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What would you do if your son wanted to be a girl?

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Printed Date: Oct 15 2018 at 12:01pm


Topic: What would you do if your son wanted to be a girl?
Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Subject: What would you do if your son wanted to be a girl?
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:52pm
If your son, at 5 started to form an interest in dresses, dolls and traditionally "girly" things, how would you react? 

If he later told you that he liked boys and felt he was a girl (while he was still young...lets say 7 years old) would you view him as confused due to his young age or support his feelings and let him dress as a girl and do what he wanted? 

I saw an article where this black mom lets her little boy dress as a girl and stuff so it just sparked my interest. Thoughts?



Replies:
Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:56pm
Let him be herself.....and def get him into some therapy.....not to change his mind, but to make sure he truly feels this way.....


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:57pm
take him to a seasoned professional


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:58pm
I'd do the right thing but while doing so, I would secretly be drinking heavily.LOL


Posted By: juniper angel
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:59pm
Man no just no


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:00pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I'd do the right thing but while doing so, I would secretly be drinking heavily.LOL
Oh yes...because it's gonna be a looooooooong road.Beer


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:01pm
Cry


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:03pm
There's worse things to aspire to be.

I'd probably focus on loving him and making sure he loves himself.

I might have to share a bottle with CC every now and then tho.


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:03pm
beat his ass till he turns straight, or threaten to send him to haiti, what else ?


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:07pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I'd do the right thing but while doing so, I would secretly be drinking heavily.LOL


LOL yep. 


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:09pm
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

beat his ass till he turns straight, or threaten to send him to haiti, what else ?


LOL...man i got threaten to be sent to haiti so many times as child. that's all i needed to act right. 






Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:11pm
In no particular order - Hug Him, Panic, Crack up, Fail to comprehend his words, Love him, Help him, accept him.

Won't be doing - Tell Dad for at least three days


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:20pm
I wouldn't allow him to indulge in his feminine desires.  Make him hang out with his MMA fighting, bear wrestling grizzly adams-esque father...who kills our own food, and makes our households' leather from the skins of wolves he killed with his man hands...mmm testoterone...


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:34pm
i would ask him why can't he just be gayUnhappy
the world ain't safe for women and you wanna be a girl? lil  nig.ga you MUST be trippin'


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:41pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

i would ask him why can't he just be gayUnhappy
the world ain't safe for women and you wanna be a girl? lil  nig.ga you MUST be trippin'


This


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:44pm
Jesus,

waiting on sangs replyLOL


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:44pm
Umm no ma'am. I would lose it.


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:47pm

Take him dress shopping. (to establish trust and confidence that I got his back)

Hide the dresses from his dad. 

Get counseling for the entire family. Pops and I need to be well equipped to handle this in a manner that won't scar him for life. He's already in for one hell of a ride.

The guy I'm dating now.... he wouldn't be able to relate to his son :( 
He would try but I know he would be gravely disappointed. 



Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:01pm
be mad as fck. forever.


Posted By: nala52808
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:06pm
He can be gay if he wanna be, but if I see him wearing skirts, trying to emulate that gay lisp accent, or twirling in my house, he will get kicked out.Thats just the way it is. I dont need all that extra stuff


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:11pm
I'm sure there is a doctor out there with the medication to help this serious mental fart go away. Hopefully, I will have the money to be able to afford it.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:11pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

He can be gay if he wanna be, but if I see him wearing skirts, trying to emulate that gay lisp accent, or twirling in my house, he will get kicked out.Thats just the way it is. I dont need all that extra stuff

Dead


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:24pm
girls also wear pants...i mean...lil dude can still wear pants in my home


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:26pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


yeah he's not wearing a dress until he is a teen

say what you want about that


Yeah... not at 7

Like epitome said, this world aint safe for a girl child..therapy to make sure/try to prepare


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:32pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I'd do the right thing but while doing so, I would secretly be drinking heavily.LOL


^^^ this LOL

cc, I love you so hard LOLLOLCryLOLLOL


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:35pm
one of my nephews was like that. still is kinda but he is always drawn to tutus and sparkly things and dance moms. we try to get him interested in boyish stuff but he half asses it. we give him a little room for the slight feminine stuff but not too much. 

im cool with the gays but i won't be contributing to a child wanting to change genders. nope. 

my typos been off the chain lately lol


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

He can be gay if he wanna be, but if I see him wearing skirts, trying to emulate that gay lisp accent, or twirling in my house, he will get kicked out.Thats just the way it is. I dont need all that extra stuff
You'd kick out a child for being effeminate? 




Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:52pm
wrong thread


Posted By: nala52808
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:59pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

He can be gay if he wanna be, but if I see him wearing skirts, trying to emulate that gay lisp accent, or twirling in my house, he will get kicked out.Thats just the way it is. I dont need all that extra stuff
You'd kick out a child for being effeminate? 



Would it make me evil if I say yes? When I raise my children, they will know the rules of my home. If he cant wait till he's 18 and out of my house to wear dresses and whatever the hell else then he better start calling his Grandma to go live with her because it will not happen in my house


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:03pm
He'd be in therapy heavy.
If his mental illness is too heavy I might have to send him away.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:11pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

He'd be in therapy heavy.
If his mental illness is too heavy I might have to send him away.

will u marry me


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:19pm
Blah....I have 5 boys and the oldest ones have played dress up with their cousins, who are girls, but they are the roughest toughest boys even in a dress lol.

I will support my kids with whatever decision as long as it's not going to land them in prison. My second oldest actually use to tell me he wanted to dress as a girl, not be one just dress like one, when he grew up. I told him okay but there are very mean people out in the world who could try to hurt him and will call him names. He said "ok I will only dress up at home then" it's been a year since he said that and now he no longer wants to do it. I guess it was just a phase for him but if not I will still support him, his father on the other hand has an issue (not surprising) but I told him don't worry we will cross that bridge if and when we need to.

My nephew is 3 now and he swears he is suppose to be a girl, when my sister tells him he is a handsome little boy he gets mad and says no he is a pretty girl. He steals his sisters clothes and wears them around the house, he has 3 sisters so it might just be a phase. When I see him though I think he may just end up wanting to be a girl for real and I laugh at his stupid dad who always wanted to run his mouth about my sons vs his son.


Posted By: Marcelo22
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:23pm
Originally posted by reesegurl11 reesegurl11 wrote:

Blah....I have 5 boys and the oldest ones have played dress up with their cousins, who are girls, but they are the roughest toughest boys even in a dress lol.

I will support my kids with whatever decision as long as it's not going to land them in prison. My second oldest actually use to tell me he wanted to dress as a girl, not be one just dress like one, when he grew up. I told him okay but there are very mean people out in the world who could try to hurt him and will call him names. He said "ok I will only dress up at home then" it's been a year since he said that and now he no longer wants to do it. I guess it was just a phase for him but if not I will still support him, his father on the other hand has an issue (not surprising) but I told him don't worry we will cross that bridge if and when we need to.

My nephew is 3 now and he swears he is suppose to be a girl, when my sister tells him he is a handsome little boy he gets mad and says no he is a pretty girl. He steals his sisters clothes and wears them around the house, he has 3 sisters so it might just be a phase. When I see him though I think he may just end up wanting to be a girl for real and I laugh at his stupid dad who always wanted to run his mouth about my sons vs his son.

Raise those boys right!!!

Too much damn dress up and boys in your family wanting to dress as a girl or being a girl!!! 


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:24pm
They are raised just fine I give two toots to anyone who has a problem with it so to you sir toot toot!


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:27pm
So dresses are for women only then? It's a piece of fabric...

What if he likes the color pink? Is that like....a no no because blue is for boys? 

Being a transgender isn't a mental disorder. 


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:29pm
Oh and I do not think for one second a dress on a boy is going to turn him gay lol I truly believe you are born that way so forcing him to be and only do boy things is not going to change who he is on the inside.


