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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:00am
A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!"

Doctor replies, "Well, you'll just have to be a 'little' patient."

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:03am
"Injustice in the end produces independence."


Voltaire

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:08am
"Service which is rendered without joy,   helps neither the servant nor the served.
But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy."



Mahatma Gandhi

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:10am
"We are more often treacherous through weakness than through calculation."


~François VI de la Rochefoucault
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:15am
“In the eyeball there is a clash between creation and reflection.

The two-way globes of sight are magical revolving doors where the creative spirit meets itself in the created spirit.

The eye that surveys the universe is the universe's own eye.”




― Jostein Gaarder, Maya
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:18am
“Truth is stranger than fiction,   but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities;   Truth isn't.”


― Mark Twain
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:21am
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?




A: Spoiled milk.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:22pm
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?




A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:25pm
Q: long and hard and has cum in it?[





A: A cu-cum-ber
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:26pm
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?


Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”
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