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For the women 30+ who are single and dating...

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=371483
Printed Date: Oct 18 2017 at 7:27am


Topic: For the women 30+ who are single and dating...
Posted By: Marcelo22
Subject: For the women 30+ who are single and dating...
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:07pm
how has the dating scene changed for you compared to your 20s? does it seem that you have more or less options than in the past? 



Replies:
Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:11pm
I'd think there'd be more workable options

Partners are more established, more ready to settle down




Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:18pm
I'm married but I would say the pickings are slim just based off of my friends experiences dating in their 30's. 


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:20pm
Please don't let me be dating in my 30s please. :((((


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:22pm
yes, I am about everything




Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


talking to single women in their 30s

seems like the pickings are slim and their standards are higher

ricky is so optimistic


I would agree. The ones I've encountered seem just as delusional if not more than 20 something's. Once they hit late thirties early-forties they come back down to earth. 


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:32pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Please don't let me be dating in my 30s please. :((((

I see u being a single mother of 2 at 30


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:34pm
no man should get married in their 30's

either do that really young in your twenties

or wait till you hit 40


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:34pm
 

My friend has lowered her standard so much that it makes me sad. She held onto her virginity for 30 years hoping that God would send her the man of her dreams, has her own business, beautiful, sweet girl. And she is with an arrogant, manipulative weed head who doesn't work but claims he dibbles and dabbles in different business ventures. Nicca please. She is soo in love and I feel like she can do better.


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:35pm
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Please don't let me be dating in my 30s please. :((((

I see u being a single mother of 2 at 30



LOL


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:37pm
I would think that's a prime time..
Nah?


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:38pm
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Please don't let me be dating in my 30s please. :((((

I see u being a single mother of 2 at 30

Girl bye.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

 

My friend has lowered her standard so much that it makes me sad. She held onto her virginity for 30 years hoping that God would send her the man of her dreams, has her own business, beautiful, sweet girl. And she is with an arrogant, manipulative weed head who doesn't work but claims he dibbles and dabbles in different business ventures. Nicca please. She is soo in love and I feel like she can do better.

  u couldn't even make this up


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:42pm
seems like there would be more options at that age.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:43pm
Thunder is so damn mean


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:44pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


why afro?


marriage is a redundant idea in your 30's for a man.

i mean dont get it wrong, i feel its great.. but your 30's are (should be) the life you spent your 20's creating so enjoy it, dont get constrained to particular life because its expected of you..

do everything in your thirties and spend your batteries.. come forties you;re ready to settle down and avoid that midlife crisis and just live the suburban life
travel live love repeat repeat repeat repeat

if you meet someone who is great and chances are you will in your 30's, cool, but approach your thirties without that pressure of getting married to tick a box..

plus your dating pool in your 30's spans across 20 years

now who wouldnt want that?

fresh grapes one night

vintage wine the next


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:44pm
so aint no single 30+ women on Blackhairmedia?


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:45pm
Becoming a parent in your 40s seems awful though.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:46pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Thunder is so damn mean
nah

he gonn' be the daddy


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:47pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

seems like there would be more options at that age.


options,

resources

opportunities

ventures

adventures

freedom


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

no man should get married in their 30's

either do that really young in your twenties

or wait till you hit 40


is the 40 yr old man marrying a 40 yr old woman?


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:52pm
30s is the perfect time for a man for dating but I dont know about women which is why i wanted to hear their input. I know women in their 20s have a lot of fun.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:53pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Becoming a parent in your 40s seems awful though.
debateable,

seen some young parents struggle financially because they werent established in careers and the cost of childcare deferred a lot of dreams

some cant even enjoy their lives because of having to work overtime etc etc

its a choice though





Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:54pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

no man should get married in their 30's

either do that really young in your twenties

or wait till you hit 40


is the 40 yr old man marrying a 40 yr old woman?


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:54pm
i would think the pickins would be slimmer in the 40s

Kids from other relationships, second marriages, serial dating, people stuck in their ways/uncompromising

But you only need to find one, any which way will work ... it's not impossible 




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:56pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

no man should get married in their 30's

either do that really young in your twenties

or wait till you hit 40


is the 40 yr old man marrying a 40 yr old woman?

Right lol


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:56pm
i feel like i need to be single the first couple years of my 30s.  i know the options are WAY better.  you can pretty much tell what the story is going to be with any guy right off the bat.  there's no more wiggle room in your 30s...either you have sh*t going on or you don't.  none of that stand by and wait crap they try to pull in your 20s.

plus i agree with the comments about freedom.  there's more money, freedom, and time.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:56pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Becoming a parent in your 40s seems awful though.
debateable,

seen some young parents struggle financially because they werent established in careers and the cost of childcare deferred a lot of dreams

some cant even enjoy their lives because of having to work overtime etc etc

its a choice though


Ehhhh.....
I can't see myself chasing after toddlers in my 40s.
I'd have to have a staff like the rich folks. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:57pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

no man should get married in their 30's

either do that really young in your twenties

or wait till you hit 40


is the 40 yr old man marrying a 40 yr old woman?


