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So my feelings are kind of HURT!

 
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laredbaby View Drop Down
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    Posted: Nov 14 2012 at 7:31pm
Heres my story.
In the begging this man tried to get at me, but I was not having it (he says that I was really rude and mean at this time) because I was "talking" to somebody else at the time. I like to keep my focus on one person at a time. But once that relationship ended I allowed HIM the time of day. He actually was really funny and nice. I grew to like him. We literally would spend whole days together hardly ever apart. A couple of months pass. Then the first time we had sex it was on my birthday. And girllll I can i preach to the choir and say that was the BEST sex I ever had in my life! Big smile lol But we had a falling out and I totally deleted him from my life. I told him that you messed up and Im not fu**ing with you anymore. I was so serious. When he would call I did not answer. Deleted his phone number, unfollowed off of social networks, when he would send me text i would delete them with the quickness. This happened for about three months. 


Then one day he texted me and I actually answered. He asked me to come over I did and we had   a long talk about our feelings. He told me that he never had to wait so long to have sex with anybody and actually respected me not just as a person but also as a women. Then he never actually been ignored by a woman like at either. He apologize for being a liar. I asked him why did you hit me up he said that he "actually caught feelings for me and missed me and that I was damn near perfect." So from then on we became connected to the hip again. Smile

What should have been a red flag was when he told me he didnt want to have sex anymore because he does not like to lead women on. I gave that what in the hell look and asked are you having sex with anybody else and do you feel like your leading me one. Of course he said no, but that no sex lasted a whooping 10 days. LOL

Yesterday he asked me if I could see myself living with him? I said not right now were both still young, but in the future if were still together i dont see why not. 

You could have though I cussed his behind out at the way he reacted!! He cocked his head back and said "Together?! Wait what do you mean by together" I told him that were not boyfriend and girlfriend but I feel like were working up to that. We are only having sex with each other no body else, we really like each other, and we care a lot about each other. Then he told me "well just to let you know Im single and were not together". I was so upset I got up and I left. 

Then today I took him to the car part store because I did promised him I would help. The car ride to the store was kind of funny you could tell he was uncomfortable. On the way back to his place he asked me to hang out with him for a while. I did. He kept trying to cheer me up. I wear my emotions on my face so you could tell I was still pissed. 


Im just a little confused as to how he could tell me he cares for me, does not want me to talk to any other men, and we spend all this time together but does not to be "together" . 
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TOUSHA11 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote TOUSHA11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 14 2012 at 7:48pm
I do not get exactly what you are expecting from this relationship or friendship or whatever. If you wanna be WITH him he does not want to commit then only thing you doing is setting yourself up for heartbreak. If you gone wait around waiting for him to make up his mind then that is up too you but you need to just find someone who wants what you want too. The reason he can tell you these things is because he thinks you will fall for then he wants his CAKE AND EAT IT TOO do not be a FOOL.  Good luck 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 14 2012 at 11:05pm
OP, you might as well go back to ignoring that man because he's only willing to string you along for sex. I was cheering when you were gung ho on cutting that man off.

He has already shown and told you that despite all the emotional bonding, he has not committed to you. The longer he bullshits you and somehow has you staying around, the more bs he's gonna do without fear that you're going to disappear.

By cutting him off and being strict with it, you surprised him because he wasn't used to that in a woman. But now this man is back to banging you and emotionally bullshitting you and here you stay. So now you're like the other women I wouldn't doubt he has and is doing this to.

Cut him off, hun. You're not a plaything to be strung along.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote laredbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 14 2012 at 11:40pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

OP, you might as well go back to ignoring that man because he's only willing to string you along for sex. I was cheering when you were gung ho on cutting that man off.

He has already shown and told you that despite all the emotional bonding, he has not committed to you. The longer he bullshits you and somehow has you staying around, the more bs he's gonna do without fear that you're going to disappear.

By cutting him off and being strict with it, you surprised him because he wasn't used to that in a woman. But now this man is back to banging you and emotionally bullshitting you and here you stay. So now you're like the other women I wouldn't doubt he has and is doing this to.

