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Spreadsheet

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Printed Date: Nov 17 2018 at 1:46pm


Topic: Spreadsheet
Posted By: Senior Detective
Subject: Spreadsheet
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 2:40pm



Replies:
Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 2:45pm
not the spreadsheet I was expecting.

A couple should have sex more often than that, period.


Posted By: yaya24
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 2:46pm
Awww his feelings are hurt.
Poor hubby.



Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 2:59pm

Frustrated husband creates spreadsheet of wife's excuses for not having sex with him

The man compiled an Excel document showing a month's worth of his wife's responses to his requests for sex, which she then shared online

For a whole month the amorous husband jotted down every response from his other half when he asked her for intimacy
For a whole month the amorous husband jotted down every response from his other half when he asked her for intimacy Photo: Alamy

By 

4:50PM BST 20 Jul 2014

Comments http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10979082/Frustrated-husband-creates-spreadsheet-of-wifes-excuses-for-not-having-sex-with-him.html#disqus_thread" rel="nofollow - 589 Comments

A sexually-frustrated husband compiled a spreadsheet charting a whole month’s worth of his wife’s excuses for refusing to have sex with him, including “I might be getting sick” and “I still don’t feel 100%”.

For a whole month the amorous husband jotted down every response from his other half when he asked her for intimacy, which elicited replies such as “I feel gross” and “I’m watching the show”, which he claims was a re-run of a Friends episode.

The unnamed man then collated the information and put it into an excel document before emailing it to his wife as she arrived at an airport ahead of a 10-day business trip.

Excuses also include "I'm exhausted", "I need a shower" (didn't shower until next morning), "I'm trying to watch the movie" (fell asleep 15 min later) along with a few cases of not feeling too well and a number of ‘non-verbals’.

Shocked at the email, the anonymous lady tried to get in touch with her husband but found he had cut contact with her.

In the end, she decided to share her husband's endeavour with users of social networking site Reddit by uploading the spreadsheet.

Spreadsheet that the sexually-frustated husband made

She then wrote: "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone.

"He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

"Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment."

The spreadsheet, which has since been deleted, quickly went viral with people taking both sides in the debate.

Most people criticised the husband's "immaturity" and said he should have gone about it in a different way.

One Reddit user wrote: "There are so many ways this could have been communicated better, but instead he came up with some bizarre hit and run with a spreadsheet method which I'd say is actually going to be really hard to come back to a normal relationship from."

Another user said: "Your husband is expressing legitimate concerns in an extremely immature and passive aggressive way. Clearly, the communication style in your relationship is sh*t. Fix it or don't, it's your marriage."

But another user added: "Maybe her husband has got sick and tired of being totally and utterly ignored for months on end, has had enough and wants resolution to the issue. This time, after all attempts, he has got her attention."



Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:22pm
eeeewwwwwww....how she sweaty and came from the gym and not take a shower until the next day. that's nasty. 





Posted By: callmeDEva
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:27pm
She seemed a bit overly dramatic to me. Husband just wanted to show you exactly what he's talking about, and how lame your excuses sound.

And IA. It's her body, yes - but she's basically depriving him of sex.


Posted By: callmeDEva
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:28pm
And I do think he's immature for ignoring her though. That would piss me off more than the email


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:30pm
Im gonna go ahead and agree with the redditors here. Whether his compaint is valid or not, this is an incredibly immature way of commnunicating it.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:32pm
I saw the original thread on reddit...wooo hilarious.

Anyway, sometimes you have to show people. I've done this before...not to the point of a spreadsheet. But I had a document with dates/times of things that were said and their context.




Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:35pm
lol @ her talking about cooking, cleaning and laundry.  the man wants sex.   if she gave him some maybe he could do the cooking and cleaning and do his own damn laundry.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:39pm
so she only had sex 3 times that month too?

 Cry


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:40pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

not the spreadsheet I was expecting.

.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:44pm
what were yall expecting?
more yes'es?


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:46pm

lmaooooo @ this man conducting his own lil study.  whew!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
anway, what does she mean what is she supposed to do???????????  either communicate the real reason she doesn't want to have sex or give him some booty.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

lmaooooo @ this man conducting his own lil study.  whew!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
anway, what does she mean what is she supposed to do???????????  either communicate the real reason she doesn't want to have sex or give him some booty.


Too little too late. Seems like the fact that the didn't respond indicates he's already moved on to some new booty or will be soon.

