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Im the only black in my building and Im disliked

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Topic: Im the only black in my building and Im disliked
Posted By: sexyandfamous
Subject: Im the only black in my building and Im disliked
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 4:46pm
My next door neighbor is a Romanian white dude. He actually greets me here and there, we never really bump into each other. The other neighbors are white, except for a Cuban fat old lady, a Puerto Rican whose skin color is way lighter than me, and a Mexican super white guy who acts white and does not speak any Spanish.

Well, today I slammed my door at 10am. He opens his door angry and tells me to not do so. I was annoyed that he cared and told him it was not past 10pm. He told me I do it all the time, I told him it was untrue, and then he says "why do you have a bitchy attitude?". I was like do you know that is offensive? I did not cuss back. He then went off to say "well, would you like me to record you being loud?" and I said yes, if you have that much time in your hands do so.

I started walking away because I wanted to walk my dog that was already outside the apartment complex and he kept going about me not being a respectful neighbor. So we kept arguing and then he said "Everyone in the building thinks you are a b!tch". I told him I couldn't care less what anyone thinks, there are 7 billion people in the world, and then he interrupted me and said "Why don't you go talk like that with your gang friends?" I was like what, and he said "Just look at you". I was wearing sweatpants and a racer back top, I mean, how the fvck is that gangster. And then I called him a racist, he was like "I am a racist?" and I said "you just stereotyped me" and he goes "Just look at you" AGAIN. I think he meant to say I am ghetto, but he chose another word.

I told him other people in the building are loud and I don't hear him having a problem with them, and he said he actually did talk to those people so I said "then why didn't you just knock at my door and speak to me" and he said that he was trying to be really nice and that I aggravated him slamming my door today. I told him that name calling was unnecessary and he said it was because of my attitude and that I had issues. I told him to call the landlord then and he said he will and then he said my dog barks all the time. My dog had just come inside the building and he actually looked at my dog, probably HOPING it would bark so he could say it does all the time, but my dog was actually just waiting for me. I told him that is impossible, I have been living there for years and never heard a complaint and then he went off to say my dog does bark all the time  and he just never complained about it, so I was like, do it, call the landlord, you have the right to do so.

So he went off again about something, I told him everything was a lie, and then he said "well, I can see you are not going to apologize" and I was like "no, especially after you cussed me and made accusations". I walk away and told him to call the landlord and record me and he was like "be careful."

I went to the police and they told me that the landlord will not evict me due to dog barking or door slamming, even with him recording, and yes, it is legal in CA to record someone's noise, but they told me to let the landlord know he harassed me and I sent them an e-mail.

Now BHM what would you guys do in my situation?
I am really pissed that I was sterotyped. I did not know my neighbors were watching how I dress and making derogatory comments. I knew people disliked me because there is a couple who lives in my building (white woman, white mexican man) who really dislike me, and I noticed that when they befriend a neighbor (which is EVERYONE but me), the person automatically starts looking at me weird.



Replies:
Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 4:52pm
i wouldn't have stood there and engaged with him AT ALL.   Looked right through him and took my dog outside. 

Good thing you filed the report and you should contact your landlord.

If you could find better, I would just move.   We do need pioneers to fight racism wherever it festers but we have to pick your battles




Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 4:56pm
why did you slam your door though?


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:02pm
that guy is a racist asshole.  How many units are in your building?  It seems odd that everyone hates you when they don't know anything about you.  It must be a very small complex to attract all like minded racists.  

All of the neighbors I exchanged pleasantries and drink nights with have moved but I don't get how apt complex ppl can hate one another aside from noise, there's really not any contact since we all come and go at different times.  You've been there for years, don't let them run you off, who gives a sh*t about neighbors?  




Posted By: Up&Out39
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:02pm
^Ermm

eta: that wasnt to you, wonder


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:04pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:05pm
You need to arm yourself ASAP.

Either a metal bat, gun, pit bull, tatted nucca named Tyrone...something.

In all seriousness, in situations like this you need to be as wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. He wants you to get carnal so that they can have a reason to get you out of there. 


Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.

