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solange knowles attacks jay-z in elevator

 
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bunzaveli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 6:53am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

The very next thing I said was, “what did Jay do to make Solange wild out like that?!” and that is where I was wrong. Wondering what was going on in the situation is a normal response for any nosey ass person like myself. Wondering what Jay did to elicit such a response is where I was not being a very good feminist. That is nothing less than victim blaming and I know better than that. Nothing Jay did justifies her putting her hands on him. She is responsible for how she reacts to every situation. There were a myriad of possibilities available to her. She chose to act violently and that is not ok.

funny thing  is victim blaming, relationship violence,etc are concepts and principled i learned on bhm, thank you bhm you made me better .



its always fascinating when i see all that thrown out the window for whatever reason.
why must i cry


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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 7:20am
Innit though bruv?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Cocoa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 9:28am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

crunkfeministcollective



Earlier this week, TMZ released the now infamous elevator video of Solange going HAM on Jay Z. The responses have been swift and the memes have been hilarious. I’m a let y’all finish but, there are a few things missing from the conversation.

First of all, Solange was dead wrong. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a huge Solange fan. She’s my favorite little sister in the history of celebrity little sisters. I’ve always appreciated her spunk and her fighter spirit. Real talk, I always liked that there was a possibility that she might haul off and slap somebody. Hell, I might haul off and slap somebody, so I appreciated that connection. However as a feminist, the fact that she actually did haul off and slap somebody, namely Jay Z, is not okay. I, like most feminist, am against relational violence in all its forms and if we are to take a serious stance against relational violence, we have to be more diligent about finding it in unexpected places and amongst unusual suspects. Now I get that this doesn’t look the way that relational violence normally looks so it may be harder to identify it. But, the truth of the matter is that sometimes women are violent. Violence isn’t always a man hitting a woman or even a man hitting another man. Relational violence isn’t always with someone who you are in an intimate relationship with. It can take many forms. Brothers and sisters fight, mothers and daughters fight, cousins fight and in this case in-laws were fighting (well Solange was). The point is, this is a moment of relational violence and we have to see it as such.

We also need to be really careful about our reactions to this video. When I saw the video my initial response was “yo, what the hell is going on?” The very next thing I said was, “what did Jay do to make Solange wild out like that?!” and that is where I was wrong. Wondering what was going on in the situation is a normal response for any nosey ass person like myself. Wondering what Jay did to elicit such a response is where I was not being a very good feminist. That is nothing less than victim blaming and I know better than that. Nothing Jay did justifies her putting her hands on him. She is responsible for how she reacts to every situation. There were a myriad of possibilities available to her. She chose to act violently and that is not ok.

The second point I want to make is that Jay Z actually exemplifies what a man defending himself from the attacks of a woman can look like. After Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna, many men came to his defense and justified his attack by saying, “if she comes at me like a man, I’m a beat her down like man.” This language works to equate physical attacks on men to attacks on masculinity and therefore, evokes a hypermasculine response to such attacks. Now, we know that masculinity is fragile as hell but, I do think this actually does a disservice to men by making them seem like flat, uncomplicated beings who have to respond in such demeaning ways. What Jay Z showed is that it actually doesn’t take all that for a man to stop a woman from attacking him. He too had a myriad of choices available to him. He chose to block his body, grab her foot and put it down, and push her back from his personal space. Let me be clear is saying that this was not an example of him turning the other cheek. What it is an example of is someone who did not feel the need to defend his masculinity in a way that pulled him into participation.

My third and final point is about the Queen Bey. Now y’all can say what y’all want about her seeming lack of participation in the fight, but what I saw Beyonce doing was exemplifying some of the core tenets of black feminism 101—self-care and self-definition. First, let me say that Beyonce’s response felt very familiar to me. As a child, my older brother and I would throw down fighting while mother calmly read the newspaper, painted her nails, did her makeup, etc. When we would come rolling by her she would quietly move her feet out of the way and continue to mind her damn business. Now, we did get reprimanded after we finished the fight, but she gave no *&%^$#@Es during throw down. And you know why? Because, breaking up other people’s sh*t is exhausting! Not breaking up other people’s sh*t is self-care! Additionally, the conversation about where her loyalties lie is nothing more than our desires to define Beyonce. But let me remind us that black feminism demands that we allow people to be self-definitional. That means that Beyonce gets to not choose sides and that’s ok. Beyonce gets to define herself, define her boundaries, and define when and where she enters. Y’all can say that smile she was rocking when she got off the elevator was her trying to look perfect all the time, but that looks like a self-care/self-defining smile to me!