Oh well, hopefully she learns for next time. Compatibility (sexual or otherwise) and communication are important.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:55pm
lol...so you think he will leave her?  i skimmed but i thought i saw where she was on a business trip.  i mean i was thinking the fact that he went thru all of that trouble means he still cares...but just wanted to get her full attention and put something on her mind while she is away from home...


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 3:56pm
I hope she updates her post; I want to know what happened when she came back. For sure he was giving her reasons to sleep with other women. She must have been denying him sex for months.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:43pm
lay down it's time isn't too tempting 

The tone doesn't lend itself to yes (if you're making spreadsheets and what not)

I'm pretty sure there are issues with their relationship other than sex 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:50pm
@RR, definitely
someone said that as far as importance, sex is only about 10% of a marriage if both are satisfied with it. But it becomes more like 90% if they aren't.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:52pm
Ricky I agree, and Purp I agree.

I think they clearly have compatibility issues when it comes to communication and how they deal with problems outside the bedroom, let alone sex.

I don't see why he would stay with her. Or she with him. They're clearly not on the same page.

Then again, divorce requires a lot of paperwork. And I'm not down with that.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:54pm
yeah that's why she needs to communicate the REAL reason she is withholding sex.  those flim flam excuses are ridiculous.  she should do this whether they stay together or not...imo...


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:55pm
husbands asking for sex. wheredeydodatat???

i am glad he's ignoring her calls and texts. hopefully they can work on their marriage but if its beyond repair, best of luck to him.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:58pm

what you doing james?  a lil strip tease...lol



Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:59pm
Purp they were expecting Bunny;s famous spreadsheet with the names and aliases of BHMers and other revealing info. Possibly they were hoping the spreadsheet we got was not the actual one and bunny was here to provide receipts!


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:00pm
lmaooo i didn't even realize the op was from bunny. 
 
hey bunny!!!!!!!!!!


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:01pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

yeah that's why she needs to communicate the REAL reason she is withholding sex.  those flim flam excuses are ridiculous.  she should do this whether they stay together or not...imo...


I noticed that 6 of the times it was about showering/feeling gross.

I wonder if that indicates some things...either about how she sees herself or whether he has said anything about the way she looks/smells. That might be the real issue.




Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:05pm
yes maysay i noticed that as well.  and if you yourself feel gross (after working out no less) why would you not shower till the next day??  is she funky at work?  there is something else definitely going on there...i'm sure of it. 


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

what you doing james?  a lil strip tease...lol



uhhh no lol


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:10pm

lol



Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:25pm
it sounds like she is taking on a lot at home plus she works 

What does he say when she says she feels gross and sweaty?   

I don't think the sweaty/gross is necessarily coming up before bed.  

Seems like this husband is ultra sensitive, has no swag or is looking for excuses to be offended or to roam 

#prowife



Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:30pm
My DH aint having that, he'd a been divorced me...


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:39pm
to be fair...he sent that spreadsheet to her directly.  she decided to share it with the world...
 
he also documented in the spreadsheet a few times that...he initiated...she said she felt gross and needed a shower...but she didn't shower until the following morning.  wtf?
 
as far as having no swag....if that is the case...i'm sure his swag didn't just suddenly mysteriously poof.  they were together for 3 years prior to marriage.  why go ahead and marry a mofo you think is goofy or you are not sexually attracted too?  seems like a lot of work imo... passsssssssssssss.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:39pm
Originally posted by Diane (35) Diane (35) wrote:

Purp they were expecting Bunny;s famous spreadsheet with the names and aliases of BHMers and other revealing info. Possibly they were hoping the spreadsheet we got was not the actual one and bunny was here to provide receipts!


ah...

carry onLOL


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:40pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

to be fair...he sent that spreadsheet to her directly.  she decided to share it with the world...
 
he also documented in the spreadsheet a few times that...he initiated...she said she felt gross and needed a shower...but she didn't shower until the following morning.  wtf?
 
as far as having no swag....if that is the case...i'm sure his swag didn't just suddenly mysteriously poof.  they were together for 3 years prior to marriage.  why go ahead and marry a mofo you think is goofy or you are not sexually attracted too?  seems like a lot of work imo... passsssssssssssss.


gurl..




Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 5:43pm
and i would be sensitive too if 9/10 my man gave me some silly azz excuse for not wanting it and i'm initiating...shyt i cannot even begin to imagine how that might actually feel...


