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Shackin up...

 
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OrriannaRose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OrriannaRose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:09am
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i'm really fond of the idea of living with someone but having my own bedroom.  is that weird?  


Lol u are not weird and I love this
 
That is so cute! LOLLOL I don't think it would work for me though.
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:09am
Originally posted by Lonisha87 Lonisha87 wrote:

BHM has said time and time again. This is not okay.


IMO for some people it works, for others no.

The only man I've ever lived with I'm now marrying. Been together 7yrs, lived together 5yrs. In my opinion, I think it's a good thing as it gives you the chance to really get to know someone. When you share space, at some point you're both going to get on each other's nerves. And how you handle that when you can't do an easy "exit stage left" by going back to YOUR PLACE is going to show whether your couple style can really stand the test of time or not.

I firmly believe that if my mom had been living with my dad, she probably WOULDN'T have married him as the two ended up being such polar opposites, it's no surprise the marriage didn't really last.

Having said that...I don't think you should just start living with every person you date. You should seriously be eyeing them as marriage material, and prior to house/apartment hunting you both should have had a convo about whether or not you see the other as someone you could call your husband/wife. Without that, playing house is a waste of time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:12am
Nowadays, the only way most young people can afford to move out of their parents' houses is to have a roommate. I'd much rather my roommate be my SO than anyone else. Plus then you can make your housing even cheaper by getting a studio and splitting the cost.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote ScorpioLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:16am
I have to be engaged first
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:17am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Nowadays, the only way most young people can afford to move out of their parents' houses is to have a roommate. I'd much rather my roommate be my SO than anyone else. Plus then you can make your housing even cheaper by getting a studio and splitting the cost.




That really depends on whether you and your SO can comfortably live together in a small space. Between my clothes and his DJ/video editing equipment, even a 1 bedroom can be a stretch - especially in NYC - if it's not laid out properly. Plus we both work from home, so truly separate work spaces is the ONLY way for it to work for us. Ideally a 2 bedroom is best. And the next step is definitely buying something roomy.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:28am
Originally posted by niecy niecy wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by niecy niecy wrote:

Wonderland I just may have to bring up the possibility of doing that with my SO

what do you think he will say?  

IDK. He'd probably go along with it since he kept bringing up finding an apartment instead of me staying on campus.

if you get a 2 bedroom then he can take the baby some nights so you can actually get some rest.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:32am
Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Nowadays, the only way most young people can afford to move out of their parents' houses is to have a roommate. I'd much rather my roommate be my SO than anyone else. Plus then you can make your housing even cheaper by getting a studio and splitting the cost.




That really depends on whether you and your SO can comfortably live together in a small space. Between my clothes and his DJ/video editing equipment, even a 1 bedroom can be a stretch - especially in NYC - if it's not laid out properly. Plus we both work from home, so truly separate work spaces is the ONLY way for it to work for us. Ideally a 2 bedroom is best. And the next step is definitely buying something roomy.




i could have lived in a studio at like 20. at 27...naaahh...i like space...sometimes away from himLOL
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 12:40am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Nowadays, the only way most young people can afford to move out of their parents' houses is to have a roommate. I'd much rather my roommate be my SO than anyone else. Plus then you can make your housing even cheaper by getting a studio and splitting the cost.




That really depends on whether you and your SO can comfortably live together in a small space. Between my clothes and his DJ/video editing equipment, even a 1 bedroom can be a stretch - especially in NYC - if it's not laid out properly. Plus we both work from home, so truly separate work spaces is the ONLY way for it to work for us. Ideally a 2 bedroom is best. And the next step is definitely buying something roomy.




i could have lived in a studio at like 20. at 27...naaahh...i like space...sometimes away from himLOL


Yeah, I was thinking like 18-25. At that age you need to save as much on your housing as you possibly can because you don't have much money. Plus you're less "established" so to speak and likely have fewer possessions anyway because you haven't settled in a place/career yet.

But, I'm 27 (well in a few days) and a studio would do just fine for me and my SO. We're both minimalists so don't have a bunch of stuff. Plus we like to be within touching distance of one another like 99% of the time lol.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote danni7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 9:00am
Mmhhhh don't really care either way. I've realized I like the idea of a wedding, a ring and saying my husband but I don't really care about marriage.

Shaking up or married I just love my so being around. I think what messes up most relationships is the idea of what its suppose to be. Just because you're married doesn't mean your so is committed to you and it doesn't validate your relationship.

If you're in love just do what feels right to you and enjoy...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote CLCNY20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 02 2013 at 10:02am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by CLCNY20 CLCNY20 wrote:

Originally posted by Prtybrwneye_z Prtybrwneye_z wrote:

Originally posted by dreamz dreamz wrote:

I know a hetero couple that have lived together for 22 years.

I judge them, even though i know i shouldnt.

^this, I know it works for some but it's not for me. I know folks who have been together for over 20 years, with teenage children and paying a mortgage. If ya can sign that deed you can sign a marriage certificate cuz they are both long term commitments.
 
But, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
 
That's what these chicks aren't getting:  if you are looking for comitment, you're going about it all wrong.  These guys already feel ya'll are living the married life, so what's the big deal about getting a marriage certificate?


I look at it the totally opposite way. If all the other stuff is together (financial, legal) then there's actually no need for a marriage certificate unless you just want one. A marriage certificate is just a legal shortcut...but you don't need it in order to receive many of the legal benefits that go along with it if you make other arrangements(of course that doesn't apply to every situation).

And getting married isn't enough to show that someone is committed, at least in my eyes. It shows commitment, yes, but so does combining finances, getting a mortgage together, naming your SO in your will, giving your SO medical/legal power of attorney, having shared goals, etc. etc. You don't need a marriage certificate for all that.

Shackin is fine and dandy to me. Not shackin is fine and dandy too. As long as you're in the situation you want.
 
You missed my point--what I said was in reference to the girls who are moving in overnight in the hopes of getting a wedding ring. 
 
If two people agree that they're not matrimonial-minded, and they just want want to live together, that's cool--but if some young chick thinks that shackin' up with some dude will gaurantee a ring, that's where I frown upon it; that's usually the case, btw: these chicks think that is the first step in securing a ring, and that's where my "why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?" statement comes in.  Why would the guy move to marry you if you're already living together, washing his sh*t-stained draughs, cleaning up after him, etc?  He already got a wifey, why the need for a certificate and ring?
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