Posted By: nala52808
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:36pm
I my son was born in scotland or ireland, I would let him prance around in a skirt/kilt. But being that this is america and men do not normally carry on with their day to day activities in one, he will not either. When it comes to the color pink, he can rock that evryday if he wants to, just as long as its not a DRESS or a SKIRT


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:38pm
Reese....5 boys?!
I'd be pissed.



Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Reese....5 boys?!
I'd be pissed.



Pissed? Why?

I have a girl too


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

I my son was born in scotland or ireland, I would let him prance around in a skirt/kilt. But being that this is america and men do not normally carry on with their day to day activities in one, he will not either. When it comes to the color pink, he can rock that evryday if he wants to, just as long as its not a DRESS or a SKIRT
Like this. LOL




Posted By: nala52808
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 3:47pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

I my son was born in scotland or ireland, I would let him prance around in a skirt/kilt. But being that this is america and men do not normally carry on with their day to day activities in one, he will not either. When it comes to the color pink, he can rock that evryday if he wants to, just as long as its not a DRESS or a SKIRT
Like this. LOL


LOLLOLLOL Hell yes, but with a better fitting jacket and a cuter man purse


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:10pm
The moment he started showing interest in girly stuff, I would end that asap.
If at 15 he told me he were gay, that's one thing. At 7? No, you are too young to know what you really want. I don't want my son "experimenting" at 12, and then at 18 he is smoking meth to forget his gay moments at an young age.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:13pm
Originally posted by reesegurl11 reesegurl11 wrote:



My nephew is 3 now and he swears he is suppose to be a girl, when my sister tells him he is a handsome little boy he gets mad and says no he is a pretty girl. He steals his sisters clothes and wears them around the house, he has 3 sisters so it might just be a phase. When I see him though I think he may just end up wanting to be a girl for real and I laugh at his stupid dad who always wanted to run his mouth about my sons vs his son.



perhaps your sister's house is "too pink"? I mean girly stuff is easier to find and looks prettier than boy stuff. Maybe if your nephew spent more time with his male cousins, his interest in girly stuff would end - have you guys tried that? Did he keep his interest in female stuff?


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:14pm
Originally posted by reesegurl11 reesegurl11 wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Reese....5 boys?!
I'd be pissed.



Pissed? Why?

I have a girl too

So many groceries and stiff towels. 


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:23pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by reesegurl11 reesegurl11 wrote:



My nephew is 3 now and he swears he is suppose to be a girl, when my sister tells him he is a handsome little boy he gets mad and says no he is a pretty girl. He steals his sisters clothes and wears them around the house, he has 3 sisters so it might just be a phase. When I see him though I think he may just end up wanting to be a girl for real and I laugh at his stupid dad who always wanted to run his mouth about my sons vs his son.



perhaps your sister's house is "too pink"? I mean girly stuff is easier to find and looks prettier than boy stuff. Maybe if your nephew spent more time with his male cousins, his interest in girly stuff would end - have you guys tried that? Did he keep his interest in female stuff?


Actually the middle child is a girl and she is a tomboy and the youngest is a girl and wants to play more with boy toys so there is not a lot of girly stuff aside from the middle ones dress up clothes which is NOT the clothes he wants to wear, he wants there actual everyday clothes. He use to play with my boys but they don't come around much due to stupid family drama. I do not think that the girls are influencing him in any way since they are such tomboys.


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:24pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Originally posted by reesegurl11 reesegurl11 wrote:

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Reese....5 boys?!
I'd be pissed.



Pissed? Why?

I have a girl too


So many groceries and stiff towels. 




Yes they can eat like no other and they grow out their clothes so dang fast!


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 4:29pm
I'd seek counseling from a qualified doctor before making any decisions. But my gut tells me I prolly wouldn't allow him to dress like a girl until he's a teenager and has had counseling himself.


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 5:19pm
Yeah. No. I draw the line when it comes to my kids. Say what you will. You can have your sons dressing in pink tutus in kindergarten.

