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Tarajis reaching across the pond, yall

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Printed Date: Nov 21 2017 at 12:31pm


Topic: Tarajis reaching across the pond, yall
Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Subject: Tarajis reaching across the pond, yall
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:07pm
http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014/04/taraji-p-henson-says-european-men-less-bitter-jaded-american-men/" rel="nofollow -

Taraji P. Henson Says European Men Are Less ‘Bitter’ and ‘Jaded’ Than American Men


Last week, Britni asked if http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014/04/europe-single-black-womans-promised-land/" rel="nofollow - Europe is the single black women’s promised land . If Taraji P. Henson read that post, she might’ve raised her hand and yelled, “Yasssss!”

The 43-year-old actress recently told Wendy Williams she’s peeking outside the States, too.

“I’m dating. The thing is that I’m done – I can’t say that I’m totally done with American men, but I’m very excited about my finds over [Wendy: In Europe where the Counts are?]”

She explains why she’s interested in the men across the pond:

“You know what it is? I think there’s a cultural difference with men from other countries. They are not as bitter and jaded and closed up as a lot of the men here,” she says. “I’m not saying all men. I can’t say that I’m done with American men. I’ll never say that.”

Watch Taraji talk about dating, her character in Person of Interest and her new movie role in From the Rough before she performs a reading from Wendy’s new book, “Hold Me in Contempt.”

her hand in the dating game. Interestingly, these days, the “Think Like A Man Too” actress admits that she’s a lot more interested in men overseas than the ones she’s meeting in the States.

“I’m dating. The thing is that I’m done — I can’t say that I’m totally done with American men, but I’m very excited about my finds over [Wendy: In Europe where the Counts are?].”

According to Taraji, the men are a lot less “bitter” and “jaded” than guys from the States.

“You know what it is? I think there’s a cultural difference with men from other countries. They are not as bitter and jaded and closed up as a lot of the men here.”

She of course, made it clear that not all American men are jaded.

“I’m not saying all men. I can’t say that I’m done with American men. I’ll never say that.”

The 43-year-old beauty also discussed her character being killed off on CBS’ “Person of Interest”.


Taraji P. Henson recently confessed to Wendy Williams that while she’s single, she has been playing her hand in the dating game. Interestingly, these days, the “Think Like A Man Too” actress admits that she’s a lot more interested in men overseas than the ones she’s meeting in the States.

“I’m dating. The thing is that I’m done — I can’t say that I’m totally done with American men, but I’m very excited about my finds over [Wendy: In Europe where the Counts are?].”

According to Taraji, the men are a lot less “bitter” and “jaded” than guys from the States.

“You know what it is? I think there’s a cultural difference with men from other countries. They are not as bitter and jaded and closed up as a lot of the men here.”

She of course, made it clear that not all American men are jaded.

“I’m not saying all men. I can’t say that I’m done with American men. I’ll never say that.”

The 43-year-old beauty also discussed her character being killed off on CBS’ “Person of Interest”.

“I signed on knowing that Carter would come to an end eventually and I like it. I love doing films, so you sign on for seven years and it’s like, ‘I gotta pass that up? Ehhhh.’ It was a perfect marriage for me. I could do both. [I signed on for 3 seasons], but it really only wound up being 2.5. They had the right to make it whenever they wanted. And we couldn’t reveal that to the audience because then the surprise element is gone.”

“It’s bittersweet. Sometimes I’ll get a tweet and a fan will go: ‘Girl, I love you. But I sure miss you on Person of Interest.’ And I’m like, ‘Get over it’ [laughs].”

- See more at: http://madamenoire.com/421612/theyre-bitter-jaded/#sthash.Q6GUyFrV.dpuf



Replies:
Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:14pm
Just say white boys instead of europeans! BITTER BLACK WOMAN SYNDROME!!!


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:19pm
I think I agree.. 
I didn't read all of that but yea I think they love us over there


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:31pm
Welp  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:31pm
The blue font made me chuckle.

Then I clicked it, scrolled down, watched the video and now I has a sad
Unhappy


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:32pm
BB dun lost her damn mind.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:35pm
If you agree you an Aunt Jemima


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:39pm
It's her.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:42pm
is her child's father in the pic?


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:45pm
Different strokes for diff folks.. 

Do most men in Africa have the same preferences as black men in America?
Are they not different?

Same goes for men in Europe vs. Men here..
We all know black women here aren't the most sought after.. quite the contrary according to statistics..
I know y'all only like statistics when it's something you agree with though..

I don't know what statistics are like there though.. they just seem to really like us imo.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:46pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

is her child's father in the pic?


No.