I cared to know more details, that's why I asked. Why are you mad?Confused If you're slamming doors for no reason then don't get mad when neighbors start coming after you *shrug*



Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:10pm
I would not have engaged or typed that much.


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:10pm
I have to ask, why did you slam the door? Also, I doubt  the building groups together and talks about you. If they do, then why is it that HE knows about what everyone thinks unless he's the damn ring leader. If there is NOTHING you did any of them, then their conversation wouldn't be long at all. If there is infact gossip about you then perhaps you can assess if there are any behaviors you can be exuding that can be rubbing neighbors the wrong way.

 I have to say, you standing there arguing with him (regardless of you not cursing and head rolling) did feed the "ghetto" stereotype in HIS mind. I know..I know...but we can't fight city hall. We can simply walk past someone while we're busy and not say "hi" then suddenly it's "Tammy has such a bad attitude all the time. She's always pissed" Ermm. ANYWAYS, if this is the first you've noticed a neighbor having a complaint and haven't had any other issues with anyone else I would just brush it off, be mindful of my actions, and keep living my life.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:11pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.

I cared to know more details, that's why I asked. Why are you mad?Confused If you're slamming doors for no reason then don't get mad when neighbors start coming after you *shrug*


I'm "mad" because it's very clear from the story that the guy did not care about the door or the dog.  Did you skip the "look at you" portion of the exchange??? Questioning the most insignificant part while skipping the blatant racism.


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:14pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?


I had to run because my dog was outside by himself.
he could have been attacked by another dog or kidnappedCry


Thanks for clearing that up.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:14pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?


I had to run because my dog was outside by himself.
he could have been attacked by another dog or kidnappedCry


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:16pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

that guy is a racist asshole.  How many units are in your building?  It seems odd that everyone hates you when they don't know anything about you.  It must be a very small complex to attract all like minded racists.  

All of the neighbors I exchanged pleasantries and drink nights with have moved but I don't get how apt complex ppl can hate one another aside from noise, there's really not any contact since we all come and go at different times.  You've been there for years, don't let them run you off, who gives a sh*t about neighbors?  




Nine units. The white woman and mexican guy have been living here before me. The people currently in the building have all been living here for at least 2 years. Me and the white woman NEVER got along. We hate each other's guts. She introduced herself to every single person who moved in this building but me - I have watched it her doing so all the 5 years I lived here.

I only say hello to people, I honestly really don't care about neighbors, never did in my whole life.


Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:17pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?


I had to run because my dog was outside by himself.
he could have been attacked by another dog or kidnappedCry

Unfortunately one of the downsides of living in apartments is dealing with neighbors. Like the other poster said, just try to be pleasant. Don't feed into any of the negativity by responding because clearly he has no problem with stepping to women. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:18pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

You need to arm yourself ASAP.

Either a metal bat, gun, pit bull, tatted nucca named Tyrone...something.

In all seriousness, in situations like this you need to be as wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. He wants you to get carnal so that they can have a reason to get you out of there. 


THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT!

he was trying to get a negative reaction from me. He probably expected me to cuss him or threaten him.

And every one saying I should have not interacted much are right, I should have walked away.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:18pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I would not have engaged or typed that much.




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:23pm
Originally posted by StylingArabella StylingArabella wrote:

I have to ask, why did you slam the door? Also, I doubt  the building groups together and talks about you. If they do, then why is it that HE knows about what everyone thinks unless he's the damn ring leader. If there is NOTHING you did any of them, then their conversation wouldn't be long at all. If there is infact gossip about you then perhaps you can assess if there are any behaviors you can be exuding that can be rubbing neighbors the wrong way.

 I have to say, you standing there arguing with him (regardless of you not cursing and head rolling) did feed the "ghetto" stereotype in HIS mind. I know..I know...but we can't fight city hall. We can simply walk past someone while we're busy and not say "hi" then suddenly it's "Tammy has such a bad attitude all the time. She's always pissed" Ermm. ANYWAYS, if this is the first you've noticed a neighbor having a complaint and haven't had any other issues with anyone else I would just brush it off, be mindful of my actions, and keep living my life.


