I obviously agree that he should not go and see her; I made this thread to prove to myself that I am not exaggerating. However, I did say we share pretty much everything, especially when it involves the relationship so I let him know about the thread and he has read your replies and wants to answer back. He’ll type out his thoughts.
Good evening everyone. Hope you are all doing well. I am not quite sure who it is I am addressing, your average age group etc. but it would be safe to assume it is mostly ladies who frequent this particular site. Given this, I would hate to get caught up in a sexist kind of argument for what I am about to say, but I have witnessed my girl being overcome by morbid fears after some of your responses and I have something to say about it nonetheless. Before moving on to the juicy bits, let me make something very clear from the kick-off so that no one argues that I am disguising my ill intent or dirty secrets behind defensive, long-winded arguments. I intend on going on that stroll in the park and having a discussion with the married woman. Shocking, I know. It will most definitely NOT be a picnic (I haven’t even done that with my girlfriend) and my girlfriend is of course welcome to join, no pressure on her, this is not a matter of trust (I will not play the trust card) it is simply a matter of choice – her choice and her choice only. I am merely chiming in to say how utterly flabbergasted I am left before the malice of unscathed, raw human emotion; especially when it comes in the form of – shall I say – supposedly friendly advice?
My lady was quite accurate with the facts, if not a bit concise, and I trust you have been accurate with your feelings. I am grateful for your responses but I can’t help but notice that these verge from mild bafflement and cautious advice to downright pseudo-prophetic assertions of the sort: “Married woman wants to ; Your boyfriend entertains the thought; If he goes, he’s interested in her [God, you draw these perfect little lines in your head and can be so didactic at times, everything makes perfect sense and it’s all the same to you, no matter who’s involved & individuals’ differences – sorry, I just couldn’t resist, I’ll wait till later for building up my argument]; He may have deleted the messages; Delete her; Get it under control or she gets a new daddy for her kids [she has no kids]; It is already too late, they are smashing [Smashing? Really??]”.
To the rest of you offering good advice, I am thankful – your opinions are heeded and weighed in. But this riposte of mine is very specifically directed towards this latter kind of mischievous chirpers, the ones that have filled my good girl with doubts and have introduced undue distress into this relationship. It has the purpose of being a bit sharp, with a scattering of pungent for good measure, in hopes that this will blunt the edge of your forthcoming comments and spare future victims of aforementioned distress. Now unto you, little chirpers, I say this. If you have successfully come to a conclusion about a two-year long relationship based on a singular paragraph non-exhaustively describing a singular event, or you have described the inner workings of a dynamic love affair between two complex – we are all complex, you may NOT argue against that – individuals based on the SAME little paragraph, and you have furthermore effectively categorized the protagonists under neat little subgroups in your head so that you can cost-effectively call my girlfriend pretty much naïve before hailing me a cheater, then there are two scenarios at play here. One makes me sad for the outlook on humanity, the other makes me sadder.
Off with the good news first. I am sad that you spend so much of your time and energy being as creative as evidenced on this thread… on this thread. A married woman sending me some pictures indisputably means we are “smashing”; now that’s creative I say. You could use that creativity and resourcefulness to further other aspects of your life or the life of others. The world would be a much better place if you did; and I would be much obliged. There’s a certain amount of vanity associated with taking a peek at the everyday lives of others by taking time out of your own lives, wouldn’t you say? Granted, we asked for your advice. But there’s also a certain amount of vainglory (slightly different thing, look it up) associated with thinking you have been innately graced with the skillset of an adroit psychologist and the capacity of an enlightened guru for resolving peoples’ troubles with a mere hurtful-albeit-quirky quip – and that we have most definitely not asked for. You can keep your eschatological drama, it truly makes me sad.
And now for the bad news. I am yet more saddened by the fact that some of you may have been so inadvertently scarred in life so as to assume that if I have a conversation about how to save a marriage with an old female acquaintance/friend of mine who asked for advice, while also setting her straight about level of closeness permitted, kisses, “honey” comments and the like and letting her know how absolutely blessed I feel in my current relationship face-to-face, I am indubitably cheating. Who has done this to you? If you have been hurt by someone in like manner please shy away from handing out advice until you have resolved your own issues.
My girlfriend and I are apparently here for your advice, I will obviously not shut the world on us; but neither will I have vain, self-indulgent hypocrites taking guesses at our current status by throwing darts at us blind-folded. I hear your cute little voices piping up already: “How dare you, you little bigot! You do not know us; you have not lived life in our shoes, seen the world through our eyes, heard what our ears have heard – our experiences are no object of your understanding and these experiences can never be condensed in our two lines of a comment. You do not know us… What makes you think you can judge us?”
To which I would aptly retort: “My point exactly… You do not know me; you have not lived life in my shoes, seen the world through my eyes, heard what my ears have heard – my experiences are no object of your understanding and my experiences can never be condensed in a paragraph’s wo