Print Page | Close Window

Negative/Positive Feedback on Natural Hair?

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: The Archives
Forum Name: Hair Care Archives
Forum Description: Old Topics and Posts
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=79481
Printed Date: Sep 17 2019 at 5:49pm


Topic: Negative/Positive Feedback on Natural Hair?
Posted By: Exodus
Subject: Negative/Positive Feedback on Natural Hair?
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 10:33am
Hello,
 
I am curious to know what type of feedback you ladies recieve from wearing your hair natural. Is it mostly negative or positive or mixed?
 
Living in a big city like Chicago it is not uncommon to see women rocking their natural hair. More and more ladies are no longer afraid to embrace their natural hair. However, we are still the minority in a society full of chemical warfare. For the most part my natural experience has been pretty good.  The funny thing is, most of my negative feedback has came from people who are the closest to me such as family. Just to give an example....
 
Negative Comments
"You look like Chicken George's wife"-Father
"You must want to go back to Africa"-Mother
"Your hair looks nappy and dry" Mother
"Your hair looks like mine"-Father (Think of a box cut)
"You look like Michael Jackson with a mop on"-Father (I had my hair in kinky twists)
"You know how you natural women are"-Boyfriend
"Why don't you just get a perm"-Boyfriend
"Why are you wearing an afro? We already know you're black?"-Stranger on the street
"You must be the pretty version of Whoopi Goldberg"-Classmate
 
I generally don't take these nasty comments too serious, but sometimes they can hurt. My parents don't mean harm, they are just country and old school and aren't use to seeing a lot of women with natural hair.
 
POSTIVE COMMENTS
"Your hair is so pretty"-Stranger
"It's about time us black women stopped putting chemicals in our heads"-Stranher
"I love the fro"-Stranger
"Your hair is sooo....natural! I wish mine was like that"-Friend
"Your hair is beautiful"-Stranger
"Your hair is nice and thick and healthy"-Stranger
"Those twists are what's up"-Stranger
 
You get the point....I have received much more positive feedback than negative when I think about it. And the positve comments tend to be more common among strangers. Interesting isn't it?
 



Replies:
Posted By: ticklepink
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 10:56am

 I havent really got anything terrible but it annoys me a bit when people say that you should relax your hair simply becuase they think all Black women move one that step. I dont think people understand that Im not going toConfused.

 My mum had this friend who would always suggest that she could give me a weave now my hairs got longer, I told her no thanks. I happen to know that this woman is never out of weaves and says she hates her napply Black peoples hair so it offends me that she assume I should feel the same.
 
 White people tend to love it but Blacks not neccesarily


Posted By: Only1biancab
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 11:04am
Most of the compliments I get come from strangers too. 
Positive:
  "I like your hair.  It's so unique and makes you stand out.  Can I touch it?"--guy at club

  "That's how I want my hair to look."--girl on the street

  "I like your locs.  They look good on you"--guy at the club (it was really braids)

  "I like your hair.  You look beautiful." --guy at the club

  "I like your hair."--guy I was dating

  "I like your hair it's so cute.  I wish my hair did that."--coworker

  "I like your hair."--coworker

  "Oh I love your hair."--classmate.  She said that every other day.

  "Your hair is so pretty."--mom.  Every once in a while she'll stop what she's doing and say that and she used to hate my hair. 

 "Your hair looks nice.  What did you do to it?"  That's my grandmother and she used to hate my hair too.   She still says I should press it.

Negative:

"You look really crazy right now"--guy friend

Mom saying that I should texturize it.

Grandma saying that I should press it.

Pastor making comments about nappy hair and I'm the only one there with any.


Posted By: Exodus
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 11:16am
Originally posted by ticklepink ticklepink wrote:

 I havent really got anything terrible but it annoys me a bit when people say that you should relax your hair simply becuase they think all Black women move one that step. I dont think people understand that Im not going toConfused.

