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Young man says, no marriage no kids

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
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URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=371087
Printed Date: Apr 21 2018 at 9:37am


Topic: Young man says, no marriage no kids
Posted By: sbrownie84
Subject: Young man says, no marriage no kids
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:32pm
Do they mean it? Do they change their mindss if they meet 'the one'



Replies:
Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:39pm
honey save your heart and time and move on


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:39pm
What maya told y'all
Op never comes back to her threads neway


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:45pm
Nah I'm here. Lol

It was a debate between a classmate and I. I believe that when a man says they mean it and do not want any type of responsibility.

She believes they are young and will change their minds.


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:49pm
I know enough of 40+ men with no kids to know that some of them aren't lying.
Same for women.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:58pm
people say a lot of things.  they mean it until they dont mean it anymore.


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: May 29 2014 at 10:59pm
I see nothing wrong with this, there's too many young men reckless with their fertlity to have a problem with a responsible one...


Posted By: Immie89
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 12:40am
If they meet the one than they should just get married and have kids... problem solved


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 12:46am
Lol

If he hasn't had a vasectomy there's still a chance he might have kids


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 12:59am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Lol

If he hasn't had a vasectomy there's still a chance he might have kids

shot out to all those women that afrok has strung along on a thread of hope that they may, somehow, by chance get chosen tho he isnt settling down for marriage & kids til he turns 45Approve


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:10am
I would hope they mean it.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:59am
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Lol

If he hasn't had a vasectomy there's still a chance he might have kids

shot out to all those women that afrok has strung along on a thread of hope that they may, somehow, by chance get chosen tho he isnt settling down for marriage & kids til he turns 45Approve
loooooool.

How you gonn do me like that



Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:17am
When people show tell you who they are, believe them. 


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:37am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

Do they mean it? Do they change their mindss if they meet 'the one'




yes.  no.

the "right one" would have the same mindset as they do in regards to kids and marriage.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:52am
Some people don't want that lifestyle and the fact that a person with active reproduction the possibility is still there. So you don't know until you get rid of it and society says not your 30


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 7:50am
he black ? he waiting for the right white woman


Posted By: hauteshellbi
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 7:52am
I wonder if stacks ever got his vasectomy


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 8:40am
those ones become the 45 yo with erectile dysfunction who still goes clubbing with ppl half his age and looks for booty on backpage


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 9:34am
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

those ones become the 45 yo with erectile dysfunction who still goes clubbing with ppl half his age and looks for booty on backpage

LOL



Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 9:58am
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

those ones become the 45 yo with erectile dysfunction who still goes clubbing with ppl half his age and looks for booty on backpage


Except erectile dysfunction what's wrong with that?


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 11:28am
They change their mind when they meet the one.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 12:18pm
Why do the rules change for blokes?


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 12:24pm
Specify Afro


Posted By: Ladycoils
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:00pm
I wouldn't wait around to see if he changed his mind. No guarantee you could be the "one".


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:03pm
My brother said it early on (since adolescence) and meant it. He's 50 now. And no, he's not gay.


Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:19pm
I went to college with A LOT I Mean A LOT of young men who swore up and down they weren't marrying or settling down... Then it got cold outside and all of sudden that lifelong bachelor sh!t sounded like some bull sh!t. How many of them are married and some even on their second marriage? Plenty! I find more older men, after they've done it once or twice and mucked up a few women's lives, go through a phase where they want to be unattached... then their bald headed, pension/social security/retirement drawing, bad leg/knee/back , sleepy dicc, having ass comes back to his reality too.

Its lonely out here, and the greater majority of people really do not want to be alone; its just life lessons (either learned or observed) sometimes forces you to air on the side of caution when making those types of decisions.

ETA: There are exceptions, but they are probably in the minority.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:22pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Why do the rules change for blokes?


because blokes want what 'lasses' tell them they want LOL

(I had to google for the female version of blokes; only to learn that they're called BIRDS from beatles song). Who knew?LOLLOL


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 1:24pm
Afro, I'm just playing. I don't even know what your post meant lol


Posted By: aNgElIc*SoUl
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:14pm
Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

I went to college with A LOT I Mean A LOT of young men who swore up and down they weren't marrying or settling down... Then it got cold outside and all of sudden that lifelong bachelor sh!t sounded like some bull sh!t. How many of them are married and some even on their second marriage? Plenty! I find more older men, after they've done it once or twice and mucked up a few women's lives, go through a phase where they want to be unattached... then their bald headed, pension/social security/retirement drawing, bad leg/knee/back , sleepy dicc, having ass comes back to his reality too.

Its lonely out here, and the greater majority of people really do not want to be alone; its just life lessons (either learned or observed) sometimes forces you to air on the side of caution when making those types of decisions.

ETA: There are exceptions, but they are probably in the minority.


All of this. I have had so many older men who felt this way when they were younger tell me that the bachelor and or player lifestyle gets or got boring after a while. I agree, there are exceptions.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:17pm
 
Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

I went to college with A LOT I Mean A LOT of young men who swore up and down they weren't marrying or settling down... Then it got cold outside and all of sudden that lifelong bachelor sh!t sounded like some bull sh!t. How many of them are married and some even on their second marriage? Plenty! I find more older men, after they've done it once or twice and mucked up a few women's lives, go through a phase where they want to be unattached... then their bald headed, pension/social security/retirement drawing, bad leg/knee/back , sleepy dicc, having ass comes back to his reality too.