The ringleader is actually the white woman and the mexican. They throw bbq and what not and has never invited me, but everyone else except the fat old Cuban woman were there. I have heard they saying negative things about neighbors who moved out (2 gay black guys as a matter of fact, but those guys had a serious fight one time where they broke the window and everyone had a reason to be scared thought).

I think they talk about me on those events.

I think he just wanted to attack me, because even though I was arguing with him I never cussed or threatened him.


Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:24pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.

I cared to know more details, that's why I asked. Why are you mad?Confused If you're slamming doors for no reason then don't get mad when neighbors start coming after you *shrug*


I'm "mad" because it's very clear from the story that the guy did not care about the door or the dog.  Did you skip the "look at you" portion of the exchange??? Questioning the most insignificant part while skipping the blatant racism.

Just stop.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:24pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.

I cared to know more details, that's why I asked. Why are you mad?Confused If you're slamming doors for no reason then don't get mad when neighbors start coming after you *shrug*


I'm "mad" because it's very clear from the story that the guy did not care about the door or the dog.  Did you skip the "look at you" portion of the exchange??? Questioning the most insignificant part while skipping the blatant racism.


Exactly. His problem is not the dog. I work from home, it is impossible my dog is barking all day when I am here and I don't like the barking myself. The door slamming may have been upsetting but thing is, he went far by not only accusing me of doing it all the time, but also by telling me I have a bitchy attitude.


Posted By: nemesis1
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:25pm
His remarks were just plain disrespectful and threatening (e.g. "Be careful").

You said he greets you here and there. He seems like the sort of person who appears to be nice in your face but talks about you behind your back; though this time he showed you his true colours. I would've said you shouldn't have given him the time of day, but your conversation w/ him gave you a glimpse of the sort of person he is. Next time, it is best to just walk away 'cuz some pple're just cray. Good thing you notified the police. Speak to the landlord too, if you haven't.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:26pm
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

honestly I would have given him one of these
and KIM

like how dare you even talk to me? shut it down right there...


I like the way you think. Will do so next time.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:30pm
For all it's worth, I don't think you handled that wrong. Next time, ignore his ass. You can even tell him you do not wish to engage with him and to take whatever complaint he has elsewhere.

And yes, he was threatening when he said Be careful. So make sure to mention that to the landlord. For all we know, he might think he's George Zimmerman


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:31pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?


I had to run because my dog was outside by himself.
he could have been attacked by another dog or kidnappedCry

Unfortunately one of the downsides of living in apartments is dealing with neighbors. Like the other poster said, just try to be pleasant. Don't feed into any of the negativity by responding because clearly he has no problem with stepping to women. 




FVCK that! I am not going to try to be pleasant after what this guy did. That just feeds the stereotype that blacks are docile to whites. That is what he thought it would happen. That is why he said "i can see you are not going to apologize" fvck him. I have never in my life had such a problem, I have never been calling gangster type, and he also pissed me off for talking about my dog, no one talks about my dog.

And yes, it is obvious he was being mr. tough guy because i am a single woman living alone. I bet if I had a man there he wouldn't have an issue.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:32pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

why did you slam your door though?

Who cares?  it was daytime and doors slam themselves sometimes because of wind or hinges may be messed up.  Unless she does it everyday it really is irrelevant.  He just used that because he doesn't like black people and probably hates when OP has a black boyfriend or friends come by.

I cared to know more details, that's why I asked. Why are you mad?Confused If you're slamming doors for no reason then don't get mad when neighbors start coming after you *shrug*


I'm "mad" because it's very clear from the story that the guy did not care about the door or the dog.  Did you skip the "look at you" portion of the exchange??? Questioning the most insignificant part while skipping the blatant racism.

Just stop.

Did I personally attack you?  She said she doesn't slam the door all the time, it happened that day.  Have you never slammed a door?  Anyway, kiss my ass and bye.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:33pm
Do NOT be pleasant or apologize under any circumstance. Just be dismissive of him. When he says something to you, look him up and down and walk away.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:33pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

For all it's worth, I don't think you handled that wrong. Next time, ignore his ass. You can even tell him you do not wish to engage with him and to take whatever complaint he has elsewhere.

