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If you need daycare you shouldnt have children

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Printed Date: Nov 22 2017 at 11:42am


Topic: If you need daycare you shouldnt have children
Posted By: jonesable
Subject: If you need daycare you shouldnt have children
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:12pm
I heard this comment today while at lunch and it mad me think of the hair braiding thread...


The lady who made the comment is well to do and a stay at home mother.
She doesn't feel anyone should be tending to her kids but her and her husband. Also if parents can't afford to have one stay home they can't afford children.

You agree?

This made me think of other things that children might go to as well where a parent might not be all the time




Replies:
Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:13pm
Well you know I totally agree.


Posted By: Lonisha87
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:13pm
No, that's stuoid as . Not everyone can be a stay at home mom. Nor should they be.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:14pm

i thought this a few years ago...not sure if i feel this way now...


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:15pm
no


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:17pm
if you can't afford daycare knowing you need it then...good luck bc it's about to be real hard.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:17pm
I don't think you need to be a helicopter parent to be a good one.

If that's the case parents who send their children to school are bad parents too.
Lord knows the things that can happen there.


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:17pm
LOL no.. fckin ridiculous


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:18pm
I always made it clear when I have a baby, I'm staying at home until my baby is at least 3 (they need interaction with other kids). So the men I chose had to make enough for me to stay at home. But I dont agree..


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:18pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

if you can't afford daycare knowing you need it then...good luck bc it's about to be real hard.


I don't think that's in the context of what she means.

You can afford daycare but can't afford to be a stay at home mom or you don't want to..

She is anti working mother bc she feels it hurts the children


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:19pm
I see what she was getting at but i disagree


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:19pm
I think if you have a baby, and that baby has to spend more time with other people than its own parents, then yeah, you shouldn't have had that baby in the first place.




Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:19pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I heard this comment today while at lunch and it mad me think of the hair braiding thread...


The lady who made the comment is well to do and a stay at home mother.
She doesn't feel anyone should be tending to her kids but her and her husband. Also if parents can't afford to have one stay home they can't afford children.

You agree?

This made me think of other things that children might go to as well where a parent might not be all the time



That's not practical.
And, unless there are other kids in the house, kids need other kids to be properly socialised among their peers.

Unless she is paying for other people's daycare, I'm gonna have to help her to a plastic seat, thanks. 



Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:19pm
I guess....
I never went to daycare....that's what grandparents are for.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:20pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

if you can't afford daycare knowing you need it then...good luck bc it's about to be real hard.


I don't think that's in the context of what she means.

You can afford daycare but can't afford to be a stay at home mom or you don't want to..

She is anti working mother bc she feels it hurts the children

she said if you can't afford to have one parent stay home then you shouldn't have children...that's why i brought up affording it.  I don't think there's anything wrong with sending a child to daycare bc it's an opportunity to learn and socialize early.  I agree w Kotton Kandy though, i'm staying home the first 3 years if i'm not single.


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:20pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think you need to be a helicopter parent to be a good one.

If that's the case parents who send their children to school are bad parents too.
Lord knows the things that can happen there.

well, there you goLOL


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:21pm
i'm not having kids of my own but i'd really like to adopt. i've done tons of research and was really close to setting up an appointment to speak with an agency but i just can't afford it and don't have the time to dedicate to raising a child right now. 

anyway, this is my personal philosophy (not having kids if i need daycare) but it's none of my business what other people do. 



Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:22pm
my mom raised my sister's kids. They were lucky. Wish i had that, but people do pass from this life, unfortunately. Forestfire and I have to work to pay those things called bills, so, daycare it is. She is well adjusted and happy. I'm good with that.

You don't need to be with a child 24 hours per day to properly raise/care for them.

Would it be better to stay at home if it were possible? Of course. Should people who are perfectly capable of taking care of their children not have any because they cant stay home?
Nope.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:23pm
Women that think like that end up real salty when they divorce


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:23pm
Damn WF called her man Forest fire!!!


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:25pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Damn WF called her man Forest fire!!!

I have Diane to thank for thatLOLLOL


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:26pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Damn WF called her man Forest fire!!!