 My mum had this friend who would always suggest that she could give me a weave now my hairs got longer, I told her no thanks. I happen to know that this woman is never out of weaves and says she hates her napply Black peoples hair so it offends me that she assume I should feel the same.
 
 White people tend to love it but Blacks not neccesarily
 
 
 
Yea...my boyfriend has decided to give up on the notion that I will NEVER again perm my hair. I don't know why people think that you have to feel like them or wear your hair a certain way. I respect people with perms and I would just like the same respect with my hair being natural.
 
And YES!! White people love our natural hair. I had a white friend who told me that she wished her hair was my texuture! She said she is bored with her straight limp hair. LOL. It's funny how white people perm their hair to acheive a curl pattern, and blacks relax their hair to take away the curl pattern. We all are never satisfied. LOL. LOL


Posted By: Exodus
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 11:19am
Originally posted by Only1biancab Only1biancab wrote:

Most of the compliments I get come from strangers too. 
Positive:
  "I like your hair.  It's so unique and makes you stand out.  Can I touch it?"--guy at club

  "That's how I want my hair to look."--girl on the street

  "I like your locs.  They look good on you"--guy at the club (it was really braids)

  "I like your hair.  You look beautiful." --guy at the club

  "I like your hair."--guy I was dating

  "I like your hair it's so cute.  I wish my hair did that."--coworker

  "I like your hair."--coworker

  "Oh I love your hair."--classmate.  She said that every other day.

  "Your hair is so pretty."--mom.  Every once in a while she'll stop what she's doing and say that and she used to hate my hair. 

 "Your hair looks nice.  What did you do to it?"  That's my grandmother and she used to hate my hair too.   She still says I should press it.

Negative:

"You look really crazy right now"--guy friend

Mom saying that I should texturize it.

Grandma saying that I should press it.

Pastor making comments about nappy hair and I'm the only one there with any.
 
OMG at the comment from your pastor! Why would he be discussing nappy hair? Jesus had nappy hair! So what?
 
Yea...I get the "you should press it out" all the time. They always say..."It would be so pretty." As if it isn't pretty in it's natural state. Angry


Posted By: Gigi-07
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 11:38am
Yes, a lot of white folks love love love our hair! And to think I hated it for so long...


Posted By: Only1biancab
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 11:59am
Originally posted by Exodus Exodus wrote:

OMG at the comment from your pastor! Why would he be discussing nappy hair? Jesus had nappy hair! So what?
 
Yea...I get the "you should press it out" all the time. They always say..."It would be so pretty." As if it isn't pretty in it's natural state. Angry

He's overall nice to me, but he likes to tell people EXACTLY what he thinks.  He likes keeping it real I guess, lol.  He told my mom straight up that he didn't like her hair when she was natural for a couple of months.

My grandma is so old school.  She used to say the way to get a nice young man was to straighten my hair and dress up.  Now I get lots of attention, so it's been a while since I heard that "press it" stuff.  Long time since I heard that texturizer thing too.


Posted By: Drea1974
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 12:04pm
I have told this before but like everyone else has said my comments come from those who know me and other fellow sistas:
 
Dad just 20 minutes ago when I put a pic of my comb twists on my MSN messanger: What's up with the hair, Asked him if he liked it and he said "well it's interesting to say the least."
 
Neighbor on my right: "Baldilocks."
 
Neighbor's sister: "Miss D why don't you relax that mess?"
 
My mother: "Girl! That hair is NAPPPYYY!!"
 
Passerby that I don't know, but it was 2 black women: "Sistas like her are the reason people still think of us as slaves!" She thought I didn't hear it I told her SHE was the one thinking like the slave, straightening that hair to fit in and kept walking.
 
These are the type of things I hear from black women, my father not withstanding. And they used to hurt me but I could care less anymore. one more and THIS is a good one:
 
A fellow coworker that is from Nigeria, she goes to Deltech during the day: " Why you not put some creme in your head? You won't get no where in dis world wit hair like dat." No joke people, she said this to me.
 
