Pro-Black Men Who We’re Surprised Dated Or Marri

I don't hate white people. I work around enough of them to know that not all of them are raging devils with horns and pickforks out to destroy black people. Some of them are nice. Some of them I dig on a professional level. 

I'm a bleeding heart type of chic myself. I love all people on a basic human level despite myself. Can't help it. I'm actually kind of a wimp. That's just how I was built. I'd be giving out free hugs and sunshine and rainbows to everybody if I didn't have the sense to guard my heart.. and the knowledge to understand, not just the history of race relations in America, but the dire, prevailing state of my community. 

If my people didn't mean as much to me as they do, I could easily be beguiled by the charms of some of these white men that be pushing up on me. But as it stands, I AM pro-black to the mutha core and if that means I have to block and dodge these white men's advances like Neo dodges bullets, I dodge until the day I die. I won't even allow myself to get that close. This is a vow I've made to myself. 

It is a conscious effort. 

For me, the ramifications of a so called pro-black person marrying white are multifaceted and layered (most of which have been covered in this topic already), but most people's initial reaction to seeing this phenomenon don't automatically go that deep. Our reaction to it is on the surface. Like BAM! Right there in your face. 

As a woman who wears the pro-black badge with honor, what message would it send to all the wonderful black men in this fight with me, to my beautiful black nephews who I love with all my heart, all facing the SAME adversities I'm facing as a dreaded proverb and byword in this nation if I had a white man on my arms?

Would it cancel out the work I do for my people? Underneath the surface it would. Because we see in our faces thus become internalized as "Maybe I'm just not good enough." A breeding ground for deep seated insecurities, self hatred, idolization of those who are apparently "good enough". 

We keep chasing the dream but the dream will forever be elusive if  what we show the world in the most intimate of our relationships don't appear to align with philosophy. It cancels it out. And the cycle of our destruction continues because the "work" is nothing more than a band aid over the pain. Like pouring salt on a womb.