want it! I'm gonna go find someone else!" Sounds like manipulation to me.

This may be the reason why I'll be single forever. He won't miss his wife because they aren't having sex as often as he'd like? The only reason he values her presence is the potential for sex? I can't wrap my head around this life some of yall live.

I think you're missing a good bit of his point.
I think the spreadsheet is childish but its not about him wanting sex on demand.
That's what you think sex means in a marriage?
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