Not mine!


Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 5:23pm
I feel like you have to love them regardless. Its nothing like feeling like you have no one to support your feelings or choices. HOWEVER He has to have learned it somewhere so I need to find the source. I would talk to him and find out the deep rooted reason why he feels this way. Some of these mothers need to have their boys in boy activities if there is no male role model around. Put him in activities with other little boys who are doing boy things.


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 6:59pm
I would sit him down and explain human anatomy and biology to my son (penis = male and vagina = female).

Where do you draw the line between a kid playing around vs struggling with sexual identity issues?

I have a relative who, when he was a boy, would play around in his sister's skirts because he liked the way the fabric billowed around him when he twirled  and his parents didn't mind (and he grew to be a well-adjusted male without any sexual identity issues)

I DO have an issue with some of the gender roles we teach boys/girls (the idea that if you are a girl, then you have to like everything princess and pink, and if you are a boy, you MUST to like sports, hot wheels, etc. = very limiting and narrow minded)


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 7:04pm
Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

I would sit him down and explain human anatomy and biology to my son (penis = male and vagina = female).

As far as playing with dolls, liking dresses, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it and would see it as a phase/playing around.

I have a relative who, when he was a boy, would play around in his sister's skirts because he liked the way the fabric billowed around him when he twirled  and his parents didn't mind (and he grew to be a well-adjusted male without any sexual identity issues)

I DO have an issue with some of the gender roles we teach boys/girls (the idea that if you are a girl, then you have to like everything princess and pink, and if you are a boy, you MUST to like sports, hot wheels, etc. = very limiting and narrow minded)

Meh, I understand your point, but if a man got his penis shopped off in a horrible accident, is he know longer a man? 
 I would rather my son still be my son. Dress like a traditional American male. Be gay or bi, but I don't do the flamboyants stuff, unless he dresses fierce. No drag queen stuff either. Sue me!


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:14pm
He could have and wear whatever girly things he wanted besides a dress that would have to wait till he's old enough to handle it.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:16pm
Love and support him.
He'd have too much opposition elsewhere he wouldn't get it from me.


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:18pm
At 5 NO he can play with a purse and other things in the house & when I think hes old enough to handle the pressures of being different he will be able to express himself anyway he sees fit.


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:18pm
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Meh, I understand your point, but if a man got his penis shopped off in a horrible accident, is he know longer a man? 
 I would rather my son still be my son. Dress like a traditional American male. Be gay or bi, but I don't do the flamboyants stuff, unless he dresses fierce. No drag queen stuff either. Sue me!

Said accident wouldn't change the fact that he original was born with a penis, so he would still be a male. 

Yeah, there are certain things that I wouldn't allow my son/daughter to do either (I don't believe ALL gender roles are bad, but I do disagree with some). For example, I wouldn't allow my son to leave the house dressed like this:



I guess where every parent draws the line is different. 


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:24pm


Parents are supposed to offer guidance to children not confuse them even MORE! This is a stupid and sick trend! I hate some people... these mothers and fathers need HELP! I think they are abusing there children


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:24pm
My heart goes out to ppl in these situations.
I wouldn't be OK with it but my son would never know it.

Typically boys don't want to wear dresses I wouldn't think it's a phase I would think it's real.
HHe'd sit down with someone after that if he feels too uncomfortable and restricted I'd let him wear a dress and all that.
I'd want him to feel comfortable and loved.

But there is a fine line between setting a comfortable environment and coddling but honestly I'd be so afraid I wouldn't care id let him wear it and no one around me better talk about him around me.

Suicide rates in that community are so high


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:28pm
If anyone here has ever studied Child development Gender-roles are quite common issues for human children learn by large gender-roles are socialized, therefore if you start to encourage your son to id as a female I think there is something wrong with you as a parent!!!


