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Should I feel bad for not wanting to do this?

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Printed Date: Sep 19 2018 at 9:42am


Topic: Should I feel bad for not wanting to do this?
Posted By: tropical-punch
Subject: Should I feel bad for not wanting to do this?
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:08pm
So my mom asked me if I can take my sister to a pool party in a couple weeks. The thing is I live 2 hours away from them. The pool party is where they live so I would have to drive up there take her, drive back home. No one else can take her apparently. I was not planning on visiting that particular weekend. I planned on coming this weekend (4th of July). I reluctantly said yes. Now I'm regretting it because I really just want to relax and not do all that driving. She said she'd give me gas money but still........



Replies:
Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:10pm
She didnt have any friends going to the pool party that could take her? Seems weird and a bit inconsiderate to ask someone who lives two hrs away for a ride locally. I mean the money used on gas couldve been used on a cab. I would've said no.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:14pm
Do they live in the country?  How old is she?  Can she and one of her friends take the bus or something?

I cut off chauffering services for my lil sis when I came home early from my evening, drove an hour to pick her and bff up from a hs football game and 6 other kids got in the car.  I didn't kick them out because it was late but I learned cars are not equipped for that many people and my car was going sooooooo slow that I had to take the streets across the entire city.  Just say no, for future reference.


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:15pm
why would she even ask you to do that? your sister cant take a bus? or just not go if she cant find her own way?


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:18pm
stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:20pm
Just say NO Ma'am!! 2 hours away for a party down the street? Nope.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:23pm
did your sister beg you and let you know how important it is to her?

Is Mom unsure about the people holding the party, does she want your sis chaperoned?

If she'll be safe perhaps the sister should ask friends who can give her a ride and get it approved by Mom




Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:25pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.


I had to learn this


Posted By: Sleek
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:30pm
I think its unfair. Stop commiting yourself to things YOU don't want to do........the driving alone is four hours out of your day gone already....


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:36pm
Are you the same person that didnt want your little sister to come spend time with you?
Do you secretly not like little sis?LOL


Posted By: MizzAmirah
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:03pm
It's not too late to say no. Da faqq??


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:03pm
Just start saying no to everything and if you feel like it at the last minute be like......If you need me I can......they may not need you and you're good....


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:03pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.

this is easier said than done...Cry




Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:03pm
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

Are you the same person that didnt want your little sister to come spend time with you?
Do you secretly not like little sis?LOL





Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:05pm
Tell her take a cab..


In my opinion this request is ridiculous, but I dont know the back story


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:08pm
Yo momma is unreasonable....she wants you to drive 4 hours to take her to a party......she can ride with friends that actually live there......parents be tripping sometimes......


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.


this is easier said than done...Cry





Sorta but not really....people see this way of life as being nice when really its being a pushover. people will only treat you the way you allow them to


Posted By: kerysdream7
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:08pm
Why doesn't she just take a cab if its close to her house?


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:09pm
Maybe your mom don't let her ride with other ppl...you could have been more open though.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:15pm
Originally posted by rell85 rell85 wrote:

Maybe your mom don't let her ride with other ppl...you could have been more open though.


But she would allow her to be alone with these ppl at a pool party?..lol


Posted By: hauteshellbi
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:18pm
Tha fugggg!!! my momma doesn't even let me make 2 trips to the grocery store because of gas lol (in my own damn car) but yea a pool party isn't important at all


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:19pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.


this is easier said than done...Cry





Sorta but not really....people see this way of life as being nice when really its being a pushover. people will only treat you the way you allow them to

uh...i hope nobody thinks this is considered being nice...this is def an issue

it is hard for me to say no..so if i dont wanna do it i either ignore them and hope they get the hint...

or give them an alternative option "you know the bus runs today" "taxis arent that expensive"


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:22pm
@ you know the bus runs today...man if that a quote from my father..during my teens


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:23pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.


this is easier said than done...Cry





Sorta but not really....people see this way of life as being nice when really its being a pushover. people will only treat you the way you allow them to

uh...i hope nobody thinks this is considered being nice...this is def an issue

it is hard for me to say no..so if i dont wanna do it i either ignore them and hope they get the hint...

or give them an alternative option "you know the bus runs today" "taxis arent that expensive"


that's actually ruder than just saying no imo and why be passive aggressive? just say naaahhh

but honestly, the ability to say no with no compunction is something i eased into as i got older.  

but OP i do things that are inconvenient to me for my family all the time. /shrugs/ it ain't no big deal to me...like if you can't inconvenience family every once in awhile, who can you inconvenience. my parents inconvenience themselves for me all the time.



Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:28pm

lol not face to face... only ignoring if you sent a text or something impersonal...

but ioncurr if they think its rude....its rude for you to be asking me ignant ish in the first place...

honestly if i asked someone a question and they ignored me it will actually make me reflect and wonder about what i just askedLOL

flat out saying no sounds a lot more rude to me...especially if i know you could have done it



Posted By: keepgrowing
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:29pm
^^^ I agree 200% with epi. Saying NO when you don't want to do something makes you look assertive. Ignoring them makes you look rude. 

Driving 2 hours for a pool party uh nah. Maybe your mom wants you to come home that weekend and using that as an excuse.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:31pm
Communication is a lost art


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:31pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by rell85 rell85 wrote:

Maybe your mom don't let her ride with other ppl...you could have been more open though.


But she would allow her to be alone with these ppl at a pool party?..lol


Some parents don't let thier kids ride with teens cuz they might feel they're not a safe driver...it has nothing to do with the party it about how she get there.


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:36pm
Kids too good to walk or catch the bus these days...smh.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:37pm
What if you stay at the pool party? Maybe you will see lots of hot guysWink


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:38pm
Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

Kids too good to walk or catch the bus these days...smh.

My little sisters don't take the bus and they aren't really allowed to walk anywhere.  Too many psychos.


Modeless what do you do when the person follows up their text in person and says "hey did you get my text?" That's just awkward--bc then you have to do the whole---oh nooo---I didn't...and now the iphone [I don't have one] but I know it tells you when someone reads your message. 

If you say no, the person probably will know they can't always ask you for a ride or whatever.

But again--learning to be comfortable saying "No" is not something women are taught imo.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:43pm

honestly OP I would just call her back and tell her that is way too far to drive..which it is...

No way would i drive 4 hours for a pool party...maybe if it were something important or a emergency....not a party





Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 5:48pm
she was wrong for asking you that...actually sounds almost manipulative...she probably knew you wouldnt say no...

4 hours?

i refuse to believe there was no other way...no friends carpooling to this party...no family friends who could drive her...taxi? bus? summmn???



Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:24pm
I feel like...aren't these the same people who let your brother rip and run and won't take any of your advice about it?

Like either they want you involved in your siblings' lives as their pseudo-parent figure or they don't.

I do a lot of stuff for family but they also aren't completely inconsiderate and ridiculous with their requests.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:28pm
Why would you be uncomfortable being straight up with your family?



Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:32pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Why would you be uncomfortable being straight up with your family?


true...i only have issues with outsiders not family...


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:49pm
Never feel bad for not wanting to do something you are asked to do

The question you have to ask yourself,' is it worth the sacrifice'.?

Sometimes it is ok to inconvenience ourselves a little to make someone we love and value happy.

You just have to decide how you will choose to do that

Ultimately it is your decision and you should not feel bad either way.


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:54pm
You have to earn to say no ... but how old is your sister ? Does your mom have to work or is she sick ?


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 6:59pm
SN, but isn't trop the one who never returns to her threads to give us more info/updates?


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 7:17pm
I would not be excited about doing it, but I will.

If I really wanted to go someplace as a young person, and have an older sibling accompany me was the only way I will be allowed to go, I would want them to do it for me.

Mom does not trust anyone else to accompany your sister.
Can't really blame her for that.
Too much crap going on in the world today.





Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 7:33pm
im surprised at some of these responses….. i skimmed though. 

im definitely not the most respectful good child… and i wouldnt want to do it.. and no OP shouldnt feel bad about not wanting to.. it does seem crazy.. but if the mom asked me to i most likely would. 

if i really really wanted to get out of it, i might say something like, 'sigh….. i have a lot of work to do.. but alright…' school is the most important thing to most parents.. if she didnt say, 'its okay.. ill see if her friends mom can pick her up' then that means shes probably already exhausted all options.. 
we do many things we dont wanna do or think is necessary for parents. 

but id like to know how old this sister is… 


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 7:37pm
For a pool party though??
Lol I'd see if it was for something.

II don't think my mama would ask me for something that crazy and we have enough fam in the area that someone would take her.

But a two hour drive just for a pool party is crazy to me.

I'd see if you were going home anyway


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 8:16pm
Originally posted by Lite Brite Lite Brite wrote:

SN, but isn't trop the one who never returns to her threads to give us more info/updates?


that's usually sbrownieLOL


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 8:20pm
gas money for a 4 hour trip plus to and fro once you get there?  seems like it would be cheaper to get a car service.  or cab or uber.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 8:37pm
To me the deciding factor would be if this was really important to my sister and whether or not it would be safe for her to get there any other way or if there was any concern about her being there (if she needed a chaperone)

I remember driving two hours out of my way to drive groceries and mom's care packages to my sister st university

Don't feel bad if you do it.   I wouldn't worry about it if it were just a regular pool party and the sister wasn't too invested in it.

if you genuinely don't want to it, talk to your sister




Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 8:56pm
did we find out how old the sister was?


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:00pm
the sister is 14. 



Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:09pm
Make up an excuse right now. Like right this minute. And learn to say no in the future.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:15pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

the sister is 14. 




only 14,,,,yes she should do it...if she were way older then no...but only 14 yes...


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

Originally posted by Lite Brite Lite Brite wrote:

SN, but isn't trop the one who never returns to her threads to give us more info/updates?


that's usually sbrownieLOL

both of them


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:27pm
oh ok.  14 is a lil young.  op just go on and do it for the vine...


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:29pm
unless she recently turned 15… 

i wish i had siblings. 




Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 9:39pm
No shade but what is mama Punch doing that she cant take her baby to the party???

People already know better than to ask me some craziness like that I would laugh and hang up.


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 10:32pm
No 14 y/o wants their Mother at a teenage Pool Party

Sister will fit in better since the age difference in not that wide.

In the same situation, I will go especially if it is a co-ed party.

Some teenage boys don't know boundaries.





Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 10:53pm
14 ? How old is OP ? Is this party gonna be supervised ?


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 10:55pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.
its hard to do tho.Disapprove glad i finally learned thoLOL


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 10:58pm
i just skimmed again and i see the OP has 2 sisters… 

eta, okay.. they are 1 year apart. so either 13 and 14 or 14 and 15 

first quote is from a year ago.. second quote is from this year. 

Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

they are 12 and 13


Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

My mom and I live in separate households. My sister still lives at home. She's only 14 and there are no buses between here and there.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 11:09pm
Mannn look i live about 2hrs from my sis...i wish she would call me with such a request and i love that girl beyond words.ill come drive you to a campus tour or summin but u can kick rocks for Keisha pool party.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 11:47pm
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.
its hard to do tho.Disapprove glad i finally learned thoLOL

same thing i said...LOL

im learning too...i get better as time rolls around..


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 12:42am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

Kids too good to walk or catch the bus these days...smh.

My little sisters don't take the bus and they aren't really allowed to walk anywhere.  Too many psychos.


There are the same # of psychos, they just equipped with gps ie...(facebook, twitter) to know exactly where to go now...


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 12:49am
Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

Kids too good to walk or catch the bus these days...smh.

My little sisters don't take the bus and they aren't really allowed to walk anywhere.  Too many psychos.


There are the same # of psychos, they just equipped with gps ie...(facebook, twitter) to know exactly where to go now...

they're not on those social media platforms....soooooo no


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 12:50am
Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

14 ? How old is OP ? Is this party gonna be supervised ?

omgeee lil-hott is too cute. She's so big!


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 7:59am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

14 ? How old is OP ? Is this party gonna be supervised ?


omgeee lil-hott is too cute. She's so big!


Thanks Pity.


























































































































































































































































Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 8:26am
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

stop saying yes to things when you really mean no.
 



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