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Raise Your Game! Intelligence power sex appeal

 
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your_flyness View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote your_flyness Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 10 2009 at 2:59pm
Great post! I am actually reading/planning to read most of the books that you recommend.

Originally posted by Totallycool Totallycool wrote:

One form of exercise  I HIGHLY recommend is bellydance. Not hip hop (hoochified and often too masculine). Not ballet(too rigid). Bellydance. You will get mesmerizing hips! Seriously, after an hour workout I can already feel more of a swing to my walk! It makes you more flexible AND very graceful. Believe me. Do some stuff on youtube and youll see then get some intrusctional DVD's.


Totallycool, which bellydance DVDs do you recommend? I love dance (including hip-hop and ballet, lol) and I took a bellydance class once, which was a lot of fun. I've been planning to get a bellydancing DVD but I can never decide which one to get.
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Totallycool View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Totallycool Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 11 2009 at 12:20am
I listed all of them in an old post in the excersice forum I believe.   It shouldnt be hard to search on it.
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CynaminBrownGrl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote CynaminBrownGrl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2009 at 9:09am
I think this is great...but if I may say my piece...I hope this doesn't start an uproar of people getting upset but this is just my opinion...

Ladies, I think its so important to feel comfortable in ur own skin, with who u r. Work on u for YOU...not to get attention from men or to get a bf. I have always been outspoken, confident, social, I love to joke around, I have no problem speaking to anyone and I get along with most people. This has all been instilled in me since birth. If ur kind of shy or whatever and u aren't happy with certain aspects of urself, u can change that...but change it for u. Be about u...get involved w/ urself. Do things that make u happy. Feel comfortable being u...being alone. Hell, I've been in a relationship for 2 yrs and I still do things like go to the movies by myself cuz it feels good...I like doing things by myself sometimes. When ur focusing on u and not even thinkibg of gaining attention from men, that's when they come to u, cuz ur happiness with urself is so visible.

Men do not do this. They don't devote themselves to buying millions of books to get women. Why? Cuz women r always looking for them. Women buy hundreds of books based on getting men, finding a husband. If anything, why not buy a book on becoming a better u, loving urself, whatever makes u happy, cuz then when u do find a man, he will b an addition to an already happy and fulfilling life and not the reason for ur happiness. As women we hold the power but its like we don't know it...we spend our money on books that tell is how to act and what to do to get a man...hell the men should b jumping thru hoops to get us.

I don't have a problem getting attention from men and I'm sure a lot of u don't either. Just don't look for the attention. Be focused on u. Gain confidence from working on u and that will show. I don't think u all need books telling u how to get a man. Just b u...whatever u wanna work on...work on it for u and u'll bring forth great and positive things including great men.

I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. You ladies seem intelligent and I'm sure u have so much to offer any man. Good luck.
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~*ItsCameron*~ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ~*ItsCameron*~ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2009 at 3:24pm

thanks, I agree w/ you cynamin. there are a few things that I want to change, so but it is for me first and foremost, not for anyone else. Some people actually think its good that I'm kinda shy, but personally I don't. If I change that, it'll be for me. 

I just wanna be at the top of my game, and focus on being the best me.


Edited by ~*ItsCameron*~ - Apr 12 2009 at 3:27pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Totallycool Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 1:38am
Originally posted by CynaminBrownGrl CynaminBrownGrl wrote:

I think this is great...but if I may say my piece...I hope this doesn't start an uproar of people getting upset but this is just my opinion...

Ladies, I think its so important to feel comfortable in ur own skin, with who u r. Work on u for YOU...not to get attention from men or to get a bf. I have always been outspoken, confident, social, I love to joke around, I have no problem speaking to anyone and I get along with most people. This has all been instilled in me since birth. If ur kind of shy or whatever and u aren't happy with certain aspects of urself, u can change that...but change it for u. Be about u...get involved w/ urself. Do things that make u happy. Feel comfortable being u...being alone. Hell, I've been in a relationship for 2 yrs and I still do things like go to the movies by myself cuz it feels good...I like doing things by myself sometimes. When ur focusing on u and not even thinkibg of gaining attention from men, that's when they come to u, cuz ur happiness with urself is so visible.

Men do not do this. They don't devote themselves to buying millions of books to get women. Why? Cuz women r always looking for them. Women buy hundreds of books based on getting men, finding a husband. If anything, why not buy a book on becoming a better u, loving urself, whatever makes u happy, cuz then when u do find a man, he will b an addition to an already happy and fulfilling life and not the reason for ur happiness. As women we hold the power but its like we don't know it...we spend our money on books that tell is how to act and what to do to get a man...hell the men should b jumping thru hoops to get us.

I don't have a problem getting attention from men and I'm sure a lot of u don't either. Just don't look for the attention. Be focused on u. Gain confidence from working on u and that will show. I don't think u all need books telling u how to get a man. Just b u...whatever u wanna work on...work on it for u and u'll bring forth great and positive things including great men.

I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. You ladies seem intelligent and I'm sure u have so much to offer any man. Good luck.
 