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:33pm
OK say after you attempt to establish norms are established and he still rejects those.. Then what. I don't think all of these are just social instructions.
Gender as a social construct is a theory but doesn't make it 100 percent fact there are lots of theories about gender roles and our affinity towards them by nature.
If your son wants to identify as a girl what can you really do.



Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:39pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

be mad as fck. forever.
i have several replies...but i'll just roll with this.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:40pm
I don't think what Angelinas daughter is doing is standard fare.

I know ppl will say they were tomboys but really to that extent?

Nah that little girl probably has natural inclinations


Posted By: mzsophisticated
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:43pm

have a talk and counseling...but its not really what I would do..lawd my hubby



Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:47pm
Send him to live with My Mom...


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:47pm
I keep thinking about this.
I'm definitely not ready to be a parent.

I know of someone who might be in this situation.
She tries to correct her son but you can just tell.. I don't think it's just a phase either.
You can tell that she is stressed and wants him to just do the typical things that other little boys do.

I don't know her well though


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 8:58pm

A mother that wants a girl in that photo ? SMH .... Not in my home /public at such a young age . I would pray and seek professional help if it became a serious issue at 5 years old . No way i would allow my  toddler boy to wear a dress. I would support a Gay adult child . My husband would die . My daughter use to love spiderman and all boy toys until the age of 3 . Now she can't get enough girly things .



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 9:09pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

If anyone here has ever studied Child development Gender-roles are quite common issues for human children learn by large gender-roles are socialized, therefore if you start to encourage your son to id as a female I think there is something wrong with you as a parent!!!

Makes no sense when siblings growing up in the same environment end up so different...not even in regard to something this extreme, but literally polar opposite personalities...some excel, some are lazy, some are mean, some are nice, feminine, tomboys, etc... That is the norm.  So with no abuse or major traumas present, if one child becomes transgender and the others go on to live the average hetero lifestyle then what?


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 9:19pm
No one can have exactly the same experiances, All I am saying is parents transmit to their children their view of the world, their own personal concepts of life they shape us mold us and limit us in some cases.. in any household the way sexuality is developed has factors- its not just random


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 9:24pm
if he wants to be a girl, he's gonna be the best dressed girl everrrr

Hair on point. Clothes on point. Everything is point!! You aint gonna look a mess on my time!!! Stern Smile

Nothing worse than a boy in drag lookin ugly as hell.


edit: typos....fck it


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 9:47pm
Wellllll.....how folks run their house is their business, but I hope no one would disown their flesh and blood due to their gender identity. 

Girls can show an interest in sports and they are considered a "tomboy"....a boy shows an interest in "girly things" and now it's a problem? Do some of yall have a problem with your little man crying, too? 

There are no longer any reputable psychiatrists that would co-sign that encouraging a child to identify (gender wise) as they feel to be a bad thing. Being a transgender is not a mental illness. These people just repress their feelings and a lot end up committing suicide. Sooooooo, if your son killing himself is worth it to you, just so you don't have to deal with your personal antiquated ideas of your child identifying as a girl, than that's something you will have to deal with. 

But yes, encouraging a child to repress their gender identity is bad parenting

I'd agree if people were saying "I don't want him to be in a dress because I dont want him to be bullied" but to say "I dont want him to identify as a girl....just cause I don't like it" is selfish as hell. It's not about you. It's about your child's psyche. Let's say being a transgender was a mental illness....it would be awful if it was met with such an in-compassionate response....from a parent. If your child comes to you and says "Mommy, I have a penis, but I feel like I am a girl and I like dresses and boys" please believe they are going through much more internal turmoil and confusion than you, as the parent, ever could. They live in a world where they will forever be viewed as either crazy, freaks, sexual deviants, or sinners....but folks worried about dresses

I applaud that woman and her husband....maybe the reason they are okay with their son identifying and dressing like he wants is because they did the research and don't want him to be another statistic. They actually love him....differences and all. 

It also doesn't help that out of the LGBTQ community and overwhelming amount of those that face the most violence and hatred are transgenders of color. That's kinda telling.......

Don't have kids if you don't think that you can love them unconditionally for who they are. 