I think that's cute. She calls the baby campfire I think.

wildfire + forest fire = camp fire

Or something. It's cute in my mind.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:27pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Damn WF called her man Forest fire!!!


I think that's cute. She calls the baby campfire I think.

wildfire + forest fire = camp fire

Or something. It's cute in my mind.


Me too.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:28pm
I would have agreed with her if she said, "if you can't afford daycare, you shouldn't have children."

Otherwise...no...just no...


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:28pm
Diane says if there's a baby boy he would be called bush fire. LMAO


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:29pm
My children didn't go to daycare but I disagree. Everything isn't for everybody.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:30pm
I don't understand people having kids but not spending time with them.

I don't mean when you send your kid to daycare a couple times a week for 2-4 hours.

I'm talking about, the baby has been in daycare since they were 6 weeks old for 6-10 hours a day. When most or all of your child's waking hours are spent with other people, that's sad and they deserve better.


Posted By: LilMissSunshine
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:31pm
I agree with Jones and Sandra. What about schoolage kids? Does she think you are a bad parent if you don't homeschool? Sandra, usually those ones get the short end of the stick when they divorce.

I had the option to be a stay at home mom...sometimes I regret my decision to go back to work, but I usually don't because I like having my own money, my own bank account, and my own car. Plus I went to college, and I have sh*t ton of student loans to payback...two incomes are better than one when it comes to bills. Plus my baby stays with a sitter, who happens to be a relative.


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:31pm
LMS really? I talk about them a lot.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:31pm
so if you have a nanny, then what?

on welfare and at home, then what? 

Our culture has children at school the majority of the day so daycare isn't far fetched or a measure of the quality of parenthood 




Posted By: LilMissSunshine
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:32pm
Originally posted by AshBash89 AshBash89 wrote:

My children didn't go to daycare but I disagree. Everything isn't for everybody.
You have children??? I had no idea.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:34pm
i agree with maysay about placing newborns in daycare. that is so weird to me but this is a touchy subject so i'll tread lightly.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:34pm
Everyone is not fit to homeschool....


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:36pm

I "get" it, and certainly would't consider that stance negative....if it weren't clouded by a condescending attitude. 


I can dig it for others. But feel it would be complete overkill in my life. 



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:36pm
my sisters childcare provider was soooooo old.  she died when my sister was only 7.  side eye my mom for that.  that house was packed with children.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:36pm
to clarify, i find it weird for married women who have children on purpose to place their babies in daycare. not so much for women who are newly divorced (for example) and need to work to keep a roof over their family's head. 

eta: still none of my business what other people do


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:38pm
0-5 are extremely important years and I don't think the majority of that time should be spent with people who aren't the parents.

School age is different, even though I wouldn't send my kids to school with any of these heathens. Even still, there's a difference between being at school from 8-2:30 and being there for before school care as early as 6am all the way till afterschool care ends at 6 or 6:30.


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:38pm
Some people shouldn't talk.  

I bet she also thinks if you can't pay cash for college you don't deserve to be there. 

And if have to take out a loan to buy a home, you shouldn't have one.

And if you don't have life insurance, you have no right to die.

She needs to go have a seat in the new black section with her rare steak and kale.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:41pm
Nah she's white he husband is a major horse breeder.
He has had horses in the Kentucky Derby and the others.




Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:41pm
I'll stick with  collards and mustard greens.Smile




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:44pm
well there are countries that have 1yr maternity/paternity leave policies 

Not the reality in America so....


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:45pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

to clarify, i find it weird for married women who have children on purpose to place their babies in daycare. not so much for women who are newly divorced (for example) and need to work to keep a roof over their family's head. 

eta: still none of my business what other people do

Married.  Had kids on purpose.  Worked from home for years, was laid off and placed them in daycare while I retrained and then while I worked.  My children eat every day and that costs money.  Money comes from work.  

Not knocking you personally noneyons but this board confuses the hell out of me sometimes.  Feminists one day.  Want wives pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen the next.  Want financial independence one day.  Want a rich husband and to stay home the next.  That lady shouldn't have left her baby at the salon but Beyonce needs to come Blue's hair....

