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HeyBeautiful18 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HeyBeautiful18 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:38pm
I don't think I could be a stay at home mom. Definitely not a trophy wife either.

I would like to marry a successful man but I want my own life/success at the same time.

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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:48pm
you can be a trophy wife and still have your own life and success.. 
i think yall are making it something more negative than it needs to be.. i think its just that title.
it could even be empowering maybe.. 

i dont even think im hella pretty at the moment but i feel like regardless a guy should feel like im a prized possession and wanna spoil me. Its up to you if i wanna accept certain things from him (this is the first guy that i really accepted things from so soon).. but yea.. he should feel like hes winning in life if hes with me. period. 
i basically told my current guy that too. he didnt like it and it comes off as cocky but whatevs... every woman should feel like a trophy in most aspects.. they can be way more too though.. and not necessarily through a lucrative career 

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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:50pm
Originally posted by HeyBeautiful18 HeyBeautiful18 wrote:

I would like to marry a successful man but I want my own life/success at the same time.
i concur. i don't want to put myself in the position of that level vulnerability.

often i've seen it lead to pissing contests with so's. and i know the answer is "why would you even be with someone like that?" the fact is that men can be all well and good, but tend switch the game up when it comes money or perceived (loss of) power.  

and frankly, if he could take it, i would support my husband if he wanted to be a stay at home father.


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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:01pm
see... its the title thats bothering you.... 

you can be a wife/partner with the same dynamics as a 'trophy' wife/partner.. 

if i have a career that i genuinely love that allows me to spend time with kids and have a life.. ill do it. 

if i dont love my job and dont need to work.. sheeeit, why would i not have a fun/busy social life (most ppl with careers+ kids cant do that), shop all the time, travel, and just live it up? i would find productive things to do too though..
working is more often than not..is like a chore.. somethin you have to do.  

i didnt get my first job til i was like 21 though so yea.. maybe im the wrong person for this convo


buuuuut.... i can completely see what neka is saying about vulnerability.. i dont like the idea of depending on a person.. or that ish getting thrown in my face.. but it depends on the man.. and its kinda different and can be okay in a marriage.. it depends. 
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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:14pm
Beyonce definitely corsets.

beyonce and justin
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:14pm
i wasnt really seriously considering it when i initially typed the trophy wife/sahw thing... but now i think i feel differently about it. 

i will still get my degree though, for sure. 
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carolina cutie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:15pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by HeyBeautiful18 HeyBeautiful18 wrote:

I would like to marry a successful man but I want my own life/success at the same time.
i concur. i don't want to put myself in the position of that level vulnerability.

often i've seen it lead to pissing contests with so's. and i know the answer is "why would you even be with someone like that?" the fact is that men can be all well and good, but tend switch the game up when it comes money or perceived (loss of) power.  

and frankly, if he could take it, i would support my husband if he wanted to be a stay at home father.


Guuurl! I wouldn't mind it if he worked pt and was home for the kids or vice versa. Seems kinda fun to switch the roles up. He betta have my dinner hot & ready when I get home!Stern SmileLOL

I know I'm debbie downer but just be sure to have your own identity and career plans so when you enter a sahm/sahw situation your life doesn't become all about him.
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:27pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:


 when you enter a sahm/sahw situation your life doesn't become all about him.




Edited by coconess - Aug 30 2013 at 5:29pm
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carolina cutie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:31pm
DeadimjussayinLOL


CR, her entire body looks odd in that picture. What's going on there?

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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:32pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

see... 
i think it's, frankly, nice to have a level of trophy-ism in a marriage. what woman wouldn't want to be seen as beautiful in her husband's eyes? what husband wouldn't want to be adored and lauded by their wife as a provider? what makes it work is (as previously mentioned) the genuine respect and love that 's also there. 

i would definitely live the "sporting life", but i'd want to still work. it would ground and validate me so i could feel constructive in my life. but yeah, i'd always want to look out for myself and be sure that i'm taken care of. 
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