Print Page | Close Window

datingandrelationship question

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=372113
Printed Date: Oct 18 2018 at 4:10am


Topic: datingandrelationship question
Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Subject: datingandrelationship question
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:20am
after how many months of dating do you start claiming the other person as your bf/gf? and do women already claim the man they're dating as their boyfriend to their friends family, before they make it official?



Replies:
Posted By: Ladycoils
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:23am
When we have a mutual conversation about our relationship status and I have determined I can be around you for long periods of time.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:28am
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

after how many months of dating do you start claiming the other person as your bf/gf? we were about three months in and do women already claim the man they're dating as their boyfriend to their friends family, before they make it official? I didn't. As I wasn't looking for a relationship, I let him take the lead on that one. He asked, I confirmed and then I informed my mother.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:28am
Originally posted by Ladycoils Ladycoils wrote:

When we have a mutual conversation about our relationship status and I have determined I can be around you for long periods of time.


This. I wouldn't be caught looking crazy out here claiming somebody when it hasn't been discussed that y'all are exclusive.


Posted By: Y.Gun
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:31am

Once we have the conversation.


You don't want to jump to conclusions.


Trust me, lol.



Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:32am
no bf/gf...until we have that conversation...

no meeting family until we are seriously talking about marriage.. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:36am
Bruh.. She prolly waiting on you to make the jump

You know how chicks be ..

If you're ready .. You're ready.. If she's not you've dodged a hot one


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:36am
my female friend told me women claim their man before he realizes it or they make it official that they are indeed bf/gf.
 
close your eyes,
 
you and the guy you've been dating go to his family members home for a birthday party. you are familiar with his family/friends and this isn't new to you. the two of you walk into the party holding hands, again, nothing new. he then walks up to a family member you haven't met and he introduces you as his girlfriend for the first time.
 
open your eys, how do you respond?


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:40am
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

 
open your eys, how do you respond?


I'd be fine with it, and he'd already know that.

Ideally this wouldn't be happening unless all background checks, financial checks, std checks, and family/friend checks have come back clean and we've already discussed making the relationship official.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:41am
Likely with a clown ass grin then pull him aside so we can have a quick talk.

Don't put people on the spot like that.


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:43am
yea samone, this is what she told me but again, she isn't in the best situation relationshipwise.
 
maysay, i gave her that same scenario and she told me it was rude to do if y'all hadn't officially made it official.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:51am
Well, it is rude if it's a surprise...like y'all had never discussed it before. To me that's like proposing in public even though marriage has never come up.

But, some people just don't see labels as a big deal at all. I know people who call each other their bf/gf or best friend after knowing them for like a week.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 10:55am
Originally posted by Ladycoils Ladycoils wrote:

When we have a mutual conversation about our relationship status and I have determined I can be around you for long periods of time.
this...that conversation must be had


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:00am
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

my female friend told me women claim their man before he realizes it or they make it official that they are indeed bf/gf.
 
close your eyes,
 
you and the guy you've been dating go to his family members home for a birthday party. you are familiar with his family/friends and this isn't new to you. the two of you walk into the party holding hands, again, nothing new. he then walks up to a family member you haven't met and he introduces you as his girlfriend for the first time.
 
open your eys, how do you respond?

I would not want to meet a guy's friends or family until we are serious... I prefer spending that time in the beginning deciding if I like YOU.... adding in friends and family too early has been the reason i've ending things with guys. 


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:02am
no rhyme or reason


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:06am
we need to have a conversation before anyone can go around claiming anyone. 

as far as the party scenario, out of respect i would play it cool. but afterwards we would have to talk. i don't like people claiming me unless we've had a conversation and both agreed that's what we want; i don't find it flattering at all.





Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:15am
I'd smile but after we left I would tell him how it wasn't cool. I hate being on the spot. One time my ex introduced me to his great-aunt and other extended family members as his fiancé. Ninja we about two arguments away from breaking up, I was hot.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:19am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


I don't mind meeting family a bit early

 
me either.  doesn't bother me.
 
but like you and others have stated, i too would need to have a lil chatty chat before i go claiming a nicca for real for real...


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:23am
i HAVE to meet the family early so i can see what i'll be dealing with.
 
if her mom is like mama joyce


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:23am
Originally posted by Y.Gun Y.Gun wrote:

Once we have the conversation.


You don't want to jump to conclusions.


Trust me, lol.



This


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:34am
I like to introduce people to my family early because I need to see if they'll fit. If my people's don't like you, I don't like you.




Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:40am

what about your friends? do your friends meet the person you're dating before your your fam?

 
my first date with my lady went from just us two, to her inviting me for drinks with her girls later that evening. just me and 5 women who i barely knew having drinks. it was intimidating but i didn't let it show, tbh.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:46am

For me it depended of the relationship: my first ex claimed me within a month; my second wanted me as his girlfriend right away, the third one was immature and took him over a month to claim me.

I don't like telling family members right away about the boyfriend until I am sure about him.
 
Some women claim the guy as their bf right away because they are happy in the relationship (or they are possessive).


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:47am
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

what about your friends? do your friends meet the person you're dating before your your fam?

 
my first date with my lady went from just us two, to her inviting me for drinks with her girls later that evening. just me and 5 women who i barely knew having drinks. it was intimidating but i didn't let it show, tbh.
 
yep friends earlier than family.  in fact, friends really early waaaaaaaaaaaaay before feelings are caught...


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:55am
i'm notorious for seeing more than one person at a time so meeting friends and family early on is awkward so i don't do it. another reason why i am not quick to claim anyone. i have been in relationship with people for years before i introduced them to my family. i don't think i've ever introduced a bf to my family before a year. 





Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:55am
We have to talk first. I'm not claiming anyone who doesn't want to be claimed lol


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:55am
Friends and family generally around the same time...early as possible. But now the friends I actually care about don't live in my state/country.

Generally, I meet people through friends or family anyway so they're already preapproved. The one time I didn't, that didn't work out.

Dude was against gay marriage and it came up the first time he had dinner with my mom, my sister, and my bil. And he let my mom pay the bill for dinner which was a huge no in my book (my mom doesn't care about stuff like that but in my view he should've just given the waitress his card when we first got there).


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:00pm
i took a dude with me back in the day to my girlfriends house for dinner.  i was done with him when that nicca asked from some specific shyt out of her refrigerator.  nicca you better drank this drank and eat these scooby snacks she has prepared for your dumb azz...Sleepy


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:09pm
We gotta have the talk deciding to be exclusive first...otherwise that sounds like a recipe for some hurt feelings.

I avoid meeting family like the plague and a man shouldn't be offended if I don't want them to meet my family. The only ones' opinions that matter are my mother and brothers and I can almost guarantee they won't like anyone lol.



Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:17pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:


i took a dude with me back in the day to my girlfriends house for dinner.  i was done with him when that nicca asked from some specific shyt out of her refrigerator.  nicca you better drank this drank and eat these scooby snacks she has prepared for your dumb azz...Sleepy


Lol



Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:24pm
Yep we must be on the same page can't be claiming someone in my head.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:36pm
if it is a surprise claim, I'd find out why

Could have nothing to do with me... or could be insecurity, he's not forthright, things that are yellow/red flags

I'd need more information including a convo

I wouldn't embarrass him in front of his family


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:50pm
meet friends first and ASAP. Meet family whenever, maybe never.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:51pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

i'm notorious for seeing more than one person at a time so meeting friends and family early on is awkward so i don't do it. another reason why i am not quick to claim anyone. i have been in relationship with people for years before i introduced them to my family. i don't think i've ever introduced a bf to my family before a year. 