And yes, he was threatening when he said Be careful. So make sure to mention that to the landlord. For all we know, he might think he's George Zimmerman



My friend suggested that I should not entertain him so that way I can file a restraining order if he continues to bug me.
I am going to get pepper spray because if he felt strong enough to cuss me, he may do more.
The police told me that if someone vandalizes my car anytime soon, that I could report him as the main suspect, but they wouldn't arrest him, just question him.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:36pm
He must was having a bad morning...


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:36pm
^Good thinking.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:36pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:


Just stop.


Did I personally attack you?  She said she doesn't slam the door all the time, it happened that day.  Have you never slammed a door?  Anyway, kiss my ass and bye.




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:37pm
QuestionOk guys, so answer me this:

let's say one day I am absent-minded or my dog pulls too hard or I simply slam my door, and he opens his door and starts with his bullsh*t, but let's say I ignore him as many posters suggest and he again calls me a b!tch. Then what?


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:39pm
Originally posted by rell85 rell85 wrote:

He must was having a bad morning...



That is no reason to stereotype someone, shout, cuss, and involve the whole building. He probably thoiught he would intimidate by letting me know no one likes me here.

I also forgot to say that when I was talking, he interrupted me with a "HEY!" and kept talking, so I interrupted him and told him not to hey me.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:39pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

QuestionOk guys, so answer me this:

let's say one day I am absent-minded or my dog pulls too hard or I simply slam my door, and he opens his door and starts with his bullsh*t, but let's say I ignore him as many posters suggest and he again calls me a b!tch. Then what?



Keep on ignoring him and report the incident to the landlord. That's more ammunition to get a restraining order on him if need be. Keep a log of any aggressive behaviour and practice the white tears. Say that he's making you feel unsafe (to landlord, police, whomever). Around him, just smirk.


Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:40pm
How very classy, ms. wonderland.


Posted By: leftywefty
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

QuestionOk guys, so answer me this:

let's say one day I am absent-minded or my dog pulls too hard or I simply slam my door, and he opens his door and starts with his bullsh*t, but let's say I ignore him as many posters suggest and he again calls me a b!tch. Then what?


Keep ignoring.. call the police. Don't try to go head to head with that goon. 


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 5:54pm
Op u could always charge him with harssment. Google gave me this

You would need to inform the person to stop the behavior and have no further contact - this should be done by a written letter certified mail with a return receipt requested to show that demand to stop was made and delivered

If contact happens beyond this time it qualifies as harassment


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by leftywefty leftywefty wrote:

How very classy, ms. wonderland.

How very white of you, was going to be my response to your initial post but I did take the classy route and I respect that about myself.


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 6:14pm
Who gives a why she slammed the door? She's grown and pays her bills so yes, occassionally a door may be slammed. He had no right to go off on her like that. Unless it's excessive and constant he should have just sat his ass in his house and dealt with it. One of the drawbacks of living in an apt instead of being a homeowner is that you have to deal with the idiosyncrasies of other tenants. If Vladimir dont like it then go live in a trailer park or try to buy a home with his fked up credit havin ass.

OP why do you live in an area where you're the only black? I cant imagine that...They dont want you there at all and probably do talk about you.  I know one thing, you need to look up your weapons laws in your state and get armed because I couldnt feel safe laying my head where people are so openly hostile to me b/c of the color of my skin.  That man was looking for an excuse to physically attack you. If you had been less passive (not criticizing how you handled it), he would have used that as justification to hurt you physically then probably called the cops on YOU

Please do me a favor and document this situation and call the landlord. But dont stop there b/c the landlord probably racist too. Tape record your conversation with the landlord and I wouldnt be mad if you took it far enough to call the police and say you felt threatened by his behavior towards you. He was verbally aggressive, in your personal space and threatened you.

Girl you better than me because my inner Boomquisha would have erupted. If he thought I was gangsta before he would have had no doubt in his mind b/c I would have bucked the f up on him and been ready for whatever..I cant let nobody talk to me like that, especially a racist ass and just get away with it.