Taraji was in her third year as a theatre major at Howard University when she became pregnant by her boyfriend, William Johnson. Taraji didn’t drop out of school when she became pregnant, instead finishing her degree. Her son Marcel was born in 1995. His father was brutally murdered in 1997


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:48pm
it can depend on where in Africa or where in Europe of course...


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:55pm
Well, I'm Black and what she says is true.

I nevvvvveer got the kind of attention from men in America that I receive in Europe. There are a ton of married AA women over here that will say the same.

Scoff if you like but .. true story.


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:58pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Well, I'm Black and what she says is true.

I nevvvvveer got the kind of attention from men in America that I receive in Europe. There are a ton of married AA women over here that will say the same.

Scoff if you like but .. true story.
Not this sht from you again.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:59pm
Originally posted by iliveforbhm iliveforbhm wrote:

Just say white boys instead of europeans! BITTER BLACK WOMAN SYNDROME!!!


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 6:59pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Different strokes for diff folks.. 

Do most men in Africa have the same preferences as black men in America?
Are they not different?

Same goes for men in Europe vs. Men here..
We all know black women here aren't the most sought after.. quite the contrary according to statistics..
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">I know y'all only like statistics when it's something you agree with though..</span>

I don't know what statistics are like there though.. they just seem to really like us imo.


I don't know the stats either but just going by my friends and couples I see on the streets etc these past 14 years ... the stats are HIGH.

The culture is so different though ... that's why. People in general ... are not 'thinking' the same as the people in The States and that's what Taraji is currently experiencing.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:04pm
If u bad, you'll get attention wherever u go
*shrug*


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:05pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Different strokes for diff folks.. 

Do most men in Africa have the same preferences as black men in America?
Are they not different?

Same goes for men in Europe vs. Men here..
We all know black women here aren't the most sought after.. quite the contrary according to statistics..
I know y'all only like statistics when it's something you agree with though..

I don't know what statistics are like there though.. they just seem to really like us imo.

I agree with your post although I dont think American/European men are THAT different. It woulda been news if she said Africa was paradise or something. Personally, I think all statistics are BS, the good and the bad Dead


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:06pm
F5


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:11pm
Coco you saying white men overseas love us?
Like they loved Sarah Baartman? Or nah? 


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:12pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

If u bad, you'll get attention wherever u go
*shrug*


*gets attention wherever I go*


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:21pm
I get so tired of them promoting Italy as the promised land for black women.

Sorry, I'm not going to a country that compares/or mistakes me as one of their black prostitutes they have out there.


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:33pm
for some reason I thought she was talking about Brothers in the UK?

guys like


or whatever



Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:33pm
who cares...


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:37pm
Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

I get so tired of them promoting Italy as the promised land for black women.

Sorry, I'm not going to a country that compares/or mistakes me as one of their black prostitutes they have out there.
Gurl! If I hear one more negro say Italy is the promise land utopia for negro folk I swear.LOL




Posted By: Journey94
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:47pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Different strokes for diff folks.. 

Do most men in Africa have the same preferences as black men in America?
Are they not different?

Same goes for men in Europe vs. Men here..
We all know black women here aren't the most sought after.. quite the contrary according to statistics..
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">I know y'all only like statistics when it's something you agree with though..</span>

I don't know what statistics are like there though.. they just seem to really like us imo.


More of a fetish than anything. Americans love Americans & races in America marry & date each other. Don't know why people go against facts to try to push their own warped reality


Posted By: Journey94
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:48pm
Originally posted by Journey94 Journey94 wrote:

Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Different strokes for diff folks.. 

Do most men in Africa have the same preferences as black men in America?
Are they not different?

Same goes for men in Europe vs. Men here..
We all know black women here aren't the most sought after.. quite the contrary according to statistics..
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">I know y'all only like statistics when it's something you agree with though..</span>

I don't know what statistics are like there though.. they just seem to really like us imo.


More of a fetish than anything. Americans love Americans & races in America marry & date those of the same race as them. Don't know why people go against facts to try to push their own warped reality


Posted By: Journey94
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 7:49pm
Idk how I posted twice lol this site acts dumb sometimes


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 8:12pm
I really wish I could paste that chris tucker friday gif..
The one where he's waving his hand like shoo and frowning


Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 8:12pm
Sometimes I think black women are more gracious to non black men.  If a black man has a flaw he's the devil.  But any other race is intriguing.  We get so pressed when people make sweeping generalizations about us but I feel the same damn way about our men.  If Tajari wants to join the Tina Turner club and become a citizen elsewhere then go on girl.  

This really doesn't surprise me after she did a movie with bitter ass Kevin Hart.

Are we the only race that gets out of a bad relationship and thinks another race is the answer not just a different man?

I'm totally biased having never dated outside my race but I hear the same things from women who do.  Fall in love and shut up.  If you're in love then we're happy for you but that has nothing to do with my AA brothers.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 8:23pm
Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

BB dun lost her damn mind.


lol i didn't get it at first. I was like wtf did i do?


