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Tips on getting along with your mother

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Printed Date: Dec 15 2018 at 12:19pm


Topic: Tips on getting along with your mother
Posted By: naturesgift
Subject: Tips on getting along with your mother
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:01pm
OH man,in theory I LOVE my mother she has been a great one but we seem to bicker a lot She is visiting me for a few weeks and its like fireworks! I am not sure what to do I am kinda stressed!



Replies:
Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:40pm
Im at the age where I can decide when I wanna be bothered.....she pisses me off....I just military silence her ass....then she takes me shopping and we are good....it works for us....


*waits for Amazon order to come in the mail*


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:49pm
make sure I have her cup of tea ready before she asks for it.


Posted By: Fcgriffin
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:55pm
I wish I had some insight.  I haven't talked to my mama in about 4 years and she lives in town.  She wears me out emotionally


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:58pm
Being at odds with Mothers is normal.

We need to exert ourselves as adults who are capable of making decisions.

They however, still see us as kids that need their guidance.

I have to keep reminding mines that I see her 1-2 X/year, and I do just find.    Why does she think whenever she is around I somehow become incapable

I stand my ground trying not to lose it.

There sometimes come a time when I go there, if pushed to my limit.

She controls her home. I control mine


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:58pm
my grandmother and I had some psychological warfare going on, partly because of role reversal and her situation

Sometimes we just have to deal with relationships as they are and accept the limits, instead of focusing on how they "should" be or how we expect them to be

Easy to say, hard to do


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:01pm
I mean for long standing relationships that you can't replace like parents, siblings

The habits/patterns have been there for decades and all sides need to change in tandem... not always easy to do or even possible 



Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:11pm
I live far away from my parents they are always so loving and supportive over the phone but now they are here for a few weeks its just a lot, I feel like they are like OLD CHILDREN... sometimes like demanding and never satisfied, I try and then for 5 moments they seem happy until the next mini tantrum! maybe its me too, I just want to be better! you know?


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:21pm
Me and my mom are backwards. We did not get along well until I was in my late 20's. Now thats my bew for life. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:30pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Me and my mom are backwards. We did not get along well until I was in my late 20's. Now thats my bew for life. 


I thought this was normal


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Me and my mom are backwards. We did not get along well until I was in my late 20's. Now thats my bew for life. 


I thought this was normal


I thought that most women where close to their mom as a little girl. Then once they hit late teens and up they start butting heads. Maybe we are normal then. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:54pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

 


I thought that most women where close to their mom as a little girl. Then once they hit late teens and up they start butting heads. Maybe we are normal then. 


speak for yourself, I know I'm not LOL

but we do have that in common.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:55pm
it must come and go though lol. I think you are right about being close as a child, then in teen years there's a separation. Then @25 you are close again.
I hear people say 'I wasn't close to my mom til I moved out' So I thought it was normal for that closeness to happen after adulthood.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:03pm
LOL yeah I think my mother couldn't stand me as a child. I have always been fiesty and bold and she is mild mannered and quiet. She recently told me that she admired how strong I am though. I never thought that we would be close. But it is an answered prayer. So I'm happy.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:09pm
me and mom were close then, but we're closer now. We've never had any arguments or anything like that. But we can have different types of discussions now. Also, she's mellowed a LOT.

Just recently I asked her if she wanted me to take her to church while I was there visiting, and she said no she'd rather stay home and spend the time with me. She said she didn't mind missing church some sundays.. Said 'you don't have to go every Sunday.' And I said: 'I sure wish  you'd felt that way when I was a growing up.' We laughed.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:15pm
Just recently I asked her if she wanted me to take her to church while I was there visiting, and she said no she'd rather stay home and spend the time with me


Heart

That is so sweet



Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:18pm
yeah it was because she knew I would be dropping her off & and coming back to pick her up lol. Not like I'd be going w/ her.

j/k--it was sweet. I love that woman.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:32pm
Me and my mon argue when we are face to face but it's just the way it is. I love that lady we talk everyday and she never minds her own business but she is who her is lol.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:33pm
My parents never saw me as a adult lol . Nature treasure your mom and place some ear plugs when she comes for you . My mom knew no matter what i would respect her and dad ,but at the same time i was going to go out and party for 2 days of my visit  . I should have listen to my parents advice on many issues . I left home before the age of 18 and never came back .
 