I laugh now, because people are still in the dark and I am not. I have a few health problems and I know that the hair crack contributed to it. I am better now and know no one can love me or my hair more than me.
 


Posted By: Exodus
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 12:25pm
Originally posted by Drea1974 Drea1974 wrote:

I have told this before but like everyone else has said my comments come from those who know me and other fellow sistas:
 
Dad just 20 minutes ago when I put a pic of my comb twists on my MSN messanger: What's up with the hair, Asked him if he liked it and he said "well it's interesting to say the least."
 
Neighbor on my right: "Baldilocks."
 
Neighbor's sister: "Miss D why don't you relax that mess?"
 
My mother: "Girl! That hair is NAPPPYYY!!"
 
Passerby that I don't know, but it was 2 black women: "Sistas like her are the reason people still think of us as slaves!" She thought I didn't hear it I told her SHE was the one thinking like the slave, straightening that hair to fit in and kept walking.
 
These are the type of things I hear from black women, my father not withstanding. And they used to hurt me but I could care less anymore. one more and THIS is a good one:
 
A fellow coworker that is from Nigeria, she goes to Deltech during the day: " Why you not put some creme in your head? You won't get no where in dis world wit hair like dat." No joke people, she said this to me.
 
I laugh now, because people are still in the dark and I am not. I have a few health problems and I know that the hair crack contributed to it. I am better now and know no one can love me or my hair more than me.
 
 
To the ignorant comment from the black women...You are right! SHE is the reason why we will continue to be thought of as slaves! She is the one who has conformed. She is the one who probably hates herself!. Angry  And to the nigerian woman!! Now she knows.....!!!!!
First off...her HAIR looks just like yours after she takes the cream out of it! Second of all how would she have liked it if you told her that she would get nowhere in life with that silly accent of hers and that she should learn to speak kings english???? 
 
People really amaze me. They are extremely ignorant. It's such a shame.


Posted By: Drea1974
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 12:33pm
Thank you Exodus, cause I feel the same way. I would in no way talk a relaxed woman into going natural, like other have said some are definitely not ready for it. But I have a right to be proud of my hair and who I am and also the right not to take crap like they were spewing from anyone!


Posted By: nappystraight
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 1:40pm
I can't believe your pastor said that, Bianca! Was it while he was on the pulpit? My grandad is a pastor, and he has made comments when it was relaxed and natural, but he's family.  Well, if your pastor is close like that, I can understand him commenting, but it sounded like he said it in front of the congregation, since you said you're the only one with nappy hair.


Posted By: BlackstarBlue
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 2:21pm
Originally posted by Gigi-07 Gigi-07 wrote:

Yes, a lot of white folks love love love our hair! And to think I hated it for so long...
 
My white ex looved my hair straight/weaved. I get positive comments from black people all the time.


Posted By: LucianGoddess
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 2:27pm
My hairdresser told me "Don't let anyone ever tell you your hair isn't beautiful the way it. It doesn't need to be straight to be beautiful!"

My family has accepted it VERY well:
-My youngest sister (13) has all natural hair after having a perm (at age 10) that broke of ALL of her long, pretty, thick hair.
- My cousin has also made the switch to natural after seeing my hair

I really haven't experienced anything negative, to tell you the truth!


Posted By: Only1biancab
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 5:00pm
Originally posted by nappystraight nappystraight wrote:

I can't believe your pastor said that, Bianca! Was it while he was on the pulpit? My grandad is a pastor, and he has made comments when it was relaxed and natural, but he's family.  Well, if your pastor is close like that, I can understand him commenting, but it sounded like he said it in front of the congregation, since you said you're the only one with nappy hair.

Usually he's in the pulpit when he says something about nappy hair.  One time while he was over at our house to pray over our new home, he said a few things about it to me and another visitor.  When he said it to my mom, he said it to her face.

I'm not close to him and he's not family lol. But I don't take it hard, that mindset is everywhere.  Even in the church.


