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Should Weight Be a Dealbreaker?

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:06am
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

Man she missed out on her wedding/marriage opportunity. She should've said yes at that time and had a wedding later while riding hard on that Nordic track. I feel bad for her...really I do but this is something she had control on and it was in her hands and power to do so. I guess the guy just got tired and thought she would get even bigger.

Princess is right she really needed to work on herself 1st. She sounds depressed.

If I were her I would pick my big self up and hit the gym, weights and everything and hope and pray I run into my ex and he sees the new me in my size 36-25-40. How can you be with someone for 13 years and not be married? I no understand mami. I guess its a culture thing cos Nigerians I know are not engaged for more than a year. Anything after that year people would tease you and say you're the cow he got for free.


Correct.

Got the milk without having to buy the cow. Milk for free. Duh!:(

I would never live with a guy (unless it's temporary like we are just saving for the wedding and selling our respective houses etc ... so that we could join forces in the next 6 months.)

But just shacking up ... never - you give away your power.

Edited by Printer_Ink - Jan 07 2014 at 10:07am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:06am
Grandma nities can easily be removed if the occasion arisesCool
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:10am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i'm all about being honest during conversations like this so i don't fault you for that buttttttt it does kinda seem like you're gloating...as if maybe she was the hot one of the group before she gained all the weight.


That's how it sounds to me too .. like she's kind of happy her friend .. got fat. :(

What's that new term? 'frienimies'?

I didnt bring up weight, her man issues, his leaving or none of that. Being skinny doesn't make you hot IMO. Before she got there the girl who asked the fateful so "how you doing since your man left" had took a diet pill with her water. That was fake to sit up and say love who you are while you asking me can I get you some Phentermine from my aunt who is a DR. Ouch 

I gave her a buddy pass for my gym since she said she wants to workout, if she never goes how is it something I did wrong? I workout, I dont rub it in her face. I have texted her about it and she said she is busy with work. Shrugs shoulders.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:17am
Only thing I disagree with is you clowning someone you call a friend so easily.  The Resputia comment was messed up.  It's almost as if you don't care one way or another and the situation is entertainment for you.  To answer the OP, I don't think you're wrong for wanting to encourage her to lose weight and I do think weight can be a deal breaker when the attraction fades because of it.  I just think maybe you could have approached the situation differently.  I get you have a bold personality & hell, I ain't mad at you for it but maybe reconsider how you approach things with her if you still want to help her.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:22am
Originally posted by K_Camille K_Camille wrote:

Only thing I disagree with is you clowning someone you call a friend so easily.  The Resputia comment was messed up.  It's almost as if you don't care one way or another and the situation is entertainment for you.  To answer the OP, I don't think you're wrong for wanting to encourage her to lose weight and I do think weight can be a deal breaker when the attraction fades because of it.  I just think maybe you could have approached the situation differently.  I get you have a bold personality & hell, I ain't mad at you for it but maybe reconsider how you approach things with her if you still want to help her.


K Camille she didn't call her friend that. The thief stealing the milk called the cow Rasputia. OP only repeated what the thief said. I'm team OP. I would want my friend to tell me if I looked a hot mess then we would join forces and all work out together. I'm team happy home.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:23am
I must be weird, but a friend is a big deal. Kind of like the word love. I don't throw those words around, so if i'm calling you a friend, i'm treating you with love (whether you are a 'best friend' or not)...and love just don't do the shiesty ish described in here.

Edited by Derri - Jan 07 2014 at 10:24am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:26am
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

I must be weird, but a friend is a big deal. Kind of like the word love. I don't throw those words around, so if i'm calling you a friend, i'm treating you with love (whether you are a 'best friend' or not)...and love just don't do the shiesty ish described in here.
this right here...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:33am
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:



K Camille she didn't call her friend that. The thief stealing the milk called the cow Rasputia. OP only repeated what the thief said. I'm team OP. I would want my friend to tell me if I looked a hot mess then we would join forces and all work out together. I'm team happy home.

I haven't read all the pages in depth but it sounded like OP called her Rasputia in the thread as a joke.  IMO, the way she did it, was like she agreed with the sentiment and thought it was funny hence she repeated it and later informed us the bf said it?  I'm not against OP; I find her likable but I think the manner in which she discussed her "friend" was not at all friend-like, it seemed to be more for entertainment.  The way she describes her friend doesn't sound like something you should say about someone you call a friend, but a random person on the street or someone you don't like.  She's not wrong for wanting her friend to lose weight and voicing it but I think it's OP's approach when she brought it to BHM. It's like the topic is an issue but the only purpose is as a joke and entertainment. 


Edited by K_Camille - Jan 07 2014 at 10:34am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:34am
Originally posted by K_Camille K_Camille wrote:

Only thing I disagree with is you clowning someone you call a friend so easily.  The Resputia comment was messed up.  It's almost as if you don't care one way or another and the situation is entertainment for you.  To answer the OP, I don't think you're wrong for wanting to encourage her to lose weight and I do think weight can be a deal breaker when the attraction fades because of it.  I just think maybe you could have approached the situation differently.  I get you have a bold personality & hell, I ain't mad at you for it but maybe reconsider how you approach things with her if you still want to help her.

I didnt approach the situation at all. We have talked privately about her weight struggles. I even suggested she was depressed, so yeah if you already depressed situps is not your priority. The restaurant was not the place to even discuss it. I thought we were keeping it light, talking about kids, Essie polish and whatnot. 

For example, I called her on Monday and asked what she was doing she said sitting here eating porkrinds. I didnt pull up a shade, try and do a read I was just like oh. I went on to tell her I had her kettlebell I promised to pick up, and we changed the subject. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 10:40am
Princess, when I reference your approach, I'm mainly referring to how you addressed the issue to BHM.  It didn't come across as friendly when you described her and discuss the situation.  

I'm glad you don't make those type of remarks to her in person and are more encouraging IRL.  If she's depressed, she may need to see a therapist, only thing you can do as a friend is listen and encourage her *which you seem to be doing from what you said in the post above*.  
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