Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Books
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - QUOTES, QUOTES,QUOTES
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
 

QUOTES, QUOTES,QUOTES

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 115116117118119 197>






Author
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:17pm
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?



One hundred people who don't do dick.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:20pm
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan;
"It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."

"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"

God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."

Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."

God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."

Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:24pm
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?




They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.


Edited by Benni - Aug 21 2014 at 5:24pm
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:29pm
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?




A. Polaroids.
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:34pm
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.

Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says,
"Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."


The mortician thinks this is strange.   Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body.   Gomer takes a look at the face and says,
"Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."


"What?   He had two a**holes?!"   exclaims the mortician.

"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say,

'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:39pm
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but only one can get into the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven.
Elizabeth takes out a douche bottle and douches herself.


St. Peter asks Dolly what makes her special enough to get into Heaven.
Dolly opens up her shirt and flashes her chest.

St. Peter lets Queen Elizabeth in instead of Dolly.
When Dolly asks St. Peter why Elizabeth was let in,
Peter replies, "A royal flush beats a wild pair."
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:49pm
lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said,   "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.   His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.

A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said,   "You're cute!"   Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute."

She asked,   "What happened to 'beautiful'?",

His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 21 2014 at 5:54pm
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs.
The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

The old woman said   "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."


Edited by Benni - Aug 21 2014 at 5:54pm
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2014 at 3:19pm
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first,

the lesson afterward."




– Vernon Law
Back to Top
Benni View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 19 2011
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 16871
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2014 at 3:21pm
"Who looks outside,   dreams;

who looks inside,   awakes."




Carl Jung

Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
House of CB London
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
The Elite Hair Care Sorority
Electric Cherry Hair
Hair Extensions Wefted Hair Wigs and More
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Dime Curves Enhancement Shake
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Switch Up your Look with a protective Style
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 115116117118119 197>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down