So, I’m not going to suggest that you stop participating in the hoopla. Hell, I’m about to search some gossip sites as soon as I finish this post. I’m just asking that we don’t throw away our feminism while we do so. Happy hunting!




Didnt read!!

Im seriously SMH at this Solonge thing right now....  People are mosting...
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 10:14am
don't agree with her last point.  It's actually perplexing.. The rest, I can understand.
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Diane (35) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane (35) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 10:48am
That post of afro's was alll him and bunz were trying to say from the jump and the few women who were saying that too as well the keep your hands to yourself crew. LOLs It was very interesting to watch them being dismissed and the numerous theories as to what he did and why solo was justified etc etc................... ahhhhhhh BHM

Bunz "dont ban me bro" said : funny thing  is victim blaming, relationship violence,etc are concepts and principled i learned on bhm, thank you bhm you made me better . 

its always fascinating when i see all that thrown out the window for whatever reason.
why must i cry

iHollared!Big smile
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 10:56am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i don't agree with her assessment of Beyonce in the video...i do to an extent.  i believe that Beyonce has an admirable level of self control and awareness, but i don't think that's what defined her behavior in the video.


I have decided that Beyonce condoned that beat down because she was also pissed at Jay and didn't want to be the one to take it there.  She wasn't mad tho
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 11:00am
But Diane bunz and afro are OD like all the women on the forum suddenly said Solange was fully justified and Jay deserved it.  MOST didn't say that and that is conveniently ignored because a few maybe did.  I personally cannot stand Jay but Solange was wrong.  Hitting ppl in anger is ALWAYS wrong.  I think they are just annoyed that nobody cried for JayCryCryCryCry but like wonder said for me that would be like crying for the racist yt boy who got knocked the fck out by the black dude.  I'm as tapped out for Jay as I was for himStern Smile
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 11:02am
FTR if that was Kelis kicking NAS that bish would get chopped and fried.  The boys are not considering that the victim in this scenario is a pieces of sh*t woman hating poser.

And Solange was STILL wrong. 

ETA:  And y'all (afro & bunz) just clowning trying to make Jay the poster boy for violence against men.  Y'all don't like dat niccah eva.  i see whatchu doin' LOL


Edited by kfoxx1998 - May 16 2014 at 11:04am
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carolina cutie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 11:09am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

FTR if that was Kelis kicking NAS that bish would get chopped and fried.  The boys are not considering that the victim in this scenario is a pieces of sh*t woman hating poser.

And Solange was STILL wrong. 

ETA:  And y'all (afro & bunz) just clowning trying to make Jay the poster boy for violence against men.  Y'all don't like dat niccah eva.  i see whatchu doin' LOL
Alladis.LOL

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Diane (35) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane (35) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 16 2014 at 11:12am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

But Diane bunz and afro are OD like all the women on the forum suddenly said Solange was fully justified and Jay deserved it.  MOST didn't say that and that is conveniently ignored because a few maybe did.  I personally cannot stand Jay but Solange was wrong.  Hitting ppl in anger is ALWAYS wrong.  I think they are just annoyed that nobody cried for JayCryCryCryCry but like wonder said for me that would be like crying for the racist yt boy who got knocked the fck out by the black dude.  I'm as tapped out for Jay as I was for himStern Smile

Hey Kfoxx. i don't believe they were saying all/most just pointing out the flaw in thinking along those line. Yes hitting people is wrong then jay = victim and solo= aggressor regardless of words/things said or done to provoke her that's it. naah that cant be it bunz likes jay afro cant stand the fellow.

At the underlined who? I get it, but i never saw that video.

Wonder i've seen men get slaughtered (in public) by women and usually i just see them "walk her out" meaning shes going HAM and he's talking blows and she cursing him dog rotten but he's walking away to let her cool off, tire her out. Some Jamaican women are dangerous like that! Yes domestically violence victims much much more frequently women. 

ETA Wait, what? Wouldn't we also classify Nas as a woman hater too? No sah i dont think it would have panned out like that if it were nas and kelis.  So the identity, past history of the victim matters in order to be called a "victim" and/or effs to be given? I'm going on the road, later


Edited by Diane (35) - May 16 2014 at 11:18am
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