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What would you do?

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Printed Date: Feb 25 2018 at 10:45am


Topic: What would you do?
Posted By: goodm3
Subject: What would you do?
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:22am
I have a friend who is dating a guy. They've been dating almost 3 years and are on the road to getting married. (they talked about marriage and are currently looking to pre-martial counseling since things have slowed down with their work schedules)
 
Both guy and girl are 31 and 32 respectively.... neither of them have kids

Recently...the guy's little cousin(7 years old) went missing and was placed in protective custody. The state will not release him to his bio-mother, his bio-father is not in the picture...and others in the family who have stepped up have criminal records so the state will not release the little boy to them either....

Her guy has stated that he wants to get the child...but has NOT outright asked for her opinion on it.

Would you stay knowing that essentially you will be marrying a guy with a kid?

My friend has told me in the past that she only wants to have 1 child because of time and money involved with raising kids. (she didn't say this...but I think she's feels like if her SO raises this little boy, this will be her responsibility as well and I don't think she likes the idea of ready-made families)



Replies:
Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:24am
It's family.  Where is this 7-year-old supposed to go?  This should be a red flag to both of them.  Her because she is seeing how big his heart is - which could lead to other "problems" down the line; and him because he's setting up to marry someone who would leave a 7-year-old in the cold for their dream life.  

Yes it is a big decision and should be discussed but it's family.  There will be many more situations to come so this one should be telling on both parts.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:30am
No time for discussion.
The little boy needed some place to go and if he would have let the little boy go into foster care that would have been disgraceful.

Ish happens.
She can either talk to him and deal with it or find her someone else.

TThat man did the right thing


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:30am
Yes i would stay, she's selfish if she'd end her 3+ year relationship because her man wants to be a decent MAN and take care of his FAMILY, IF she leaves, then he's better off without her. This kid isn't some baby he made on the side, or some random child dropped on their doorstep by a junkie.


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:32am
lol theyre not even engaged and theyre just talking about marriage and thinking about pre-marital counseling.  they need to start having real conversations because it sounds like they may want different things out of a family.  but like most people theyll probably wait until theyre actually married to have this conversation.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:39am
He should do what matters - which is to save the child from what could be traumatizing years in the foster care system.
She sounds a bit selfish. I get why she is put off by the fact that he didn't ask her opinion, but honestly, she should understand that right now his focus is on the kid.
She should stop the marriage talk for a while and let him enjoy the kid. She might like playing mommy too. Or not. Obstacles in life are what show us who people are.
Time will tell.


ps: he sounds like a very noble person with a good heart. she is an idiot.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:48am
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:


Her guy has stated that he wants to get the child...but has NOT outright asked for her opinion on it.

but I think she's feels like if her SO raises this little boy, this will be her responsibility as well and I don't think she likes the idea of ready-made families)


I wonder if he had asked her opinion if she would be honest about it. I bet he would have dumped her right there. Kid went missing, now is in foster care, probably traumatized, and she is worried about herself and her goals?!

She can leave him if she is not happy with the situation, but she has no right to tell him to not take the child in because of her.

Let him play father... a role that many men don't even consider after impregnating someone.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:56am
I would stay.... she's loves him for the same reason he wants to take in the child in.....and its family.....if the tables were turned shed want him to understand and be supportive....


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:15pm
I haven't talked to her in a few days...but I am curious to know if she'd have a baby once they get married. 

If you only wanted 1 child and you took in 1..does that count or no? 


Posted By: miana79
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:34pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I haven't talked to her in a few days...but I am curious to know if she'd have a baby once they get married. 

If you only wanted 1 child and you took in 1..does that count or no? 

The man has a good heart, whats the issue? Would she rather a cold hearted person that didn't care about jus family?


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:43pm
That is awesome of him. She ain't shyyt if she left him for that. She needs to think about it like if something were to happen would she want her own kids in foster care or with biological family? No ma'am. Take the boy in. He's at the age where her boyfriend will make a big impact on his life.

