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Street Harassment

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=370994
Printed Date: Oct 16 2018 at 10:29am


Topic: Street Harassment
Posted By: Az~Maverick
Subject: Street Harassment
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 4:49am
Sometimes, I'm just tryna get from point A to point B and it never fails outta nowhere, some dude will feel like me walking outside my house is for the sole purpose of HIS entertainment. 

I know this has been discussed before, so you can look at this as a rant of sorts, but I'm SO Censored tired of being told to smile, being blatantly stared at while I'm reading my book, or feel like I just can't sit there and mind my own business without pretending to look at my phone, so I won't have to be bothered.....that's too much like right for some of these idiots Sleepy

Just last month coming home from work on the bus, some drunk bastard TOLD me he was gonna follow me home. I told the driver what happened and he got thrown off the bus. I have been followed home before and threatened with rape years ago, so sadly, I'm always on high alert when I'm out.

To be fair, I KNOW this can happen to both men and women.....but in reality, it DOES happen to mostly women. And I've gotten to the point where I'm sick of it!





Replies:
Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 6:27am
"Street harassment is never a compliment.  If it were a compliment we would be like these are street compliments.  We call it street harassment because it's actually harassment."


"If you are truly giving  a genuine compliment then you probably aren't going to expect anything in return."



Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 12:55pm
sh*t like this makes me apprehensive of working out outside.  I don't like to be spoken to much less have contact with a human being.  My focus and goal is to get 60 minutes of aerobics/cardio and go home.  At times I feel like I am living in Egypt.


Posted By: Benni
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 1:14pm
Idiots without boundaries


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 1:31pm
i got followed a while ago too...for blocks..smh...and my phone was deadOuch
and you cant ignore all these crazy mofos...some get more aggressive if you dont pay them any attention

so whats best a taser or stun gun? i just need enough to scare em off and so i can escape...
a gun is too much for lil ole me


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 9:05pm
@Modeless: You're pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't, and it's way too many crazy folks out there. You just don't know what kind of crazy you're dealing with when this happens. 


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: May 26 2014 at 9:52pm
true^^^ too many different types of crazy...dangerous..no telling what will set a person off...
I hate how you can't just mind your business and not be bothered these days..so annoying..


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:12am
it is awful. i feel like i am in the Middle East in a country where women are not permitted to walk unescorted by a man and if they do they are open to be verbally attacked as well as open to physical attack. My view is dont say ish to me that you wouldnt say in front of your wife or in front of a dude that could kick your azz.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:21am
BHM Member "Zupreme" is one of the people in the illustrationWink:




Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:29am
Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

@Modeless: You're pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't, and it's way too many crazy folks out there. You just don't know what kind of crazy you're dealing with when this happens. 

One of my friends, a professional model was shot when she ignored someone's street harassment/catcalls.

The 1st time that I went to Asia, I was harassed so badly by the Iranian men that were there that I barely got through my trip without being physically assaulted. I was chased and one guy tried to force himself into the phone booth that I was in and he had a beer in his hand trying to make me take it.

Women are not protected, especially Black women. Random azz men tend to see us as available to them for their pleasure and entertainment and get verbally & physically aggressive when we ignore/dismiss/reject them or attempt to protect ourselves from their cat calls and street harassmentOuch.

I remember walking down 125th St in Harlem one time and some dude that was at first trying to sell childrens books started trying to come on to me then followed me for blocks telling me off. I was ignoring him and told him to chill b/c I was informing the cops and he crossed the street. Buss how he saw me hours later and started following me harassing me again smh. Patience was gone, it was about 95 degrees and I kindly and calmly told him the hell off with a barrage of questions like I was channeling my 74 yr mama and he left me alone.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:57am
Oh my goodness we all have stories.. every single one of us.

These men are insane.. and they know their behavior is out of line but they don't care! They feel entitled to our bodies and by acting the way they do, they're INTENTIONALLY creating an environment where it is too scary for us to say no- an environment where it is SAFER for us to say yes even though it's clear we don't want to.

You really are damned if you do, damned if you don't. You can't win. I'm so glad these conversations are becoming more and more necessary and there is growing outrage at this behavior that has been normalized for too long.

Cry "waah PC/liberal crap" all you like as if this is the HuffPo comment section, these conversations are necessary. Things have gotten this bad because we've ignored and bizarrely internalized this behavior as normal male behavior. Any speaking out against this entitlement and behavior and you get labeled as a man-hater when such words don't even come from a place of hate but of concern.  We can't afford to do that any more.

Women are out here getting violated, hurt, and killed just because some man got a little booboo on his precious ego.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 4:14am
OMG LADIES" i know my words won't make the situation go away...

please be careful, I know you are but this is another situation females have to be concerned of..how come we females just can't live and breathe without drama/violence added to our daily living...domestic violence, street harrassed, raped, etc...

wake up, go to work,school, come home to be with our family,(or by yourself) go to sleep...but in between those moments something is always happening to us as females that just shouldn't happen..


Hug



Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 4:56am
These stories just angers me....


Another incident happened recently, my 21 y.o. daughter works as a cashier and she told me some old 65-70ish yt man was taking pics of her with his cell phone without her permission. She told me about it and was very upset about it, of course......and so was I Angry

As fate would have it, she just got off from work and lo and behold, "picture guy" was there waiting in another isle to buy stuff. I went up to him and asked was he taking pics of my daughter, he admitted it and was verbally stumbling telling me he understood it upset her and he's sorry, blah, blah......I didn't yell, but I did speak loud enough where other people took notice. I wanted EVERYONE to know what kind of nasty bastard he was.

