Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Spreadsheet
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Perfect Hair Collection
 

Spreadsheet

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 910111213 24>




The Best Human Hair Available with No Service Match

Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 9 Votes, Average 3.22  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Samoneisthebest View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 34004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:33pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Originally posted by Samoneisthebest Samoneisthebest wrote:

I'm team wife.

Your wife has been busy with life and hasn't been in the mood for sex. What have you done to get her mind off of her problems? Why do you feel like she owes you sex just because you asked?

Why the childish spreadsheet?

Obviously they had been compatible for some years and this just recently became a problem. People need to realize that marriage is suppose to be a permanent thing and you just don't quit on it because you were horny for a month. Learn to "self-love" and work on it until things get back to where they were.

I can't believe the entitlement people have. "How dare you not sex me when I want it and as often as I want it! I'm gonna go find someone else!" Sounds like manipulation to me.

This may be the reason why I'll be single forever. He won't miss his wife because they aren't having sex as often as he'd like? The only reason he values her presence is the potential for sex? I can't wrap my head around this life some of yall live.

I think you're missing a good bit of his point.
I think the spreadsheet is childish but its not about him wanting sex on demand.
That's what you think sex means in a marriage?

The spreadsheet is about him being pissy about not having sex as often as he wants to. If he legitimately wanted to open communication about her "excuses" then he would be answering the phone.

Where did I outline what I think about sex in a marriage? I am discussing their situation in particular.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Samoneisthebest View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 34004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:36pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

I think it's bigger than just being rejected for sex...you're not communicating your wants and needs.  Feeling gross...that sh*t would get old with me fast.  If my SO is going through something then he needs to tell me like look, I'm stressed, I'm overworked right now, we probably won't be having much sex, but we are good and it will pass...or tell me what I'm doing wrong.  People are married but still coochiefooting around issues like theyre boyfriend and girlfriend. 

 

Neither one of them are communicating properly. But he took it upon himself to be a jack*ss about her lack of communication. It didn't need to go there. This could have been discussed in a mature manner.
Back to Top
jonesable View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 284445
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:36pm
I don't think it's an entitlement issue nor do I think he's going ignore his wife's phone calls forever.

He's frustrated as I would be if I were him.
I don't think things go as seamless as you think they do.

I don't know where you got that's the only reason he values her presence either.
Back to Top
Samoneisthebest View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 34004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:42pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think it's an entitlement issue nor do I think he's going ignore his wife's phone calls forever.

He's frustrated as I would be if I were him.
I don't think things go as seamless as you think they do.

I don't know where you got that's the only reason he values her presence either.

"I won't miss you"

In order to get her husband to miss her when she goes out of town, she needs to have sex with him. Because obviously there is no other reason to miss your wife.
Back to Top
Princess_S View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 14 2010
Location: Magic Carpet
Status: Offline
Points: 45219
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Princess_S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:45pm
Im pretty sure he didnt start this spreadsheet the first, second or third time or months she gave him one of her excuse. He was probably at his breaking point. He probably saw a pattern and most likely tried to speak to her about and she swept it under the rug like i see others are doing. It wasnt until he hit her with the straight facts (plain and in her face) she choose to respond. Then she tries to get sympathy by sharing it to the world.  
 
I'm normally team wife, team woman, team gf  in general but for some reason Im feeling team husband on this one.
Back to Top
Samoneisthebest View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 34004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:48pm
It sounds like you are saying its okay for him to poorly communicate and be a jack*ss to his wife because you would do the same.

I am aware of the emotion involved in relationship struggles. There still needs to be a level of maturity maintained on both sides.

The "I'm not talking to you" high school ish is not ever okay in my book. You be an adult and say "I need time to myself. We'll talk about it later"
Back to Top
ms_wonderland View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 05 2009
Location: TTT
Status: Offline
Points: 306210
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:51pm
So what is your advice to the wife before it got to this point?

The spreadsheet is just not that bad to me, probably because we all build spreadsheets in our heads in certain situations. 
Back to Top
Samoneisthebest View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 02 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 34004
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Samoneisthebest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:56pm
From what I see she probably hadn't even given the lack of sex a second thought until now because she's been so busy with other things going on in her life. Stress can f-up a sex drive. So there really isn't anything she could have done to stop this because she can't read minds.

But if she was intentionally avoiding sex (and was aware of doing it *not subconscious*) then she should have been open about it with her husband.
Back to Top
Junior Jr View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 26 2009
Location: ✡
Status: Offline
Points: 168322
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Junior Jr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:58pm
i'm 99% sure the spreadsheet was his last, desperate attempt of trying to have the convo with her...Brothas aren't making excel sheets out the blue

at least, that's what r/deadbedrooms says about spreadsheets

jr.
Back to Top
zolloh View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 03 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 58908
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote zolloh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 8:02pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

So what is your advice to the wife before it got to this point?

The spreadsheet is just not that bad to me, probably because we all build spreadsheets in our heads in certain situations. 
hmmm, some acting like they dont bring up a laundry list of old  fights/incidents to a new argument...at least  i do...so a list would work for me *shrugs*

the issue is why she shared that with the world even before she talked to her husband, other than the obvious feminist battle cry tears she wanted
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dime Curves Enhancement Shake
Dependable Quality Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 910111213 24>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down