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Sad but happy for someone you can't be with

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discreet. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote discreet. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Sad but happy for someone you can't be with
    Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 12:50am
How do you cope with being happy for someone you care about who has found a new spark in someone else? I feel sad and pathetic because I miss my friend and he's my dream come true. I don't know if we're even friends anymore, I just know he's living his life as he should. There hasn't been a day that passed since last February, where I haven't thought of him. He is an inspiring human being and I just want to learn from him. Still. But I believe he's seeing someone now, or has been. While I am not vexed, I'm sad. Very sad. Because I know that the person he is interested in reminds me of a much better version of myself, I guess the woman I've always wanted to be. She's beautiful, she's funny, intelligent, and witty. She's everything I wished I was.

Now I just cry because I'm so happy for them but depressed because she's his shining star and not my being or anything.
I miss my friend. I miss the way he accepted me for who I was and opened me to explore. He's the only man I've ever been with, while I'm 20 which is still young, I didn't have experiences like that during my teens. So he has a special place as a human being alone, but a friend, a "love story" and a dream.

I must mention that we live in different countries. Him UK, me US. The last time I saw him was back in August. As I had to return back here. We had moments together I cannot forget and will always cherish. It's been months. But he's just so special, I can't help but to yearn for him. But he, like most sensible and progressive human beings, wants to seize his days. Meet people, connect, share his gifts, and make memories. And we're so young so I am not upset at all. Just sad. Is it justifiable to be sad? He wished me a happy birthday months ago and would occasionally comment on photos I took.
The little things like that meant a lot. I also find myself comparing myself to his gorgeous and lovely person of an interest he has. I usually feel pathetic after that so I just avoid it, until I give in and give myself explanations as to why she is better and that he should be happy regardless. It's been "a long time" to most. It's been seven months.

Do you know the feelings of being happy for someone but sad for yourself at the same time because you are not a part of their life in such way anymore?
I know I should carry on but It doesn't quench my thoughts about him.
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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 6:00am
No, sorry but I don't know how you feel.
I remember being 20 years old and a guy I knew ... started spending all his time with another woman - and yes that hurt.
However, I did not think she was inherently pretter, or more than I was. I just thought wanted her more than me. I think you will find that everyone has issues .. you just don't always see them.
My advice for you is ... give yourself one more week to moon over him and then .. SNAP OUT THE H*** OUT OF IT. It's non-productive.
Build up yourself .. put that wasted energy into yourself so that you can be your best both inside and out.
That way ... this time next year you can be ready to meet another guy that's 10 times better than that guy and .. he thinks YOU are it!!!
Invest in yourself!
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Lady Ginzuishou View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady Ginzuishou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 11 2013 at 10:13pm
I'm going through the same thing right now. I feel indifferent but every time I talk that person that I like i feel sorry for myself as if I'm not good enough to live up to his expectations. I hate feeling like I'm in some sort of limbo that I can't get out of. So @ Discreet, you're not the only one who is going through this but atleast you can admit it, for me its taking every bit of my fiber to keep from bringing this conversation to him without crying.
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YoursTruly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote YoursTruly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 28 2013 at 5:12pm
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lala71848 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote lala71848 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 16 2013 at 12:02am
I felt this way when I had a huge crush on one of my friends when I was a teenager , he knew how I felt and used that to his advantage and I let him.   I knew he had a girlfriend n I too would constantly compare myself to her. But then one day it clicked I realized I was better than this, I didn't like feeling inferior to someone else so I did something about it. I found Lil ways to dismiss him and got myself together by doing things for ME. I kno it'll be hard because your feelings run deep. You need to find things too keep your mind occupied and off of him. Are you looking to date ? If not you need to ,maybe a lil casual dinner n movies.
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