Anyhow, I do what works for us.  As long as my kids are healthy and happy, rounded and able to try things they are interested in I'm good.  The minute their physical, mental or emotional health is in question, my job, friends and yes if it came down to it even my husband could kiss my ass.  Being a mom first doesn't mean spending the majority of your time in your kids' face.  It means your priorities are weighted.


Posted By: LilMissSunshine
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:46pm
LOL...kale and rare steak . Her comment is kind of sexist...why can't the man stay home?


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:48pm
Women know your place, in the home raising kids and washing dishes.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:54pm
good point, missunshine. 

but we're veering off subject talking about women staying in their place. i respect yall's opinion but the OP is not about women quitting their jobs to stay home to raise their kids. its about women/men choosing to have kids before they're financially equipped to take an extended leave from work to focus on child rearing


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:56pm
Extended leave??
No she's one of the types to think if you're working you failed in choosing a man .

It works for her


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:56pm
Maybe she doesn't want to take an extended leave from work. Years of leave until the kid is able to attend school. Maybe her career is actually important to her.


Posted By: TOUSHA11
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:59pm
Everybody can not have the picture perfect life shyt happens. Let's say you get married and then you and your husband get divorced then what. You should stay at home and not have any money but at least you spending time with your kids. You should be homeless because you staying home taking care of your kids. People be saying dumb ass stuff good for her that her husband make enough money and she can stay home. What will happen if he lose his job or something and she have to get out there and make money. Women been working and taking care of kids for ages and it will never change. Just because you spend X amount of hours with your kid or kids does not make you a better parent then the next person.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 7:59pm
I really don't understand having a baby with the intention of not spending time with them.

Whether you send them to daycare or have a nanny or whatever. Why have a child to purposely have others care for them? I just don't get it. It feels to me that people are clearly not having a child with the child being their most important priority.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:00pm
I wish more jobs had on site daycare to support parents (single or married) who continue working during the child rearing years.


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:00pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I really don't understand having a baby with the intention of not spending time with them.

Whether you send them to daycare or have a nanny or whatever. Why have a child to purposely have others care for them? I just don't get it. It feels to me that people are clearly not having a child with the child being their most important priority.


I'm not sure how having them in a daycare means not spending time with them.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:00pm
I disagree.  I think good daycare serves a great purpose.

I have heard something like this before.

what does she mean by need?


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:03pm
If maysay was talking about boarding school and not daycare id agree.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:03pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I wish more jobs had on site daycare to support parents (single or married) who continue working during the child rearing years.


I wouldn't get any work done....I'd be there stalking my baby.....making her do silly stuff like make animal noises and kissy facesEmbarrassedLOL.....and telling every one she's a genius cause she did some trivial shytLOL


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:04pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I really don't understand having a baby with the intention of not spending time with them.

Whether you send them to daycare or have a nanny or whatever. Why have a child to purposely have others care for them? I just don't get it. It feels to me that people are clearly not having a child with the child being their most important priority.


I'm not sure how having them in a daycare means not spending time with them.


There are many people who send their kids to daycare for up to 12 hours a day. Or send the to before school care/school/after school care.

So their child spends the majority of the time they are awake with the daycare provider or teacher instead of their own parents.

At our summer camp I had parents show up at 6:45am when I would open up (we started at 7) and I didn't see them again until 7pm. That is just not right.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:04pm
back in the day folks had kids to help till the land and ish like thatLOL

nowadays people have kids for other reasons. fulfillment, status quo, i don't know. having kids without being mentally and financially prepared is just not for me. i don't knock anyone else's choices. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:05pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

i agree with maysay about placing newborns in daycare. that is so weird to me but this is a touchy subject so i'll tread lightly.


yeah we had a spirited discussion about this w/ my nephew  (me, the mom, & my sis)


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:06pm
once the child is here, folks gotta do what they gotta do though.


Posted By: mzsophisticated
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:06pm
dont agree, so if i can't afford to stay at home full time then i should not have kidsStern Smile....but can't you say the same thing about sending them to.school since they are there the same amount of time. I had my daughter in home daycare as an infant and then a facility once she turned 3. People always find some way to make their way of living seem more superior.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:07pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

 
I don't think that's in the context of what she means.