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 8:43pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

BB dun lost her damn mind.


lol i didn't get it at first. I was like wtf did i do?
LOL You do look like you're kind of slow in that picture.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 8:52pm
Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

BB dun lost her damn mind.


lol i didn't get it at first. I was like wtf did i do?
LOL You do look like you're kind of slow in that picture.





Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 9:13pm


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 9:56pm
My professor commented that her friends (they are all on their late 50's) like to travel to Europe because over there they are more sought after than here and they come back with their self-esteem boosted to 10000000%


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 10:09pm

Why Black Women In America Are Being Told To Find Love In Europe

“Swirl.” posted on

http://www.buzzfeed.com/anitabadejo" rel="nofollow">
http://www.buzzfeed.com/anitabadejo" rel="nofollow - Anita Badejo BuzzFeed Staff
http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.buzzfeed.com/anitabadejo/why-black-women-in-america-are-being-told-to-find-love-in-eu&t=Why%20Black%20Women%20In%20America%20Are%20Being%20Told%20To%20Find%20Love%20In%20Europe" rel="nofollow -
-  

Illustration by Brittany Holloway-Brown for BuzzFeed

At first glance, http://blackgirltravel.com/" rel="nofollow - Black Girl Travel seems to be like any other American international travel club, just one that caters exclusively to black women. But buried toward the bottom of its About Us page is a fuzzy YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JonfQQEbJig&feature=youtu.be" rel="nofollow - video that indicates a wider problem.

The video is a defense of the company — directed at “haters” who have criticized Black Girl Travel for encouraging black women to date men in other countries.

“The heart of what we do is about empowering African-American women with options,” says Fleacé Weaver, founder of Black Girl Travel, in the clip. “I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I’m hearing is: You can’t find dates, you can’t find mates, you can’t find husbands.”

Weaver, a statuesque black woman flanked by two chic employees on either side, is all long lithe limbs and wavy hair. Her presence, despite the poor video quality, commands the screen.

“And I kind of thought about, like, well why is that? And as I started talking to [women] it’s like, they’re only dating black guys. Don’t shoot me!” she exclaims, pressing her hands to her chest, then throwing them out in a shrug. “It’s the truth. That’s what’s happening.”

She cites her research, 2008 census data that suggests that even if every black man chose to partner with a black woman, there would still be 1.5 million black women left mate-less.

“That’s why I created BlackGirlTravel.com. To get you to start thinking about dating interracially,” Weaver says warmly. “There are a lot of incredible men out there, yes, you know you want a brother. … That’s what you want, right? And that’s OK. But we know it’s just not enough to go around!” Weaver’s staff laughs along with her.

“What you gotta do is open your mind.”

Weaver’s not alone in her exhortation to black American women. The idea that we should travel abroad — particularly to Europe — to find love has a home in online discussion groups, travel websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, all of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to “swirl,” i.e., date non-black men (the term is designed to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).

Though they vary in tone — some are celebratory, extolling the joys of finding http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/swirling-success-sweden/" rel="nofollow - “Swirling Success in Sweden” while others are bear hard-nosed messages like http://blog.blackwomenineurope.com/the-dating-truth-for-black-women-go-to-europe-and-dont-look-back/" rel="nofollow - “The Dating Truth for Black Women: Go to Europe and Don’t Look Back” — every site insists that black women in America are better off looking for love in another country.

I first came across the encouragements to go to Europe and “swirl” when I was a junior in college preparing to study abroad in Sweden. Though I cringe to admit it now, I was excited by the possibility of a semester spent flirting with Swedes. As a painfully self-conscious biracial woman, I had struggled to date at an Ivy League school, and studying abroad was as much an escape as it was a necessary academic endeavor for an international relations major. But I am also a European Union citizen, born in Hungary to a Hungarian mother and Nigerian father, and my optimism was tempered by the reality of my experiences living and traveling in Europe, experiences that taught me I was both Other and object. As much as I wanted to believe in sites that told me differently — that men across the pond were just waiting for my arrival — I felt like I also knew better.

And while these sites say they intend to expose black women to a world of possibilities, the “possibilities” seem to predominantly feature black women with white men — a move that, intentionally or not, presents interracial dating as aspirational. Kim Butler, a data editor from California who moved to Germany in 2011, http://blackgirlinberlin.com/europe-is-not-the-answer-to-your-dating-problems/" rel="nofollow - pushed back on the argument that Europe is a solution to black female singlehood on her blog last year. She told me she’s noticed many of the pro-“swirl” websites seem to be pushing one message: “What is right is white.” But Butler says there is more of a conversation to be had. “Are we going to start talking about some of the issues going on in America, why there’s not so many black female couplings … or are we just going to say, ‘Screw it! We’ll just go to Europe and find a white guy.’”