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:17pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Wellllll.....h<span style="line-height: 1.4;">ow folks run their house is their business, but I hope no one would disown their flesh and blood due to their gender identity. </span>

Girls can show an interest in sports and they are considered a "tomboy"....a boy shows an interest in "girly things" and now it's a problem? Do some of yall have a problem with your little man crying, too? 

There are no longer any reputable psychiatrists that would co-sign that encouraging a child to identify (gender wise) as they feel to be a bad thing. Being a transgender is not a mental illness. These people just repress their feelings and a lot end up committing suicide. Sooooooo, if your son killing himself is worth it to you, just so you don't have to deal with your personal antiquated ideas of your child identifying as a girl, than that's something you will have to deal with. 

But yes, encouraging a child to repress their gender identity is bad parenting

I'd agree if people were saying "I don't want him to be in a dress because I dont want him to be bullied" but to say "I dont want him to identify as a girl....just cause I don't like it" is selfish as hell. It's not about you. It's about your child's psyche. Let's say being a transgender was a mental illness....it would be awful if it was met with such an in-compassionate response....from a parent. If your child comes to you and says "Mommy, I have a penis, but I feel like I am a girl and I like dresses and boys" please believe they are going through much more internal turmoil and confusion than you, as the parent, ever could. They live in a world where they will forever be viewed as either crazy, freaks, sexual deviants, or sinners....but folks worried about dresses

I applaud that woman and her husband....maybe the reason they are okay with their son identifying and dressing like he wants is because they did the research and don't want him to be another statistic. They actually love him....differences and all. 

It also doesn't help that out of the LGBTQ community and overwhelming amount of those that face the most violence and hatred are transgenders of color. That's kinda telling.......

Don't have kids if you don't think that you can love them unconditionally for who they are. 








Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:22pm
give me a break!


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:29pm
Bye Felicia. You can be politically correct...outside of my family. 0_0 


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:31pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

A mother that wants a girl in that photo ? SMH .... Not in my home /public at such a young age . I would pray and seek professional help if it became a serious issue at 5 years old . No way i would allow my b toddler boy to wear a dress. I would support a Gay adult child . My husband would die . My daughter use to love spiderman and all boy toys until the age of 3 . Now she can't get enough girly things .


That right there? That's some new age stuff that my black ass will never ever ever be down for. I am completely okay with their parenting for their son. My son? Nope. In fact, I would book the first flight to Nigeria for him. 


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:35pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Wellllll.....how folks run their house is their business, but I hope no one would disown their flesh and blood due to their gender identity. 

Girls can show an interest in sports and they are considered a "tomboy"....a boy shows an interest in "girly things" and now it's a problem? Do some of yall have a problem with your little man crying, too? 

There are no longer any reputable psychiatrists that would co-sign that encouraging a child to identify (gender wise) as they feel to be a bad thing. Being a transgender is not a mental illness. These people just repress their feelings and a lot end up committing suicide. Sooooooo, if your son killing himself is worth it to you, just so you don't have to deal with your personal antiquated ideas of your child identifying as a girl, than that's something you will have to deal with. 

But yes, encouraging a child to repress their gender identity is bad parenting

I'd agree if people were saying "I don't want him to be in a dress because I dont want him to be bullied" but to say "I dont want him to identify as a girl....just cause I don't like it" is selfish as hell. It's not about you. It's about your child's psyche. Let's say being a transgender was a mental illness....it would be awful if it was met with such an in-compassionate response....from a parent. If your child comes to you and says "Mommy, I have a penis, but I feel like I am a girl and I like dresses and boys" please believe they are going through much more internal turmoil and confusion than you, as the parent, ever could. They live in a world where they will forever be viewed as either crazy, freaks, sexual deviants, or sinners....but folks worried about dresses

I applaud that woman and her husband....maybe the reason they are okay with their son identifying and dressing like he wants is because they did the research and don't want him to be another statistic. They actually love him....differences and all. 

