I moved to this new town last year, met this guy at my new job. At first I could tell he was kinda interested but I shut it off real quick by talking about other guys in front of him.
At first, we were inseparable at work because we both started at the same time and didn't know anyone. Eventually, we started kinda just chillin and he'd invite me around because I didnt know anyone. We were really cool and helped eaach other out for job applications, all that stuff. Hed give me advice on guys (this town I'm at is full of dirty dogs
and im from a small town of all white people
). Eventually, he got a gf so I backed off. WAyyy off. I know how girls think and I respect the guy, so I just cooled it and stopped hanging out as much. Sometimes, we'd catch up and go for coffees but never really chilled anymore, though we still stayed close.
Anyways, i've been with my new guy for 4 months and he's THE ONE. However, when my coworker and I go on breaks and we catch up, we kinda talk about our relationships and I'll just tell him random things about our relationship to get his input. My bad. He's always kinda remained impartial though but always gave me semi-sound advice from a guy's perspective.
Last night was my last night in town before I moved back home and he invited me to his bday. I came in to his house, met his family, his gf, his boys. His gf at first was checking me hard wondering who the hell I am. But just to make her at ease, I mentioned my bf and we kinda girl-talked about our relationships and she was cool. The rest of the night was fun, chilled with his family. Good times. When it came time to go, he was like "oh, I'll walk you out to your car"
I kinda knew that it was kinda awkward cuz his girls' watching me and stuff but I thought that its harmless and he was just being a gentlemen (though a bit extra). He's REALLY drunk, slurring and stuff. But as he's walking, hes like "I just wanna say that you can do sooo much better than your man. Like..your 10 times more attractive. Like..trust me on this. When you go back to your town, do you ok?! Do you."
He's soo drunk that I'm like "ok...
" and brush it off as him just being drunk. But then he goes, "Ok, I wanna do something but don't get mad? and he reaches over and grabs my butt!" And he starts going on like "wow ive been wanting to do that for soooo long. I've always wondered if it was fake the whole time" and I'm just standing there like "
woww... I didnt see that coming". I was just like Wow...umm.. And he was like "I'll come visit you ok? Like..3 weeks? But I'll need a place to stay, not at your parents house though..."
I didnt say anything but bye and left, I know I shouldve but like..wow. I was so blind-sighed because I genuinely thought he was just a friend to me. I feel stupid that the whole time I was telling him things, he took the opportunity to make a move when I literally just saw him like a brother and saw no signs. I already recognized what I did wrong there by telling him so much.
I ended up writing him a long email telling him like "yoo this whole time, I thought we were friends but it sucks to think that all this time you thought I was down and "that kinda girl" and you were disrespectful"...
I felt really bad about it, and told my bf. My bf is pissed and since we all work together (same building, same job, everything) he wants to call him out because he says its "blatant disrespect"...
I told him that I handled it, I cut him off and I'm outta town anyways, but he thinks that since he works with him still and he'll see him around he HAS to say something.
I was checking my phone today, and my bf admitted that he saw that my coworker had texted me something along the lines of "Hey, just read your email. I was drunk. What did I say? And basically said I see you only as a friend, thats why I put you in the friendzone" but confessed that he deleted it while I was sleeping.
Anyways..what the hell happened and how do I convince my bf to leave it alone?!