I won't say what I exactly said to him but, lets just say he hasn't been back at that place since......

Some of these men are just fucced up in the head forreal!


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:26am
Thanks! I try....Embarrassed


Yes, I got  issues if you mess with me, but mess with my kids....that's a whole 'nutha matter.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 6:11am
AZ----..U GO GIRL...ClapX'S A MILLION...


Posted By: MsBMW
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 7:02am
Seems like the harassment is getting worse.. 


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 9:43am
Daily life, I used to ignore them, but i'm learning that not saying "Hi" or "Thanks" makes it worse. It bothers me more when i'm with Jellybean.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 10:47am
I was walking from a walmart to my car a few nights ago around 1130pm and I walked past a group of redneck looking dudes and they were like " Gotdamn look at that ass! Nice and tight!" I was so pissed. I started to curse them out but it was late and hardly anyone else in the parking lot and I didn't want to risk being harmed. Instead I turned around and gave them the nastiest most evil death stare I could.



Posted By: TexturizedDiva
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:21am
In my pedestrian days, I was harassed so bad here in Atlanta that I considered dressing in a Niqab/Burka with only my eyes visible and I'm not even Muslim.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:24am
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

I was walking from a walmart to my car a few nights ago around 1130pm and I walked past a group of redneck looking dudes and they were like " Gotdamn look at that ass! Nice and tight!" I was so pissed. I started to curse them out but it was late and hardly anyone else in the parking lot and I didn't want to risk being harmed. Instead I turned around and gave them the nastiest most evil death stare I could.



Where you been at petiteone! I forgot your username but I was wondering where you were.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:27am
Originally posted by Im_oh_so_hott Im_oh_so_hott wrote:

Daily life, I used to ignore them, but i'm learning that not saying "Hi" or "Thanks" makes it worse. It bothers me more when i'm with Jellybean.


Cute baby!

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 11:43am
*Heavy sarcasm* I don't understand. You all were not dressed in mini skirts, tight tube tops, 6 in heels walking around when you were getting harassed/stalked? You were not asking for it? How can this be?Ermm

SMH!


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 12:40pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

I was walking from a walmart to my car a few nights ago around 1130pm and I walked past a group of redneck looking dudes and they were like " Gotdamn look at that ass! Nice and tight!" I was so pissed. I started to curse them out but it was late and hardly anyone else in the parking lot and I didn't want to risk being harmed. Instead I turned around and gave them the nastiest most evil death stare I could.



Where you been at petiteone! I forgot your username but I was wondering where you were.

LOL! Hey liesnalibis! I've been busy with the family and life in general. But doing good. Smile




Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:25pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

*Heavy sarcasm* I don't understand. You all were not dressed in mini skirts, tight tube tops, 6 in heels walking around when you were getting harassed/stalked? You were not asking for it? How can this be?Ermm

SMH!


I know right??  Dressed in t-shirt, jeans & hardly no makeup I just HAD TO be begging for it. SleepyErmmLOL 



Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by TexturizedDiva TexturizedDiva wrote:

In my pedestrian days, I was harassed so bad here in Atlanta that I considered dressing in a Niqab/Burka with only my eyes visible and I'm not even Muslim.

My daughter did something similar to this for awhile because she kept getting hit on by creepy old yt men. DeadErmm


Posted By: Jess
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 4:04pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

@Modeless: You're pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't, and it's way too many crazy folks out there. You just don't know what kind of crazy you're dealing with when this happens. 

One of my friends, a professional model was shot when she ignored someone's street harassment/catcalls.

The 1st time that I went to Asia, I was harassed so badly by the Iranian men that were there that I barely got through my trip without being physically assaulted. I was chased and one guy tried to force himself into the phone booth that I was in and he had a beer in his hand trying to make me take it.

Women are not protected, especially Black women. Random azz men tend to see us as available to them for their pleasure and entertainment and get verbally & physically aggressive when we ignore/dismiss/reject them or attempt to protect ourselves from their cat calls and street harassmentOuch.

I remember walking down 125th St in Harlem one time and some dude that was at first trying to sell childrens books started trying to come on to me then followed me for blocks telling me off. I was ignoring him and told him to chill b/c I was informing the cops and he crossed the street. Buss how he saw me hours later and started following me harassing me again smh. Patience was gone, it was about 95 degrees and I kindly and calmly told him the hell off with a barrage of questions like I was channeling my 74 yr mama and he left me alone.
Is your friend well?


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:53pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

@Modeless: You're pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't, and it's way too many crazy folks out there. You just don't know what kind of crazy you're dealing with when this happens. 

One of my friends, a professional model was shot when she ignored someone's street harassment/catcalls.

Is your friend well?

Yes, thanks. She was very lucky to have only a flesh wound and nothing life-threatening.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: May 27 2014 at 5:59pm
Originally posted by TexturizedDiva TexturizedDiva wrote:

In my pedestrian days, I was harassed so bad here in Atlanta that I considered dressing in a Niqab/Burka with only my eyes visible and I'm not even Muslim.

Im glad that you mentioned that. I have to 'pass' from time to time when I know that I am going to have to walk in areas where guys are out of control.

I remember asking Purpulicious (a Muslimah) about that a few years ago to make sure I wasnt offending anyone. That was after some big boy 17-21yrs smacked my butt in the middle of the street in one of the busiest intersections in NJ and I had on a loose grey mens thermal shirt and loose grey mens sweatpants. If I had a weapon on me (umm which I...nvmdStern Smile), he would have got it and I would have been the dummy in jail and in the newspaper for assault).



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