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Someone Please Help Me

 
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 12:55am
Ruby, I just read some of your previous posts about your husband...

HE BRAINWASHED YOU.

The reason why I say this, is on your first post on the thread you named "my insane life":

Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

Now fast forward to last night my husband is out til 2am I try to talk to him about it and we get into a nasty fight. He tells me i dont make him happy anymore. He says he's gonna start doing me dirty. He tells me i have to shut up or he'll beat me up. I'm not allowed to ask him questions. He was really mean he tells me a perfect wife would only care about making him happy twenty four seven. I have been extremely depressed lately so i just hide away in a room so i don't bother him. He told me i cant do that if hes around i have to act happy even im miserable 247. He wants me to do whatever he says so then he tells me to do a certain thing even though im crying. Then he tells me to lay down with him and says to me i own you. You're mine i control you you do whatever i say.


You posted that on September 30th 2012, and here we are, early September 2013 and things seem to be getting worse.
Everybody gave you excellent advice, so please call the counselor and tell him/her everything that has been happening, get yourself on a women's shelter and start over. Your child is only a year old, your in-laws clearly don't care about your safety.

You mentioned your mother, can't you ask her to stay at her house? Does she live out-of-state?
Look up online women's shelters in your area.

Please don't give us another update a year from now telling us how he beat you and broke your nose or arm.....we just want you to be safe and live happy.
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foxyroy19 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote foxyroy19 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 1:14am
Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

Originally posted by foxyroy19 foxyroy19 wrote:


Get him in trouble?


When i was a teen i was molested i told my counselor by law she had to tell the police. He was arrested.
 
 
Please elaborate.  Your response does not make sense.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote yurika975 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 2:48am
Sadly OP is still worried about him getting in trouble. He is not spilling milk or breaking the cookie jar. The things he does to you he would go to jail for doing to anyone else. Just because you love him doesn't give him a free pass to harm you or anyone else. I hope that things eventually sink in. Just know that you are in danger as is the child. You need to document it. Sadly the judge always says oh where are the reports that he was abusive. Then you wish you had told. One day you will get sick of it. Just hope it's not after he has severely hurt you or the child.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 2:59am
Brainwashed is the right term.. this man has her thinking she really is as worthless as he makes her feel and that he is what "she deserves."

Abuse is such a sad thing.. And so many victims have everyone in their life telling them to leave but only stay until it's too late and get killed.

I wish you well, OP. I hope you'll break this cycle. Stop being okay with this. Even if you don't like the abuse, you're tolerant of it enough to stay by his side.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 3:05am
Ruby, a long time ago, I made a thread on abuse that features information and hotline numbers in helping you escape that situation.

If you need such information in getting help and leaving, it's here waiting for you, okay?

The mods refuse to sticky it so if it gets lost in pages, just bookmark it for future reference. If that's too risky, just message me, I'll send it to you.

Situations like these are exactly why I made that thread. Abuse is real.

Edited by Midna - Sep 09 2013 at 3:15am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote Fraiche2Death Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 3:29am
She didn't say anything that isn't true. Lots of us are bothered seeing that you come and repeat the same thing over & over. At this point you aren't asking for advice, just updating. Basically there is no more advice to give. You already know what to do. People are gonna feel how they feel it's a public forum. And Gk is right you've got more important sh*t to do than clap back at comments you don't like. You've got a kid caught up in this f*ckery and you make excuses (in my opinion) for all the things you won't do. No matter how much you say you love your kid he doesn't come first obviously. Your man & your feelings do. Just....nvm. Unhappy

Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

I respect your response. I didn't respect hers because i don't get why she was so bothered by me asking for advice and support from a site for black women that ivve been on for years. Maybe she came from a great family with awesome friends but unfortunately i didn't. So reaching out to bhm appears to be my best option

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

Originally posted by katakana89 katakana89 wrote:

I honestly can't see how BHM is gonna magically help you out if been in this situation for years and updating the site every year with the same information.


I honestly can't see the point of you commenting. You must be bored


Whatever ballsiness u used to respond to her in this way use to leave what ever situation ur suppose to be in.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote DiorShowGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 4:04am
Originally posted by Fraiche2Death Fraiche2Death wrote:

She didn't say anything that isn't true. Lots of us are bothered seeing that you come and repeat the same thing over & over. At this point you aren't asking for advice, just updating. Basically there is no more advice to give. You already know what to do. People are gonna feel how they feel it's a public forum. And Gk is right you've got more important sh*t to do than clap back at comments you don't like. You've got a kid caught up in this f*ckery and you make excuses (in my opinion) for all the things you won't do. No matter how much you say you love your kid he doesn't come first obviously. Your man & your feelings do. Just....nvm. Unhappy

Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

I respect your response. I didn't respect hers because i don't get why she was so bothered by me asking for advice and support from a site for black women that ivve been on for years. Maybe she came from a great family with awesome friends but unfortunately i didn't. So reaching out to bhm appears to be my best option

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

Originally posted by katakana89 katakana89 wrote:

I honestly can't see how BHM is gonna magically help you out if been in this situation for years and updating the site every year with the same information.


I honestly can't see the point of you commenting. You must be bored


Whatever ballsiness u used to respond to her in this way use to leave what ever situation ur suppose to be in.




i guess its easy for her to respond to katakana like that cause Ruby is sitting behind a computer and can react like that...if she responded to her husband like that like she did here she would prob get slapped in the face and then some...
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tropical-punch View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote tropical-punch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 5:26am
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

you have a boy so he will def grow up to be a woman beater
Definitely? No he won't definitely grow up to be violent.Sleepy
he will if he watches his dad beat up his mom.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 5:33am
OP wouldn't know what to do with a man that treated her right.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote zsazsa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2013 at 3:10pm
Maybe the board is the only place she has to talk about this. Abuse is so complex and of course we on the outside want her to leave right now but for some women, it takes time. Even if she comes back next year with the same problem, she should feel she is able to post. Those who want to respond and help, will. Abuse leaves you isolated and that's exactly what the abuser wants. Let this be a place where she tries to find herself. However long it takes her. It's extremely upsetting and even more so because there is a baby in this messed up dynamic. So I do understand the frustration. That frustration is what made me sit this one out yesterday. 

Some women just don't make it out. But don't silence them. 


Edited by zsazsa - Sep 09 2013 at 3:59pm
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