“That’s not what we’re saying,” Weaver told me via Skype from Rome. She’s a former Los Angeles socialite who ran a once-popular site for affluent African-American Angelenos: blackweekly.com. “We say, ‘Date all men.’”

And her statement was more or less repeated by nearly every one of the women I interviewed who advocate that black women date interracially and internationally. Several added that they tell women to “choose character over color.” But it’s difficult to scroll through picture after picture of beaming-black-woman-with-smiling-white-man and not feel that interracial relationships are being idealized, rather than simply celebrated, an experience discomfiting enough that it has at times made me question my own relationship with a white man.

“Once those images are posted and once they’re permeating society, then a certain kind of picture is presented and reinforced about who black women should be with,” Tiya Miles told me over the phone.

Last year Miles, the chair of African-American studies at the University of Michigan–Ann Arbor and a former MacArthur fellow, wrote about the issues facing black women and interracial dating for the http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tiya-miles/interracial-dating-and-marriage_b_4213066.html" rel="nofollow - Huffington Post . While “in a perfect world love would be blind,” she wrote, in the United States — and its polarized racial landscape in which black is essentially bad and white is essentially good — our romantic decisions are also political ones, whether we’d like them to be or not.

The practical, not the political, was certainly the driving force for Weaver when she founded Black Girl Travel. The company, which was originally named Bella Italia before expanding to other countries, arranges tours for groups ranging from fewer than 10 to over 70. She could readily name all the women she’s taken to Italy who are currently in relationships with, or married to, Italian men. But she insisted that Black Girl Travel’s purpose isn’t to convince black women that Europe is the solution to their singlehood.

“I’m not saying it is the promised land; I’m just saying you have more options,” Weaver said.

Weaver is speaking to what she calls “the 1.5 million”: the number of black women in America who outnumbered black men in 2008 (now 2.5 million according to current census data). The women who, even if every black man chose to date a black woman, would still be left without a partner. Because it assumes all black women are heterosexual, this figure can’t accurately convey the number of single black women seeking a male partner. But black men are http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/interracial-marriage-in-us_n_1281229.html" rel="nofollow - more than twice as likely than black women to marry outside their race, perhaps because stereotypes about black men and sexuality increase their desirability — while comparable parallels aren’t often available to black women. According to some advocates of interracial dating, unlike black men, black women face a unique pressure to date within their race.

“Black women are the community,” said Christelyn Karazin, founder of BeyondBlackWhite.com, author of Swirling, and creator of a new interracial dating show Swirlr, told me via Skype. “It’s like what Alice Walker said: We’re the mules. We’re the mammies. We’re not supposed to leave. We’re supposed to be holding it down. ‘I love my black kings, I’m holding it down!’ Meanwhile, so many of us are so miserable and unhappy and think that we don’t even deserve to be happy — that it’s about being black first and a woman never.”

Karazin, who also spearheaded a http://prospect.org/article/shame-game-0" rel="nofollow - controversial movement advocating against single motherhood in the black communtiy, describes tangled and knotted long-standing ideas about black desirability and femininity — or, the supposed lack thereof. The slave trade turned black bodies into objects of toil and labor, and made black women’s bodies desirable largely in the context of rape, which allowed slave masters to exert further control over them. Slapstick mammies made exultant, toothy-grinned claims on the screens of early 20th-century cinema, their large and lumbering figures merely vehicles for laughs. And black female sexuality has often only been portrayed in its most grotesque and sensational forms, those of Hottentot Venuses or conniving jezebels. Throughout American history black women were either desexualized or hypersexualized according to the whims and anxieties of whites in control of their images.

In America, with the exceptions of nearly exclusively light-skinned celebrities, to desire a black woman is to reach your hand into the bottom of the beauty standard barrel. It’s why the adoration following Lupita has been so refreshing, and http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/03/lupita-nyongos-radical-world-changing-style/284274/" rel="nofollow - complicated . As http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/why-black-women-are-less-physically-attractive-tha" rel="nofollow - recently as 2011, science (or, “science”) has been used to claim that black women are decidedly unattractive. As black women in the United States, we’re told not only that we http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/11/opinion/sunday/black-and-female-the-marriage-question.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0" rel="nofollow - likely won’t get married, (based on oft-misconstrued statistics that apply only to women aged 25–29), but that trying via modern conventions like online dating are probably futile — after all, we’re also the http://www.npr.org/2013/11/13/244991552/online-dating-asian-women-preferred" rel="nofollow - least likely to get messaged in online dating.

Malika Walker arrived in Rome two weeks ago as Weaver’s new assistant. Her boss said she “can’t even keep up with” how many dates Walker has been asked on since arriving.