Posted By: briany
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 6:14pm
Did she not mention that she had put on some weight? I wonder if this is partly issue, she does not feel attractive.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 6:30pm
he probably went the spreadsheet route because she's the type of person who is impossible to reason with on such things and is full of excuses...he's most likely brought it up before and she just minimizes the issue...those types need solid evidence they can't weasel out of before they are willing to come clean and face the real issue.   

And Diane has it right LOL...I was like hmm I see what you did there.


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

and i would be sensitive too if 9/10 my man gave me some silly azz excuse for not wanting it and i'm initiating...shyt i cannot even begin to imagine how that might actually feel...


LOL yeah that would suck... BUTTT men and women are different. I think sex rejection for a woman is probably a much harsher feeling.. but it's cause of mens desire to fck regardless of the circumstances.. like they would do it straight after football practice if they could and don't take much to get hard

If I just came home from a hot ass day and he's trying to feel me up.. I'm going to feel gross and won't be getting wet... but UMMM why the fck is she not showering til the next day??Dead

and yeah her excuses are cool,.. but she probably should have fcked him later on that day at least half of the time...

He's a bitch for not answering the phone though LOLCry


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 6:43pm
it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 6:53pm
yep.
I'd say it's rarely the woman's fault but they call me crazy lol


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:04pm
Idk for some reason I aint mad at him.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:20pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




no kids...why marry someone who has wack dck so you can spend the next 40 years making excuses?


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:22pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




yep, i always say that too.

if the sex is bomb.com i want it all the time. 
if it's wack, not only am i making excuses but i'm already searching for someone new. but many women don't leave the relationship they just make excuses. i guess it's easy to lay down and look up at the ceiling 2-3x a month than to tell him the truth. 

another scenario is when the woman is working, coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and dude still expecting sex every night. she's tired. you want some consistently you need to help out and make her life easier. 

women don't have sex with their significant other when they aren't happy. 





Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:23pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 


 
yeah that's possible.  but she should still tell him this.  it will not get better if they do not confront the issue.  also, if they were f*cking during the 3 years prior to them getting married, she is a fool for marrying him with wack dyck...


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:24pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




no kids...why marry someone who has wack dck so you can spend the next 40 years making excuses?
 
no mam.  not i.  that shyt seems like too much stress/work...


Posted By: hauteshellbi
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:26pm
Wack sex is theeeee worst omg I swear one dude was pumpin and I couldn't feel anything like how is that possible? all I felt was his thigh slapping against my thigh...that's when I realized little dacks are a no go so all Asians and yt are out


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:27pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




yep, i always say that too.

if the sex is bomb.com i want it all the time. 
if it's wack, not only am i making excuses but i'm already searching for someone new. but many women don't leave the relationship they just make excuses. i guess it's easy to lay down and look up at the ceiling 2-3x a month than to tell him the truth. 

another scenario is when the woman is working, coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and dude still expecting sex every night. she's tired. you want some consistently you need to help out and make her life easier. 

women don't have sex with their significant other when they aren't happy. 



 
lol @ responding to yourself...
 
anyway, yeah this is another real possibility.  but she should tell him the real reason and cut the bullshyt excuses...


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:34pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




yep, i always say that too.

if the sex is bomb.com i want it all the time. 
if it's wack, not only am i making excuses but i'm already searching for someone new. but many women don't leave the relationship they just make excuses. i guess it's easy to lay down and look up at the ceiling 2-3x a month than to tell him the truth. 

another scenario is when the woman is working, coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and dude still expecting sex every night. she's tired. you want some consistently you need to help out and make her life easier. 

women don't have sex with their significant other when they aren't happy. 



 
lol @ responding to yourself...
 
anyway, yeah this is another real possibility.  but she should tell him the real reason and cut the bullshyt excuses...

LOL...i meant to quote purp. 


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:35pm
i figured...lol


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:39pm

you got an alias outchea smaison???

I think the load is too heavy, sounds like she has a lot on her plate (moving, all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, demanding job, travel) and he doesn't help very much but wants his dack wet on a schedule 

After you worked all day, came home cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, went to the gym you might not have the energy to hear a lame come on* from someone that's spent the evening watching football 

*We don't know what he means by "initiate"




Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:41pm
women do this crazy shyt all the time.
i have heard enough stories.
they stay for a number of reasons
-"its the right thing to do"
-"he's a great provider"
-"he has a job"
-"we've been together for so long"
-they don't want to hurt his feelings and can't seem to broach the subject
i can go on and on and on

the fact that many women have not experience an orgasm is a major red flag. says a lot about their sex lives.
i aint marrying you if you can't make me cum.
but it happens everyday.




Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:45pm
I don't think it's crazy that for some people security and stability is more important than sex. Or that their vows are more important than sex.




Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:45pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

it's not always the woman's fault why she aint giving him any.
maybe his dyck game is wack so she's making excuses to not jump in the sack.
its happens. 




yep, i always say that too.

if the sex is bomb.com i want it all the time. 
if it's wack, not only am i making excuses but i'm already searching for someone new. but many women don't leave the relationship they just make excuses. i guess it's easy to lay down and look up at the ceiling 2-3x a month than to tell him the truth. 

another scenario is when the woman is working, coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and dude still expecting sex every night. she's tired. you want some consistently you need to help out and make her life easier. 

women don't have sex with their significant other when they aren't happy. 




Yes. A lot of men don't realize this. Sometimes a wife is just too tired to buss it wide open every night when she is carrying all of the load. But she should still communicate that with the husband. In this case I don't think that is the situation. She just sounds like she isn't sexually attracted to him anymore. Those excuse are terrible. I would be offended if my husband said those same things to me. I would rather he keep it real and say what it really is. Depriving your partner of sex without giving them the option to fix the problem is wrong. 


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:47pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:


you got an alias outchea smaison???

I think the load is too heavy, sounds like she has a lot on her plate (moving, all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, demanding job, travel) and he doesn't help very much but wants his dack wet on a schedule 

After you worked all day, came home cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, went to the gym you might not have the energy to hear a lame come on* from someone that's spent the evening watching football 

*We don't know what he means by "initiate"



LOLLOLLOLLOL...yeah.....its smaison. 




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:52pm
 
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:



yep, i always say that too.

if the sex is bomb.com i want it all the time. 
if it's wack, not only am i making excuses but i'm already searching for someone new. but many women don't leave the relationship they just make excuses. i guess it's easy to lay down and look up at the ceiling 2-3x a month than to tell him the truth. 

another scenario is when the woman is working, coming home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and dude still expecting sex every night. she's tired. you want some consistently you need to help out and make her life easier. 

women don't have sex with their significant other when they aren't happy. 




 agree.
foreplay doesn't necessarily begin in the bedroom.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:53pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

 

LOLLOLLOLLOL...yeah.....its smaison. 




LOL
so special we need 2 of you


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 7:57pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I don't think it's crazy that for some people security and stability is more important than sex. Or that their vows are more important than sex.


 
that would be ok too i guess if she was willing to accept that he may go get it from somewhere else.
 
the fact that she is pressed enough to post this online for support (and she even said she was a nervous wreck) tells me she may actually wants to save the marriage.   the fact that he is keeping a freakin spreadsheet tells me that he cares.  they just need to communicate and work this out...


Posted By: callmeDEva
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:01pm
I wonder how often women try to teach a man how to please them. if they even broach the subject. if that's the only thing not working in an otherwise great relationship, we doing some extensive 101 training


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:02pm
Originally posted by callmeDEva callmeDEva wrote:

I wonder how often women try to teach a man how to please them. if they even broach the subject. if that's the only thing not working in an otherwise great relationship, we doing some extensive 101 training
 
exactly.  but like others have said it is prolly some other stuff going on too.  regardless, it won't get better with all of these jump in jump out jump side to side tactics they are using...


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:04pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:


 
exactly.  but like others have said it is prolly some other stuff going on too.  regardless, it won't get better with all of these jump in jump out jump side to side tactics they are using...


right.
They def need to communicate better.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:05pm
Originally posted by callmeDEva callmeDEva wrote:

I wonder how often women try to teach a man how to please them. if they even broach the subject. if that's the only thing not working in an otherwise great relationship, we doing some extensive 101 training

Yeah I believe if a woman knows her body then it shouldn't be hard to teach someone how to please her. 




Posted By: JasmineE02
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:15pm
I can't get beyond the fact that he did it on her first night away for a business trip and refuses to talk to her.  That's some passive aggressive bullsh*t and it puts him squarely in the whiny brat box until proven otherwise.   I hope they talk to someone about communication and coping skills.  Good grief. 