It also doesn't help that out of the LGBTQ community and overwhelming amount of those that face the most violence and hatred are transgenders of color. That's kinda telling.......

Don't have kids if you don't think that you can love them unconditionally for who they are. 


Great post, O!!


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 10:53pm
in the same vein is it possible to raise children without going to extreemes as adults we force our views on children and I think its wrong! just like parents who are like I raise my child gender neutral which is impossible


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:01pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Bye Felicia. You can be politically factually correct...outside of my family. 0_0 

Fixed it for ya'. Wink


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:07pm
my son wont be wearing a dress. he would wear what I buy, just like my daughter. that aint repression


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:14pm
Allowing your child to identify as they please is not "forcing" anything. It's just the opposite. 

Lawd, I hope some of yall don't end up with a little boy with a little sashay of the hip or high pitched voice. I can imagine the beating they'd get and the "lil' n* you a man...act right!11" speech. This is why so many LGBTQ people say the black community is embarrassingly homo/transphobic. 

This is not a stranger. This is your 7 year old child and some of yall are talking about sending him away for something like this. That's deep. 

Again, run your household as you wish. There are plenty of tolerant LGBTQ safe houses that your hypothetical child will eventually run to where they can get support, information, and love. 

My kids can pop out as a MTF transgendered butch lesbians (damn that would be interesting..lol) and I would still love and support them. Embarrassed


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:15pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Bye Felicia. You can be politically factually POLITICALLY correct...outside of my family. 0_0 

Fixed it for ya'. Wink

You must be cross eyed. It was right before


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:15pm
I will never believe a toddler can dertermine his or her sexual orientation at 4 or 5 years of age . I am a parent and great great Aunt . I have never met a baby that could understand anything sexual and pray i never do . I guess we should agree to disagree ..


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:17pm
I will repress.

I told my mother I was a damn Republican when I was in elementary school. She spoke sense and I learned better. Now the world is a better place for me 0_0


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:17pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Bye Felicia. You can be politically factually POLITICALLY correct...outside of my family. 0_0 

Fixed it for ya'. Wink

You must be cross eyed. It was right before



Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:19pm
Has BHM explained why a young child wishing they were the opposite gender and a young child wishing they were the opposite race have two completely different effects on some of you? One is met with PC sympathy and the other..not so much.

Explain. Go.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:27pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

He can be gay if he wanna be, but if I see him wearing skirts, trying to emulate that gay lisp accent, or twirling in my house, he will get kicked out.Thats just the way it is. I dont need all that extra stuff
You'd kick out a child for being effeminate? 



Would it make me evil if I say yes? When I raise my children, they will know the rules of my home. If he cant wait till he's 18 and out of my house to wear dresses and whatever the hell else then he better start calling his Grandma to go live with her because it will not happen in my house




there will be no Gregory Gorgeous' in your house?  welp....

honestly I kind of agree.  u can play with barbie's with your sisters if u want to but you'll not be dressed like a girl off my dime and in my house.  don't mean I don't love u but you'll not be doing that. once you are grown and move out...then you can do what u want and i'll support u.


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:28pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I will never believe a toddler can dertermine his or her sexual orientation at 4 or 5 years of age . I am a parent and great great Aunt . I have never met a baby that could understand anything sexual and pray i never do . I guess we should agree to disagree ..
That's fine. I hope we do agree that the child shouldn't be given away and should feel loved regardless. 

Sexual orientation isn't the same as gender identity. I identify as a woman, I am biologically a woman...my sexual orientation is heterosexual. A MTF transgender can  biologically be a man but her sexual orientation is "lesbian". Uggghhhh I really don't even feel like having to break all of that down. 




Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:35pm
Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:36pm
I knew I liked girls since I was 5....I would molest all my older sister's female friends and a couple girls on the bus....good times..I only stopped when I got teased for it...I thought it was normal until then lol


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:38pm
Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.
Do you work with Gays? or are you talking about your friends, family tv? I want to talk about childhood sexual abuse victims and what % of people also id as homosexual


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:42pm
Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.




that's what my bestie said.  he said once he realized what folks really thought he got a beard thru JH and HS.   I remember my first crush was a woman in elementary school but I honestly knew enough not to say anything about it.


