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Should I move back to Africa/Caribbean?

 
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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    Posted: Aug 09 2013 at 9:03am
Hi. You might remember me as the teen who bleached after torment regarding my skin tone. I have stopped bleaching since May and have managed to stay away from bleaching products. However I am worried for my mental state. I don't think I am able to be happy in this western world. The western media says that light skin and thin nose is beauty. I have noticed that majority of people buy into this beauty standard. I am always going to be inferior here. I don't like that I am not surrounded by people that look like me. I feel almost like an alien.
      Everytime I go outside I feel very inferior. I see so many people who match media beauty standards. I want to move back to Mozambique or even the Caribbean because I feel I will be happier there. I know Africa and the Caribbean have their own issues but I feel I will be comfortable around people of my own kind. Problem: My parents won't let me. I have family in Mozambique. Mom's parents dead she has no siblings. We were not close with my father's siblings. So I have my grandmother. She is in Mozambique. She is very old. My parents still won't let me go want me to do college here. They don't understand how I feel that western world is bad for my mental state they are angry at me and think I am being silly. Help.
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Krystal Klear View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Krystal Klear Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 09 2013 at 10:15am
do college in the US Virgin Islands.  That season of college hill looked fun!
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mozambiquegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 09 2013 at 5:20pm
Thank you for responding. I am really worried for my mental sake and don't think I can survive in this western world
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 10 2013 at 7:34am
Originally posted by mozambiquegirl mozambiquegirl wrote:

Hi. You might remember me as the teen who bleached after torment regarding my skin tone. I have stopped bleaching since May and have managed to stay away from bleaching products. However I am worried for my mental state. I don't think I am able to be happy in this western world. The western media says that light skin and thin nose is beauty. I have noticed that majority of people buy into this beauty standard. I am always going to be inferior here. I don't like that I am not surrounded by people that look like me. I feel almost like an alien.
      Everytime I go outside I feel very inferior. I see so many people who match media beauty standards. I want to move back to Mozambique or even the Caribbean because I feel I will be happier there. I know Africa and the Caribbean have their own issues but I feel I will be comfortable around people of my own kind. Problem: My parents won't let me. I have family in Mozambique. Mom's parents dead she has no siblings. We were not close with my father's siblings. So I have my grandmother. She is in Mozambique. She is very old. My parents still won't let me go want me to do college here. They don't understand how I feel that western world is bad for my mental state they are angry at me and think I am being silly. Help.
Are you living around mostly european people? Because the "western world" is a melting pot of all nationalities, you could find a community of people that look just like you. Where is your family? Don't you have any??
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 10 2013 at 2:23pm
Umm it sounds like something else is going on.
 
Come on now .. I have lived in the Western world (3 countries) all my life and I don't get the message that light skin etc .. is prettier than dark skin. Shocked
 
Even when I do pick up on this .. I feel good enough about my own beauty to blow it off. You really have to take what you see on TV or whatever with a grain of salt.
 
Hey, I know a lot of White people and guess what? They don't feel good about their looks either! They have all sorts of self esteem issues.
 
I think probabaly your family did not offer you a good enough support system or they did not enstill some basic self esteem in you ... if the values of the Western world can have such an infuence on you.
 
If it's that big of a deal I would say you need to seek Counseling and get to the bottom of it ... because I guarantee this so called standard of beauty thing cannot be THE THING that is making you feel inferrior and is affecting your mental state such that you want to want to move to a non-Western county.
 
I think the fact that you were using bleaching cream to begin with ... speaks volumes about what's going on in your head .. and that kind of thinking had to have started a long time ago. Confused
 
Think about it.
 
Either way .. if your mental state is in jeapardy .. seek counseling. I mean what if you move and everyone there feels the same way? Then what?
 


Edited by Printer_Ink - Aug 10 2013 at 2:31pm
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allure13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote allure13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 26 2013 at 7:44am
Don't a lot of people in Africa bleach, like a whole lot of people?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NARSAddict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 26 2013 at 12:26pm
Originally posted by allure13 allure13 wrote:

Don't a lot of people in Africa bleach, like a whole lot of people?



Speaking on a corner of Nigeria where I was attending a wedding.  I did see a handful of those who were obviously bleaching but bleaching in general is an expensive endeavor.  Folks over where I was at was more pressed on getting weaves and the latest technology and clothes than bleaching.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cece1987 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2013 at 4:08am
go to seek help, please it sounds like you are trying to run away from your problems, and thank this post plzSmile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 6:21am
I definitely think Africa is 'infected' with this false sense of beauty from the skin issue to the hair thing.
 
When I started wearing my big kinky/curly afro lace wigs ... everyone (meaning varying nationalities and ethnic groups)  loved it except my girlfriends from different parts of Africa.
 
They think I should straighten it. Disapprove
 
(shrugs) You just have to know who you are ... and the OP does not know this yet
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brjasuga51 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 8:01am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

I definitely think Africa is 'infected' with this false sense of beauty from the skin issue to the hair thing.
 
When I started wearing my big kinky/curly afro lace wigs ... everyone (meaning varying nationalities and ethnic groups)  loved it except my girlfriends from different parts of Africa.
 
They think I should straighten it. Disapprove
 
(shrugs) You just have to know who you are ... and the OP does not know this yet
 OP needs to know and ACCEPT WHO SHE IS
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