“I guess you could say my stock is up in Europe,” Walker told me, with an exuberant laugh. “I felt like Naomi [Campbell] when I got off the plane. When I walked through the airport, I felt like a supermodel.”

Walker, who calls herself dark-skinned and repeatedly noted that she used to be heavier, moved to Italy from Atlanta, Ga. In Atlanta, she explained, light-skinned ideals made it difficult for her to date, though she had long ago learned to find validation from within rather than without. “Someone else’s preferences don’t define my value.”

Chelsea Como, Weaver’s other assistant who moved to Rome in 2012, echoed Walker’s statements. As a self-identified “brown-skinned” woman in Miami, Fla., she found she couldn’t live up to anyone’s ideals of desirability.

“I felt like as a brown-skinned girl, there was nothing extraordinary about me as a black woman who’s in shape but doesn’t have a humongous booty or the whole Nicki Minaj-J.Lo body type,” she told me. “I wasn’t ‘thick’ enough.”

The first time Como traveled with Black Girl Travel, in 2009, the script was completely flipped.

“When I came to Italy, it was like ‘What a beautiful figure you have!’ and ‘Your skin is so beautiful, it shines!’ or ‘I love your smile!’ The things that they looked at me [for] or complimented me on were things that I didn’t value because I felt that the society I lived in didn’t value them.”

Como also admitted that getting honked at on the streets of Rome made her initially feel uncomfortable.

“I was very self-conscious, but then I embraced it,” Como said. “I’d felt invisible for such a long time, and then when I came to Italy, Italian girls felt that I was competition … In America, a white girl doesn’t feel threatened at all by a black woman.”

An aspiring singer-songwriter who traveled with Weaver four times before making the move to Italy, Como said she only started wearing her natural hair after she left the U.S. “If you could go somewhere, be yourself 100%, try, experiment, and whatever you did, people would appreciate that, wouldn’t you want to be there?”

My thoughts have lingered longingly on this question — why, yes, I would want to be there. Yet, in the context of this Euro-topia, I wonder what to make of those in Italy who’ve http://www.npr.org/2013/05/02/180570054/-does-italy-have-a-racism-problem" rel="nofollow - derided their cabinet minister, Cecile Kyenge, as a “Congolese monkey” leading a “bunga-bunga goverment.” I’m puzzled by the French family who decided it was appropriate for their 12-year-old son to present the French justice minister with a http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/comment/2013/11/the-justice-minister-and-the-banana-how-racist-is-france.html" rel="nofollow - banana . And I’m at a loss to understand the actions of the Swedish minister of culture, who smiled at the opportunity to http://colorlines.com/archives/2012/04/but_is_it_art_swedish_culture_minister_in_worlds_most_racist_cake-cutting_scandal.html" rel="nofollow - cut into a cake in the form of a black woman as the artist who created it screamed in agony, his face smeared in black paint.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’m on a date and all the guy’s doing is rubbing on my skin and telling me how much he loves the color of my skin,” Weaver said. “One friend of mine has been married to my friend for 17 years, he said that he still loves her like he did from day one and that he likes touching her skin because her skin feels like velvet.”

Some might say that sounds like a fetish or exotification, an issue many black women fear when they date interracially.

But Karazin chalked that up to “defensiveness,” saying, “We’re always so weary that if somebody appreciates what we look like and who we are, then we automatically go into the mode of ‘Oh, they’re fetishizing me.’”

Having grown increasingly frustrated for years by incessant and unsolicited comments about how I look, I have shielded myself to the point that I sometimes wonder whether I’m too quick to judge. But in my experience, the “keen interest” I’ve received from men in the European nations I’ve traveled to have been more about exotification than genuine appreciation. My skin, facial features, and hair have all been subjects of questioning and prodding, and on one occasion, in Romania, I left a public pool after an older man, who stared relentlessly for several minutes, eventually retrieved his cell phone and attempted to take pictures of me from a bench.

“It’s just fingers in your hair all the time and ‘Oh, you have such nice black skin,’” Butler said. “It’s never really, ‘What is your name?’”

She recalled a particular conversation she had with the cousin of an ex-boyfriend. After he deemed her “exotic,” Butler told him that German people were also exotic to her. After all, she had never met an ethnic German before her boyfriend.

His response: “Oh, I’m normal.”

Butler and other black women she is friends with in Berlin have learned to evaluate the interest they receive, asking questions that they hope will give them “a gauge of if this guy is thinking of us as a human or just a black woman who represents all black women.” Despite the fraught navigation of being desired versus dehumanized, many women feel their travels were worth it.