but we'd fucck


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:58pm
I want to be married by 30 and making babies my 35 my uterus already told me she doesn't have the time or the patience


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 6:59pm
AK evil too lol


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:00pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I want to be married by 30 and making babies my 35 my uterus already told me she doesn't have the time or the patience

GIRL.
I don't even think mine will make it to 35. 
I need to get on it within the next 7 years. 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:00pm
im going to date around for 2 yrs, spread my wings, then marry my ex at 32.  i hope he doesn't get anyone pregnant by then.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:03pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

im going to date around for 2 yrs, spread my wings, then marry my ex at 32.  i hope he doesn't get anyone pregnant by then.

why arent u with your ex right now


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:04pm
pickings are slim but ion care cause i don't want to get married unless dude is rich. i guess that's where the slim pickings part comes into playLOL


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:04pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

pickings are slim but ion care cause i don't want to get married unless dude is rich. i guess that's where the slim pickings part comes into playLOL


don't do like Eve. HOld out for a Billionaire.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:06pm
Thunder when you want to get married?


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:06pm
cha ching LOL


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:07pm
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

im going to date around for 2 yrs, spread my wings, then marry my ex at 32.  i hope he doesn't get anyone pregnant by then.

why arent u with your ex right now

because we were only 19 when our relationship started and we've both been living our own lives since then sometimes together, sometimes apart.  


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:09pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


who is thunder?


Marcelo22 the Op.
That's the handle that stuck most with me


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:09pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

im going to date around for 2 yrs, spread my wings, then marry my ex at 32.  i hope he doesn't get anyone pregnant by then.

why arent u with your ex right now

because we were only 19 when our relationship started and we've both been living our own lives since then sometimes together, sometimes apart.  

will the marriage be the same way?


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:10pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Thunder when you want to get married?

late 30s if all goes as planned


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:11pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

 

because we were only 19 when our relationship started and we've both been living our own lives since then sometimes together, sometimes apart.  


so you believe in that '...it'll come back to you' thing?
you're not worried about someone snatching him up even though he's meant for you? LOL
 


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:14pm
Idk, I didn't really date, just fukked. And had a few long terms. Guys are more sensible and mature now.

More attainable goals and less pipe dreams.


Posted By: keepgrowing
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:15pm
Smile


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:17pm
Both of yall exes gone go get white women cause yall playin' around.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:18pm
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

im going to date around for 2 yrs, spread my wings, then marry my ex at 32.  i hope he doesn't get anyone pregnant by then.

why arent u with your ex right now

because we were only 19 when our relationship started and we've both been living our own lives since then sometimes together, sometimes apart.  

will the marriage be the same way?

LOL  no...we were both going our own way as far as education, jobs/career...we lived in separate states multiple times yet somehow we still see each other a couple times a year every year.  

@purp...he has a girlfriend right now.  sh*t, i have a boyfriend.  i'm not worried about her.  
...unless she gets pregnant. Stern Smile

i have done soul searching on it...i am not banking on it happening, i'm seriously not delusional...anything could happen. i just have this feeling about it, but it doesn't stop me from going forth and keeping my options open.  


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:22pm
Wonder do yall have some kind of agreement like if you aren't married by a certain age you'll marry each other?

My GF made one of those 'let's meet for an affair in 20 years' agreement in college w/ her sweetheart. It's from some old movie.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:27pm
LOL  kinda, purp.  and we're actually at the age where we said we would...

girlfriend will have to disappear before i dedicate any serious thought to it.  i don't want his relationship or mine to end for each other...that's a recipe for disaster.  we will both have to end up single at the same time.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:29pm
theres really people out here in committed relationships waiting on their exes to break up with their partner so they can get married?


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:30pm
smh you act like i said i'm looking at wedding dresses...nga, don't do too much.  that's my friend for life, regardless.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:33pm
U scandalous....if I was your current dude, I'd be

He probably been looking at engagement rings thinking u the one and u planning a secret wedding with a dude in another state that u so happen to see twice a year. SMH, you wrong!!!


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:35pm
i love my boyfriend too, he still has a chance.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:40pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i love my boyfriend too, he still has a chance.




Posted By: Junior Jr
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:40pm
page 6 is such bizarre 

jr.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:43pm
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i love my boyfriend too, he still has a chance.




Lmao


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:50pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

i love my boyfriend too, he still has a chance.

http://daph-88.tumblr.com" rel="nofollow">


You know you and your boo thang are gonna reconnect. I c u wonderland.LOLLOL



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:52pm
Lmao


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 8:00pm
are you in love with him Wonder?

(this ain't your Q&A thread huh lol)

eta: referring to the ex, if you're gonna answer 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 8:16pm
No, I'm not in love with him. We are just very very close. In the right climate I will be again.
I don't feel jealous of his girlfriend so I feel like I'm just letting life play out.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 8:41pm
ok.
don't mind me and my q's. I'm just fascinated by people who have those type of feelings for their ex.