Ignore these folks acting like you supposed to be some boot licking passive aunt jemima. sh*t Jim Crow days are over with, you dont have to be subservient to him


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 6:50pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

QuestionOk guys, so answer me this:

let's say one day I am absent-minded or my dog pulls too hard or I simply slam my door, and he opens his door and starts with his bullsh*t, but let's say I ignore him as many posters suggest and he again calls me a b!tch. Then what?


If he does anything threatening, like name calling or getting in your personal space or even just raising his voice above a whisper, take out your phone and start recording. Don't say anything but "I'm recording you because I feel threatened". He'll likely stop immediately but either way you have a record of him even interacting with you.

Anything he needs to say to you can and should be addressed to the landlords. Otherwise, I would pretend he doesn't exist.


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:12pm
Nvr mind


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:16pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Op u could always charge him with harssment. Google gave me this

You would need to inform the person to stop the behavior and have no further contact - this should be done by a written letter certified mail with a return receipt requested to show that demand to stop was made and delivered

If contact happens beyond this time it qualifies as harassment


The police said I can file a restraining order but I have to go to court, and since it only happened once, I am not going to bother with it yet.
I am going to ignore him and let him be, if he keeps pushing me, then eventually I will warn him verbally that I will file a restraining order, then I will do so in writing as you suggested and finally I will go to court.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:19pm
You would have a better chance of getting the retraining order if you can show the time line and that you tried to handle it outside of court.

Or at the very least get it in writing that you notified the landlord that way it wont seem like a frivolous claim made by a bitter neighbor.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:20pm
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

Who gives a why she slammed the door? She's grown and pays her bills so yes, occassionally a door may be slammed. He had no right to go off on her like that. Unless it's excessive and constant he should have just sat his ass in his house and dealt with it. One of the drawbacks of living in an apt instead of being a homeowner is that you have to deal with the idiosyncrasies of other tenants. If Vladimir dont like it then go live in a trailer park or try to buy a home with his fked up credit havin ass.

OP why do you live in an area where you're the only black? I cant imagine that...They dont want you there at all and probably do talk about you.  I know one thing, you need to look up your weapons laws in your state and get armed because I couldnt feel safe laying my head where people are so openly hostile to me b/c of the color of my skin.  That man was looking for an excuse to physically attack you. If you had been less passive (not criticizing how you handled it), he would have used that as justification to hurt you physically then probably called the cops on YOU

Please do me a favor and document this situation and call the landlord. But dont stop there b/c the landlord probably racist too. Tape record your conversation with the landlord and I wouldnt be mad if you took it far enough to call the police and say you felt threatened by his behavior towards you. He was verbally aggressive, in your personal space and threatened you.

Girl you better than me because my inner Boomquisha would have erupted. If he thought I was gangsta before he would have had no doubt in his mind b/c I would have bucked the f up on him and been ready for whatever..I cant let nobody talk to me like that, especially a racist ass and just get away with it.

Ignore these folks acting like you supposed to be some boot licking passive aunt jemima. sh*t Jim Crow days are over with, you dont have to be subservient to him


Never thought about it but I have seen only 3 blacks who have lived here for years... besides them the last ones were 3 blacks girls who rented a house but moved out a year later.
I already e-mailed the landlord about the issue and I let them know I spoke to the police. The landlords are Jewish Israelis, never had a problem with them, and once I was a whole month late on my rent (I was broke and in debt) and they did not even send me a note telling me I had 3 days to pay.

I wanted to cuss him and tell him to fvck off but I knew that was what he wanted, so I did not give him that.

and LMAO at your aunt Jemina commentLOL


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:24pm
Oh and don't apologize for sh*t. I know how these white people are out here and I have a strong policy of not apologizing to white strangers just because they want me to. They have some bad habits regarding ownership and how they feel like they own everything whether it's the aisle in the grocery store or the sidewalk or the air around them.


