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Shackin up...

 
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 5:27pm
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

My parents strongly disapproved of me or my siblings shacking up.
I do not have a problem with it myself but it would have to be with the plan to get married in the near future.
 
I know two couples in which the ladies are very near and dear to my heart. I consider them my sisters, even though one is an actual relative. One is pregnant and the other one just had her baby a week ago yesterday. They live with the fathers of their babies. The one that just had her baby has been with the father for almost 9 years and have lived together for 4 years. The other one that is currently pregnant has been with the father for 7 years and they have lived together 3 years. As much as I listen to them talk about wanting and ready to be married, I do not understand why neither of them have approached the subject with them..
 
 
Me personally, from the point where I move in, I need an engagement ring on my hand and a date set in stone. I am not exceeding 1.5 years from that point co-habitating with a man without a name change and a wedding band in addition to my engagement ring. I am just not going to do it. Period. The only way is if something unexpected happens because we all know life throws us punches.
 
Anything past that point, I may have to re-evaluate the relationship/engagement.. People get comfortable sometimes and do not have the desire or the want to go through with it when they live together.. When I make that move to unite under one roof, I am doing it with the sole intent to get married, not co-habitate for 10 years...



If a dude has been with you for 9 years and yall have kids together...and has NOT married you. its clear, he doesn't want to be married to her.
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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote petiteone29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 6:40pm
shackin up always sounded so country to me
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Findingmyme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 7:17pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:


Originally posted by Findingmyme Findingmyme wrote:

I've done it, ended in disaster, but that was because we were way to young and immature, I think if you are mature, and love each other, go for it! I even encourage living with your future spouse prior to marriage because the saying, "you never really know a person until you live with them" have proved itself to be true! At least for me.


No the saying goes why buy the milk when you have the cow!!! Dis-approve. Seen too many fails.


Which is why I said for me! And why but the milk when you have the typically applies to sex and "wifey" duties not living together, just because you live with someone doesn't mean your washing their clothes, cleaning up after them, cooking for them ect.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 8:29pm
If I lived with someone I certainly would.
I clean up and cook for my roomie when we lived together and she did so for me.

It would be weird to live with my boo and try to be so calculated.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Ladycoils Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 8:33pm
I'm doing it and prefer to live with him before marriage as I want to know what I'm dealing with. Whatever works for the individual couple.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 8:37pm
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

My parents strongly disapproved of me or my siblings shacking up.
I do not have a problem with it myself but it would have to be with the plan to get married in the near future.
 
I know two couples in which the ladies are very near and dear to my heart. I consider them my sisters, even though one is an actual relative. One is pregnant and the other one just had her baby a week ago yesterday. They live with the fathers of their babies. The one that just had her baby has been with the father for almost 9 years and have lived together for 4 years. The other one that is currently pregnant has been with the father for 7 years and they have lived together 3 years. As much as I listen to them talk about wanting and ready to be married, I do not understand why neither of them have approached the subject with them..
 
 
Me personally, from the point where I move in, I need an engagement ring on my hand and a date set in stone. I am not exceeding 1.5 years from that point co-habitating with a man without a name change and a wedding band in addition to my engagement ring. I am just not going to do it. Period. The only way is if something unexpected happens because we all know life throws us punches.
 
Anything past that point, I may have to re-evaluate the relationship/engagement.. People get comfortable sometimes and do not have the desire or the want to go through with it when they live together.. When I make that move to unite under one roof, I am doing it with the sole intent to get married, not co-habitate for 10 years...
something like .......?
 
a baby?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote r0ck_starr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 8:51pm
Boyfriend brought it up, I struck it down as a HELL NO.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Miss SDY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 9:14pm
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

My parents strongly disapproved of me or my siblings shacking up.
I do not have a problem with it myself but it would have to be with the plan to get married in the near future.
 
I know two couples in which the ladies are very near and dear to my heart. I consider them my sisters, even though one is an actual relative. One is pregnant and the other one just had her baby a week ago yesterday. They live with the fathers of their babies. The one that just had her baby has been with the father for almost 9 years and have lived together for 4 years. The other one that is currently pregnant has been with the father for 7 years and they have lived together 3 years. As much as I listen to them talk about wanting and ready to be married, I do not understand why neither of them have approached the subject with them..
 
 
Me personally, from the point where I move in, I need an engagement ring on my hand and a date set in stone. I am not exceeding 1.5 years from that point co-habitating with a man without a name change and a wedding band in addition to my engagement ring. I am just not going to do it. Period. The only way is if something unexpected happens because we all know life throws us punches.
 
Anything past that point, I may have to re-evaluate the relationship/engagement.. People get comfortable sometimes and do not have the desire or the want to go through with it when they live together.. When I make that move to unite under one roof, I am doing it with the sole intent to get married, not co-habitate for 10 years...
something like .......?
 
a baby?
 
Nah,
I plan to be married before I get pregnant again..
I meant something like financial hardship, loss of a job, ect... Which could potentially push things back. Which I imagine a baby could bring financial hardship if you are already financially unstable..
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 9:17pm
i'm really fond of the idea of living with someone but having my own bedroom.  is that weird?  
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Miss SDY View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Miss SDY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

My parents strongly disapproved of me or my siblings shacking up.
I do not have a problem with it myself but it would have to be with the plan to get married in the near future.
 
I know two couples in which the ladies are very near and dear to my heart. I consider them my sisters, even though one is an actual relative. One is pregnant and the other one just had her baby a week ago yesterday. They live with the fathers of their babies. The one that just had her baby has been with the father for almost 9 years and have lived together for 4 years. The other one that is currently pregnant has been with the father for 7 years and they have lived together 3 years. As much as I listen to them talk about wanting and ready to be married, I do not understand why neither of them have approached the subject with them..
 
 
Me personally, from the point where I move in, I need an engagement ring on my hand and a date set in stone. I am not exceeding 1.5 years from that point co-habitating with a man without a name change and a wedding band in addition to my engagement ring. I am just not going to do it. Period. The only way is if something unexpected happens because we all know life throws us punches.
 
Anything past that point, I may have to re-evaluate the relationship/engagement.. People get comfortable sometimes and do not have the desire or the want to go through with it when they live together.. When I make that move to unite under one roof, I am doing it with the sole intent to get married, not co-habitate for 10 years...



If a dude has been with you for 9 years and yall have kids together...and has NOT married you. its clear, he doesn't want to be married to her.
 
 
 
You are very much so correct on that.
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