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2bBsL View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: shame
    Posted: May 03 2008 at 12:04am
 Ever since I've been looking into going "natural" i have been seeing more and more of the same thing. Natural women with a sort of, nose in the air quality toward everyone else.
 
I just kinda looked away but a recent post in the texturizers forum has me wanting to get it out.
 
Why does it seem like every natural woman has that attitude? if your not natural than your automatically ignorant and turning away from your african roots by relaxing your hair.
 
Why does it have to be all that? Why cant i just like having straight hair?
 
Or the maintence with having relaxed hair, for me its wasnt all that much, granted i cant wash and go...styles just seemed to last longer for me.
 
its like im WRONG for NOT wanting my hair natural, and my opinion of natural hair has changed alot over the last few years...before i would NEVER in a million years consider it because i (not to sound ignorant) hated nappy hair, not being able to comb through my hair and having it all bushy and what not...
 
like i said that was THEN not NOW, now i can see the beauty in natural hair, but its a major turn off when i get those holier than thou personalities....thats something i DO NOT want to be associated with.
 
I dont want to offend anyone but i almost feel like natural women have that attitude to make them selves feel better about their hair, almost like when large women hate on thin ones or popular kids hate on the "geeks"
to bring up their own self esteem.
 
that all has me up in arms about wether on not to texlax or let it do what it wants...
 
I prefer 3c type curls that can easily be roller set or flat ironed but because of what i said above i feel like i CANT do that...that its not right...
 
 im so torn
 
 
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shortnsweet08 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 12:23am

I know what you mean...Im natural and I admit that I sometimes have my nose in the air b/c of it. I guess its partly because....as sad as it is, a black woman really does have to be brave to wear her own hair, most of the time, nappy hair isnt seen as beautiful, and even today you hear things like "good hair" and "pretty hair". A lot of women will tell you that they perm just b/c it is easier, but thats hard to believe when 85% of black women perm. I guess I have my nose in the air cause im finally bold enough to wear my own hair, the way it is, and i dont make excuses. I used to be one who thought curly hair was prettier, Im just so proud to be over that. I dont feel like i have to change my hair in any way, I feel like the way it grows out of my scalp is the best for me. All in all, I guess I feel the way youve described becuase I feel like im able to wear my own hair, and others feel like they arent?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 12:53am
I agree OP
 
I know a lot of us naturals can come off like that.
 
I know I get that vibe from some.
 
Some have the nerve to question others "blackness" or pride in being black, because the way we wear our hair.
 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 1:04am
I think people like that are ridiculous. Why would you have to discriminate people just because they relax their hair?? You dont see white women turning down their noses at other white women who color their hair. Why do african americans have to do it?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 1:29am
It's simple. Certain folks know the truth about relaxers.
It's the brainwashing that makes them think that they can't comb their hair. People with "curly 3C" hair have to be just as cautious with their curls. If you don't start from the bottom and work your way up it's gonna break and tear regardless. Curly is Curly. Our hair is just a tighter. Everyone has opinions. You should not let anyone else's opinions stop your from doing what you want to do. 
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Dehinds View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 5:26am
Some people are like that but not all. I don't believe relaxing necessary means that the person is turning away from their "African roots" just like I won't  assume a natural is embracing his/her "African roots". Sure in a perfect world without the history of racism and discrimination based on skin color and hair, the oppressed and the oppressors and the oppressed trying to assimilate with the oppressors. There's society pressures where straight hair is more beautiful, acceptable, manageable and professional.

Until we live in a society where straight hair is optional and not a must *because we know for some straight hair is a requirement*

Until I stop reading stories of posters starting threads about a mother/sister/brother/father/friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc/ giving them grief over wearing their hair in its natural form.

There's no denying there's a strong preference for certain hair types.


Edited by Dehinds - May 03 2008 at 5:27am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 7:36am
Originally posted by 2bBsL 2bBsL wrote:

 Ever since I've been looking into going "natural" i have been seeing more and more of the same thing. Natural women with a sort of, nose in the air quality toward everyone else.
 
I just kinda looked away but a recent post in the texturizers forum has me wanting to get it out.
 
Why does it seem like every natural woman has that attitude? if your not natural than your automatically ignorant and turning away from your african roots by relaxing your hair.
 
Why does it have to be all that? Why cant i just like having straight hair?
 
Or the maintence with having relaxed hair, for me its wasnt all that much, granted i cant wash and go...styles just seemed to last longer for me.
 
its like im WRONG for NOT wanting my hair natural, and my opinion of natural hair has changed alot over the last few years...before i would NEVER in a million years consider it because i (not to sound ignorant) hated nappy hair, not being able to comb through my hair and having it all bushy and what not...
 
like i said that was THEN not NOW, now i can see the beauty in natural hair, but its a major turn off when i get those holier than thou personalities....thats something i DO NOT want to be associated with.
 
I dont want to offend anyone but i almost feel like natural women have that attitude to make them selves feel better about their hair, almost like when large women hate on thin ones or popular kids hate on the "geeks"
to bring up their own self esteem.
 
that all has me up in arms about wether on not to texlax or let it do what it wants...
 
I prefer 3c type curls that can easily be roller set or flat ironed but because of what i said above i feel like i CANT do that...that its not right...
 
 im so torn
 
 


Every hair type (relaxed, natural, weaved up) has women with an attitude. For each natural with an attitude I'm sure there's 99 more relaxed heads with an even bigger one, telling her to "fix" her hair. Not every natural has an attitude and I am offended by people saying that. That's like saying every black woman has an attitude. It's not true. A few times people have said to natural heads "you look African now", so some people are turning away from looking African.

It's not about "just wanting straight hair" all the time. If it was just a preference, then why would so many other people share this preference? It can't just be a coincidence. If it was just a preference, then why create a post about it? Just do it. If relaxed styles last longer and are easy for you, then just do it.

And now large women are the only ones with low self esteem? Have you even heard of eating disorders suffered by underweight people? Welcome to the real world. Plus popular kids having low self esteem? Not often. "Geeks" can have low self esteem too.

You want to texlax? Go ahead. Unless you are 3C naturally, then you won't get 3C curls texlaxing so you'll be wasting your time. I don't understand why people who relax have to blame it on "natural miltants". I hear about far more relaxed miltants than natural ones. Doesn't stop people from relaxing though.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 8:39am
I just see it as a choice. If there are relaxers, you have the choice to get one if you want to and vise versa. The only time I have a problem with it is when someone wants to be mean evil about someone else's hair, whether they are relaxed or natural.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 9:40am
I'm not going to sugarcoat and say I don't agree with some of the more "militant" aspects of this issue because frankly I do.  If that makes me "having my nose in the air" oh well.  My thing is, if you want to be natural why are you baseing it on what other naturals think?  It's a part of your body.  If like saying I won't wear lipstick becasue the mean girl in high school wore it. 
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monappy28 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2008 at 10:11am
Some people do come off like that, but don't put all us nappies in the same category. Do I prefer natural over permed, of course. Does it matter what you or anyone else chooses, not at all! This was my choice for me. If some one wants to go natural and come to me for advice, of course I'm going to be all over it. I don't think nappies should impose their opinions on the permies, because we get offended when the permies impose their opinion on us. So anyway, Some folks can come off like that, but they are the minority.  Most of use feel that it's a choice that people make, and that's cool too! Sorry some nappies have made you feel that way, but I can express the same complaints about permies because some of them do turn their noses down on the nappies and make rude comments. So it's a two way street, no need to get offended. If you are comfortable in your skin, then to hell with em'!
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