I regret missing out on so much time with my parents due to my lifestyle at the time and location thousands of miles away all of my life . Let her be mom while you have her . I use to take a walk or go in the basement when my parents got on my nerves lol . Imagine your father listening to to your phone converstions at the age of 40 without your knowledge .Cry


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:51pm
idk what advice to give. i just love having my mom around so i put up with whatever comes with it. my mom is cool at times but lord jesus the lady gets on my nerves at times, and she talks and yells nonstop but i don't know what i would do without her. i just learn to bite my tongue and apologize when i am in the wrong. 




Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:55pm
Yep, it's mom just take deep breaths, smile and call a friend. Don't forget to cater to her after she cooks your favorite meal.


Posted By: keelolo1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:19pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Me and my mom are backwards. We did not get along well until I was in my late 20's. Now thats my bew for life. 

Same here. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:20pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

idk what advice to give. i just love having my mom around so i put up with whatever comes with it. my mom is cool at times but lord jesus the lady gets on my nerves at times, and she talks and yells nonstop but i don't know what i would do without her. i just learn to bite my tongue and apologize when i am in the wrong. 




this.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:21pm
we get along very well.....we live in different continents and see each other once a year Approve


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:06pm
Not being rude, but she lived her life, how can I live mine if she continually want me to do things her way.

To be honest, she did not do a very good job living hers.

How I can I take advice about life from someone who failed at theirs.

I believe in leading by example.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:21pm
Originally posted by Benni Benni wrote:

Not being rude, but she lived her life, how can I live mine if she continually want me to do things her way.

To be honest, she did not do a very good job living hers.

How I can I take advice about life from someone who failed at theirs.

I believe in leading by example.
I understand what you are saying but maybe her circumstance or state of mind was very different at your age Benni . I promise you no matter what it hurts like hell to loose your mother . I also understand children that went through abuse and refuse to have anything to do with parents . Pray on it . Not trying to preach or play a holy role perfect mother .Hug


Posted By: spencer4hire
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:34pm
I'm just so thankful that my son and I have always
had a really good relationship ( he's 24 ). We don't agree on
everything but we respect each other's opinion and we talk
about any issues that might arise .

Open communication is a good place to start. Most
parents truly want what's best for their kids.

I still struggle with the fact that he is no longer a little boy lol
He reminds me on occasion to allow him to make his own
decisions .


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

I am not sure what to do I am kinda stressed!


1. Smile and shut up.

2. Just listen to her talk and nod & smile.

3. Pay close attention to how your dad responds when she begins to nags and learn to mimic his time tested technique without adding any variances.

4. Distract her when she gets negative by telling her some random gossipy story about cheating spouses, illegitimate babies, her favorite tv personality or whatever topics you have heard her talk about for hours on the phone with her friends/family.

5. Smile and shut up some more and give her the puppy dog eyes Embarrassed if she doesnt stop whatever she is fussing about.

6. Hide all new purchases & store receipts b4 she visits or she will pick a fight over you spending too much money. Her natural maternal instincts push her to search for something to boss you and nag you about, so just clear out some of the things that will trigger her.

7. Keep in mind that she loves you unconditionally and is the one that will love you on your worse day and have that in mind when it becomes difficult to smile and shut upLOL

I love my momma, but it is a fact that some women over menopause develop a naggy personality that gets worse with age so I just have to work around that by constantly distracting her by changing the subject.




Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:43pm
Be nice and ignore her when she makes you mad.


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:51pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

I am not sure what to do I am kinda stressed!


1. Smile and shut up.

2. Just listen to her talk and nod & smile.

3. Pay close attention to how your dad responds when she begins to nags and learn to mimic his time tested technique without adding any variances.