You can afford daycare but can't afford to be a stay at home mom or you don't want to..

She is anti working mother bc she feels it hurts the children


ok that's what she meant by 'need.'
Yes, I've heard exactly that before many times from women.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:07pm
My nephew went to day when he was a baby.....but my sister was newly divorced and had to go back to work because her exhubby is a bish and the spousal support wasn't enough.....he was way more advanced then any kid I'd ever seen tho....


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:08pm
Do yall feel the same about mothers not breastfeeding as long as possible?

I'm a big proponent of breastfeeding and cloth diapers (I'm trying to convince my sister about cloth diapering)

Cloth is just so cute


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:08pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I wish more jobs had on site daycare to support parents (single or married) who continue working during the child rearing years.


I wouldn't get any work done....I'd be there stalking my baby.....making her do silly stuff like make animal noises and kissy facesEmbarrassedLOL.....and telling every one she's a genius cause she did some trivial shytLOL
"Look Look! She picked up the block and dropped it. Mah baby is a genius!"LOL


Posted By: SimplyPut
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:09pm
Having your child in daycare can be a huge advantage. Most children I know who didn't go to daycare before school age and are only children tend to be socially awkward, have slower motor skills, and are very needed. They just don't tend to be independently functioning children in simple matters.

What if the mother works while the child is sleeping? Is she still neglecting her child and its dreams?


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:11pm
Jones, I think cloth diaper babies are so cute cuz their bums look all out of proportion to the rest of their body.




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:13pm
I like the targeted learning of daycare a head start at school

It breaks the heart of most moms to leave an infant at daycare


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:13pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Do yall feel the same about mother's not breastfeeding as along as possible?

I'm a big proponent of breastfeeding and cloth diapers (I'm trying to convince my sister about cloth diapering,)

Cloth is just so cute

are there truly any long term benefits of breastfeeding?  because for everytime they say things like disease, childhood obesity, etc etc i can point to a breastfed baby with problems.

my issue with breastfeeding are people, especially women, that are uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding in public.  so weird.




Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:15pm
Jones maybe if you get her one of the hoses that attaches to the toilet and help buy her first set of liners/covers, she'll want to do it.

Most people balk at the expense and the mess.




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:15pm
women who are seen as doing it 'by choice' really seem to get a lot of flack.
 


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:16pm
Slightly off topic but I think it's funny how my young friends speak in extremes but to my elderly patients everything is so simple.  We're always freaking out over something while our elders are always telling us to relax because everything will work out.  

Maybe everything is going to be okay regardless.  Some people try to wait "until they can afford kids."  That one always makes me laugh.  You simply redistribute your money according to priority.  There's no magic number.  They always have one, "It costs ______ amount of money to raise a child for 18 years in 2014."  Rarely to people have that on hand yet daily people are celebrating their 18th birthday.....


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:17pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:


are there truly any long term benefits of breastfeeding?  because for everytime they say things like disease, childhood obesity, etc etc i can point to a breastfed baby with problems.

my issue with breastfeeding are people, especially women, that are uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding in public.  so weird.




a recent study said no.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:19pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Jones maybe if you get her one of the hoses that attaches to the toilet and help buy her first set of liners/covers, she'll want to do it.

Most people balk at the expense and the mess.




I did.
Oh just saw the hose.
I will if she's really really game
I follow all the mama cloth diapering blogs.

What ppl don't know or pay attention to your suppose to dump the waste out of disposables too not just cloth.


Her contention is the hand washing I want her to do. Bc machine washing messes up the cloth.

She tells me to have my own kids and live a good farm life.

She's open to it just not to the extremes I want her to take lol. I already bought some cute ones


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:20pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I wish more jobs had on site daycare to support parents (single or married) who continue working during the child rearing years.