“Some of these girls in the States feel like they’re invisible,” Weaver said. “That no one has even seen them, let alone speak to them or flirt with them or even taken the time to try to seduce them.” On her tours, she focuses especially on trying to help dark-skinned black women, who, in a society that scales beauty according to a rigid color spectrum, are least likely of all to be seen as desirable.

“That’s what they get out of it: knowing that they’re beautiful,” Weaver said. “That people find them attractive. It’s not about the actual hook-up, it’s about knowing that you’re pretty. It’s something that a lot of these girls haven’t experienced in a long time, if they’ve ever experienced it, period.”



Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 10:13pm
I stopped reading after

“I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I’m hearing is: You can’t find dates, you can’t find mates, you can’t find husbands.”


Summary though?


Posted By: yurika975
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 10:30pm
I don't think you should I idealise it. Though how many times have aa men said that black women are angry or bitter? Or that they exault the virtues of lighter and white skin? I think it can become fetishism.


Posted By: GoodGirlGoneGr8
Date Posted: Apr 20 2014 at 10:33pm
I think some people mistakenly equate different with better...

Like, if she was from Europe she may say the same about American men. I think it's a phase, the excitement is still new, give it some time grasshopper Taraji.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:06am
Black women going to Europe, Black men going to South America.  Chu gone do? *shrugs*


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:11am
Italy?  They sayin' go to Italy?  I heard that they thing all black women are heaux in Italy.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:22am
Originally posted by iliveforbhm iliveforbhm wrote:

Just say white boys instead of europeans! BITTER BLACK WOMAN SYNDROME!!!


Taraji was right


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:23am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Italy?  They sayin' go to Italy?  I heard that they thing all black women are heaux in Italy.


I hope not Dead

When I was in Italy due to a transfer flight to Ghana, I was stared at a LOT and heavily flirted with by pretty gentlemanly men.

I hope they weren't think of me as a paid service. DeadDeadDeadDead


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:24am
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

BB dun lost her damn mind.


lol i didn't get it at first. I was like wtf did i do?
LOL You do look like you're kind of slow in that picture.







LMAOOOOOOO MARIAH!!!


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:28am
I knew blk girls bein hos in Italy would come up in here 


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:28am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Italy?  They sayin' go to Italy?  I heard that they thing all black women are heaux in Italy.


I hope not Dead

When I was in Italy due to a transfer flight to Ghana, I was stared at a LOT and heavily flirted with by pretty gentlemanly men.

I hope they weren't think of me as a paid service. DeadDeadDeadDead




*shrugs* that's what I read on a few black girl travel sites.  to be careful because most of the african women there are prossies so....


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:30am
I hate it when Negroes put white people on pedestals and sh*t


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:36am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

I stopped reading after

“I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I’m hearing is: You can’t find dates, you can’t find mates, you can’t find husbands.”


Summary though?





go to italy to live the fantasy of getting flirted with.  U might get fetishized....u might not. *shrugs*  At least these men's will make u feel pretty and wanted whereas American men won't.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:37am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Italy?  They sayin' go to Italy?  I heard that they thing all black women are heaux in Italy.


LOL. A lot of them do. Hence the honking while walking down the street. The attention is not always flattering. For others, it's the novelty, the fetish. Italian women do look at you rough though.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:37am
oh that long thing was all about Italy?

I don't think it's just men.. the women there like us too


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:39am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

oh that long thing was all about Italy?

I don't think it's just men.. the women there like us too


About Europe in general. They just mention Italy in a segment. The whole thing is quite simplified imo.


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:41am
Remember this pathetic display....




Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 12:54am
omg.... i cannot believe they were acting happy about that... I feel like that wasn't real.. 
If so I don't think that happens super often 

If that was real they should be ashamed of themselves


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:01am
Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

Remember this pathetic display....







I swear no cape but I thought we were all in agreeance that these "reality" shows were scripted?


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:05am
they're such idiots. the one with bangs looks like a mannequin...ew..
do you know anybody that touches me is getting dropped on the spot?
smh. i hope that was fake...even if it is...ugh.i almost beat up a blind
man for bumpin into me. (i didnt know he was blind at first)LOL


Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:15am
Aren't there "black" Europeans to date?   I would think there would be cultural differences in dating a black European, african American, carribean, or even afrolatino man.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:19am
Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

Remember this pathetic display....




Oh hell no... DeadDeadDeadDeadDeadDead


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:22am
Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Aren't there "black" Europeans to date?   I would think there would be cultural differences in dating a black European, african American, carribean, or even afrolatino man.




Sure.  But that wouldn't be as big as a story.  We'd prefer to think that she went over there for white folks.  After all it's europe.  Ain't no people's of colour over there.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:28am
But the black men in Europe like white women.