Posted By: NadiaPost
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:26pm
YT stays trying it with people. My girlfriend is the only black person in her condo development and they don't like her. This white woman sent her brolick fireman hubby to knock on my friends door to tell her to stop her son from bouncing the ball. He knocked on the door didn't even start the convo with " Good Afternoon or Hello can you, he started with " Can you do something with your kid. . So words were exchanged, the door was slammed and a couple of F-U's were delivered and now my friend takes her sons ball and bounces it on purpose just for spite


Posted By: NadiaPost
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:27pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I would not have engaged or typed that much.




insensitive black folks


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:48pm
I would buried that Brotha late at night in all black and in white face and him thinking it was a white lol.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 7:54pm
how old is he? 
is he gay? 

oh and i agree with others.. you handled it well but next time dont engage/entertain him. hes not your dad and if theres a problem the only person who can police you about your door is the landlord and have him/her speak to you about it. 
i kinda want you to tell him that you feel threatened and like he seems like the gangster telling you to, 'be careful' and calling you a bitch.. but it would probably be best to not say anything next time. 




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 8:26pm
@Coco, I think he is in his late 40's, early 50's. eta: forgot to add that he is married to a Romanian woman who dislikes me a lot, she always looks at me like she saw the devil or something, never greets me and even if she is getting out of her apt at the same time as me, she will look down at the floor to avoid any interaction.

@Nadia, yes, that's how he started the convo, he first shouted "hey" from inside his apt and then he came out with crazy eyes and speaking behind tightly closed teeth. That's why when he said that he had spoken many times with the people who live above him about noise, I realized it was a personal matter, because he SPOKE to them, but with me he just went straight to my neck by telling me to stop slamming the door, then accusing me of doing it all the time, and finally by telling me I had a bitchy attitude.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I would not have engaged or typed that much.


Too many people here on BHM have only written half the story on their first post, and then they have to go back and forth explaining what else, and so and so background and blablabla and with that not only they are called liars or they are "hiding" something, but the thread turns into something else, so I'd rather just give the whole story on the 1st post (although I did forget one part, which I posted on page 4 or 5).

But I do agree with you I should not have engaged much.




Oh and btw, I got pepper spray, just in case he tries to be funny with me.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 8:34pm
people can not be serious about a slamming door in an apt building 

If that bothers you need a house on a large lot and until that happens, hush

A lady cried actual white tears because I wasn't going to give up my window seat to her I didn't even listen to her foolish reasons, just told her to hush and get a private jet.   




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 8:37pm
Exactly, ricky, it is really a petty issue, he just had been saving up on his complaints against me for a while, and today he decided that it was the day to lash out.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 9:08pm
i agree w maysay... record him

Use your judgement while in the situation on whether you inform him or not

Don't think there's an expectation of privacy in public spaces




Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 9:21pm
I would have ignored him, but if it happens again start recording, and get yourself a bat to keep by your door.


Posted By: Wynter
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 10:16pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

QuestionOk guys, so answer me this:

let's say one day I am absent-minded or my dog pulls too hard or I simply slam my door, and he opens his door and starts with his bullsh*t, but let's say I ignore him as many posters suggest and he again calls me a b!tch. Then what?



A simple fk you will do, but that's just me. I am the only black person in my building too and dude tried it with me once and I politely shut it down. He breaks his neck to say hello now. I have that dont fk with me face so I don't get called a bitch though.

ETA: How do you know they talk about you if you don't speak to anyone?


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 11:27pm

Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

people can not be serious about a slamming door in an apt building 


If that bothers you need a house on a large lot and until that happens, hush


A lady cried actual white tears because I wasn't going to give up my window seat to her I didn't even listen to her foolish reasons, just told her to hush and get a private jet.   





I was thinking the same thing. Buy a detached home if doors bother you. If not, sit your ass down in your apartment and pay your damn rent. I mean you slammed a door at 10am, not 6am, not 1am but 10am. like sir----go awaySleepy


When I really wanna curse people out but know better I just say some sh*t like "sir/ma'am stay blessed" or like "namaste." Nothing gets on peoples nerves more actually.


And I don't think you reacted out of turn nor that you spoke too much. It's easy to tell someone they did the most AFTER the incident happened.



Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 11:32pm
@sexyandfamous

I copied this from your post on the Inspirational Thread

Good Morning Sisters and Brothers,

I pray that you all are walking in the joy of the Lord. Start your day with God by never getting tired of serving faithfully. Stay in tune with the Holy Spirit and allow Jesus to be glorified in all that you do. Don’t give room to the flesh, stay to close to God and hear His voice speak to you. Others will always tempt you to act out on your frustration but never give in. Be the bigger person, and trust God always. “Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you.” (1 Sam 12:24 ESV) So be encouraged this morning and trust and STAND NO MATTER WHAT ON THE WORD OF GOD.


Sorry to read about what you're going through


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 28 2014 at 11:47pm
II know Benni, I was thinking about that... didn't talk to God at all today because I was super mad.
I am more relaxed now, actually it was really good to have read the posts in here, because the cop didn't offer much options, he just said I could file a restraining order and that I would not be evicted, but the girls here suggested that I ignore him (which most likely will upset him, thus make him say more sh!t so I can record) and use the recordings against him in court.


@Wynter, well the couple who dislikes me has said negative things about two former tenants, so I knew they were that kinda of people. The guy just confirmed to me that people say negative things about me because he stated what everyone thinks.

@Epitome, yeah, that's why he kept pushing me, because he probably expected me to attack him or something, and since I didn't even cuss him back, he kept making up things. I am not going to even bother talking to him, except the first time I record him, which I will tell him (while recording our interaction) that I'll file a restraining order if he keeps harassing me. Then after that, not even namaste for that b!tch, which will piss him off.


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 12:09am
He is a asshole because there is such a thing as a respectable amount of noise and he seems to just been looking for a reason to confront you so you give him some act right but you cant let yourself being baited into situation with ignorant mofos.
I would document each situation and act like I was in the distress over the tone of his voice and felt threatened let him dig his own grave, reminds me of my neighbor mad when my surround sound is over 20 aint no one tell you to live in the basement better be happy I don't let my son friends over and do the electric slide all night.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 12:56am
They all have too much time, I would ignore all of them Not speak, not hold the door or elevator, if I got the mail by accident in the trash it would be. 


UNLESS your landlord has said something to you directly , phuck him and his second hand information. 



Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 12:57am
Be careful about recording him though. Read up on that section of Calif Law. I know in some places it is illegal to do so without first informing the individual.

Good Luck


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:01am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

They all have too much time, I would ignore all of them Not speak, not hold the door or elevator, if I got the mail by accident in the trash it would be. 


UNLESS your landlord has said something to you directly , phuck him and his second hand information. 



There is no elevators because there is only 2 floors and 9 apartments, so I just see those people when one of them is coming out of their car and I am getting my mail or vice-versa.

I already reported the situation to the landlord and told them that most likely they will be contacted by him about his petty stories, plus I am not scared of the landlord anyways now that I know no one can evict me or fine me over silly stuff like that.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:03am
Originally posted by Benni Benni wrote:

Be careful about recording him though. Read up on that section of Calif Law. I know in some places it is illegal to do so without first informing the individual.

Good Luck


but here in CA there are tons of celebrities that are recorded all the time even when they don't want to and tell the papparazzi to move away, so I don't think I need his consent. I am only recording him when he speaks to me.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:23am
If you are going to record someone over the phone, legally you have to inform them that the call is being recorded.

In person, as long as they can see you, then it's ok even if they tell you stop recording (unless they're a police officer or you are otherwise harassing/assaulting them in another way).

Basically, you can't be covert about it.


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:24am
I would have laughed and kept walking. 

I then would have reported him to the landlord, the "be careful" comment can be perceived as a threat, and him calling you out of your name is definitely harassment. He certainly would have been warned moreso than you slamming the door. The latter is minor, him threatening you and calling you out of your name is an ENTIRELY different story and goes to your safety in the home you pay to live in every month. Get evil. Let the landlord know you were threatened. Please believe white people do their dirt in silence, so when he said he would "record you" and tell the landlord. What he really meant was that he and his Klan would be recording you and reporting you. Their goal is to get you out. 

I see no relevance in you slamming the door. Doors slam. So what. Part of living in an apartment complex is the possibility of noise. If he don't like it, either rent a mutherphuckin house or report it to the landlord... it's that simple. I've heard people arguing, having parties, and doors slam before. It's not a big deal because it's not retarded loud or anything and it's very rare. 