I wouldn't get any work done....I'd be there stalking my baby.....making her do silly stuff like make animal noises and kissy facesEmbarrassedLOL.....and telling every one she's a genius cause she did some trivial shytLOL
"Look Look! She picked up the block and dropped it. Mah baby is a genius!"LOL

Right lmaoLOL


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:20pm
I breastfed for 13 months, 16 months and 4 months.  I can't tell any differences but it was the sweetest time in the world.  I stopped early with my last because I had to go back to work Pinch


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:22pm
My only issue with the "it'll all work out" theory of parenting is that in this day and age that means "it'll all work out" because everyone else will provide my child's food, clothes, shelter, medical care, and education.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:22pm
I believe in breastfeeding for one year....but breastfeeding a toddler is unnecessary to me....but it in a zippy cup......cloth diapers are a hell no....even though regular ones are so wasteful....I just can't.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:24pm

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Jones maybe if you get her one of the hoses that attaches to the toilet and help buy her first set of liners/covers, she'll want to do it.

Most people balk at the expense and the mess.




I did.
Oh just saw the hose.
I will if she's really really game
I follow all the mama cloth diapering blogs.

What ppl don't know or pay attention to your suppose to dump the waste out of disposables too not just cloth.


Her contention is the hand washing I want her to do. Bc machine washing messes up the cloth.

She tells me to have my own kids and live a good farm life.

She's open to it just not to the extremes I want her to take lol. I already bought some cute ones


LOL

Well you can join my sister on her farm because that's what she plans to do. Talking about she's gonna have bike powered electricity so she can get the internet but she will be hand washing and line drying everything.



Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:31pm
I know so many baby geniuses lol. Mine are the only real ones of course.


Posted By: ragincajin
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:33pm
To women like the one in the article, two words: Good luck. 

It's a given that parents should support their children financially, emotionally and spiritually. Don't think a single soul would argue the point.

But to suggest that the only proper way to support children is for the mother to be a stay at home mom is baloney. 

Now here's where the luck comes in:  

I've seen what your husbands do when they tire of you and your over pampered, spoiled children.

That 20 year old secretary with a closet full of tight skirts and brand new 38D ta-tas, is one skillful bit*h on her knees. Believe it. Blow-jobs win over botox everytime my dear.  If walls in the executive restroom could talk, it'd be X rated.

Say 'goodbye' to your club memberships, household help, jets and cars and plastic surgery nip/tucks. And say 'hello' to your new full time job- finding a new wallet to support you.

Oh yes...you'll be working outside the home then. You'll work very hard indeed.



Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:33pm
daycare is needed for most children because it teaches them the basics that they need to know before starting school.
A lot of funding for daycare has been cut working mothers need child care.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:33pm
if she were wealthy she'd have a nanny or an au pair

She's being unnecessarily pretentious 


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:35pm
think i'ma shake things up a bit and place myself in the hot seat. 
*dodges tomatoes*

do yall agree with this?

top 10 reasons why people have children.

1. To have someone who would take care of them when they get old. 

2. To carry on family name. 

3. Because they love babies. 

4. It's human nature. 

5. Pregnancy and childbirth are life experiences. 

6. To let their children (who don't exist yet) experience the joy of existence.

7. To give parents grandchildren.

8. To embody love for each other. 

9. They want children of their own, with their own bloodline. 

10. They don't know.






Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:37pm
.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:39pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

if she were wealthy she'd have a nanny or an au pair

She's being unnecessarily pretentious 


I don't know Ricky.

I don't know what level of wealth we're talking but she enjoys rearing her children and thinks she should be the one to do it.

They are comfortable millionaires .
She could afford a nanny if need be I suppose .

I know of her bc the FA I work with has some of their investment dollars under management



She volunteers in Uganda too .
I think she is really into child rearing and development


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:39pm
11.  to keep a man


just saying what i've seen.


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:41pm
12. couldn't afford an abortion..


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:43pm
12.  Because oops


Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:44pm
If all children were planned, I'd agree but that's not realistic.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:45pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I wish more jobs had on site daycare to support parents (single or married) who continue working during the child rearing years.