Posted By: Miss B
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:16pm
He's whack for sending her a list, then not continuing the conversation. Sounds like it was the reality check she needed and when she tried to communicate with him got radio silence. I'd say better late then never.

She's DUMB for posting it online. Clearly a sign of desperation.

I think there's hope for them but it will take a lot for them to recover.



Posted By: Miss B
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:24pm
But in response to some things in this thread....

- Sex is important in a marriage, however its not first on the list for a lot of women for good reason. Better a kind soul with a stable job than the dude that can lay it down but that is the ONLY thing he has going for him. Y'all act like the dating/marrying pool is just overflowing with men with every box checked, lol. That joint is THIN. Lol some women gotta choose.

- A lot of people are celibate before marriage. BHM may not believe this but, its not just one or two ppl in the world, lol.

- Sex right after working out IS gross. However if the attraction is that strong that can be transcended but IMO is a valid excuse. However not showering isn't, lol. Ewwww your sheets be all funky...

Overall it sounds like the spark has been gone for a while. Sex is mental and emotional just as much as it is physical. For women anyway. If the spark has gone there's a smaller chance she'll be looking forward to sex regardless of HOW he's putting it down.


Posted By: mzsophisticated
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:37pm
Damn, she must do this alot for him to break down with a spreadsheet...lmao....but seems like they need a therapist to work out the communication issue


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:43pm
If he took the same effort with sex life she'd want to.


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:47pm
that Brotha busting nuts in his mistress right now


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 8:50pm
Whatever I think of the spreadsheet I think even worse of her posting it.

They both seem....idk


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 9:44pm
If I went away on business and didnt hear from my husband in what 12 hours? My first thought would not be to post something like that on reddit...

I mean she said she received it yesterday...


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 10:39pm
He sent her a spreadsheet because she's a business woman, he was trying to speak her language. Powerpoint would have been too extra. Unless she isn't attracted to him anymore for some reason i don't get the excuses.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:40am
Haven't had sex with my so since June. Don't plan on having sex till it snows.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 3:25am
it would of been a trip she is at a meeting and power pointing and somehow this got on the board for all to read and she is looking at their expressions and looks up and sees this is projected on the screenLOLLOLLOL

just saying...

but why did she have to take it this far to post it for the world to read....??? he sent this to her in privacy and she wants to share it with tom dick and harry and becky..Confused


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 8:37am
Something is going on with these people where instead of communication they are having a power struggle.  I can't help but wonder if this is related to his swag or she just doesn't like his ass.  Maybe she should make a spreadsheetLOL

6/21/2014 - Niccah you smell like rotted cheese - NO!
6/22/2014 - Sex was wack, no head game and zero stroke as usual - Ugh
6/23/2014 - Did you see me racing around to cook, clean, pay the bills after I worked 12 hours.  Do you know what a mop is motherfckr? - Fck No
6/24/2014 - I should have  punched you in the face for asking me for sex.  Did you hear me say my boss was going off on me when I left today?  I hate your self-absorbed ass right now! - NO!

Maybe she does feel obligated to stay with him for some reason not included in this diatribe but either way he a bish for that spreadsheet and she's dumb as hell for posting it.  Neither one of them is happy with their sex game.   It could be anything at all. 

But I giggled where he listed her watching a show as one of the "excuses".   Hubby will turn my sh*t off right in the middle of the good part giving zero fcks about me fussing.  His power struggle with the TV and for my attention is legendary.  He feels so good about himself when he wins (always).  Fortunately he makes up for it and thank goodness for On DemandEmbarrassed






Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 9:13am
LMAO......he cam with receipts and all lol


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 11:17am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Something is going on with these people where instead of communication they are having a power struggle.  I can't help but wonder if this is related to his swag or she just doesn't like his ass.  Maybe she should make a spreadsheetLOL

6/21/2014 - Niccah you smell like rotted cheese - NO!
6/22/2014 - Sex was wack, no head game and zero stroke as usual - Ugh
6/23/2014 - Did you see me racing around to cook, clean, pay the bills after I worked 12 hours.  Do you know what a mop is motherfckr? - Fck No
6/24/2014 - I should have  punched you in the face for asking me for sex.  Did you hear me say my boss was going off on me when I left today?  I hate your self-absorbed ass right now! - NO!

