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Prioritizing Work and Family

 
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purpulicious01 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 12:17pm
uppitynegroid's thread got me wondering: 

How do you ladies prioritize your work and family? 
*If you don't mind, please state your age or which age bracket you fall into (i.e. early/mid/late 20s, 30s, 40s, etc) *


I'm in my early 20s, and personally, even though I love the field I'm in (mental health), my family takes precedent over my work and I would put my career on hold for my own family. I graduated college and have plans to go back to get an advanced degree, but I knew I wanted to start my family an early age (early-mid 20s) and be a stay at home mother to raise my children and most likely homeschool them.

However, not everyone delays their career to pursue a family life. When I was in college, many of my female professors delayed starting their own families in order to pursue an advanced degree and as soon as they graduated, they started having children (I remember one year in particular, almost every single one of my professors, recent phD grads and in their early to mid 30s, were expecting at the exact same time). 


To those women who are pursuing a career/education AND want families, would/did you: delay starting your own family (marriage, children, etc) in pursuit of your career/education? If so, why? OR delay pursuing a career/education, so that you could start your own family? If so, why? 



I think this can be a healthy discussion. Let's try to keep this civil.



Edited by purpulicious01 - Aug 11 2013 at 2:10pm
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texasmami0117 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote texasmami0117 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 12:54pm
It is really hard to give your all to a career or school when you already have a family. But then again, having a family can be your best motivator.
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Katrenia View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Katrenia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 1:25pm
This juggling/balancing of career and family has never been easy for me.
I stayed home for six years after my daughter was born. I went to work once my daughter started school, these schools require so much parent participation and I refuse to let my daughter be that child whose parents aren't involved.
Since my income isn't the dominant household income I attend more school events than daddy does.

I wish I had the answers but this is a challenge.


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zolloh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote zolloh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 1:42pm
Both my SO and I delayed. We are in our 30s. He wanted to get more established in his field which he now is. I wanted to wait to till i finished my doctorate next year before having kids. But fvck all that, I'm getting off bc, that dissertation will be written somehow. I always wanted have the freedom to be a SAHM and home school our kids if I want to and he wants to retire in 10yrs. 

Only thing I regret about our plan is that all our nieces and nephews are at least 6yrs old, my kids wont have same-age cousins to grow up with Disapprove
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote morenaloca Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 2:11pm
I'm in my early twenties. I started college at 15 so now I'm focusing on my career. I want to start a family within the next few years though. When I have a baby, I am going to be a stay at home mom and I'm going to turn my side hustle into a business, since it is something I can do at home.

I admire women who can have a career they love and be a mother. It looks difficult!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oh_so_moody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 3:17pm
Refer to Uppity's thread for my thoughts on this issue. Lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote csungrl09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:10pm
i've delayed having a family for my education. Will be starting law school tomorrow and for three years, i plan to be dedicated to that. My fiance is being really supportive even though i know he wants to kill me for making him wait. I want a family but I also want to be 100% willing and able to provide time, love, money, shelter,etc. to that family.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oh_so_moody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:14pm
Originally posted by csungrl09 csungrl09 wrote:

i've delayed having a family for my education. Will be starting law school tomorrow and for three years, i plan to be dedicated to that. My fiance is being really supportive even though i know he wants to kill me for making him wait. I want a family but I also want to be 100% willing and able to provide time, love, money, shelter,etc. to that family.


Congrats girl!

Which school did u decide on?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:50pm
I didn't have a choice really.  I didn't want to start a family as a single parent so working on my career goals were the only option.  When I did get married in my late thirties my career goals were for the most part achieved which gave me the freedom to focus on family goals. 

I guess if I did have a choice I would have chosen marriage and family over career.  My kids have given me more joy then my career ever has.  Now I do have the benefits of both, but I have scaled back working inorder to raise my boys right.  It's too hard IMO to try to attempt both successfully.  Some women can, but most who try are stressed out to the max.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 8:24pm
Early 30s, married with 3 kids.  Did the family first for the most part.  I had a sufficient career that allowed me to work from home while they were really little.  Went back to school at 28 and am now on my second career.  Family HAS to come first in my opinion.  Your job doesn't care about you.  I definitely agree with the poster who said it's harder with kids but that they are a great motivator.  I don't know any other way than how I did it.  I do wish I would have finished my nursing degree before having kids but wishing never got me anywhere.
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