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Helpl!!! my leave out is relaxed!!!

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Natural Hair Care
Forum Name: Natural Hair Care
Forum Description: General Discussions on Natural Hair Care
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=369836
Printed Date: Aug 19 2019 at 5:36am


Topic: Helpl!!! my leave out is relaxed!!!
Posted By: AudreyBall
Subject: Helpl!!! my leave out is relaxed!!!
Date Posted: Apr 08 2014 at 8:19pm
I have been natural since June 2013 & I did my big chop in August. But i was unhappy with my appearance as a natural girl with a TWA. Sooooooo, I went back to wearing my sew ins in December. Because of the humidity in the air (Florida girl), my hair wouldn't lay down flat-ironed. I then committed the crime of a lifetime. I RELAXED MY LEAVE OUT! Big mistake! Now that my hair is a little longer and I am comfortable with the length,I can't find any styles to do to my hair because of this big straight part down the middle of my head. I'm not ready to chop that part because then i would be back to my really TWA when I first chopped! Any suggestions?



Replies:
Posted By: pinkecube
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 12:57pm
Wow. I dont want to add salt to the wound but just reading this was making me pissed off. I'm not gonna sugarcoat the ridiculousness of this situation and coo you, I'm about to scold.  There are first of all many options you could have chosen. You could have chosen a wig that matched your hair texture, you could have worn a lace front. You could have even worn braids or even gotten a wig that was prebraided and braided the hair in the front to match. But you chose to relax part of your hair? Confused

And it occured to you to reach out now, but what are we supposed to do? Why didnt you reach out before about how to deal with your twa? There are support groups for that in many places online and advice. You couldve looked or asked online and researched wigs of afro texture, or anything to deal with your hair that wasnt so sacrificial.

This is why i dont understand the extent that was taken here just to make a temporary hair peice look good, and most of all why you are even surprised now. what did you think was going to happen when you took off your weave? You didnt think clearly about what it was you were doing before you did it and the ending consequence? I see this all the time people treating their hair like its some kind of wig rack, off handedly destroying their hair for the sake of their temporary european look. just like those ppl who glue their own hair to their weave, what i am reading is making no sense.

Honestly the only advice i can give is to learn from this experience as much as you can, and do transition styles while you grow the relaxed part out. There are many set styles you can do that can make the texture at least somewhat match. or you can protective style. You are going to have to accept what you did to your hair and work with it the way it is now. Next time before you do something irreversible, try to use your common sense.  Cry


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 1:06pm
Grow it out you can wear puffs/buns and twist/braid outs.


Posted By: Journey94
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 3:20pm
I'll be happy when black women stop buying fine silky chinese & Indian hair then trying to blend it by frying the hell out of it. There is weave that is permed/processed to match closely to our blow dried hair texture. You shouldn't have been trying to blend your hair with the weave, the weave should blend with your hair.

I have no advice but to grow it out, nothing else you can do. Sorry but that was the dumbest sh*t ever, why would you relax a section of your hair and not your whole head? And your natural hair wasn't laying down because you refused to properly condition & moisturize you probably just threw on some heat protectant or polisher on some brittle dry hair and expected it to lay.


Posted By: LadyAradia
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 4:15pm
You may as well relax the  rest of it now so you can do something with your natural hair without having to wear a weave.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 4:24pm
Maybe the op is young in highschool ? I would flat twist the relax sections until it grows out . Make sure you are ready to tex or relax your entire head . HTH 


Posted By: iBetYouhNvNika
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 4:30pm
I get being passionate about your hair but sometimes you guys go WAY overboard....



Op, you can try to transition that leave out. Trim off the ends slowly. Make sure to be really gentle with that area! Do bantu knots out to give it texture to match your hair. Also try to wear a side part or an off center part.