Maybe she does feel obligated to stay with him for some reason not included in this diatribe but either way he a bish for that spreadsheet and she's dumb as hell for posting it.  Neither one of them is happy with their sex game.   It could be anything at all. 

But I giggled where he listed her watching a show as one of the "excuses".   Hubby will turn my sh*t off right in the middle of the good part giving zero fcks about me fussing.  His power struggle with the TV and for my attention is legendary.  He feels so good about himself when he wins (always).  Fortunately he makes up for it and thank goodness for On DemandEmbarrassed






LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 11:22am
I think I'm going to catalog my sex life for the rest of the year. Curious to see the numbers.


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 11:24am
My ex used to always say she 'felt gross', and i never quite knew what the hell that meant. It wasn't in regards to sex, just in general. We'd be at the beach sitting in the sun and she'd look at her skin and say she felt gross. *shrugs* I should have asked.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 11:25am
I wonder how the women would feel if the men were acting like this.....Id step out.....Im not even ton lie.....


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 11:40am
IDK Sandy but I'm talking to him first at least.  He better have a good reason for not being interested all them damn times.  I would be so hurtCry

And he lashed out hard by saying "I'm not gonna miss you".  He couldn't say that sh*t before she left for 10 days.  That was cold-blooded.  Sexual rejection is shots fired. 


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:03pm
I vaguely remember a thread on here about women being rejected for sex by their s.o's. Seem to recall it being messy.


Posted By: NuAttitude
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:12pm
Well home girl better get to sexing him before someone does!!!


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:18pm
i would be crush if i was rejected sexually. i am a very sexual person and that's one way i feel real close to my s.o. 
that's why i test drive before i buy. i don't want to be in a situation where i am rejecting you or you're rejecting me. 




Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:20pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

i would be crush if i was rejected sexually. i am a very sexual person and that's one way i feel real close to my s.o. 
that's why i test drive before i buy. i don't want to be in a situation where i am rejecting you or you're rejecting me. 




Exactly.  Saving it for marriage is a serious gamble.


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:23pm
Just found the thread. It was actually about if women could rape men. A lot of women in that thread expressed that they would be hurt if they tried to have sex with their man but he didn't want to. Some even said if he said no more than once then something was wrong.

I still don't get why but oh well.


Posted By: JasmineE02
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:25pm
similar sex drives >> frequency  


Posted By: Miss B
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:52pm


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:56pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Just found the thread. It was actually about if women could rape men. A lot of women in that thread expressed that they would be hurt if they tried to have sex with their man but he didn't want to. Some even said if he said no more than once then something was wrong.

I still don't get why but oh well.

lank?


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 12:57pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

i would be crush if i was rejected sexually. i am a very sexual person and that's one way i feel real close to my s.o. 
that's why i test drive before i buy. i don't want to be in a situation where i am rejecting you or you're rejecting me. 




Exactly.  Saving it for marriage is a serious gamble.

My friend going thru this right now....she was celibate when she met her now-husband and they stayed celibate till marriage....her sex drive is nonexistent and he wants some everyday,so she calls me saying "hes selfish"....i fought the urge to remind her she called me a heathen for daring to tell her she better make sure they are sexually compatible b4 marriage as she threw bible verses in my face....oh well


Posted By: NuAttitude
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:27pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

yeah that's why she needs to communicate the REAL reason she is withholding sex.  those flim flam excuses are ridiculous.  she should do this whether they stay together or not...imo...


I noticed that 6 of the times it was about showering/feeling gross.

I wonder if that indicates some things...either about how she sees herself or whether he has said anything about the way she looks/smells. That might be the real issue.


And she did mention that she had gained some weight, so maybe her sex drive in down or she feels a certain kind of way.  At any rate, if he's practically begging her for it, I don't see the problem.  Sheit.....she could have sex as she's showering.  JMHO!Wink


Posted By: iSMILE13
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:35pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wonder how the women would feel if the men were acting like this.....Id step out.....Im not even ton lie.....
this has happened to me before....I couldn't do it. I bounced...


Posted By: NuAttitude
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:36pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

i would be crush if i was rejected sexually. i am a very sexual person and that's one way i feel real close to my s.o. 
that's why i test drive before i buy. i don't want to be in a situation where i am rejecting you or you're rejecting me. 




Exactly.  Saving it for marriage is a serious gamble.