4. Distract her when she gets negative by telling her some random gossipy story about cheating spouses, illegitimate babies, her favorite tv personality or whatever topics you have heard her talk about for hours on the phone with her friends/family.

5. Smile and shut up some more and give her the puppy dog eyes Embarrassed if she doesnt stop whatever she is fussing about.

6. Hide all new purchases & store receipts b4 she visits or she will pick a fight over you spending too much money. Her natural maternal instincts push her to search for something to boss you and nag you about, so just clear out some of the things that will trigger her.

7. Keep in mind that she loves you unconditionally and is the one that will love you on your worse day and have that in mind when it becomes difficult to smile and shut upLOL

I love my momma, but it is a fact that some women over menopause develop a naggy personality that gets worse with age so I just have to work around that by constantly distracting her by changing the subject.



Heart all of this

I realized my biggest issue with my mama was that she ran her home a certain way and was very particular about it......well so am I and it's not her way.  So she'll come over and start "fixing" things until there's visible steam coming out of my ears.

Then, in July 2012, I almost lost her.  Her mother and sister died from sudden cardiac death young.  She had already outlived both of them but you know she tried it.  She ended up in critical care and when she was strong enough got a pacemaker/defibrillator.  I remember staring at her just wanting her to nag me about anything.  I was playing music, this one song called Glorify Your Name.  She started to intermittently sing along.  She was still very out of it and hadn't yet open her eyes but was singing Glorify Your Name.  I never cried so hard for my mama before or since.

Now, I just smile to myself because I would much rather have her driving me crazy than not have her at all.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by spencer4hire spencer4hire wrote:

I'm just so thankful that my son and I have always
had a really good relationship ( he's 24 ). We don't agree on
everything but we respect each other's opinion and we talk
about any issues that might arise .

Open communication is a good place to start. Most
parents truly want what's best for their kids.

I still struggle with the fact that he is no longer a little boy lol
He reminds me on occasion to allow him to make his own
decisions .


Posted By: aNgElIc*SoUl
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 8:21pm
I don't know, I had to cut that bytch off.


Posted By: kerysdream7
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 8:27pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

I am not sure what to do I am kinda stressed!


7. Keep in mind that she loves you unconditionally and is the one that will love you on your worse day and have that in mind when it becomes difficult to smile and shut upLOL

This all day! Ain't NOTHIN' like a Mother's love.


Posted By: Ladycoils
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 10:45pm
I got nothing for you. I just went home to visit and my mother got on nerves I couldn't wait to get on the plane. Patience and stand your ground with respect. Most parents haven't adapted to the fact that we are adults and they should treat us as adults.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 11:32pm
I don't even talk to mine anymore

It's better that way, in my case. Peaceful.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 11:55pm
Originally posted by spencer4hire spencer4hire wrote:

I'm just so thankful that my son and I have always
had a really good relationship ( he's 24 ). We don't agree on
everything but we respect each other's opinion and we talk
about any issues that might arise .

Open communication is a good place to start. Most
parents truly want what's best for their kids.

I still struggle with the fact that he is no longer a little boy lol
He reminds me on occasion to allow him to make his own
decisions .

Me and my 13 yr old son are really close like that too. I hope we stay that way. We talk openly about everything. I am not ready to let him be an adult in 5 years but I know I have to let go.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 12:18am
That's so special, Petite and Spencer.


Posted By: 2cute
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 9:57am
Seems like since this year started, my relationship with my mom has started to deteriorate. Her nagging and negative mentality are driving me insane. Her old school ways and me always choosing to stand my ground and voicing my opinion resulted in her putting her hands on me and me fighting back. We never fought before­čśĽ


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 11:16am
Does hormone replacement therapy prevent this nagging/negative behavior? I know that all women dont get like this, even without hormone replacement therapy, but Im just curious.

I recently started some research on the 'nagging mother' anxiety disorder, but I know that when my mom used to take the estrogen around menopause and for years after, she was not nagging/negative like this.



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