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carolina cutie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:10pm
Whatever you do just make sure you get your education and/or trade first.Stern Smile

I'm use to military (not rich lol) sahms so I am very biased against the idea.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 5:01pm
see... its the title thats bothering you.... 

you can be a wife/partner with the same dynamics as a 'trophy' wife/partner.. 

if i have a career that i genuinely love that allows me to spend time with kids and have a life.. ill do it. 

if i dont love my job and dont need to work.. sheeeit, why would i not have a fun/busy social life (most ppl with careers+ kids cant do that), shop all the time, travel, and just live it up? i would find productive things to do too though..
working is more often than not..is like a chore.. somethin you have to do.  

i didnt get my first job til i was like 21 though so yea.. maybe im the wrong person for this convo


buuuuut.... i can completely see what neka is saying about vulnerability.. i dont like the idea of depending on a person.. or that ish getting thrown in my face.. but it depends on the man.. and its kinda different and can be okay in a marriage.. it depends. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 3:57pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

wait.. 
 i would imagine he's using you for your looks/body. that's really your only job-- be a symbol of a win. you could be a gold digger, play the game, and use him solely for money in return though. liking/loving him is up to you, but realize that if you have kids, he may not want so much responsibility or your post kid body. 

i see the sahm as wanting to be a mom first and foremost, so marrying/picking a well off man secures her ability to fully dedicate time to do so because her kids are provided for. 

whereas a trophy wife is specifically picked for her looks/body. bonus if she plays the game to and is a gold digger.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:54pm
yes I agree, every guy I'm with should worship the ground I walk on...lol ijsEmbarrassednevertheless I am not a trophy or something to make you look good and to boost your ego (cos that's what trophy wives are). I know I would never be comfortable accepting that role in a marriage.

what's wrong with being a wife/partner? why do you have to be a trophy (object) wife? marriage is a partnership and the whole trophy wife/husband thing is far too unequally yolked for my liking anyway.


Edited by CherryBlossom - Aug 30 2013 at 4:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HeyBeautiful18 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:28pm
I wish my boss had better workers.

I have a feeling this bish here right now is gonna say she doesn't wanna stay til close. I'm not staying an extra two hours for her. I already have to work tomorrow when it was suppose to be my weekend off.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:48pm
you can be a trophy wife and still have your own life and success.. 
i think yall are making it something more negative than it needs to be.. i think its just that title.
it could even be empowering maybe.. 

i dont even think im hella pretty at the moment but i feel like regardless a guy should feel like im a prized possession and wanna spoil me. Its up to you if i wanna accept certain things from him (this is the first guy that i really accepted things from so soon).. but yea.. he should feel like hes winning in life if hes with me. period. 
i basically told my current guy that too. he didnt like it and it comes off as cocky but whatevs... every woman should feel like a trophy in most aspects.. they can be way more too though.. and not necessarily through a lucrative career 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HeyBeautiful18 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:38pm
I don't think I could be a stay at home mom. Definitely not a trophy wife either.

I would like to marry a successful man but I want my own life/success at the same time.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:50pm
Originally posted by HeyBeautiful18 HeyBeautiful18 wrote:

I would like to marry a successful man but I want my own life/success at the same time.
i concur. i don't want to put myself in the position of that level vulnerability.

often i've seen it lead to pissing contests with so's. and i know the answer is "why would you even be with someone like that?" the fact is that men can be all well and good, but tend switch the game up when it comes money or perceived (loss of) power.  

and frankly, if he could take it, i would support my husband if he wanted to be a stay at home father.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:20pm
interesting... 

neither sound that bad to me (if thats what i wanted) as long as there is respect for both.. i can agree with cherry about settling.. 

as a SAHw/m.. respect me enough to not expect ish like dinner being ready, clean house, etc.. a big fear of mines is having a husband who was on some, 'well you stay at home all day so i expect blah blah blah when i get home' 

as a trophy wife.. id still need there to be respect.. not some, 'dont speak til spoken to, youre just here to look good bish' - type stuff.. he still would need to really like/love me.

i dont think im a gold digger. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 30 2013 at 4:29pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

cherry, i dont feel like i have plenty of time to figure it out. i feel old and i am behind... you already have your degree right? i should too. 
plus i like to always have a plan.. i dont like to not know what im doing. 



yes I do...I would have done an MA too if it wasn't for finance issues but yeah I enjoyed it

...whatever you decide though just make sure you have a solid educational background to fall back on. 

personally, I couldn't ever be a trophy wife (not trying to sound conceited but honestly I'm too smart and proud and driven for that kind of lifestyle) or a sahm (well at least not now, kids are not even on my radar right nowLOL).


Edited by CherryBlossom - Aug 30 2013 at 4:42pm
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