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:34am
I honestly think Taraji says that stuff to suck up to White people and get more roles

She has completely covered the writers/producers of Person of Interest for killing her leading role off like the good Negro she is


I like Taraji, I really do but she is playing the Hollywood game


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:42am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

they're such idiots. the one with bangs looks like a mannequin...ew..
do you know anybody that touches me is getting dropped on the spot?
smh. i hope that was fake...even if it is...ugh.i almost beat up a blind
man for bumpin into me. (i didnt know he was blind at first)LOL
You're a terrible human being.LOL


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:59am
#kanyeshrug

somethings just send you into defense mode.


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:01am
For you, a stiff breeze would set you off.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:30am


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:03am
You almost beat up a blind man!!




Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:09am
Cry he came up behind me..my first thought was elbow to the gut, what was i supposed to do?Cry


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 5:53am
Lady Ice is a thuggress


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 10:02am
bye taraji.


Posted By: Majesty02
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 10:27am
....But Taraji's sooo country, loud and typical. I really couldn't imagine her dating anyone else other than an AA. Ermm


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 10:51am
Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

....But Taraji's sooo country, loud and typical. I really couldn't imagine her dating anyone else other than an AA. Ermm
that is also the reason why I thought she meant Black guys from UK!


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 11:32am
she must have forgotten the thousands of black women in europe still looking for a massa


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 11:35am
Told yall she a coonette


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:08pm
There are a lot of "other" men who like Taraji now I've noticed, since her appearance on Person of Interest

She has a whole new fanbase, especially after her kissy-kissy scene with Jim Caviezel
I wouldn't be surprised if she actually is getting a lot of play from the Euros, black or white


Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

....But Taraji's sooo country, loud and typical. I really couldn't imagine her dating anyone else other than an AA. Ermm
that is also the reason why I thought she meant Black guys from UK!


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 1:46pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:


According to Taraji, the men are a lot less “bitter” and “jaded” than guys from the States.

“You know what it is? I think there’s a cultural difference with men from other countries. They are not as bitter and jaded and closed up as a lot of the men here.”

aint this the same thing american (black) men say about non-american (usually white or some kinda exotical) women? (less attitude, bitterness, etc)?


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:08pm
hehe!

but let a nigguh tell it



Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:22pm
I got hit on by blk and white euros.. 
Ijs


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:24pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

This.LOL


Posted By: Majesty02
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 2:56pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

If u bad, you'll get attention wherever u go
*shrug*



Yes! This alllllll day.


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:00pm
may as well say white men.


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:07pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

hehe!

but let a nigguh tell it



whut kinda nigguh? Brit or 'merican?


hehehehe

LOL


Posted By: Majesty02
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:15pm
Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

Sometimes I think black women are more gracious to non black men.  If a black man has a flaw he's the devil.  But any other race is intriguing.  We get so pressed when people make sweeping generalizations about us but I feel the same damn way about our men.  



I especially think this applies to Black men that date IR. They severely lower their standards, and criteria when it comes to dating women of other races. But they expect a black woman to be perfect in every single way when it comes to looks, personality, educational background, and financial status… the list goes on. I have observed on several occasions BM claim they don’t like ghetto, drama, or ratchets…But the minute “Jennifer whitey” acts a little hood, or makes a twerk video they think its soooooo cute, and she gets cool points. But I guarantee if a Black woman acted in the same manner she would be ridiculed.

Truth of the matter is the BM that date IR usually act like a$$holes towards black women for no reason at all. So who's really the bitter one?   


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:41pm
Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

Sometimes I think black women are more gracious to non black men.  If a black man has a flaw he's the devil.  But any other race is intriguing.  We get so pressed when people make sweeping generalizations about us but I feel the same damn way about our men.  



I especially think this applies to Black men that date IR. They severely lower their standards, and criteria when it comes to dating women of other races. But they expect a black woman to be perfect in every single way when it comes to looks, personality, educational background, and financial status… the list goes on. I have observed on several occasions BM claim they don’t like ghetto, drama, or ratchets…But the minute “Jennifer whitey” acts a little hood, or makes a twerk video they think its soooooo cute, and she gets cool points. But I guarantee if a Black woman acted in the same manner she would be ridiculed.

Truth of the matter is the BM that date IR usually act like a$$holes towards black women for no reason at all. So who's really the bitter one?   

both posts are true. Black guy will date white flubber with a mottled face, but do not want a less than perfect black woman (so they say anyway..they dog black women with their friends, but their women are usually no Beyonce)...they aint giving no average girl on the street, at the party etc the time of day though.





Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:50pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

hehe!

but let a nigguh tell it




whut kinda nigguh? Brit or 'merican?


hehehehe

LOL
any kind



Posted By: prettynaturallyme
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:50pm
I think it's ignorant to just assume that she means white men when she says European. My husband is French and is mixed. He is a different breed of a man from those that I have dated in the states and all of his friends are different. Men mature faster overseas and I absolutely agree with what Taraji says. They love black women over there, you just have to be open minded. I lived in France for 2 years and the people and way of life are just overall more cultured than what I have experienced in the states.