That's 2nd grade Mannnnnn poor baby.Cry


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:49pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

That is awesome of him. She ain't shyyt if she left him for that. She needs to think about it like if something were to happen would she want her own kids in foster care or with biological family? No ma'am. Take the boy in. He's at the age where her boyfriend will make a big impact on his life.

That's 2nd grade Mannnnnn poor baby.Cry

Yes, its very sad because I don't know what type of conditions he's living in. I don't know if "protective custody" means....an interim foster home or like some sort of facility?


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:55pm
I dont think her not wanting to deal with it makes her a bad person. Raising a kid is a lot of work and life changing. Its not like it's temporary either..They should both do what they feel is best....


Posted By: JulieGianni
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:55pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


it is great the guy will take in his cousin but the woman has every right not to want to have to deal with raising a 7 year old out of the blue

either they will stay together or this will end the relationship (obviously lol)





Clap


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:58pm
She does have every right to leave if thats not what she wants......but I think she will regret leaving a good dude for doing an honorable thing......


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:01pm
Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

Yes i would stay, she's selfish if she'd end her 3+ year relationship because her man wants to be a decent MAN and take care of his FAMILY, IF she leaves, then he's better off without her. This kid isn't some baby he made on the side, or some random child dropped on their doorstep by a junkie.

I think that is where most people go wrong. People shame people into situations that people aren't really comfortable with. 

And we don't know if that kid isn't from a junkie's house because his family's rap sheet ain't so great. Man raising a child especially one that isn't your is a great responsibility. He comes in with all the teachings and bag.gage from his family. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
this happened to us a few years into our 'intentionally planned and meticulously crafted' LOL childless marriage. When my sister died , I became guardian to her 8 yr old son. Hub and I had already had the discussion before marriage that we didn't want any kids but we sorta ended up raising one. Best laid plans and all.

This is why I think that even if you plan for everything, things can still change in your marriage and you have to be able to (and willing to) adapt. At the point that a child came into the pix, hub could have said 'I didn't sign up for this so I'm out.'

eta: so no one ask what I would have done if shoe was on other foot. lol


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
they're not married yet though so she has many more options available to her lol.


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:04pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

She does have every right to leave if thats not what she wants......but I think she will regret leaving a good dude for doing an honorable thing......

Man, probably  but that definitely would put a strain on the relationship. No way I'm in my 30's in a relationship (wanting to get married) for three years and not wifed up. Ain't nobody got time for thatCry


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:07pm
I mean yes and no its honorable for him to step up but not if the weight if it all falls in her lap. There are a lot of other factors that have to be addressed. Would raising this child mean pushing her desire to have her own child off to the back burner?



Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:07pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

this happened to us a few years into our 'intentionally planned and meticulously crafted' LOL childless marriage. When my sister died , I became guardian to her 8 yr old son. Hub and I had already had the discussion before marriage that we didn't want any kids but we ended sorta raising one. Best laid plans and all.

This is why I think that even if you plan for everything things can still change in your marriage and you have to be able to (and willing to) adapt. At the point that a child came into the pix, hub could have said 'I didn't sign up for this so I'm out.'

eta: so no one ask what I would have done if shoe was on other foot. lol
Noooooooooooooooooooo,CryCry
I love planning.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:10pm
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

She does have every right to leave if thats not what she wants......but I think she will regret leaving a good dude for doing an honorable thing......

Man, probably  but that definitely would put a strain on the relationship. No way I'm in my 30's in a relationship (wanting to get married) for three years and not wifed up. Ain't nobody got time for thatCry


I don't see the timeline being that bad....more people should court for a few years.....you don't know a person until that third year......a friend of mine is getting married a month after her one anniversary.....I hope they make it but.....thats just seems too fast to me.....Sleepy


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:12pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I mean yes and no its honorable for him to step up but not if the weight if it all falls in her lap. There are a lot of other factors that have to be addressed. Would raising this child mean pushing her desire to have her own child off to the back burner?



I don't think it will TBH....even if he has his cousin....he will still want his own.....and will the state give him financial assistance?


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:19pm
Im not sure...could try to get child support but doubt it would be enough. Im sure he would be willing to still have the kid but she may not think its financially possible. She may fear that she'll be forced into a position shes not ready for. I just feel there are other issues going on in this relationship.



