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Should my man call him out?

 
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 9:50am
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

OP I would have told my boyfriend too.... not to get him to do anything but I dont think I would have anything to hide


but its not about having something to hide.. its about trying to avoid unnecessary drama. 

most guys are pretty territorial and want to feel respected.. with them working together.. her boyfriend could see that as pretty disrespectful being that the friend knew they were together and knew that they see each other pretty regularly.. like thats blatant disrespect.. like you playing besties with my girl and trying to get her on the under when you know she's with me. 

but the friend was really drunk.. so i feel like he should kinda get a pass.. idk if the boyfriend knows how drunk the friend was..  

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote creole booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 10:04am
I don't ever like to seem to appear that I'm not able to conquer these types of problems on my own. I think that my man doesn't like to hear that a dude touched my butt and I didn't handle it. This may b a bad mind set, but it makes me handle it. Every time I feel good that I did. Because I didn't used to. I used to tell him things like this when I was younger. I think it was a turn off. But for a few years, I've kept this kind of info to myself, because it really would b dealt with.

Don't feel too bad. Lots of people would've or have done what u did. Just a bump in the road. You'll figure out how honest is too honest in YOUR relationship. Every relationship is different, but there r some general practices that make things flow easier.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote petiteone29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 10:07am
I don't see the big deal in her telling bf. If some chick grabbed my husbands balls i would want to know. But the fact that they all work together does make it messy. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Iowabred&fed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 12:15pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

Quote
I felt really bad about it, and told my bf. My bf is pissed and since we all work together (same building, same job, everything) he wants to call him out because he says its "blatant disrespect"...


Ermm
at some point you may have to admit to yourself that you wanted drama in you life and got it.  you could have easily shot him down real quick and let that be the end of it but no you wanted the drama to continue after youre gone. 


Whaaa? I don't understand this logic? Why ya'll going so hard? Confused 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JamCaygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 12:26pm
Originally posted by petiteone29<b> petiteone29 wrote:

I don't see the big deal in her telling bf
. If some chick grabbed my husbands balls i would want to know. But the fact that they all work together does make it messy. 


Exactly...
I know everyone's relationship is different, but I wouldn't think twice about telling my man...
esp if I stopped being friends with the dude after that incident... if my man wondered why, would i then tell him a lie?

Now if she was just telling him to stir up drama, that is petty and immature...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 2:14pm
Women and men handle info differently.....some shyt I don't tell Mr00 cause he's a nut and he has laid hands in a negro over me......


But I'm more concerned he went through your phone and deleted messages......both those niccas lame as ......and ima side eye you for not checking his ass when it happen....don't ever let a man invade yo space like that.......

Edited by mizzsandra00 - Nov 17 2013 at 2:15pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 2:16pm
I would tell my bf. I got nothing to hide.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote used2braid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 3:40pm
I told im becasuse I picked him up on the way back home an he could tell something was obviously wrong. This guy was a good friend so I was pretty bummed right?

As for what happened, he ended up texting me this morning and my boyfriend saw it while I was sleeping. He said:

Hey I've been trying to figure out why your mad at me and I really cant remember. It must be something horrible. Do you remember when I told you I wouldnt get drunk around you when we became friends thats because when I'm drunk I'm a diff person, not a good person at all. you've become a great friend to me and I consider you like a cousin. I want you to know that I would never disrespect you. I'll ask for forgiveness at church today and hopefully one day you can forgive me too.

So yah. My boyfriend saw it, flipped out so more and told me not to reply. He saw that i was a bit hesitant about not replying so he basically took it upon himself to message him on Facebook and tell him that he wants to talk to him at work tomorrow and to not message me anymore. My friend basically wrote back like "I'm soo sorry I dont know what I did...you can hit me if you want. blah blah blah. I wont message your girl anymore but please just forgive me.

At this point, I'm feeling kinda hesitant. I just want to say I forgive you, and move on but I dont want him to not respect me or my relationship or piss off my boyfriend. But it's not like he tried to rape me you know. Just bad judgement I guess. Yo..can this even be salvaged? I just feel like things will be MAD awkward so I dont even know how to turn this friendship right except to let time heal wounds and play it out or just cut if out.

Anyways, I'm not really that concerned in the long-run, Im just sad I lost a friend that I really trusted. Lesson learned. On another note, my man just asked my parents for their blessing to propose soon. Long distance thoughThumbs Down


Thanks for all the insight..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 3:47pm
"I moved to a new town and met a guy. He liked me but I wasnt feeling him but we remained cool and hung out. He eventually got a gf and I got a bf and we both backed off but still met up for coffee and talk about our relationship and give each other advice. Before I was set to leave town I was invited to his bday party. While it was awkward at first meeting his gf it  changed and we chatted and had girl talk. When I was set to leave he offered to walk me to my car which was strange but I thought nothing of it. (he was drunk and wobbly but i thought he was being a gentleman) We we got to my car he started telling me I could do better and groped my butt. I was stunned and left. When I got home I wrote him an angry email and told my bf. My bf is now mad at him because we all worked at the same place. The guy texted me saying he was drunk and dont remember.. Should I tell my man to back down and let it go?"



^^^Just wanted to show how all that in the OP could be said with far  less words^^
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used2braid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote used2braid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2013 at 3:49pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

"I moved to a new town and met a guy. He liked me but I wasnt feeling him but we remained cool and hung out. He eventually got a gf and I got a bf and we both backed off but still met up for coffee and talk about our relationship and give each other advice. Before I was set to leave town I was invited to his bday party. While it was awkward at first meeting his gf it  changed and we chatted and had girl talk. When I was set to leave he offered to walk me to my car which was strange but I thought nothing of it. (he was drunk and wobbly but i thought he was being a gentleman) We we got to my car he started telling me I could do better and groped my butt. I was stunned and left. When I got home I wrote him an angry email and told my bf. My bf is now mad at him because we all worked at the same place. The guy texted me saying he was drunk and dont remember.. Should I tell my man to back down and let it go?"



^^^Just wanted to show how all that in the OP could be said with far  less words^^

Yo...Embarrassed
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