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:50pm
There are certain things that matter most to Black men

1. Authenticity
2. Respect
3. Social Value


Social Value comes in the form of who is on their arm. Black men care a lot about how people (their boys, of all races) view them. That's why Black men have so quickly jumped ship when Black women became the apple of modern America's hatred. They don't get brownie points for being with a Black women, quite the contrary. I think a lot of Black men are mentally weak in that way

Social Value isn't really an issue for Black women because women are valued for our beauty and according to the American beauty standard, we are the anti-standard lol

I think being the anti-standard makes a lot of Black women seek validation from "other" men, especially because we're not even receiving it from Black men, seemingly


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:53pm
Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

If u bad, you'll get attention wherever u go
*shrug*



Yes! This alllllll day.
But everybody ain't bad though so what are the not so bad supposed to do?


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:57pm
Why her tiddays bussin' out tho
button downs ain't for all breasteses


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:57pm
Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

There are certain things that matter most to Black men

1. Authenticity
2. Respect
3. Social Value




these apply to any race of man but please.. continue


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 3:58pm
Even if you're bad though.. You're not gonna always get the same attention in one place as the next..


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:06pm
Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

I think it's ignorant to just assume that she means white men when she says European. My husband is French and is mixed. He is a different breed of a man from those that I have dated in the states and all of his friends are different. Men mature faster overseas and I absolutely agree with what Taraji says. They love black women over there, you just have to be open minded. I lived in France for 2 years and the people and way of life are just overall more cultured than what I have experienced in the states.
but isnt this more a reflection of the lifestyle and expected norms in europe vs america?

u wouldnt necessarily say european men are more cultured than american men, they just behave within their societal norms

i mean without shade to anyone, what exactly is "american culture"? furthermore, what exactly is AA culture or what little of it is left after it was stripped away from them as a means to dehumanise them?

i also wouldnt say european men mature faster.. lol european men are notorious for being mummy's lads





Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:09pm
culture also has a lot o do with access!


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:13pm
do you booboo
 
but european men who don't have the skinhead vibe seem gay to me
 
i'd rather just start dating women tbh


Posted By: prettynaturallyme
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:15pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

I think it's ignorant to just assume that she means white men when she says European. My husband is French and is mixed. He is a different breed of a man from those that I have dated in the states and all of his friends are different. Men mature faster overseas and I absolutely agree with what Taraji says. They love black women over there, you just have to be open minded. I lived in France for 2 years and the people and way of life are just overall more cultured than what I have experienced in the states.
but isnt this more a reflection of the lifestyle and expected norms in europe vs america?

u wouldnt necessarily say european men are more cultured than american men, they just behave within their societal norms

i mean without shade to anyone, what exactly is "american culture"? furthermore, what exactly is AA culture or what little of it is left after it was stripped away from them as a means to dehumanise them?

i also wouldnt say european men mature faster.. lol european men are notorious for being mummy's lads





I agree. But their societal norms are overall better than who/what I experienced in the states. You're absolutely right about America lacking culture and that is something that I realized while living in Europe. Lol @mummy's lads lol! I have to agree with that also but I corrected that quickly. But by maturity I meant mentally and responsibility wise. Just speaking based on my experience.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:20pm
i think the social welfare system is much better doc, thus saves a lot of people from the destitute hole


Posted By: prettynaturallyme
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:20pm
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

do you booboo
 

but european men who don't have the skinhead vibe seem gay to me

 

i'd rather just start dating women tbh


This goes back to what I said about being open minded. Just bc they don't walk around with pants sagging, doesn't make them gay. But to each his own.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:22pm
If they are originally from Africa (moved to Europe) are they considered black European?


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:23pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

I think it's ignorant to just assume that she means white men when she says European. My husband is French and is mixed. He is a different breed of a man from those that I have dated in the states and all of his friends are different. Men mature faster overseas and I absolutely agree with what Taraji says. They love black women over there, you just have to be open minded. I lived in France for 2 years and the people and way of life are just overall more cultured than what I have experienced in the states.
 


but isnt this more a reflection of the lifestyle and expected norms in europe vs america?



thats all it is IMO


Posted By: Majesty02
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:23pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Even if you're bad though.. You're not gonna always get the same attention in one place as the next..



Yes, but if your attractive you'll still get some form of attention regardless of geographic location. Maybe not the exact same amount, but it'll still be something.


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:23pm
The Black French (many from French oversea regions like Martinique and Guadeloupe) are just.... sigh... sexy





Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Apr 21 2014 at 4:25pm
I think people need to travel more!! seriously!



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