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Should Weight Be a Dealbreaker?

 
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Princess Grace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:34am
Originally posted by K_Camille K_Camille wrote:

Only thing I disagree with is you clowning someone you call a friend so easily.  The Resputia comment was messed up.  It's almost as if you don't care one way or another and the situation is entertainment for you.  To answer the OP, I don't think you're wrong for wanting to encourage her to lose weight and I do think weight can be a deal breaker when the attraction fades because of it.  I just think maybe you could have approached the situation differently.  I get you have a bold personality & hell, I ain't mad at you for it but maybe reconsider how you approach things with her if you still want to help her.

I didnt approach the situation at all. We have talked privately about her weight struggles. I even suggested she was depressed, so yeah if you already depressed situps is not your priority. The restaurant was not the place to even discuss it. I thought we were keeping it light, talking about kids, Essie polish and whatnot. 

For example, I called her on Monday and asked what she was doing she said sitting here eating porkrinds. I didnt pull up a shade, try and do a read I was just like oh. I went on to tell her I had her kettlebell I promised to pick up, and we changed the subject. 
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:40am
Princess, when I reference your approach, I'm mainly referring to how you addressed the issue to BHM.  It didn't come across as friendly when you described her and discuss the situation.  

I'm glad you don't make those type of remarks to her in person and are more encouraging IRL.  If she's depressed, she may need to see a therapist, only thing you can do as a friend is listen and encourage her *which you seem to be doing from what you said in the post above*.  
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Princess Grace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:56am
Originally posted by K_Camille K_Camille wrote:

Princess, when I reference your approach, I'm mainly referring to how you addressed the issue to BHM.  It didn't come across as friendly when you described her and discuss the situation.  

I'm glad you don't make those type of remarks to her in person and are more encouraging IRL.  If she's depressed, she may need to see a therapist, only thing you can do as a friend is listen and encourage her *which you seem to be doing from what you said in the post above*.  

Maybe I worded it not in the best way, I was slightly pissed after the lunch. Not because of the whole weight being a issue but one of them I talk to on a regular basis has made comments about her weight to me. I was living down south so I really had no clue of what was going on here except for bits and pieces. For them to sit there and act like "Screw working out" but you asking about diet pills and was telling me about a bootcamp class you go to is wrong. 

I can tell she is depressed, I suggested my therapist. I told her sometimes working out makes you feel better but if you feel like you need to talk to someone or need meds then you do what you have to so you can be happy.

Yes I am sarcastic but I do know there is a time and place for the FULL Grace experience. Just like I would tell a friend if she asked about a weave install. Hell we went out one time and I used some tape and my closure started lifting , she told me. We still laugh about it. 


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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 11:38am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:


Maybe I worded it not in the best way, I was slightly pissed after the lunch. Not because of the whole weight being a issue but one of them I talk to on a regular basis has made comments about her weight to me. I was living down south so I really had no clue of what was going on here except for bits and pieces. For them to sit there and act like "Screw working out" but you asking about diet pills and was telling me about a bootcamp class you go to is wrong. 

I can tell she is depressed, I suggested my therapist. I told her sometimes working out makes you feel better but if you feel like you need to talk to someone or need meds then you do what you have to so you can be happy.

Yes I am sarcastic but I do know there is a time and place for the FULL Grace experience. Just like I would tell a friend if she asked about a weave install. Hell we went out one time and I used some tape and my closure started lifting , she told me. We still laugh about it. 



Wow.  They sound like hypocrites who lack drive. 

LOL @ the bolded. I like your spirit.  I ain't mad at ya! 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote slykitten Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 9:59pm
Well, I finished reading this whole thread (mainly because I wanted to comment and I find it irritating when people comment that obviously haven't read what was going on).  At the end, I can't feel too bad for the friend.  Not because of the weight, even though I don't really understand how that much weight could be gained, but because she had the chance to marry him and she CHOSE not too.  I'm sure deep down she didn't feel like they were the right fit for each other.  Why else would she say for them to wait until she loses weight, only to go ahead and go up more sizes?

Has anyone thought that perhaps the weight wasn't the huge issue with him?  Maybe he really wanted to be married and saw that she wasn't doing anything to move towards that happening.  Maybe he bought the treadmill thinking they could set a date faster that way.  And then when that didn't happen, the resentment and disappointment built up, he fell out of love, noticed her "flaw" more and peaced out to get engaged to someone who showed that they wanted a marriage with him.

Just my thoughts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:03pm
Originally posted by K_Camille K_Camille wrote:

Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:



K Camille she didn't call her friend that. The thief stealing the milk called the cow Rasputia. OP only repeated what the thief said. I'm team OP. I would want my friend to tell me if I looked a hot mess then we would join forces and all work out together. I'm team happy home.

I haven't read all the pages in depth but it sounded like OP called her Rasputia in the thread as a joke.  IMO, the way she did it, was like she agreed with the sentiment and thought it was funny hence she repeated it and later informed us the bf said it?  I'm not against OP; I find her likable but I think the manner in which she discussed her "friend" was not at all friend-like, it seemed to be more for entertainment.  The way she describes her friend doesn't sound like something you should say about someone you call a friend, but a random person on the street or someone you don't like.  She's not wrong for wanting her friend to lose weight and voicing it but I think it's OP's approach when she brought it to BHM. It's like the topic is an issue but the only purpose is as a joke and entertainment. 

I agree with this
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bindy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bindy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:17pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:19pm
Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:




"I woke up like dissss"



Edited by eanaj5 - Jan 07 2014 at 10:20pm
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QueenBee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote QueenBee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:29pm
Damn, 57 pages....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote yaya24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:40pm
Wow 57 pages-Did.not.read.-

Yes weight can be a dealbreaker. This goes for men & women. Depends on the couples situation...

From a 12 to a 22 is a huge difference. Shocked
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