lol!

*Takes a seat next to Afro and waits because this is indeed a slippery slope*

The Unusual Parents

<60  Minutes's Mike Wallace first met Donna and Ricardo Thornton, they were victims of plain and simple prejudice.

This was not because they are an interracial couple, nor because they are both classified as retarded, but because they decided to marry and attempted to do what no one thought they should: have a child. 60 Minutes' Wallace first interviewed them in 1986; now he's returned to Washington to see the family's progress after 13 years.

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The Thorntons made their home in an apartment with other mentally challenged people. Their IQs - 67 for him and 64 for her - gave them the label mildly retarded. They hate the label. And had they lived outside Washington, that label could have prevented their marriage.

"I wanted to get married because I didn?'t want to stay by myself," explained Donna Thornton back in the '80s. "I wanted to have somebody to care for me, and I wanted to care for them."

"I married her because I loved her and I just wanted to help her along and make both of us happy," added Ricardo Thornton.

When they were married in June 1984, not all their advisers approved.

"We come from an institution; we?'re both, you know, slow learners, and they think we?'re not going to make it out in the community," said Donna Thornton.

Donna Thornton said that she and her husband didn?'t fight, but rather they fussed over trivial things.

When asked who runs the family, however, the answer was clear. "I have to say, Donna," Ricardo Thornton said.

Their roles may have been different, but their goal was one and the same: self-sufficiency, to do everyday things on their own, to know what to buy, how to budget their money and how to pay bills. Even writing a check can be a major undertaking when someone is just learning to read and write.

These skills, they hoped, would better prepare them for their greatest dream of all: to have a child of their own.

And, in fact, by the spring of 1986, Donna Thornton was pregnant. But three months later, her pregnancy was in trouble.

Doctors wanted to do an amniocentesis check for spina bifida ?— big, frightening words for any couple, especially a mentally challenged one. So social worker Shirley Rees took on the role of guardian and grandmother to the Thorntons.

Soon thereafter, Donna Thornton gave birth to a baby boy named Ricky. He weighed only 2 pounds, 11 ounces.

"I?'ll never forget," she said. "The first thing, I wanted to look at his hands and his feet. I said, 'Does he have his first hands and feet and five fingers?'

"I knew he was going to make it. I knew it," she said.

"We all had God?'s prayers. I couldn?'t believe it. It was just like a miracle. I finally had my baby," Donna Thornton said.

At first social worker Rees became concerned; she realized that simple issues like not being sure when to feed the baby were not so simple for the horntons.

"Donna didn?'t seem to understand; neither did Ricardo," Rees explained. "And I really panicked at that point, thinking that something would happen to the baby.?…He wouldn?'t be fed on time, that he?'d be ill."

When asked if the Thorntons should have had this little boy, Rees responded, "I cannot say that they shouldn?'t have, because he?'s wonderful!"

"I?'m thinking of what?'s ahead. And I?'m thinking of the future," she added.

Now, in 1999, both the Thorntons hold full-time jobs - Ricardo as a library clerk and Donna as a housekeeper.

Ricardo Thornton has also become an outspoken advocate for people with disabilities. He?'s an ambassador for the Special Olympics, a role that recently took him to South Africa.

And Shirley Rees is still very much a part of their daily lives. And as for little Ricky, he?'s now 12 years old.

The last 13 years have not always been easy ones for Ricardo and Donna Thornton, both as husband and wife and as parents. Raising a child can be difficult enough, and especially complicated for a retarded couple raised in an institution. But they are very proud of their child.

"He?'s changing?….He?'s getting very wise," says Donna Thornton.

Ricky can now speak his mind.

"They?'re just kind people," he says. "Even though they have a disability,?…they don't let that hold them as an excuse."

"They still do everyday things. They're everyday people, just like anybody else," Ricky adds. "When I was a kid, I was a little bit embarrassed. But now, no."

Ricky says his parents are not much different from those of his friends, and he sees no problems with their disability.

"Everybody else says I have a gift. And I think that gift is them," Ricky says.

But that gift has limitations. Ricardo and Donna Thornton can hardly help Ricky with his schoolwork, and he is below average in some areas. He regularly receives tutoring.

And in some ways it is Ricky who has taken on the role of teacher.

"I have to help them sometimes," he says. "I help him on nouns, verbs and adjectives."

When asked if it bothers her that her son is smarter than she, Donna Thornton says, "Yes, well, yeah." But, she says, it doesn't make her jealous.

The Thorntons do worry about their parenting abilities and work hard at learning how to raise and properly discipline Ricky. While their rent is paid by the city, they are largely responsible for almost everything else in their day-to-day lives.

They enjoy many typical family activities, and they have become a very close family.

And recently, they had a very special dream fulfilled. They met President Clinton, as Ricardo Thornton was one of several Special Olympians invited to the White House.

It was a happy moment for the Thorntons, but that happiness sometimes turns into anxiety when they think about what lies ahead.

"I worry. I worried a lot, yu know, for my son," Donna Thornton admits.

But no matter how much she worries, she?'s still thankful for all she?'s accomplished. "I used to say, 'Well, one of these days, I hope I can make it, and when I get out, I hope I can get married. I hope I have the right job I want.'"

Edited by india100 - Mar 14 2013 at 6:23pm

Care home brought in PROSTITUTES to have SEX with ‘frustrated’ disabled residents

An investigation was launched today after a care home admitted inviting in prostitutes to offer sexual services to disabled residents.