I wouldn't get any work done....I'd be there stalking my baby.....making her do silly stuff like make animal noises and kissy facesEmbarrassedLOL.....and telling every one she's a genius cause she did some trivial shytLOL
"Look Look! She picked up the block and dropped it. Mah baby is a genius!"LOL




the hospital i work at has a daycare facility....i was so engrossed in my work i had actually forgot to pick her up...lawd  my mom had to come to the hospital and pick up my daughter while a volunteer entertained her by reading to her out in the lobby...but those onsite daycares are fantastic...also cause it was coming straight out of my paycheck which was great also...so it is already being taxed


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 8:53pm
Hmm. As a male, i think these 4 are closest reasons for me. Sort of a mixture I suppose.

Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:


2. To carry on family name.

I don't really care about my family name but I do want a child to carry on my legacy, even more now that I don't believe in an after life.

4. It's human nature.

I've imagined being a father since I was a kid myself, often contrasting what my father did with what I planned to do when I became a father. I'm not sure if that's exactly human nature but the instinctive feeling of wanting to be a father has been around since I can remember.

6. To let their children (who don't exist yet) experience the joy of existence.


I do think about all of the things I want to share with my kids, the fun of the hobbies I enjoy, the beauty of the places I like to visit, the taste of the foods I like to cook. It's def a romanticized view of life but I admit it is a driving force.

9. They want children of their own, with their own bloodline. 

I've thought about adopting (mostly because the two women I've seriously dated have had fertility issues) but I admit that it would be somewhat disappointing since I really want children with my blood, my genes, my features. 




I'm not sure if any of these are particularly good reasons. And reading them on paper, maybe some of it is shallow, but that's how I feel I guess. The driving force to be a better parent than my father was is especially strong, and I'm not sure why. I also want to learn from my kids, which may be weird too.









Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:02pm
I always wanted to be a parent, cause I'm awesome and think the world needs more like me. .lol
Having biological children was never a must have for me. I'd still like to adopt one day.


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:06pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


daycare is expensive anyway

well good ones........

many stay home because they cannot afford to send their kids to one

girl I know had twins and daycare would have been $3500 each month for them, a family member watches her kids


This is actually what I see most, women who stay home because almost their entire paycheck would go to daycare anyway so there's no point.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

think i'ma shake things up a bit and place myself in the hot seat. 
*dodges tomatoes*

do yall agree with this?

top 10 reasons why people have children.

1. To have someone who would take care of them when they get old. 

2. To carry on family name. 

3. Because they love babies. 

4. It's human nature. 

5. Pregnancy and childbirth are life experiences. 

6. To let their children (who don't exist yet) experience the joy of existence.

7. To give parents grandchildren.

8. To embody love for each other. 

9. They want children of their own, with their own bloodline. 

10. They don't know.






Most of these reasons are just dumb. But 1, 2, 6, 7, and 9 just disgust me.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:10pm
i can rationalize why someone might feel disgust for some of these but what's disgusting about number 2 or 6...2 can happen with adoption as well.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:11pm
thanks for your responses  and honesty rt and melikey. 

i've spent quite a bit of time analyzing the pros and cons of MY having children but i can't think of one good reason that doesn't feel like some kind of search for existential fulfillment which to ME seems to be in vain so why bother.




Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:11pm
I remember driving past a mediocre day care center in town. The sign boasted a special: $350 a week for daycare.

$350 week
4 weeks in a month
$1,400 month
$16,800 year

My face after I did the mental math: jawdrop


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:12pm
Just throwing this out there if anyone is curious.  In 2011 while I was in school, my daycare bill was $1,100/mo for one full-time and one before school.  Yes, I could have found some child herding center for cheaper, but this place was fabulous, loved my children and my youngest had preschool built into his day.  

Most people I know don't even look for a daycare until they're pregnant.


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:13pm
It's the middle class that suffers. Lower class qualifies for caps and upper class can afford it.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:15pm
i don't know how moms do it, seriously.  that's a 2nd mortgage.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jun 04 2014 at 9:15pm
I want kids in about 7 years for lots of reasons..
I don't think you have to have a specific reason.

Love them and care for them and teach them.

I think I'd bear good fruit and I love kids but I'd only have kids with my SO.
Wouldn't be the same if they weren't with him



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