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The Reason Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating

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Printed Date: Sep 24 2018 at 10:16pm


Topic: The Reason Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating
Posted By: PurplePhase
Subject: The Reason Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:00pm

Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating?

If you’re anything like most men, you’ve probably had your share of bad dates. I’ve been there as well. There have been times when I thought a date is going really well, but it actually ended up quite the opposite of what I expected.

However, all of this changed when I found out that I’d been doing something that was quickly turning women off. I was being too nice.

Now while I am not saying that you should completely do away with being nice, overdoing it can lead to your date to thinking that you’re faking the whole thing.

Let me explain what I mean…

During my extensive research into the female psychology, I found out that a reaction in a woman’s brain occurs when she feels that a guy is being too nice. Instead of warming up to him, an alarm goes off in the brain that tells her that she isn’t safe with him.

Based on a study conducted by the Kasper Loscalzo Institute of Psychology, a woman’s brain releases “feel good” hormones like serotonin and oxytocin when she feels that a guy is being nice to her.

On the other hand, if a woman feels that a man is simply too nice to the point that she thinks it is too good to be true, these happy hormones disappear and get replaced with cortisol, a stress hormone.

Cortisol induces effects in the body that are the exact opposite of feeling good. Besides raising a woman’s blood pressure levels, this hormone also causes bouts of anxiety, confusion and even fear.

So instead of establishing a connection with your date, you will only end up making her feel that she has to get away from you. And that’s not the result you want, is it? Unfortunately, this is the only effect you’ll get when you make your date feel when you are too nice.

Moreover, the researchers gathered that besides making a woman feel distrustful of a guy who’s overly trying to project himself as Mr. Nice Guy, she will also think something horrible could happen because cortisol also stimulates unpleasant thoughts.

(Cortisol can also make it really tough for a woman to get http://adviceforhim.com/2014/03/18/so-youre-having-a-tough-time-getting-her-wet/" rel="nofollow - sufficiently wet during sex.)

So the next time you’re going on a date, keep in mind that being too nice won’t lead to something good. It will only cut your date much shorter than you planned.




Replies:
Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:09pm
In some cases yes.....


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:12pm
I found that interesting too.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:24pm
The problem isn't being "too nice". The problem is that the goal of the date is to "finish first" and "win" something, usually something sexual. (Otherwise, there was absolutely no reason to be worried about her wanting to "get away from you" and bringing up that high cortisol levels impede female lubrication.)

Men might want to try going into the date with their only goal being meeting an interesting new person and hopefully having a good meal, a few laughs, and some nice conversation.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:50pm
Explains why women ain't nothing but....can't finish it on bhm but you get the gist. Ain't no such good thing as a good woman but a good man there is!


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:55pm
is that a bogus study too?
I 'd never heard the cortisol/stress hormone part before but that made perfect sense to me.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:56pm
Sex is dope why pass it up? I only mess with skeezers so don't worry Im not gonna holla at you who desire to be married with a picket fence and children.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 5:58pm
I thought he mentioned getting wet  just because there  was also an article on that and cortisol lol. I didn't think he was referring to getting wet on the first date; tho some do ;-).


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 6:01pm
I married a nice guy . We need more to actually think with the first brain  . I only read a few lines .


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 6:10pm
lol

ok another Purple sucky thread


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 6:15pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


that is why the women you deal with ain't sh*t though



I'm not marriage material.

I hate feeling stuck to anything and I'm not a persevering those unless my life is on the line.


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 6:37pm
He is over thinking this too too much.  Many of these nice guys really aren't as a great a catch as they are purported to be.  The last "nice guy" somebody set me up with was a walking train wreck **shudders**


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:23pm
And they try too hard....


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:41pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

The problem isn't being "too nice". The problem is that the goal of the date is to "finish first" and "win" something, usually something sexual. (Otherwise, there was absolutely no reason to be worried about her wanting to "get away from you" and bringing up that high cortisol levels impede female lubrication.)

Men might want to try going into the date with their only goal being meeting an interesting new person and hopefully having a good meal, a few laughs, and some nice conversation.

Thats great and all… but you forgot to mention the >>Dutch<< part.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:43pm
Yeah people dont value people pleasing as much it makes them seem untrustworthy or dangerous when it could be really noble.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:44pm
Most "nice guys" are ugly so of course they have to be nice. You can't be mean and ugly



Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:48pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Most "nice guys" are ugly so of course they have to be nice. You can't be mean and ugly



Shiiiiiiid......I see mean fugly chicks everyday...


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:52pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Most "nice guys" are ugly so of course they have to be nice. You can't be mean and ugly



Shiiiiiiid......I see mean fugly chicks everyday...


True true lol


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 7:52pm
Most guys that constantly call themselves 'Nice Guys' are actually self absorbed, passive aggressive creeps.

"You dont want to fuk on the first date? You dont want my hand on your lap within seconds of meeting?  Why not, I am a really nice guyBig smileBig smileBig smile?"

The guys that are genuinely nice that I know are not walking around categorizing themselves and trying to force their 'nice' image on people.


Posted By: keepgrowing
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


being a people pleaser isn't really a good thing
 at all


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:01pm
you gotta have something else to offer besides being nice

big dick, good teeth, something


Posted By: Bonjour baby ooowee
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

you gotta have something else to offer besides being nice

big dick,  good teeth, something



Wink  FuN to be around with a likes to please me dispostion / huge wealth doesn't hurt either / not stuck on himself & more  yes ... yes huntyLOL


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:38pm
The "nice guy" someone tried to set me up with completely put me off to nice guys.  Fude was awkward, clumsy, broke, not hot AT ALL, had an inheritable illness, living off his helicopter mama...waiting for her to die so he would inherit all her money.  The people who tried to set me up with him insisted I was being picky and stuck up...as if asking for confidence in a dude is too much to ask. Ermm


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:50pm
When I was a kid, my older sis had 2  suitors and I remember she told me that she preferred the one who wasn't so nice. When I asked her why she broke up with the first guy/nice guy, she said he was just too nice; that he would do anything she wanted; never said no. She chose/married the 'bad boy.'

as a 7 year old, I didn't get it.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 8:59pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Most guys that constantly call themselves 'Nice Guys' are actually self absorbed, passive aggressive creeps.

"You dont want to fuk on the first date? You dont want my hand on your lap within seconds of meeting?  Why not, I am a really nice guyBig smileBig smileBig smile?"

The guys that are genuinely nice that I know are not walking around categorizing themselves and trying to force their 'nice' image on people.


I can't even troll this, you're right!


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 9:48pm
Most nice guys are low key jerks.


Posted By: nala52808
Date Posted: Apr 02 2014 at 9:57pm
I see myself marrying a nice guy. I mean, who wouldn't want a man who does everything you say and treats you like a queen?Big smile The guys I do avoid and feel stressed out by are the ones who over compliment and flatter. It makes me feel uncomfortable when they go on and on about how pretty you are and blah blah blah. Its like, I already know his intentions and they are not good. Basically he just wants my poosie and that's it.Ermm I think woman want genuine men with good motives and if you give them any reason to get suspicious then we will escape the situation and dont try to ever call them again whether you are a "bad" or "nice" guy



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