The street workers regularly meet with vulnerable guests for sex sessions – known in the home as a ”special visit”.

Staff have been ordering the prostitutes by phone who then visit disabled residents at Chaseley, a nursing home caring for 55 people in Eastbourne, Sussex.

Sex workers meet residents in a special room and a red sock is put on the door handle so staff know not to disturb them.

Bosses say many physically and mentally disabled people have no other sexual outlet – and become so frustrated they often resort to groping staff.

Care workers say the ”sex surrogates” are ”therapeutic” and experts claim they are a ”basic human right”.



But East Sussex County Council has launched an urgent investigation into possible ”exploitation and abuse” of vulnerable people.

Sue Wyatt, Chaseley’s manager, has confirmed prostitutes are welcomed at the home but say staff no longer make the calls ordering them directly.

She said a ”third party consultant” was now used to contact the sex workers – and says the disabled guests ”have needs” which the hookers help meet.

Mrs Wyatt said: ”People have needs, so sometimes we might need to be set up a room in a certain way. We are there to help.

”We use a private consultant who arranges everything. They are an independent person who works in the home. She puts people in touch with people.

”We respect our residents as individuals so that’s why we help this to happen.”



The practice at the home was revealed by its former manager Helena Barrow.

She said: ”The fact is, sex workers are allowed by law to sexually enable people but care workers are not.

”So, if someone asked, we would often call in a professional, someone trained to do that. It’s known as the resident’s ‘special visit’.

”If you have a resident who is groping staff, one way of resolving that problem is to get a sex worker in who is trained to deal with that situation.

”But most of the time, these are people who feel frustrated by a primeval need they cannot fulfil.

”So we would help them with the phone, dial the number, or use the computer to contact someone who could help.

”If we refused, we would not be delivering a holistic level of care.”

Mrs Barrow, who now manages another care home in St Leonards, Sussex, insisted residents always paid for the call girls themselves.

She said staff at her former workplace would often telephone sex workers and invite them to the home.

Staff would dial the number and hold the phone to the disabled person’s ear so they could make the call themselves.



She said the calls were welcomed into the building and escorted by a member of staff to a room where a resident was waiting.

Staff would then put a ”special red sock” on the door handle to make sure the couple were not disturbed before checking on them every 15 minutes.

On one occasion, local strippers were invited into the home to perform a ”special show” for residents.

Chaseley is an ex-military nursing home which now houses a mix of residents whose places are funded by private arrangements or by social services.

A spokesman for East Sussex County Council said the local authority had been unaware of Chaseley’s policy of inviting prostitutes on site and ”did not welcome” the idea.

He said: ”We will examine our concerns through the Pan-Sussex Multi-Agency Policy and Procedures for Safeguarding Adults at Risk.

”This has the potential to place vulnerable East Sussex residents at risk of exploitation and abuse.”

But other senior health workers welcomed Chaseley’s decision to actively help its residents have sex.

Denise Banks is director of social care provision at Chailey Heritage Foundation which has been working with the Sexual Health and Disability Allliance, a national group that campaigns for disabled people to be allowed access to sex workers.

She revealed the foundation had contacted Chaseley to help develop a policy where prostitutes could be found for residents if needed.

Mrs Banks said: ”The work they [Chaseley] are doing is certainly pleasing.

”If someone asked us to contact a sex worker for them, we would have to be open to that. If we resisted we would be going against the Human Rights Act.

”We would try to facilitate that somewhere else to protect that individual’s privacy and dignity. It’s a much nicer way to do it. But we need to develop a proper policy.

”We do have to be very careful because when you are working with very vulnerable people you have to make sure they are not being pushed in a certain direction.

”It’s really down to an individual approach. We want to allow people to express their sexuality. It’s completely within the law but of course there has to be boundaries.”

Dr Tuppy Owens, convenor of the Sexual Health and Disability Allliance, said: ”Many disabled people are living in perpetual frustration.

”If someone wants to access a sex worker and they can’t make the phone call then they should be allowed to do that. There’s nothing illegal about it.

”What’s illegal is for disabled people to be denied their human rights.”

But other experts raised health and safety fears around allowing vulnerable people access to sex workers without proper checks.

Nick Tapp, chief executive of East Sussex Disability Association, said he thought it posed ”certain problems”.

He said: ”Allowing them release in this way would appear to be a good thing.

”However, there’s always an issue of risk which is for local authorities and health authorities to look into.

”How do you know the sex workers are not carrying infections? There are certainly safety issues there.”

The Care Quality Commission (CQC), the care watchdog, refused to reveal whether it was aware of prostitutes being invited into care homes.

A CQC spokeswoman said: ”Where an individual care need is identified, we expect care plans to reflect that, and for all the appropriate safeguards to be in place to ensure that the individual concerned and others potentially affected are protected against the risk of abuse.”

The practice of ”sex surrogacy”’ is currently in the spotlight following the release of a new Hollywood film, The Sessions.

It confronts the sexual needs of the disabled and the controversial role sometimes played by surrogates in order to fulfil them.

So,where would the line be drawn,there are a lot of mental disabilities ranging from mild to severe?
People go through stages of depression that can result in limited mobility, and cognitive functioning should that be included into the discussion?
Severe cases of postpartum depression can cause mental instability, and physical ailments....