Posted By: Romeosgirl81
Date Posted: Jul 10 2007 at 7:53pm
well i have had mostly positive responses, today i wore an afro puff! i dont think it's that serious, the ones that are saying negaive things about our hair is probably ashamed of their own hair, and thats why that want to talk down on our hair!


Posted By: Curly0405
Date Posted: Jul 11 2007 at 10:46pm
When Ifirst chopped, my mother freaked. She didn't say much it was the looks. They made me feel horrible. I put on a front to her face but they hurt. My dad didn't understand. They tolerate it now, but the think i should stop doing things to it.  Guilty pleasure Big%20smile. Strangers like the color,texture etc. My friends tell me all the time they wish they had my hair because I have "good hair". I tell them hair is hair, love your own. There is no such thing as good or bad. White people do love our hair. When I first started a job, i had braids because i wasn't sure my hair would be accepted. After i had to take them out, a lady at my job told me she liked my hair better that way. Funny how that works !


Posted By: Booshaitian
Date Posted: Jul 12 2007 at 10:19am
All my friends are encouraging to go back to natural!..
My mom is 100% for it, since she's getting old, and can't
perm my hair anymore! My little sis is waiting to see
if my hair does grow faster when it's natural!..
we shall see what happens!..:)...my white b/f is
excited for me!..:)


Posted By: softnkinky
Date Posted: Jul 12 2007 at 10:43am

It is so unfortunate that we are 7 years into the 21 Century and natural sisters are still being ridiculed for wearing their hair the way they want to.

I am a Teacher of High Schoolers, so you all know that I hear it!! But to my surprise, I have not heard it as much as I thought that I would. One kid did call me Florida Evans (Good Times) LOL!! I thought it was funny, my hubby cracks up when I tell him.

Some times I can feel bad, and alone with my kinks. I wish more women would take the natural leap of faith.

I shake my head when I see folks running for the relaxer,and their hair is all eaten up by the chemical. Don't they realize that is one reason why they are losing alot of their hair ? My sis-n-law put a relaxer in her 2 year olds hair...WTF??? THen she asks me, what am I doing for my daughters ages 6 and 1 hair...Well, I am not using harsh chemicals to burn their scalps clean off in...Wacko



Posted By: mstoya25
Date Posted: Jul 12 2007 at 11:41am
My biological family hates and my in-laws love it.....I think by now my family knows to keep whatever comments to themselves....My mom will still be like I just can't understand why you cut off all your long thick hair to walk around like that.....I'm like ok ma, your hair isn't long anymore and you've been relaxing for how long????  It grows but she breaks off half as much as she grows, faithfully gets a touch up every month and color on top of that....It is amazing that her hair is still as full as it is....I know I'm not relaxing anymore and that's that and whomever doesn't like it can kick rocks.  I have never had anyone on the street say something outta the way, but once back in '98 this b-tch told me a need a perm while I was at my bar working.....Let's just say she should still be thankful all I did was spit in her drank...LOL!!!  My son wants to touch my hair all the time, far more than when I was relaxed so that's all the justification I need.


Posted By: Cocorita
Date Posted: Jul 12 2007 at 3:44pm
Yesterday I went to the computer store to pick up some high gloss paper. And I asked the clerk where it was before she told me where it was she said, "I love your hair." I had it out and I was self conscious because it was humid outside. Then another clerk (Asian) came up to me and said the same thing. "I wish I had hair like yours, mine is so straight and blah." Shocked (Didn't know some straight-haired people felt like that; they buy flat irons to make their flat hair more flatConfused)
 
She wondered how I got it to look like that, I told her it was natural. She asked if I put a comb in it LOL. I said not everyday and she asked does it tangle easily. I said it tangles yes, but it isn't a complete hassle to detangle it--been doing it whole life, I am used to it.


Posted By: sLeepy x0x
Date Posted: Jul 12 2007 at 3:57pm
negative:
- I hate when my natural hair is considered as a phase or rebellion (mostly family says that)
 



Print Page | Close Window