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Topic ClosedSo theres this guy right.... lol

 
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MZSimone View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: So theres this guy right.... lol
    Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 3:04am

Yeah basically i really like this guy but i'm not sure if i should be with him... we're both very young (18) but so different yet similar lol,let me break down the situation for you.

He's a rapper and lives in ATL (he's not really famous, but he travels a lot all the time he's in a different city like 3/4 of the month usually)
 
We met in February after the grammys we had a mutual friend and me and my girls went to hang out with him and his friends.
 
After that we just hung out every time he was in L.A. which was about once a month(for a few days at a time) or so, and i have been to ATL before and hung out with him for like 5 days
 
Previously we talked on the phone and via email every single day, but due to me being busy in college and him changing phone numbers because of his fans, we haven't been in constant contact lately.
 
What i like about him is the fact he's really shy, laid back, and very sweet and caring. i stayed over his house before and he was so polite and courteous, we didn't do squat and have never done squat (not even kiss, its crazy) and he has never asked nor tried, yet he turns to me about his family life, when he's stressed and all that good stuffLOL
 
What i don't like about him is how different he is from me. Education is my priority and he really respects that but he's not interested in college right now, also he's not a thug at all, but he wears baggy clothing and has braids were i dress very conservative/glam. We just look so opposite,my mom would die and be like "Trinity, dating a thug??What!!!" Not saying anythings wrong with that, it just doesnt seem like me, thats all. Also there's soooo many chicks that like him, its ridiculous, i can't be naive and act like i'm the only chick he talks to, although i do think he's feeling me the most by what his boys tell me and how he usually calls me randomly when he's with him family versus all the other chicks he could be calling, he always makes sure he tries and call me everynight before he goes to bed.
 
The distance factor is manageble i suppose, i'll be in ATL over Christmas break, and for the whole summer so we'll get to hang out. But also even though for some odd reason some people equate pretty with being fast, i'm still a virgin, i just alwyas wanted to save myself for marraige and i think he can accept that...i hope he can, he knows and everything but like i said we havent even kissed yet.. But idk i'm confused i like him a lot but for some reason i just don't think we can be togetherCry
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dynamite23 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 6:48am

I don't believe it's going to work out because from what you say you both have different priorities in life, the distance is another thing, also can you deal with the number of females trying to get at him? Sure you can talk to him about almost anything but if you're looking for a boyfriend he's just doesn't seem like the way to go

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 9:06am
Be true to yourself honey, everything from you two being in different places in life to having different priorities are red flags. There is nothing wrong with just being friends with a guy even though you are attracted to him and dig his personality.  He sounds like he would be a good friend and that's all.
 
 If you seek God first He will direct your path. Focus on your schoolwork and your relationship with the Lord. I wish I could go back in time and do 18 over agian. If I would have done those two things I would have spared myself a lot of heart ache and missed oppurtunities.
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 9:23am
IF ITS MEANT TO BE EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR THE GOOD
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 9:35am
most important thing to do is stay real with yourself. not sayin it's impossible to work out, but if you have to do ALL the compromising & making changes, it won't turn out well in the end.
 
you're young so stay focused. there's nothin wrong with ya'll bein good friends for now. PLUS you really need to consider his current lifestyle: are you HONESTLY gonna be comfortable w/ all the chics & groupie types?Ermm just bc he's not major doesn't mean the local chics in the clubs arent gonna be jockin & boppin hopin they'll be around if/when he blows up? you really need to consider that bc its part of the game
 
and to your point on the fashion, who gives a shyt! as long as you like how he dresses. personally, i dress more like you...more glam/Old Navy-ish but MOST of the dudes i date have more "thug" appeal. you say he's NOT a thug so that's ok....just as long as he don't act a fool in public that's ok
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 10:01am
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED!
 
Why do i say that?
1. You're young. So you should causally date someone that you KNOW isn't going anywhere. I was like you at that age and i dated men from ALL walks of life. From those experiences, i learned a lot about myself and what I liked in men. Now, that i'm older, I can honestly say that I know what type of man I want and would be a good husband for me.
 
2. You're in college, so of course you want to have male company but NOT enough to get you off your game. I can't tell how many girls get caught up in dudes in college and lose focus. These women end up barely graduating cause their chasing a ring, don't graduate at all, or get pregnant. Not a good look. You want to have a great college experience, be active in different clubs, orgs, study abroad, intern, etc...not think about all the time you wasted over some dude, come on now?!?!
 