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:42pm
LOL Damn BB


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:43pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:


I knew I liked girls since I was 5....I would molest all my older
sister's female friends and a couple girls on the bus....good times..I only stopped when I got teased for it...I thought it was normal until then lol

Not trying to discredit your feelings I am just asking are you saying you were sexually attracted to females at age 5? And what do you mean by molest?? like how much did you know about sex at age 5?


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:47pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.
Do you work with Gays? or are you talking about your friends, family tv? I want to talk about childhood sexual abuse victims and what % of people also id as homosexual
 
People I've met over the years, friends, family, and some people I watch on youtube


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:50pm
Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.
Do you work with Gays? or are you talking about your friends, family tv? I want to talk about childhood sexual abuse victims and what % of people also id as homosexual

 
People I've met over the years, friends, family, and some people I watch on youtube
I just ask because many gays I have come into contact with have said they were sexually molested or abused! And I wont state my profession but I have worked with many homosexuals both male and female over my career


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:51pm
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.




that's what my bestie said.  he said once he realized what folks really thought he got a beard thru JH and HS.   I remember my first crush was a woman in elementary school but I honestly knew enough not to say anything about it.

Yeah that's why I really believe people are born this way


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:51pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I will never believe a toddler can dertermine his or her sexual orientation at 4 or 5 years of age . I am a parent and great great Aunt . I have never met a baby that could understand anything sexual and pray i never do . I guess we should agree to disagree ..
That's fine. I hope we do agree that the child shouldn't be given away and should feel loved regardless. 

Sexual orientation isn't the same as gender identity. I identify as a woman, I am biologically a woman...my sexual orientation is heterosexual. A MTF transgender can  biologically be a man but her sexual orientation is "lesbian". Uggghhhh I really don't even feel like having to break all of that down. 


Why would a woman my age need for you to explain the difference ? I now the difference . I am not familar with you , but your post come across similar to a member with many usernames .  I apologize in advance if you only have one . Why do feel your thoughts are correct ? I simply disagree with you .


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:54pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Interesting..every gay, lesbian, and trans I've talked to or watched have all said they knew from a very young age. They didn't know the word for it, but they knew that they felt that way.
Do you work with Gays? or are you talking about your friends, family tv? I want to talk about childhood sexual abuse victims and what % of people also id as homosexual

 
People I've met over the years, friends, family, and some people I watch on youtube
I just ask because many gays I have come into contact with have said they were sexually molested or abused! And I wont state my profession but I have worked with many homosexuals both male and female over my career

Hmmmm.....there are many heterosexuals that were molested and abused too.......what's the relevance here? 


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 11:58pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:


I knew I liked girls since I was 5....I would molest all my older
sister's female friends and a couple girls on the bus....good times..I only stopped when I got teased for it...I thought it was normal until then lol

Not trying to discredit your feelings I am just asking are you saying you were sexually attracted to females at age 5? And what do you mean by molest?? like how much did you know about sex at age 5?


I would touch their breast and all over their bodies. Most of the time they laughed it off and thought I was joking. However, one of my sister's friends must have been liked girls too cuz she allowed me to explore her body "but not down there". That was an interesting night lmao

In class I would sit behind a girl while my teacher was reading a book to the class and pull back her pants/panties so I could see her butt LOL She allowed me for weeeeeeeeeeeeks before she told me to stop

On the bus I would ask girls to see their chest or vagina....

It's interesting how I got away with all that without getting caught once by an adult LOL


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 12:00am
ohmycurlz who were you in your past BHM life?


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 12:00am
P.S

I was never sexually abused as a kid


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 12:02am
the relevance here is this: The first sexual interaction lays the foundation for sexual consciousness, if you were molested how can anyone be sure of their sexual choice?



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