I TOTALLY agree with the bolded. However, dont think that I did this just for men,that is truely just the cherry on top. I have been EMPOWERED in ALL areas of my life by these books. I found a better job, I made some friends, and I am sincere. I dont put on a face or change into someone else. Sometimes we are missing crucial parts of our development. I was taught to value brains and NOTHING about outward beauty and grew up with a single UBER INDEPENDENT mother, thank God for her spirit. There are just some truths that people dont know thats gonna keep them held back or something they need to hear from someone else as a refresher.
 
I dont want any woman to become a manufactured  clonelike the media wants us to be. I just want them to know how to add that EXTRA sparkle to their shine. This is indeed self improvement. Embracing ur unique qualities and quarks is the best thing to do. How to use them to work for you not against you. 
 
Another thing that I will say is that as a college youngster and artist i am, predictably, always striving to find myself.lol. However, I contain an air of confidence and calmness and get the best compliments ever such as:
You seem very comfortable with who you are.
You seem very comfortable here.
 
 
I love those compliments. Although, I must say it truely is much better when u are actually comfortable with yourself. An acting coach once told me to get to know atleast ten actors at every audition or atleast say hi. This warms ur enviroment and u will see them in future auditons even jobs. Apply this to work school etc. Make yourself at home. Take the intiative and create your own team! Dont be, as he said, sheeple.lol, constantly only following the leader. another one of my strategies. Think of everyone as ur well known equal.


Edited by Totallycool - Jul 27 2009 at 6:05pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Totallycool Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 1:55am
Originally posted by ~*ItsCameron*~ ~*ItsCameron*~ wrote:

thanks, I agree w/ you cynamin. there are a few things that I want to change, so but it is for me first and foremost, not for anyone else. Some people actually think its good that I'm kinda shy, but personally I don't. If I change that, it'll be for me. 

I just wanna be at the top of my game, and focus on being the best me.
 
That is how I feel. I am shy by nature and alot of times that comes out in my voice, ofcourse I have a very soft voice which can sound shy or sad if I dont project, gotta work on that. Anyways, I understand u. On one hand I thank GOD I am not one of those loud obnoxious women who just get on my last nerves, on the other hand. Being shy can deter you away from alot of opportunities. Looking and being  aloof gets you nowhere. You might as well being invisible from my experience. This isnt the 1st grade. Noones gonna hold your hand and introduce you to the rest of the class! I must say that this is a very competitive world and youve gotta make a way for yourself. That doesnt mean being sneaky and stabbing others in the back. It just means you must take the INITIATIVE to do things. That is leadership. THe problem with shyness is that it can deter you from the confidence to take the initiative which is in direct corelation with leadership.
 
Anyways, theere is a balance. many arent even close to having it. You can be outgoing and always striving for a goal but then continue to remain fairly private if you choose. You can learn to love and appreciate people and still truely love your time at home alone. I think FOR ME, shyness is attached to fear of rejection. Once I stopped fearing rejection and replaced that anxiety with appreciation of the person I was focusing my energy on, I automatically started comming out of my shell. Not to mention I was forced to go many places alone, so now I use my single number as an advantage not as an insecurity. You will learn, as I still am.
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carameldelite View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carameldelite Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 8:48am
Great post. I love the POV from both sides, and they are all valid points.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Totallycool Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2009 at 8:03pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeybrown2777 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 16 2009 at 8:56pm
This is a very great thread. Very empowering. Totallycool, thanks much needed advice. I also enjoyed and agree with CynaminBrownGrl
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote D'Besteva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 20 2009 at 4:53pm
[QUOTE=CynaminBrownGrl]I think this is great...but if I may say my piece...I hope this doesn't start an uproar of people getting upset but this is just my opinion...

Ladies, I think its so important to feel comfortable in ur own skin, with who u r. Work on u for YOU...not to get attention from men or to get a bf. I have always been outspoken, confident, social, I love to joke around, I have no problem speaking to anyone and I get along with most people. This has all been instilled in me since birth. If ur kind of shy or whatever and u aren't happy with certain aspects of urself, u can change that...but change it for u. Be about u...get involved w/ urself. Do things that make u happy. Feel comfortable being u...being alone. Hell, I've been in a relationship for 2 yrs and I still do things like go to the movies by myself cuz it feels good...I like doing things by myself sometimes. When ur focusing on u and not even thinkibg of gaining attention from men, that's when they come to u, cuz ur happiness with urself is so visible.

Men do not do this. They don't devote themselves to buying millions of books to get women. Why? Cuz women r always looking for them. Women buy hundreds of books based on getting men, finding a husband. If anything, why not buy a book on becoming a better u, loving urself, whatever makes u happy, cuz then when u do find a man, he will b an addition to an already happy and fulfilling life and not the reason for ur happiness. As women we hold the power but its like we don't know it...we spend our money on books that tell is how to act and what to do to get a man...hell the men should b jumping thru hoops to get us.

I don't have a problem getting attention from men and I'm sure a lot of u don't either. Just don't look for the attention. Be focused on u. Gain confidence from working on u and that will show. I don't think u all need books telling u how to get a man. Just b u...whatever u wanna work on...work on it for u and u'll bring forth great and positive things including great men.

I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. You ladies seem intelligent and I'm sure u have so much to offer any man. Good luck
Do you have any books you would be able to recommend in finding you... or something to that nature
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