But at least this isnt as bad as the thread about bringing in 5 kids


Eta- if this is something he wants to do and its that important to him he should just do it and not make the choice hers to make. Theyre not married but they seem to be playing house..


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:20pm
My first thoughts about this is how does she actully feel about this?  I mean, personally I wouldn't want a man with a child because that would make me question his morals an values (i.e how he felt about divorc/ sex out of marriage, etc)  so that TO ME would make this a different situation.


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:24pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

I mean yes and no its honorable for him to step up but not if the weight if it all falls in her lap. There are a lot of other factors that have to be addressed. Would raising this child mean pushing her desire to have her own child off to the back burner?


this..im sure she'll be involved if he gets the kid. Not everyone is ready for PTA meetings, leaving work in a rush to pick him up from school, packing lunches, etc...

and we can't say that his decision to want to get the child is not based on the notion that he'll have her help.


Posted By: Findingmyme
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 4:56pm
I would support my man in this situation, but would completely understand if she decided to leave.


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:12pm
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

Yes i would stay, <font size="5" color="#ff0000">she's selfish if she'd end her 3+ year relationship because her man wants to be a decent MAN and take care of his FAMILY, IF she leaves, then he's better off without her. This kid isn't some baby he made on the side, or some random child dropped on their doorstep by a junkie.


I think that is where most people go wrong. People shame people into situations that people aren't really comfortable with. 

And we don't know if that kid isn't from a junkie's house because his families rap sheet ain't so great. Man raising a child especially one that isn't your is a great responsibility. He comes in with all the teachings and ba ge from his family. 


I didn't say the little boy wasn't the child of a junkie, i meant literally left on the doorstep by some random unknown junkie.


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:16pm
I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:20pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....


He gon fuq around and find someone else.......what he looking like? I have some successful pretty friends with no kids that love kids.....where they stay?


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:23pm
Damn sandy

Wow if she wants to leave he should let her go

She's not worth it


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:23pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....


He gon fuq around and find someone else.......what he looking like? I have some successful pretty friends with no kids that love kids.....where they stay?


they live in out the outskirts of Atlanta and...he IS fine. LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:27pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....


He gon fuq around and find someone else.......what he looking like? I have some successful pretty friends with no kids that love kids.....where they stay?


they live in out the outskirts of Atlanta and...he IS fine. LOL

 MMMMMHHHHMMM.....she gon end up with nicca she gotta take care of......chiiiiiile......he chocolate?whats his sign?


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:30pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....


So, her concern then is that she makes more ?

Are they living together ?

What he look like ?


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:31pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I left this out....but does this matter?....

She's an internal medicine doctor (works normal business hours), he's a fire fighter....



He gon fuq around and find someone else.......what he looking like? I have some successful pretty friends with no kids that love kids.....where they stay?



they live in out the outskirts of Atlanta and...he IS fine. LOL


Atlanta ?

I got a pretty cousin, who loves children .... this man go to church ?


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:42pm
 not only is bhm [advice] going to leave her broke and single; they gone take her man and fix him up with someone else too lol


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:44pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

 not only is bhm [advice] going to leave her broke and single; they gone take her man and fix him up with someone else too lol

BHM...is cold blooded... LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:00pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

 not only is bhm [advice] going to leave her broke and single; they gone take her man and fix him up with someone else too lol

BHM...is cold blooded... LOL


Naw she ton leave herself single....and if she gon let him go....I will find someone that will be happy to play house.....


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:04pm
lol @ Sandy


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:06pm
Yall are WRONGLOL


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:18pm
Originally posted by mangachan mangachan wrote:

Yall are WRONGLOL


Why ?

This gentleman needs someone to cook him dinner and rub his back after a long day of saving cats from trees and old ladies from burning apartments. A kid that doesn't come with "baby mama" drama and doesn't need help wiping his ass is good.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:48pm
If it were me, I would be proud of him stepping up to the plate to save the child from a foster care experience.  Its not like he is taking the child just to get a foster care check and the free gas, heating & electricity assistance that comes with a foster child, he is doing it out of compassion, concern and love. He is showing that he is the strong black man that kids need.

