Shackin up...

Lonisha87 wrote: BHM has said time and time again. This is not okay.

IMO for some people it works, for others no.

The only man I've ever lived with I'm now marrying. Been together 7yrs, lived together 5yrs. In my opinion, I think it's a good thing as it gives you the chance to really get to know someone. When you share space, at some point you're both going to get on each other's nerves. And how you handle that when you can't do an easy "exit stage left" by going back to YOUR PLACE is going to show whether your couple style can really stand the test of time or not.

I firmly believe that if my mom had been living with my dad, she probably WOULDN'T have married him as the two ended up being such polar opposites, it's no surprise the marriage didn't really last.

Having said that...I don't think you should just start living with every person you date. You should seriously be eyeing them as marriage material, and prior to house/apartment hunting you both should have had a convo about whether or not you see the other as someone you could call your husband/wife. Without that, playing house is a waste of time.

I have to be engaged first

niecy wrote: ms_wonderland wrote: niecy wrote: Wonderland I just may have to bring up the possibility of doing that with my SO what do you think he will say?   IDK. He'd probably go along with it since he kept bringing up finding an apartment instead of me staying on campus.

EPITOME wrote: modelbusiness82 wrote: maysay1 wrote: Nowadays, the only way most young people can afford to move out of their parents' houses is to have a roommate. I'd much rather my roommate be my SO than anyone else. Plus then you can make your housing even cheaper by getting a studio and splitting the cost. That really depends on whether you and your SO can comfortably live together in a small space. Between my clothes and his DJ/video editing equipment, even a 1 bedroom can be a stretch - especially in NYC - if it's not laid out properly. Plus we both work from home, so truly separate work spaces is the ONLY way for it to work for us. Ideally a 2 bedroom is best. And the next step is definitely buying something roomy. i could have lived in a studio at like 20. at 27...naaahh...i like space...sometimes away from him

Yeah, I was thinking like 18-25. At that age you need to save as much on your housing as you possibly can because you don't have much money. Plus you're less "established" so to speak and likely have fewer possessions anyway because you haven't settled in a place/career yet.

But, I'm 27 (well in a few days) and a studio would do just fine for me and my SO. We're both minimalists so don't have a bunch of stuff. Plus we like to be within touching distance of one another like 99% of the time lol.

maysay1 wrote: CLCNY20 wrote: Prtybrwneye_z wrote: dreamz wrote: I know a hetero couple that have lived together for 22 years. I judge them, even though i know i shouldnt. ^this, I know it works for some but it's not for me. I know folks who have been together for over 20 years, with teenage children and paying a mortgage. If ya can sign that deed you can sign a marriage certificate cuz they are both long term commitments.   But, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?   That's what these chicks aren't getting:  if you are looking for comitment, you're going about it all wrong.  These guys already feel ya'll are living the married life, so what's the big deal about getting a marriage certificate? I look at it the totally opposite way. If all the other stuff is together (financial, legal) then there's actually no need for a marriage certificate unless you just want one. A marriage certificate is just a legal shortcut...but you don't need it in order to receive many of the legal benefits that go along with it if you make other arrangements(of course that doesn't apply to every situation). And getting married isn't enough to show that someone is committed, at least in my eyes. It shows commitment, yes, but so does combining finances, getting a mortgage together, naming your SO in your will, giving your SO medical/legal power of attorney, having shared goals, etc. etc. You don't need a marriage certificate for all that. Shackin is fine and dandy to me. Not shackin is fine and dandy too. As long as you're in the situation you want.