Posted By: aharri23
Date Posted: Apr 09 2014 at 4:50pm
LOL yall went in on the OP. Im dying over here


Posted By: nebhnebh
Date Posted: Apr 10 2014 at 1:51pm
Start something new, wear the relaxed part in a braid or flat twist while wearing your natural hair out.  Wear your hair in protective styles that may help the relaxed part blend in better or roll your hair on perm rods to achieve an all over curly look.
 
No matter what you do be prepared to be patient with the relaxed hair until you have enough new growth to cut.  Have you considered using a kinky weave on the relaxed area?


Posted By: 510QUEEN
Date Posted: Apr 10 2014 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by aharri23 aharri23 wrote:

LOL yall went in on the OP. Im dying over here


girl ok, Im like I wish a chick would come at me like that LOL  see i can not with BHM sometimes


Posted By: vjordan82
Date Posted: May 09 2014 at 4:34pm
Pinkecube:

NOBODY wants to feel stupid, or insignificant, or unworthy and that’s exactly how you sound. She is on here asking for advice, the damages is already done! What is the point of belittling her or Scolding her? It won’t bring her natural texture back!

Andreyball:

The best thing you can do is start over from scratch with your leave out. If you decide to wear weave choose one that is close to you natural curl pattern, and when not in a weave try not to straighten and cut the perm as it grows out. If you decide to wear natural hair style, just with pin the front back. It will grow back before you know it


Posted By: pinkecube
Date Posted: May 09 2014 at 5:11pm
Originally posted by vjordan82 vjordan82 wrote:

Pinkecube:

NOBODY wants to feel stupid, or insignificant, or unworthy and that’s exactly how you sound. She is on here asking for advice, the damages is already done! What is the point of belittling her or Scolding her? It won’t bring her natural texture back!


My comment wasn't in negative intent and make her feel insignificant, it was to give her advice. I don't think there is anything wrong with constructive criticism. If you don't want to hear what you did wrong, then you won't get the most out of your advice.

Despite the "damage being done" she needed to know that the irreversible extent that she took wasn't necessary in the first place, and what she could have done alternatively. Even if it won't change the situation, as least she learned from her mistake and knows what to do next time she feels like she can't wear her hair.

Still sorry vjordan82 if the way i worded that post it was offensive or too blunt. Hopefully you were able to take something helpful out of my advice.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: May 09 2014 at 6:18pm
OP follow Pinkcubes thread on max hydration and start wearing half wigs. After the 1st 2 weeks of the method your edges will be slick. Just brush your hair back and use edge control and rock a half wig. That's what I'm doing and you can't tell me nuffin when I'm walking down the street. Feeling like Diana Ross. Mind you I only rock textured hair and wigs. kinky curl, kinky straight, Italian Yaki those type of textures.

I found this site when my hair was damaged and hanging by a thread also. So I know how OP feels. Its never too late to learn.Hug Just slowly step away from the chemicals and the flat iron for the next 10 years. Your hair will grow much faster without it.


Posted By: Petiteagneau
Date Posted: May 11 2014 at 4:08pm
Ridiculous people are mad about your own hair.

You should transition it using small perm rods to match your texture. Try braid outs, buns, etc. You can try blunt bangs and bun the rest of you hair since it is already straight. There are many styling options. Just stop relaxing and work with what you have. You probably notice way more than anyone else will.


Posted By: loveyessie
Date Posted: May 12 2014 at 8:12am
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

OP follow Pinkcubes thread on max hydration and start wearing half wigs. After the 1st 2 weeks of the method your edges will be slick. Just brush your hair back and use edge control and rock a half wig. That's what I'm doing and you can't tell me nuffin when I'm walking down the street. Feeling like Diana Ross. Mind you I only rock textured hair and wigs. kinky curl, kinky straight, Italian Yaki those type of textures.

I found this site when my hair was damaged and hanging by a thread also. So I know how OP feels. Its never too late to learn.Hug Just slowly step away from the chemicals and the flat iron for the next 10 years. Your hair will grow much faster without it.


Most people find BHM when their hair is in need of desperate attention. I know I did as well. Hopefully the OP can find some helpful tips within the thread and overlook the childish comments.



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