If she doesnt want to deal with the situation, she needs to make her choice or hash it out with him and the pre-marriage counselor to see what is best when everything is on the table.

This same scenario happened to a woman that I know. She was in a long term relationship with a guy that we went to college with, maybe 3-4 yrs and talking marriage. He has a doctorate in a mathematic field, is hung like a horse and makes a ton of money by BHM standards he is a 10. She has masters degrees and is management level in her field and they were around the same age, early 30s. The girl had a knucklehead older brother who had a baby with a woman that was as irresponsible as he was and the woman did something and for whatever reason the brother was in trouble at the same time and the child was about to go to foster care then possibly be put up for adoption due to unfit parents, so my friend became the child's guardian/caretaker/mom really overnight. The Mathemetician was like oh hayl no, youre a momma now, so you cant be spontaneous any more and I did not sign up to be play-play-step daddy and he bounced out HARDDDD. Just left with no remorse.

Fast forward 10 yrs later, her brother and them have the little boy and the brother is now more mature and responsible, Mathmetician looked her up & snatched her up and they are now married with a child of their own. No real moral to this story, just possibly that he should have hung in their with her since he ended up looking her up and quickly marrying her anyway.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:50pm
Moral of the story is REGRET.......


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:53pm
I got a different moral but I'm a cynic 


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:04pm
So she would be home solo with the child often since hes away at work?


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:13pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:



This same scenario happened to a woman that I know. She
was in a long term relationship with a guy that we went to college with,
maybe 3-4 yrs and talking marriage. He has a doctorate in a mathematic
field, is hung like a horse and makes a ton of money by BHM standards he
is a 10. She has masters degrees and is management level in her field
and they were around the same age, early 30s. The girl had a knucklehead
older brother who had a baby with a woman that was as irresponsible as
he was and the woman did something and for whatever reason the brother
was in trouble at the same time and the child was about to go to foster
care then possibly be put up for adoption due to unfit parents, so my
friend became the child's guardian/caretaker/mom really overnight. The
Mathemetician was like oh hayl no, youre a momma now, so you cant be
spontaneous any more and I did not sign up to be play-play-step daddy
and he bounced out HARDDDD. Just left with no remorse.

Fast
forward 10 yrs later, her brother and them have the little boy and the
brother is now more mature and responsible, Mathmetician looked her up
& snatched her up and they are now married with a child of their
own. No real moral to this story, just possibly that he should have hung
in their with her since he ended up looking her up and quickly marrying
her anyway.



So, after 10 yrs she's in her early 40's. Was it really love on her part or fear of growing old and being alone ?



Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:20pm
Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:



This same scenario happened to a woman that I know. She
was in a long term relationship with a guy that we went to college with,
maybe 3-4 yrs and talking marriage. He has a doctorate in a mathematic
field, is hung like a horse and makes a ton of money by BHM standards he
is a 10. She has masters degrees and is management level in her field
and they were around the same age, early 30s. The girl had a knucklehead
older brother who had a baby with a woman that was as irresponsible as
he was and the woman did something and for whatever reason the brother
was in trouble at the same time and the child was about to go to foster
care then possibly be put up for adoption due to unfit parents, so my
friend became the child's guardian/caretaker/mom really overnight. The
Mathemetician was like oh hayl no, youre a momma now, so you cant be
spontaneous any more and I did not sign up to be play-play-step daddy
and he bounced out HARDDDD. Just left with no remorse.

Fast
forward 10 yrs later, her brother and them have the little boy and the
brother is now more mature and responsible, Mathmetician looked her up
& snatched her up and they are now married with a child of their
own. No real moral to this story, just possibly that he should have hung
in their with her since he ended up looking her up and quickly marrying
her anyway.



So, after 10 yrs she's in her early 40's. Was it really love on her part or fear of growing old and being alone ?