Its lonely out here, and the greater majority of people really do not want to be alone; its just life lessons (either learned or observed) sometimes forces you to air on the side of caution when making those types of decisions.

ETA: There are exceptions, but they are probably in the minority.


dead at bolded.

I never understood why men don't want to marry. Men win in marriage. Now, women who are reluctant I understand.

 


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:24pm
Men win in marriage?


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 2:43pm
When I become elderly I might just buy a woman with my SS checks and adopt a loyal pup to accompany me on fishing trips as I tour the country in my camper.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:00pm
I'll go to rural Europe and find a white village girl looking for a come up


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:02pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Afro, I'm just playing. I don't even know what your post meant lol
that when the bhm ladies state they no want kids or marriage, believe them

But if its a man stating so.. that nicca lying


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:11pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Afro, I'm just playing. I don't even know what your post meant lol
that when the bum ladies state they no want kids or marriage, believe tjem

But if its a man stating so.. that nicca lying


oh ok.
in that case, my post stands LOL


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:18pm
Lol

Personally I only believe that sh*t on a person's deathbed..

Life is too unpredictable to speak on such absolutes..

Unless tubes have being tied and ducts snipped


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:22pm
lol @ CB


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:33pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

They change their mind when they meet the one.





Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:37pm
There are lots of people (men and women) who know for sure they don't want to be parents or be married. Some people are astute enough to know their own limits and what isn't going to work for them.

This concept of meeting "the one" and changing your mind...for those who know what they want "the one" can only be someone who wants the same things.

But I get that it's hard for most people to conceptualize that an adult would want something so different from the "norm" so it's easier to be patronizing or insulting about it.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:52pm
yeah  We still get the 'you'll change your mind' thing about kids.

matter fact my sis told me last week that my BIL thinks I'm pregnant now because he was here on a day that I had some things delivered. I asked her 'since hub's had a vasectomy, does he think I'm cheating on my husband too?' LOL


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 3:57pm
That's funny purp...I've heard of women getting that even when they're past menopause. The worst I think is when people tell a 40 something woman that she should still have a child...I can't understand encouraging someone to have a child that has a much higher likelihood of all sorts of birth defects and health problems. It's so irrational.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 4:00pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Lol

Personally I only believe that sh*t on a person's deathbed..

Life is too unpredictable to speak on such absolutes..

Unless tubes have being tied and ducts snipped


Considering how difficult it is to get those procedures, not having it done isn't a good gauge of someone's seriousness.




Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:07pm
OP...you tryna be with a white man who doesnt want kids or marriage?


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Lol

Personally I only believe that sh*t on a person's deathbed..

Life is too unpredictable to speak on such absolutes..

Unless tubes have being tied and ducts snipped


Considering how difficult it is to get those procedures, not having it done isn't a good gauge of someone's seriousness.



IA. sis said she would NEVER have kids. She had one at 40 something. She's ensured that she cant have any more though.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:12pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Lol

Personally I only believe that sh*t on a person's deathbed..

Life is too unpredictable to speak on such absolutes..

Unless tubes have being tied and ducts snipped


Considering how difficult it is to get those procedures, not having it done isn't a good gauge of someone's seriousness.


that's debatable


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 5:18pm
Whether getting the procedure indicates a person's seriousness...I guess that is debatable.

How difficult it is to get the procedure, definitely not debatable.


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: May 30 2014 at 6:43pm
Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:

When I become elderly I might just buy a woman with my SS checks and adopt a loyal pup to accompany me on fishing trips as I tour the country in my camper.





Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:22am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:



How difficult it is to get the procedure, definitely not debatable.
again that is debatable


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:36am
if you really don't want children it's not hard to prevent them but then ppl start questioning your fertility and sexuality.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:38am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

if you really don't want children it's not hard to prevent them but then ppl start questioning your fertility and sexuality.

ITA


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:42am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

if you really don't want children it's not hard to prevent them but then ppl start questioning your fertility and sexuality.


Truth, once you become thirty the vasectomy is easier to get from doctors.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:52am
Are you getting a vasectomy?


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 10:57am
More than likely. I love my freedom a lot.


Posted By: TOUSHA11
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 1:49pm
I got one child and my tubes been tied since I was 25 which was 10 years ago. I have never had any problems yes people ask what if I want to have more well apparently if I got my tubes tied I do not want more kids. Any man that I am with has to accept that I am not reverse nothing. Young man out here should not be just having kids with random women. At least if you gone be out bad protect yourself and do not trust someone else to do it for you. Women lie men lie if you take your own birth control and fertility issues you will not have any surprises.
 


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 3:58pm
Many men who make that statement are the young-afraid-of-commitment types. But I witness that some change their mind as they mature/get older. 

Serious marriage minded women should avoid getting involved with men who don't have a goal to be married. That's just asking for trouble. 





Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 4:01pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:



How difficult it is to get the procedure, definitely not debatable.
again that is debatable


Lol ok.

I guess you'd have to be a woman seeking birth control to understand the barriers.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 4:05pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

if you really don't want children it's not hard to prevent them but then ppl start questioning your fertility and sexuality.


Nowadays we have a lot of options...but if you really don't want children most birth control isn't a good option because it has too high of a chance of failure.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 4:13pm
hub had no problem getting his vasectomy at age 23(?)
not
a
one.

(@ Ilivebhm's post)


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: May 31 2014 at 4:57pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:



How difficult it is to get the procedure, definitely not debatable.
again that is debatable


Lol ok.

I guess you'd have to be a woman seeking birth control to understand the barriers.


True!



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