3. His "life". This guy is a prefect candidate for a part-time boo. You can see him on occassion and still maintain your regular life. Im slacks, caradigans, and pearls all day, everyday....so the "Deshawns and Debos" of world needed to be kept at bay. I can't be losing the "parental financial aid" because they found out i was dating a trap star. lol... And because he's a rapper he can probably get you and friends into some great parties in ATL. And realisticly...his ability to maintain a committed relantionship at 18 AND being a rapper is very small.<<<Please don't be that naive.
 
I say live this up honey. And remember to keep everything causal.  
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 11:16am
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED!
 
Why do i say that?
1. You're young. So you should causally date someone that you KNOW isn't going anywhere. I was like you at that age and i dated men from ALL walks of life. From those experiences, i learned a lot about myself and what I liked in men. Now, that i'm older, I can honestly say that I know what type of man I want and would be a good husband for me.
 
2. You're in college, so of course you want to have male company but NOT enough to get you off your game. I can't tell how many girls get caught up in dudes in college and lose focus. These women end up barely graduating cause their chasing a ring, don't graduate at all, or get pregnant. Not a good look. You want to have a great college experience, be active in different clubs, orgs, study abroad, intern, etc...not think about all the time you wasted over some dude, come on now?!?!
 
3. His "life". This guy is a prefect candidate for a part-time boo. You can see him on occassion and still maintain your regular life. Im slacks, caradigans, and pearls all day, everyday....so the "Deshawns and Debos" of world needed to be kept at bay. I can't be losing the "parental financial aid" because they found out i was dating a trap star. lol... And because he's a rapper he can probably get you and friends into some great parties in ATL. And realisticly...his ability to maintain a committed relantionship at 18 AND being a rapper is very small.<<<Please don't be that naive.
 
I say live this up honey. And remember to keep everything causal.  
 
Clap very well said....as usualBig%20smile...but especially the bolded!! man, when i was 17ish to like 25ish i ran into some celeb & those types. they had me & my girls @ some of the best parties & clubs...i just looked @ those pics last weekend....man hold up!LOL
 
so live it up!! and remember: always have a cameraWink
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 4:11pm
lol nobody asked? well here i go ;
what's his rap name?
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MZSimone View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 7:31pm

Lol i'm not gonna reveal his name because like i said, he's not super famous, but people definitly know who he is, i posted pics of me one time and he was in 2 of them and people replied saying "Isn't that _______!?!?" i got like 3 reponses lol so i just took it down. I understand all your points very clearly. He's just not typical at all, he's very quiet and keeps to himself, he got that deep country hospitality lol, very respectful and sweet, and its not "game" unlikes most boys, its actually authentic.

And to be honest i'm not really worried about all the chicks that like him because he is really cute and i know for a fact he aint checking for a good 95% of them at least because when i'm with him, girls will be on myspace and text complaining as to why he never talks to them.And i mean most of them aint about nothing really, i'm 18, about to finish at an Ivy League college, have my own business and i write music on the side so he's a dumbass if he messes up lmao. However a guy is a guy, and their frontal lobes take time to develop lol i'm knowing.

I just can't help but feel that even though we like eachother we just aint meant to be, but i'll let things play out as they may. He's coming to visit November 22nd, hopefully we'll get a chance to talk and stuff. I'm hoping.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 11:46pm
Originally posted by MZSimone MZSimone wrote:

Lol i'm not gonna reveal his name because like i said, he's not super famous, but people definitly know who he is, i posted pics of me one time and he was in 2 of them and people replied saying "Isn't that _______!?!?" i got like 3 reponses lol so i just took it down. I understand all your points very clearly. He's just not typical at all, he's very quiet and keeps to himself, he got that deep country hospitality lol, very respectful and sweet, and its not "game" unlikes most boys, its actually authentic.

And to be honest i'm not really worried about all the chicks that like him because he is really cute and i know for a fact he aint checking for a good 95% of them at least because when i'm with him, girls will be on myspace and text complaining as to why he never talks to them.And i mean most of them aint about nothing really, i'm 18, about to finish at an Ivy League college, have my own business and i write music on the side so he's a dumbass if he messes up lmao. However a guy is a guy, and their frontal lobes take time to develop lol i'm knowing.

I just can't help but feel that even though we like eachother we just aint meant to be, but i'll let things play out as they may. He's coming to visit November 22nd, hopefully we'll get a chance to talk and stuff. I'm hoping.

 
Get it mama!!! You are doing your thing at a young ageClapClap and you are absolutely right, he would be the fool if he messed things up!!!! Im dealing with this guy in ATL in the same industry but he doesn't rap and its a similar situation (he's not a celebrity per se, but ppl definatley know who he is and who his family is) so i never mention names or post pics, and you are doing the right thing as well in that aspect. My advice would be to stay focused on your goals and vision, and if things are really meant to work out God will allow it to happen!
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