Cut him off, hun. You're not a plaything to be strung along.




You're so right about me not being a plaything. I need to cut him off and NOT allow him back in my life after I cut him off. I need to regrow my back bone.
I just hate the feeling of wasted time. Oh well more time to focus on mysel & my studies.

Thanks!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 2:31am
You were right, the "not leading you on" comment was a HUGE red flag.

Respect his being upfront with you, but keep it moving.

If he knows what you want, which is a relationship eventually, and he's not open to giving that to you he is not only being unfair to you, but you would be setting yourself up for failure. If you continue to spend time with him, you're just going to get more attached to a man who is not willing to commit to you.

He sound immature and unsure anyway. What man asks someone he just wants to kick it with ANYTHING about living together?

Girl, run for the hills cuz this has disaster written all over it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 6:28am
you did something to him when you cut him off..he isn't going to allow you to do that to him again. he sees how you roll and he isn't going to allow himself to get serious with you because of the type of power you have over him...his way of maintaining the upper hand is by stringing you along. It is his revenge to grow his ego back after you stepped on it with that three month sabbatical. now he has you where you had him..caught up in an emotional rollercoaster. get ghost but this time stay gone
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote laredbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 4:14pm
@shadylady girl in currently running! Fast! Yeah as soon as he made that comment I should had just broke it off with him and kept it moving. I don't understand either why he would mention the notion of living together (mind you that was the second time he brought that up) honestly I don't even care to figure it out.

@khivey I never took that mans ego in to consideration. And I never thought about him trying to get back revenge on me. I'm the type of person if you mess with me I'll just completely leave you alone I don't ever try to get back at anybody. I feel like that's a waste of time & energy. Thanks for your input. I really never thought about it like that.
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Becky View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 5:27pm
My cardinal rule is ... once you break up with someone .. NEVER go back. Never.
 
There was A REASON you split in the beginning but once you let him back in ... it justs gets all messy and confusing - causes you hurt and upset and it doesn't work out anyway. So what was the point?
 
You should have stayed away. 
 
I say, cut him COMPELTELY out of your life and move on. He already told you he did not want a commitment .. so then really you are just being strung along.
 
Don't let yourself fall for him .. and a year from now we are gonna have to hear some sob story about how he's treating you bad and won't move out.
 
Noooo it's already starting off bad and typically such things  .. only get WORSE.  So get out while you still have a normal life a chance with a decent a guy that WILL make a commitment with you.
 
(I can tell you of many women that stay tied to such men .. missed their chances to have a baby.. aged out and in the  end .. the guy dumped them anyway.) Ouch 
 
Lesson number 2 .. don't waste time with the wrong guy. The only thing worse than staying with the wrong guy for (X) years ... is staying with the wrong guy for (X) years and 1 DAY!


Edited by Becky - Nov 15 2012 at 5:46pm
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 5:36pm
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

you did something to him when you cut him off..he isn't going to allow you to do that to him again. he sees how you roll and he isn't going to allow himself to get serious with you because of the type of power you have over him...his way of maintaining the upper hand is by stringing you along. It is his revenge to grow his ego back after you stepped on it with that three month sabbatical. now he has you where you had him..caught up in an emotional rollercoaster. get ghost but this time stay gone


Makes sense, makes sense!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AffirmativeBunny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 7:08pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

OP, you might as well go back to ignoring that man because he's only willing to string you along for sex. I was cheering when you were gung ho on cutting that man off.

He has already shown and told you that despite all the emotional bonding, he has not committed to you. The longer he bullshits you and somehow has you staying around, the more bs he's gonna do without fear that you're going to disappear.

By cutting him off and being strict with it, you surprised him because he wasn't used to that in a woman. But now this man is back to banging you and emotionally bullshitting you and here you stay. So now you're like the other women I wouldn't doubt he has and is doing this to.

Cut him off, hun. You're not a plaything to be strung along.
ALL of this!
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