My friend going thru this right now....she was celibate when she met her now-husband and they stayed celibate till marriage....her sex drive is nonexistent and he wants some everyday,so she calls me saying "hes selfish"....i fought the urge to remind her she called me a heathen for daring to tell her she better make sure they are sexually compatible b4 marriage as she threw bible verses in my face....oh well
(In Aunt Esther's voice....you old heathenLOL)Evil SmileWink


Posted By: NuAttitude
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 1:37pm
Originally posted by iSMILE13 iSMILE13 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wonder how the women would feel if the men were acting like this.....Id step out.....Im not even ton lie.....
this has happened to me before....I couldn't do it. I bounced...
I'd step out too!!


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 6:05pm
this old gem

http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=302622&PN=1&title=im-in-a-sexless-marriage" rel="nofollow - http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=302622&PN=1&title=im-in-a-sexless-marriage


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 6:17pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

My ex used to always say she 'felt gross', and i never quite knew what the hell that meant. It wasn't in regards to sex, just in general. We'd be at the beach sitting in the sun and she'd look at her skin and say she felt gross. *shrugs* I should have asked.


I've had a discussion about this in a women's support group. It seemed like "I feel gross" (that phrase in particular) was a catch all for feeling ugly/uncomfortable in intimate situations. That even if individually you love yourself and how you look, once you're at the mercy of the judgment of another human you're intimate with all those internalized messages we receive as women about imperfections (stretchmarks, fat, wrong shape, too little boobs, less than flawless skin, etc.) come out as "I feel gross" with an underlying thought of well dude, you couldn't and shouldn't want me.

Though obvi, can't speak for your so. Just throwing it out there.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:04pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

this old gem

http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=302622&PN=1&title=im-in-a-sexless-marriage" rel="nofollow - http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=302622&PN=1&title=im-in-a-sexless-marriage


*gets a cup of cider to sip n read*



(oh, I started that thread! lol)


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:06pm
I'm thanking in that thread like it's new lol


Posted By: Samoneisthebest
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:08pm
I'm team wife.

Your wife has been busy with life and hasn't been in the mood for sex. What have you done to get her mind off of her problems? Why do you feel like she owes you sex just because you asked?

Why the childish spreadsheet?

Obviously they had been compatible for some years and this just recently became a problem. People need to realize that marriage is suppose to be a permanent thing and you just don't quit on it because you were horny for a month. Learn to "self-love" and work on it until things get back to where they were.

I can't believe the entitlement people have. "How dare you not sex me when I want it and as often as I want it! I'm gonna go find someone else!" Sounds like manipulation to me.

This may be the reason why I'll be single forever. He won't miss his wife because they aren't having sex as often as he'd like? The only reason he values her presence is the potential for sex? I can't wrap my head around this life some of yall live.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:10pm
Afro, I see you mentioned the 'can't have frequent sex unless you don't have a job' theories in that Sexless Marriage thread too. Do you have a link for the thread where that was discussed, or do you need Diane to find it for you ? lol


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:15pm
I think it's bigger than just being rejected for sex...you're not communicating your wants and needs.  Feeling gross...that sh*t would get old with me fast.  If my SO is going through something then he needs to tell me like look, I'm stressed, I'm overworked right now, we probably won't be having much sex, but we are good and it will pass...or tell me what I'm doing wrong.  People are married but still coochiefooting around issues like theyre boyfriend and girlfriend. 

 


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 7:19pm
Originally posted by Samoneisthebest Samoneisthebest wrote:

I'm team wife.

Your wife has been busy with life and hasn't been in the mood for sex. What have you done to get her mind off of her problems? Why do you feel like she owes you sex just because you asked?

Why the childish spreadsheet?

Obviously they had been compatible for some years and this just recently became a problem. People need to realize that marriage is suppose to be a permanent thing and you just don't quit on it because you were horny for a month. Learn to "self-love" and work on it until things get back to where they were.

I can't believe the entitlement people have. "How dare you not sex me when I want it and as often as I want it! I'm gonna go find someone else!" Sounds like manipulation to me.

This may be the reason why I'll be single forever. He won't miss his wife because they aren't having sex as often as he'd like? The only reason he values her presence is the potential for sex? I can't wrap my head around this life some of yall live.

I think you're missing a good bit of his point.
I think the spreadsheet is childish but its not about him wanting sex on demand.
That's what you think sex means in a marriage?



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