It's so strange to me lol. But I've heard it from people before.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 8:58pm
it seems natural for some ppl to feel that way, especially if you never had a bad break up.

my friends question me about it, the ones i trust to tell enough details to...but i never ask for advice because i know i'm not going to listen or change my mind about anything. lol  


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:02pm
I agree that it's probably natural. I know I'm a weirdo.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:04pm
lol technically we're the weirdos.  but it's normal-weird, not break in and sleep in the laundry room and smell the dirty sheets weird.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:22pm
i dont think i wanna be settled down at 30...
30 is still young..

pickings will def be A LOT more slimmer...most people will have kids by then...

and thats a dealbreaker 


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:30pm
All the 30+ women I know who are dating say it's great. But I think that's because of the circles they run in. They're in places where there are a lot of eligible men/women to choose from.

I'll be 30 in a couple years and I'm sure it'll be even worse than it is now. But I can't compromise my standards so I'm cool with it.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:31pm
*Hum's Sevyn Streeter's nEXt*


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:33pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

*Hum's Sevyn Streeter's nEXt*

LMAO girl...one day i was singing along to that in the car and i was like omggg i love this song, my bf literally said "really?  what's so good about it? Ermm"  me:  "i like the melody?"


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:37pm
He was probably watching you like Sam L Jackson when you gave that answer Wonderland.LOL

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/SLJ.gif" rel="nofollow">SLJ




Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:43pm
LOLLOL lemme just delete this thread from my browser history


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:49pm
LOL


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 9:55pm
if MsW's bf finds this thread



Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 10:06pm
Holding out hope he is the one selected.

http://www.rapconqueso.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/drake-crying.jpg" rel="nofollow">drake crying




Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 10:45pm

not dating.  but pickins still seem great!



Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:03pm
My friend met a guy 6 months ago on vacation, she just turned 30 last wk. She went to visit him and family.... barely paid attn to the man, made him rent a car, tote her and her friends around, pay for her activities,dinner, etc and didnt even hold his hand then started complaining about how she thought men in their 30s would have it together LOL

In her defense, it was unintentional cause she was tryna "host" everyone but idk what 30 has in store for me Ouch


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:18pm
Afro can wait cause sperm stays virile but @40 a Sistas eggs begin to scramble...


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:24pm
^CryLOL


The longer I stay in school, the longer that date gets pushed back and the number of kids shrinks.




Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:41pm
Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

Afro can wait cause sperm stays virile but @40 a Sistas eggs begin to scramble...
no

they get scrambled by the d

but with age, they start to get powdery

like skimmed milk powder or egg white powder


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:43pm
Yeah... dont nobody want expired eggs or milk


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 12:10am

It actually scares me the truly lonely guys out there that are trying to speak to me about kids/marriage before we've even officially started dating.  Makes me want to stay single/childless all the more.  I just want sex, why can't I just have sex?



Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 12:44am
Who the fck wants kids at 40?


Posted By: indiecat
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 1:22am
Not 30 yet, in a couple more years I will be. I seem to get young guys hitting on me, I don't look my age. Yes, but a lot of losers. I'm sick of losers.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 1:28am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Who the fck wants kids at 40?
a comfortable man

Ha ha
/big L


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 1:48am
how many 20 somethings like men 40+?

Would he need to be wealthy or really attractive or would any 40 something do if they are nice/sweet?

Women can't wait until 40 to get married if they want kids after marriage, so it's a 20s or 30s question

Choosing someone same age or older that's a diff question




Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 1:50am
If a 40+ dude hit on me I'd be disgusted. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:16am
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

If a 40+ dude hit on me I'd be disgusted. 
like you got options outchea

Gtfoh


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:21am
Girl bye. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:22am


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:32am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

how many 20 somethings like men 40+?

Would he need to be wealthy or really attractive or would any 40 something do if they are nice/sweet?

Women can't wait until 40 to get married if they want kids after marriage, so it's a 20s or 30s question

Choosing someone same age or older that's a diff question
Or be able to knock off that student loan debt quickly. Help a sista out.LOL


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:44am
Wonder out of your bf and your ex who had/has the best d?



Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 3:30am
Shaaaaaaaade!


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 3:58am


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 5:00am
How is that shade?


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 6:24am


I think we had a thread on old African men before


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 7:25am
Originally posted by Marcelo22 Marcelo22 wrote:

Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

 

My friend has lowered her standard so much that it makes me sad. She held onto her virginity for 30 years hoping that God would send her the man of her dreams, has her own business, beautiful, sweet girl. And she is with an arrogant, manipulative weed head who doesn't work but claims he dibbles and dabbles in different business ventures. Nicca please. She is soo in love and I feel like she can do better.

  u couldn't even make this up


I pray I never encounter dick this good......Cry


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 7:33am
I need to get my dack game on another level


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 7:45am
It ain't about the dack being all that good. It's about her being desperate. That's what happen when you wait 30 years to acknowledge your most basic desires. So starved for affection and craving physical touch that she ends up with the first loser that comes along. Brilliant strategy.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 8:04am
Her father and mother and more from her father was suppose to choose a man for her.


Posted By: MsBMW
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 8:17am
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

I'm married but I would say the pickings are slim just based off of my friends experiences dating in their 30's. 

I am told this as well..#teammarried


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 8:25am
Geek



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