It disgusts me, how racists will approach you crazy and when you respond you are "confirming stereotypes". Phuck that. Who cares about stereotypes? He had preconceived notions from the jump. You being docile would not erase his negative perceptions of you. I'm sick of black people "caring" how white people perceive us. 




Posted By: iluvmihair
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:49am
Perfect plan, Sexy. Clap
-Get the pepper spray in hand. 
-Record him the next time he tries to talk to you, let it be heard in the video that you asked him not to speak to you and direct all comments to the landlord. That goes for any other neighbor who decides to pop up on the same tip. AND be sure that if they come near you/ follow you, you ask them to back up because you feel threatened, so that you will be well within your rights to mace.

I see it as a blessing you talked to him because now you know where his head is at. Stay in God and ask for guidance. Keep your head up and a smile on. They wont break you and when you move, it won't be at their hands. 

Ps 27:6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. Smile


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 12:35pm
I am not recording him over the phone. Only if he says something to me I will. I will not randomly record him.
I am taking my pepper spray with me when I walk my dog, just in case he tries something when I am walking in or out of the building.
I already let the landlord know about the issue and that the police told me to do so, plus the loser has no case, regardless of how many fake complaints he makes or for recording me. Even if he does record me, he would have to edit that sh*t so the landlord would know how many times whatever noise was heard, so he is going to spend way too much time on this bs, while I am going to do my thing.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:26pm
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

Ignore these folks acting like you supposed to be some boot licking passive aunt jemima. sh*t Jim Crow days are over with, you dont have to be subservient to him
DeadLOLLOL


Posted By: indiecat
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 2:34pm
I don't think your neighbors really think that of you, just that guy does. He was probably trying to upset you and he is a racist. you handled everything perfectly. those neighbors are not paying your rent or bills, so who cares what they think.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:01pm
I don't care what they think. But I am upset that I let him speak to me in that manner. I wish I had walked away like many people said they would.
Anyways, he spent the whole day yesterday out and today they disappeared. I think his wife heard me on the phone (when I was walking towards my apt) that I went to the police and they can't evict me over silly crap and I can file a restraining order.
The guy is either pissed that he didn't scare me with his threat or he is scared that I will file a restraining order.



eta: cross that., i just heard them inside. I think their recorder is on and they are trying to pick up any noise in my house. That is really creepy actually...


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:44pm
Move, if youre able. 


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:45pm
How thin are these walls where yall could hear so much of whats going on in a neighbors apt.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:49pm
why do you think they're recording 


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I don't care what they think. But I am upset that I let him speak to me in that manner. I wish I had walked away like many people said they would.
Anyways, he spent the whole day yesterday out and today they disappeared. I think his wife heard me on the phone (when I was walking towards my apt) that I went to the police and they can't evict me over silly crap and I can file a restraining order.
The guy is either pissed that he didn't scare me with his threat or he is scared that I will file a restraining order.



eta: cross that., i just heard them inside. I think their recorder is on and they are trying to pick up any noise in my house. That is really creepy actually...


you dont know this is going on.  you should let this go before you start doing weird sh*t.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:00pm
Op





Her neighbors



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:03pm
Lmao 

Tatee's comment reminds me of the plot of a few movies I've seen...at first you were right but then you let it lead u to a downward spiral of crazy.  Don't pay it any mind, yet.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:12pm




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jun 29 2014 at 4:58pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

How thin are these walls where yall could hear so much of whats going on in a neighbors apt.


They are not that thin, I only heard loud tv or loud music from people next door, but from the one upstairs I can hear her stomping, dog running... The guy said I slam my door and my dog barks, so actually he claimed I was disrespectful because I slammed doors, thing is, that is not true.


Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Lmao 

Tatee's comment reminds me of the plot of a few movies I've seen...at first you were right but then you let it lead u to a downward spiral of crazy.  Don't pay it any mind, yet.



true. didn't think of that, i may start becoming paranoid, especially after he involved the whole building on our argument.
oh, and he claimed he would record me to prove that I slam my door.



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