I was talking about him. He should have hung in there since he ended up having regret of dumping her and realized that she was the person that he let get away. She had moved on, had been engaged two different times to other men and was not living in fear of growing old. When he looked her up, he put everything on the plate, and wooed her really hard, etc and convinced her that he had changed for the better and that he realized that he was an a**hole years back when he dumped her without warning. She was wooed back into love with him by the way that he made himself very vulnerable and open and did everything he needed to do to get her back in his life and to move across the country to marry him. I have no clue about what % of her decision was love, what % was love of that hammer dik or what % was love of his money/social class/financial security since he is paiddddd...I just know that back in the day, he was the love of her life til she dumped him and she was very excited when he looked her up though she was a bit ashamed to discuss the fact that she used to say that she would never ever forgive him. People change tho and they seem very happy.

She is actually younger than he is, he is now 42 and she is now @38 and the baby is around 1.5 yrs.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:23pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I got a different moral but I'm a cynic 

I hope for the best, but my view is that he is the type that would leave her high and dry if she had a child with a disability or if something happened where she got in an accident and was in a wheelchair/disfigured or something. IMO, how you handle crisis and inconvenient yet important situations means a whole lot...


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:29pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I got a different moral but I'm a cynic 

I hope for the best, but my view is that he is the type that would leave her high and dry if she had a child with a disability or if something happened where she got in an accident and was in a wheelchair/disfigured or something. IMO, how you handle crisis and inconvenient yet important situations means a whole lot...


That's what i thought, didn't wanna be that negative.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:29pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I got a different moral but I'm a cynic 

I hope for the best, but my view is that he is the type that would leave her high and dry if she had a child with a disability or if something happened where she got in an accident and was in a wheelchair/disfigured or something. IMO, how you handle crisis and inconvenient yet important situations means a whole lot...


 yep


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:33pm
Yep. So mr. fireman in the original scenario may feel the same way when ms. md rejects his innocent, helpless little cousin.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:49pm
He's doing the right thing for his cousin but she doesn't have to accept something she don't want thats not fair to her at all.


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:54pm
I think he is asking a lot of her O wait he didn't ask because she has no kids and a high demand job so I dont think it makes less of a person I rather her say she is not with it then deal with a child she secretly hates.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:59pm
Last question.....he got good dicc?


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 8:08pm
Well I don't wrong either of them, but if they were married, then his family becomes hers too... IMO, you gotta do what you gotta do when it comes to family... there's too many black kids in care... and if it wasnt part of my plan, then my plan would have to change.
BUT
if this really isnt right for her, she needs to leave, rather than stay and end up resenting the child or her hubby


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 8:26pm
Originally posted by thewonderfulwa thewonderfulwa wrote:

I think he is asking a lot of her O wait he didn't ask because she has no kids and a high demand job so I dont think it makes less of a person I rather her say she is not with it then deal with a child she secretly hates.


his job is more demanding....i think fire fighters work like 3 days on and 3 off type of situations




Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 8:27pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Last question.....he got good dicc?

i don't know all of that.. LOL 


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 8:38pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by thewonderfulwa thewonderfulwa wrote:

I think he is asking a lot of her O wait he didn't ask because she has no kids and a high demand job so I dont think it makes less of a person I rather her say she is not with it then deal with a child she secretly hates.



his job is more demanding....i think fire fighters work like 3 days on and 3 off type of situations




Yea I thought they lived there most of the week so then she will be responsible for the child.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 8:53pm
Originally posted by rell85 rell85 wrote:

He's doing the right thing for his cousin but she doesn't have to accept something she don't want thats not fair to her at all.
This. It's good he is taking in his family and it is up to her if she wants to stay involved or not.


Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:33pm
CryCryCry
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

 not only is bhm [advice] going to leave her broke and single; they gone take her man and fix him up with someone else too lol

CryCry



Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: May 28 2014 at 12:22am
wrong thread lmao Embarrassed


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: May 28 2014 at 5:57am
I would have been pissed and left.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Nov 07 2014 at 4:05pm
So...whats the update, my friend?
Are they still together? Details please.

*Insert Morgan Freeman awaiting face GIF here*


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Nov 08 2014 at 3:20pm
no update?


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Nov 08 2014 at 3:33pm
I havent seen her post on BHM for a while.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Nov 08 2014 at 3:48pm
Family is family.....



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