Heart this


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 12:54pm
Ideally I'd be sure of what I think of him before introducing him to friends first, family next 

Didn't happen this way for me though



Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 1:13pm
You cant just be going around claiming folks cause you been dating them for 90 days. There needs to be some sort of we are exclusive conversation or that ain't your man/woman.




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 1:17pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

You cant just be going around claiming folks cause you been dating them for 90 days. There needs to be some sort of we are exclusive conversation or that ain't your man/woman.



that's when I knew I was finally in love
 

LOL





Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 1:42pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

meet friends first and ASAP. Meet family whenever, maybe never.


I don't think you have ever truly gone into detail about your family situation purp (not saying you have to)

but you make posts like this from time to time


lol @ situation


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:18pm
I do.
My friends credit me with that quote .. they know I didn't coin it but I say it a lot.

my family is good too though. I have a lot of siblings and I'm the youngest/baby so I have NO complaints lol.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:21pm
or something lol


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:23pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

Ideally I'd be sure of what I think of him before introducing him to friends first, family next 

Didn't happen this way for me though



how did it happen?


Posted By: uppitynegroid
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:29pm
Every relationship progresses differently.  I do feel like they progress much faster when at least of one of the people is in their 30s. 


Posted By: uppitynegroid
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:40pm
Originally posted by rell85 rell85 wrote:

Family and friends can be met early on still don't mean nothing.


True.  I know some guys who do that so the girl will think they are serious and put out.  He might be that guy that introduces every girl to his family.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 2:41pm
Family and friends can be met early on still don't mean nothing.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 3:10pm
My husband never introduced girls to his family. he said his mom needed to get picked up from the metro station and he just so happened to have a girl in the car. His mom was like is this your GF? He said he said no so quick that the girl got mad and never talked to him again after that day.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 3:31pm
lol she did know she wasn't his girlfriend?


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 3:46pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

what about your friends? do your friends meet the person you're dating before your your fam?


 

my first date with my lady went from just us two, to her inviting me for drinks with her girls later that evening. just me and 5 women who i barely knew having drinks. it was intimidating but i didn't let it show, tbh.

 
yep friends earlier than family.  in fact, friends really early waaaaaaaaaaaaay before feelings are caught...
tc calling up the defensive lineup early


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 3:49pm
exactly!


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 3:52pm
What my friends say has no concern on my love life and certain family members opinion is quite suspect. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 4:00pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

exactly!
protect ya neck feels


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

lol she did know she wasn't his girlfriend?
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

lol she did know she wasn't his girlfriend?

Oh yeah she knew. My husband is a very blunt and honest man. He has only had two girlfriends his whole life. She was a friend with benefits and they were on the way to drop her off when his mom called. He said he never understood why dudes bothered lying to girls and selling them pipe dreams. He swears that telling girls straight up what it was saved him alot of headaches and drama.




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 6:04pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

exactly!
protect ya neck feels


and your money (?)


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 6:05pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

lol she did know she wasn't his girlfriend?
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

lol she did know she wasn't his girlfriend?

Oh yeah she knew. My husband is a very blunt and honest man. He has only had two girlfriends his whole life. She was a friend with benefits and they were on the way to drop her off when his mom called. He said he never understood why dudes bothered lying to girls and selling them pipe dreams. He swears that telling girls straight up what it was saved him alot of headaches and drama.




oh ok. I would have been the one to blurt out NO before he even had a chance to imagine how nice it would be LOL


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 6:06pm
oh not your husband Petite lol..  one of my old 'flames'


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jul 07 2014 at 11:48pm
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

what about your friends? do your friends meet the person you're dating before your your fam?

 
my first date with my lady went from just us two, to her inviting me for drinks with her girls later that evening. just me and 5 women who i barely knew having drinks. it was intimidating but i didn't let it show, tbh.


Did you buy them all a drink?


Posted By: fckwitmeuknoigotit
Date Posted: Jul 08 2014 at 10:16am
Yea I bought em 1 round of shots and that was it.



Print Page | Close Window