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Caring about what others think of you?

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=372017
Printed Date: May 26 2018 at 1:27pm


Topic: Caring about what others think of you?
Posted By: sbrownie84
Subject: Caring about what others think of you?
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:32pm
Do you really care what others think of you?

Is acceptance really necessry to form healthy relationships with others?

Or is it about not giving a damn, being who you are?



Replies:
Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:41pm
sometimes I care, sometimes I don't.  But I'm sure this thread will be full of empowerment about not caring what people think.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:46pm
it depends… 
sometimes i care. 




Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:47pm
I absolutely care what others think of me.

Personally and professionally, I've benefited greatly from making sure that the people who matter think well of me and my abilities.




Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:48pm
No just respect me as a adult and Im good with that.


Posted By: callmeDEva
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:51pm
I find I'm the happiest when I do what I want, how I want and with my best interests in mind

It can be truly liberating to just walk out your door, head high, not giving two fcuks about anyone's opinions. Can be easier said than done sometimes though


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:52pm
Everyone cares. 


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:56pm
I care what ppl who matter think of me. That includes my family and friends.

In a professional settings i care about how im viewed as an employee. That level of care varies.



Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 8:58pm
Yea I do care

Only cause I know I might come off a certain way that Im not. So obviously I hate when people think wrong things of me ..


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 9:07pm
Alot of people care to a certain extent what others think about them or how they're perceived.  Folks care when they tryna get a job. folks care when they're at the job. folks care when they're are purchasing a service and the people delivering it don't look like something they like.  

Folks will say that they don't give a fucc what folks think but...to a certain extent most do.  Maybe they don't give it enough power to affect their lives but sometimes what people think about can affect you.  That's why some folks have PR.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 9:14pm
I don't care...can't be living my life based on what ppl think...they'll have thier opinions which is fine but i won't let that influence me.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:17pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

it depends… 
sometimes i care. 




this...more often I don't care than do though...

and for dern sure don't care over the web...


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:20pm
i sometimes care over the web. 

i think its interesting when people say things like that. 
also when people say, 'sticks and stones…' (off topic but same difference)

even though were just fonts online.. we frequent this place like everyday and for years and form relationships. ive grown to really care about a few people. 



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:31pm
online I kinda don't care...if someone was like, "i don't like you" i really wouldn't care.  i let people's ideas and beliefs about topics bother me, but their beliefs about me specifically don't matter to me because no one here actually knows me.  if i put all of myself into it then i might feel differently.  if i am arguing with someone on a personal level it's because i like drama.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:37pm

I see what you mean coco but nah I honestly don't....the people I've cared about on here in the past I've met offline or are friends on fb etc...

I haven't really formed relationships on here...a few of y'all are ok and seem cool irl..but that's about as far as that goes..
I can't form attachments online..I have to know you personally before I can care...


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:49pm
only care what people on bhm think


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:55pm
*caringly waits for thanks*
lol


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 10:58pm
I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm rude or mean. Or fake. Other than that, meh.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jul 02 2014 at 11:10pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I care what ppl who matter think of me. That includes my family and friends.

In a professional settings i care about how im viewed as an employee. That level of care varies.



this


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 12:02am
i feel you on that level, i would care if something happened to someone for sure.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 12:02am
Hmm I e-care 

ie I wouldnt like it if I was "hacked" and someone misrepresented me, cussed everyone out, made statements that didn't matched my beliefs, basically acted a fool

And I don't think there's a member that I wouldn't care if something happened to them




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 12:13am

Career wise, I care enough to protect my reputation 

I want my family happy, proud, feel comfortable enough to confide in me and have confidence in me, respect me, love me and vice versa ... so much more but yes I care



Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 1:15am
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Everyone cares. 
at one point or another ... We all do


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 4:11am
no i dont care. i cant be worried about what folks think about me. my mom is worried about that kinda thing. which is funny cause she taught me to not care... oh well.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 4:25am
I care....I would prefer not to care but that's not how my brain works.


Posted By: K_Camille
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 7:16am
What BB and Sang said.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 8:03am
Yes, so I put my best foot forward-- online, offline, familiar, strangers, blah, blah, blah…

However, I don't control others' perception and they will believe what they want. This has been proven.
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

Or is it about not giving a damn, being who you are?
As far as this, I've witnessed that people tend to confuse their tactless existences with honesty/being "real"/being bad ass/etc.

One can be thoughtful/respectful/give a damn and still be authentic to self/others. Just sayin.

It presents as defensive, insecure and emotionally exhausting the effort people put into maintaining the facade.


Posted By: newin2009
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 8:25am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Everyone cares. 
at one point or another ... We all do
yep!


Posted By: Samoneisthebest
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 9:45am
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Yes, so I put my best foot forward-- online, offline, familiar, strangers, blah, blah, blah…

However, I don't control others' perception and they will believe what they want. This has been proven.
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

Or is it about not giving a damn, being who you are?
As far as this, I've witnessed that people tend to confuse their tactless existences with honesty/being "real"/being bad ass/etc.

One can be thoughtful/respectful/give a damn and still be authentic to self/others. Just sayin.

It presents as defensive, insecure and emotionally exhausting the effort people put into maintaining the facade.

This is me. I don't behave the way people think that I should, so they talk about me. No1curr.

If I act like I don't give a damn about you, its because I don't and I don't even feel like wasting my energy to fake it.

I give nary of a f*ck if my existence is seen as "tactful". I do what I want.

The only people I care about their perceptions of me are my immediate family and my closest friends and even then its limited. Cause at the end of the day I'm still gonna do what I want.


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 10:05am
in my experience, the people who say they dont care, care the most.
I care, but there are times i have have to make myself not care.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by callmeDEva callmeDEva wrote:

I find I'm the happiest when I do what I want, how I want and with my best interests in mind

It can be truly liberating to just walk out your door, head high, not giving two fcuks about anyone's opinions. Can be easier said than done sometimes though


Agreed. The older I get the more I feel this way. But I still care to a certain extent. 


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 6:04pm
Do you really care what others think of you?

Not really, except for my children, parents and sibs


Is acceptance really necessry to form healthy relationships with others?

Yes, acceptance and mutual respect


Or is it about not giving a damn, being who you are?

It's important to be yourself otherwise it's not really you being tolerated and accepted.
You can give a damn if you care enough about the other person, and the things you are doing is not that important to you, and it totally offends the other person


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Jul 03 2014 at 6:17pm
i always try to do the right thing. even if that means that i must curve folks and black out. i really dont care about what others think. i know that my intent is right. im in trouble with some folks right now and im like, 'tuh'.



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